Wow I don't know quite how to type this up yet. But basically, I feel like i've discovered that there is some kind of world within myself, inside my head. Its made up of very intelligent, human like entities who know how to do some things way better than I can "out here" in the real world like create complex music, sing, and show me things in a computerized music video style about myself and "their world" in complex creative ways.
I get a peek into it if I take just about two, maybe three mL's of 1,4-butanediol and lay down for a nap, and just sort of meditate and relax until I get into a state that sort of resembles sleep paralysis, but is much much cooler. I'd guess GHB or GBL would be similar, but I have not tried either one while I have not been on a cocktail of other drugs, and i'm only able to get this thing to happen when pretty much sober otherwise. This isn't just a one or two time thing this happens almost everytime I take 1,4 and go to sleep.. so it seems pretty reliable that i'm able to go back to their "gateway to Me room".
Anyway, I just woke up from one of those nap's... and thought holy shit, i need to type ---something up, this is way interesting.
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I'm laying down, usually sort of tired and relaxed, and its similar to entering into sleep paralysis (which i get often enough), only I never get any of this crazy stuff in regular sleep paralysis. I enter a mostly dark... thing, i don't know what to call it cause most of what happens is in audio .. but not totally.
Its different every time, but these things or whatever is aware of my presence (is aware that i'm aware if them) and they start to give me a show of some kind. Sometimes moving from left to right (while making a sound) running around slamming doors shut. Talking about all sorts of random things, I can't remember most of the details though but one thing is clear: They have REALLY GOOD creative ability, WAAAY better than i've ever had myself. I'm actually jealous that there's a part of myself which clearly exists which is very creative but I don't seem to have direct, easy access to for some reason.... maybe thats something for me to figure out?
A couple things I remembered from this last nap:
There was this sound audio playing in the style of a TV commercial or documentary,where they seemed to be describing what used to happen to them when I was taking 60mg dexedrine a day years ago. Its hard to remember but they were describing it like it was bad weather that would hit them for months, then just suddenly stop, and I remember the specific phrase "when blood levels dropped" (the weather stopped). They then talked about how it hardly ever happens (the bad weather) anymore, or how they haven't seen the bad weather anymore (i'm no longer on dexedrine). I also remember them saying how it made them all amped up and energetic/partying for a long time then down too - but, they were explaining me this stuff in a VERY creative way, which I can't remember enough in detail unfortunately.. everything they said seemed as if it was put together by a group of very creative minds who worked hard (maybe its not hard for them who knows) for 6 months putting together a very good / funny / to the point in a joking type way youtube video showing me what my inner selves have to go through when I take amphetamines lol. It was explained in a way that didn't seem directed at me necessarily but, more like an educational video to educate some of the other "them"s on life in the them-world.
One of the last things they were playing me in sound form was a song, "You do it your way... we do it our way... we call it the yawway.. the yawway.. the yawway" (along with complex melodies.. that i'd have an extremely hard, if not totally impossible time creating in real life, even if i was an expert in all the latest music software).
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Gosh its bizarre. It might be the same entities seen/heard on DMT, or in dreaming. But they seem at least somewhat self aware and intelligent - and human like, and definitely creative. I've always seemed to think I lack creativity, but it seems as though its THERE... inside my head, if I could just learn to tap into it!
I get a peek into it if I take just about two, maybe three mL's of 1,4-butanediol and lay down for a nap, and just sort of meditate and relax until I get into a state that sort of resembles sleep paralysis, but is much much cooler. I'd guess GHB or GBL would be similar, but I have not tried either one while I have not been on a cocktail of other drugs, and i'm only able to get this thing to happen when pretty much sober otherwise. This isn't just a one or two time thing this happens almost everytime I take 1,4 and go to sleep.. so it seems pretty reliable that i'm able to go back to their "gateway to Me room".
Anyway, I just woke up from one of those nap's... and thought holy shit, i need to type ---something up, this is way interesting.
--------------------
I'm laying down, usually sort of tired and relaxed, and its similar to entering into sleep paralysis (which i get often enough), only I never get any of this crazy stuff in regular sleep paralysis. I enter a mostly dark... thing, i don't know what to call it cause most of what happens is in audio .. but not totally.
Its different every time, but these things or whatever is aware of my presence (is aware that i'm aware if them) and they start to give me a show of some kind. Sometimes moving from left to right (while making a sound) running around slamming doors shut. Talking about all sorts of random things, I can't remember most of the details though but one thing is clear: They have REALLY GOOD creative ability, WAAAY better than i've ever had myself. I'm actually jealous that there's a part of myself which clearly exists which is very creative but I don't seem to have direct, easy access to for some reason.... maybe thats something for me to figure out?
A couple things I remembered from this last nap:
There was this sound audio playing in the style of a TV commercial or documentary,where they seemed to be describing what used to happen to them when I was taking 60mg dexedrine a day years ago. Its hard to remember but they were describing it like it was bad weather that would hit them for months, then just suddenly stop, and I remember the specific phrase "when blood levels dropped" (the weather stopped). They then talked about how it hardly ever happens (the bad weather) anymore, or how they haven't seen the bad weather anymore (i'm no longer on dexedrine). I also remember them saying how it made them all amped up and energetic/partying for a long time then down too - but, they were explaining me this stuff in a VERY creative way, which I can't remember enough in detail unfortunately.. everything they said seemed as if it was put together by a group of very creative minds who worked hard (maybe its not hard for them who knows) for 6 months putting together a very good / funny / to the point in a joking type way youtube video showing me what my inner selves have to go through when I take amphetamines lol. It was explained in a way that didn't seem directed at me necessarily but, more like an educational video to educate some of the other "them"s on life in the them-world.
One of the last things they were playing me in sound form was a song, "You do it your way... we do it our way... we call it the yawway.. the yawway.. the yawway" (along with complex melodies.. that i'd have an extremely hard, if not totally impossible time creating in real life, even if i was an expert in all the latest music software).
-----
Gosh its bizarre. It might be the same entities seen/heard on DMT, or in dreaming. But they seem at least somewhat self aware and intelligent - and human like, and definitely creative. I've always seemed to think I lack creativity, but it seems as though its THERE... inside my head, if I could just learn to tap into it!