ComedownsSuck
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2013
- Messages
- 17
Over the past 3-4 years I have been struggling with the whole idea of staying sober. At the age of 14 I started dabbling with marijuana. I had smoked weed before even drinking Alchohol, and it didn't take long for drugs to totally consume my life. By the age of 16 I was very familiar with most perscription pills and how they personally affected my body, aswell as many other substances including psychedelics such as LSD, Psilosybin, and MDMA, and many of the research chemicals such as the 2-cx family and the 2-5x family. I was addicted to stimulants for a while and quit them cold turkey a while back, and was also very addicted to opiate painkillers for a while. When I realized this I also quit them cold turkey. The withdrawls were hell, but nothing could prepare me for what I would have experianced more recently.
About 2 months ago, I found a very solid connection for 2mg xanax bars. I had tried xanax before finding this connection, but it was always very hard for me to get, and often I would take .5mgs and pass out. I never really looked for it because of this, and didn't really understand what all the hype was about over it. Shortly after finding this new connection, my world was turned upside-down in a matter of 24 hours. My best friend was declared a missing person, and nobody knew where he was, not even his parents. Around the same time as this I was robbed for $850 and someone was out to get me because I owed that money to someone else, and I was also having problems with a girl I had been seeing about 2 years. The stress of these 3 events all happening at once caused me to search for an escape. I found this escape in xanax. For about the first week of taking xanax, I was taking 15-20 2mg bars a day (30-40mg) in attempt to escape from what I considered to be a hell of a reality. This went on for about a week until one morning I woke up violently shaking. This had never happened to me before with any substance, and I had heard horror stories from other people about benzodiazepine withdrawl and how dangerous it was, so I instantly had a feeling that I may have become dependent on the xanax. I was right. I didn't see myself checking into an impatient rehab program, so at first I tried to taper myself down. I started my taper plan at 10mg's spread throughout the day. Over about a 4 week period I was able to taper myself down to 7mgs/ day. Once here, I found myself unable to taper any lower without the withdrawls being too bad to handle. At this point I didn't really get any sort of "high" from the xanax, and considered this my "functioning dose". I somehow managed to keep a job, continue going to college, and carry on what I thought to be a somewhat "normal" life. I was stuck on this 7mg/day dose for about 2-3 weeks when finally I realized that I needed more help. I knew that the risk of seizures/severity of benzo withdrawls weren't anything to mess around with, so I checked myself into a rehab/detox facility. After a week of pure hell in there, I was finally released to go home. Today marks my 10th day of complete sobriety, 7 of which were in rehab, the other 3 have been back at home. Withdrawing from the xanax was nothing I could've ever prepared myself for, and the withdrawls were far worse then any stimulant or opiate withdrawl I have ever experianced, and I would never like to experiance them again, and pray that nobody else has to ever go through them.
Looking back on my past experiance with xanax, I am very thankful that I am still alive as I would often mix bars with Alchohol or other drugs. Taking just that amount of xanax alone, and considering the amounts of time I would literally be blacked out for, I can't believe that I am still walking the face of this earth. From what othe people tell me, I also made some very poor descisions while intoxicated by xanax, and my mind is blown as to how I didn't end up in jail either.
If anyone else is struggling with xanax addiction, I would STRONGLY reccommend a detox facility. There they can moniter you through a safe withdrawl, and in the place I went even provided other drugs/vitamins such as lorezapam (Ativan) to help take the edge off the withdrawl, and made it much safer for me to come off of. Most detox facilities can have you in and out within a week long period, and they really do provide a safe environment to detox in, with doctors and nurses ready to go incase anything were to happen. I didn't even have 1 seizure detoxing off this crazy high of a dose of xanax, because they knew what they were doing there.
I am very thankful to be alive and a free man right now. If anyone is struggling with benzos, I would reccommend getting the help you need to make it past. I wish I would've done this when I first realized I had a problem with the xanax.
About 2 months ago, I found a very solid connection for 2mg xanax bars. I had tried xanax before finding this connection, but it was always very hard for me to get, and often I would take .5mgs and pass out. I never really looked for it because of this, and didn't really understand what all the hype was about over it. Shortly after finding this new connection, my world was turned upside-down in a matter of 24 hours. My best friend was declared a missing person, and nobody knew where he was, not even his parents. Around the same time as this I was robbed for $850 and someone was out to get me because I owed that money to someone else, and I was also having problems with a girl I had been seeing about 2 years. The stress of these 3 events all happening at once caused me to search for an escape. I found this escape in xanax. For about the first week of taking xanax, I was taking 15-20 2mg bars a day (30-40mg) in attempt to escape from what I considered to be a hell of a reality. This went on for about a week until one morning I woke up violently shaking. This had never happened to me before with any substance, and I had heard horror stories from other people about benzodiazepine withdrawl and how dangerous it was, so I instantly had a feeling that I may have become dependent on the xanax. I was right. I didn't see myself checking into an impatient rehab program, so at first I tried to taper myself down. I started my taper plan at 10mg's spread throughout the day. Over about a 4 week period I was able to taper myself down to 7mgs/ day. Once here, I found myself unable to taper any lower without the withdrawls being too bad to handle. At this point I didn't really get any sort of "high" from the xanax, and considered this my "functioning dose". I somehow managed to keep a job, continue going to college, and carry on what I thought to be a somewhat "normal" life. I was stuck on this 7mg/day dose for about 2-3 weeks when finally I realized that I needed more help. I knew that the risk of seizures/severity of benzo withdrawls weren't anything to mess around with, so I checked myself into a rehab/detox facility. After a week of pure hell in there, I was finally released to go home. Today marks my 10th day of complete sobriety, 7 of which were in rehab, the other 3 have been back at home. Withdrawing from the xanax was nothing I could've ever prepared myself for, and the withdrawls were far worse then any stimulant or opiate withdrawl I have ever experianced, and I would never like to experiance them again, and pray that nobody else has to ever go through them.
Looking back on my past experiance with xanax, I am very thankful that I am still alive as I would often mix bars with Alchohol or other drugs. Taking just that amount of xanax alone, and considering the amounts of time I would literally be blacked out for, I can't believe that I am still walking the face of this earth. From what othe people tell me, I also made some very poor descisions while intoxicated by xanax, and my mind is blown as to how I didn't end up in jail either.
If anyone else is struggling with xanax addiction, I would STRONGLY reccommend a detox facility. There they can moniter you through a safe withdrawl, and in the place I went even provided other drugs/vitamins such as lorezapam (Ativan) to help take the edge off the withdrawl, and made it much safer for me to come off of. Most detox facilities can have you in and out within a week long period, and they really do provide a safe environment to detox in, with doctors and nurses ready to go incase anything were to happen. I didn't even have 1 seizure detoxing off this crazy high of a dose of xanax, because they knew what they were doing there.
I am very thankful to be alive and a free man right now. If anyone is struggling with benzos, I would reccommend getting the help you need to make it past. I wish I would've done this when I first realized I had a problem with the xanax.