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Travel ★ Dream Journal : Share your dreams ☯

An old friend..

A beautiful dream and a bit melancholic, I hugged an old girlfriend of mine back when I was in school and this is how the dream manifested, I was in highschool and there was a second girl that I knew behind us, and I cried when I hugged her.

Beautiful dream, now I have to find her number somehow to call this bitch
 
I've had a few more interesting nights. Some of these were so absurd that I'm still laughing over them...

May 14-15, 2019: "Convenience Store Attack/Sandwich D.J./Taco Beer"

Two teenage boys in front of a convenience store tricked a third one into taking some kind of drug so that they could assault him in some way. I'm not sure if it was a beating, rape or robbery (or a combination) but it was serious. One of the assailants ended up chasing a teenage girl through the center of town and I helped her hide behind a tree.

I got a job at a Subway sandwich shop downtown. A guy that I knew as a teenager worked there and I thought that he was involved in the attack somehow but wasn't sure. We were almost out of ingredients but I found some regular sliced white bread and made sandwiches with the little bit that I had left, which didn't make the customers too happy.

I also worked there as a radio D.J. and was supposed to make music samples by putting sandwich toppings on a vinyl record and spinning it on a turntable while I recorded it. I chose some old R&B album from the 1970's that featured a black female singer and a horn section. The record sounded good but I couldn't quite figure out how to play it with lunchmeat on it!

I went to see my mom and she gave me some "Mexican beer" that she found in my dad's old closet, so I decided to pour myself a mug of it. When I did, a couple of old soggy tortilla chips and salsa rose to the top, creating a disgusting film! (I decided to pass on the beer.)

May 15-16, 2019: "Towel & Wall Game/Train To China/Reality Show/Gross Chinese Food"

There was a concrete wall in the basement of the house where I grew up that was almost ceiling-high. I played a game where I would throw a towel as high as I could against the wall and it would make a wave crash just as high on the other side. The goal was to throw it over the wall and make the water come over.​

I planned a trip from Massachusetts to China by train, which was supposed to take about a day or so (fast train, I guess). I started to worry that I'd feel claustrophobic being stuck on there so long. It was also apparently winter and about 20 degrees (Fahrenheit) and snowy/icy outside, so I was worried about the ride being dangerous.

My mom entered me in some reality TV show to win a high-profile office job. I had to submit a cassette tape of an original song for some reason, and chose one that I had supposedly written about an old girlfriend of mine. It had a ridiculously long and repetitive title that was something like "For So She Knows That I Find Her To Be So Beautiful" and I tried changing the label to just "Beautiful" but didn't have time. I had to put it in a red plastic cup that had little tabs on the bottom (like the tabs that you pop out of the cassettes themselves) and I cut them off.

(Before bed I was watching a video about this bar in Yukon Territory, Canada that serves a shot with a real mummified human toe in it... look it up!!!)

Jimmy Greenspoon (the late keyboard player from Three Dog Night) invited me over to have Chinese food with him and his wife at their home in California. One of the dishes was supposed to be chicken feet but looked like human toes covered in silver. They were supposed to be thousands of years old. There was also salmon sashimi and something like a tripe dish too. I tried some kind of spring roll or dumpling that was really hard and rubbery. Yum.

He was getting drunk on straight vermouth and his wife was upset. I pulled her to the side and said that she should have Chuck Negron (one of the band's old lead singers) talk to him because he got clean & sober back in 1991. (In real life Jimmy Greenspoon got sober even earlier, back in 1985).

May 16-17, 2019: "Liver Transplant/Hot Pepper Hand"

I was told that I needed a liver transplant and had been approved for one. I was talking to a few other people at the hospital who were on the waiting list but didn't want them to know that I used to drink, so I said that it was for "Familial Idiopathic Hepatic Insufficiency". (I just looked it up and there actually is something called "Familial Idiopathic Cirrhosis". I must have seen it somewhere.)

I was looking through the produce section of a supermarket and noticed a small hole on the back of my right hand between the thumb and forefinger. I could see something in it so I tried to squeeze it out. When I did, the hole opened up and a green jalapeno pepper emerged from it! I hypothesized that a seed must have gotten imbedded in my hand and then germinated instantly.

Sweet Dreams!!!
Dreamflyer
:rolleyes:
 
Got one...

Dreamt I chopped the head off a snake and made pad Thai with it and was feeding it to guests. Lol
 
I've been analyzing my dreams more lately and realizing how much they reveal to me about the inner workings of my mind. I'm going to start providing more commentary about what they mean to me. I'll post my latest as soon as I get a chance...
 
Okay, let's see if I can get caught up here...

May 17-18, 2019: "Baseball Collision"

I was at a baseball game and the baserunner accidentally injured an opponent or umpire when he slid into base. He stopped to ask the other guy if he was alright and got in trouble with his team for doing so, as though it was supposed to be a bitter rivalry. I got mad and started chanting "good is bad, right is wrong".

(I think this has to do with the fact that I've always struggled with the "nice guys finish last" dilemma, especially in the workplace.)

May 20-21, 2019: "Scenes From A Local Walmart"

I went to Walmart with a buddy of mine because they were supposedly selling research chemicals/"legal highs" from the shelves. There were plastic zip lock envelopes with orange labels that said "Ayahuasca", but they were only empty ones for storing it in.

There were glass eye dropper bottles of something clear and resinous but I couldn't read the labels. I saw item tags for things like salvia divinorum or spice-type smoking blends but the pegs were all empty.

Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan sat on the floor (yes, in Walmart) and gave an impromptu acoustic jam session!

May 21-22, 2019: "Diner Robbery/Acting Class"

I was at some diner with my parents when a man burst in with a gun. I managed to force him back out the front door and lock it, but realized that his young lady friend was his accomplice and she was still inside. I think I managed to subdue her somehow.

(A couple times at previous jobs, I missed having a gun pulled on me by a matter of days or even hours. It reminds me of how fragile and unpredictable life is, and I think I have a little guilt for being able to avoid being held up so narrowly in the past.)

I was at some acting school run by some rich female author and I had to stay on the grounds at all times. She put me up in a first class hotel and all, but I wasn't allowed to go anywhere.

I had to keep going in for auditions. My choices of rolls were some Shakespearian play, a new comedy starring Bill Cosby (!), a movie about a record producer, or a surreal comedy about a stoner dude whose car fills up with smoke every time he has a certain vision (I chose the stoner one, with the music one as my second choice)!

Sweet Dreams!!!
Dreamflyer
:rolleyes:
 
I haven't been dreaming much lately. I've actially been thinking of getting some iboga TA extract and having a strong experience (not a flood though, that was likely a once in a lifetime experience). That stuff is the most potent dream enhancer I've ever encountered. After my flood dose I had super vivid and magical-feeling dreams for a couple of years on a very regular basis.
 
I wonder if it's possible to feel the emotions stirred up by a dream even after the dreams forgotten. I woke up the other day feeling strong emotions. Not sure how to describe them, I often feel emotions there don't seem to be words for. But they are often caused by vivid dreams and nightmares I have. But usually I have woken up out of the dream feeling that way and remembering the dream.

This time I woke up with no memory of a dream yet still felt that way. But I've had it happen before where I've felt like I had no dreams only to later remember that I'd actually had.

Dreaming is such a fascinating phenomenon.
 
It sure is. It's crazy how you can be immersed in a world that you totally just take as real, as if you've always been there. In my more vivid dreams I'll have a history with people or places in the dream and it's just like I'm remembering details from the past when I'm awake, except they're not real, it's just something my mind invented. The whole thing is less conscious than being awake, almost always. Any time I've realized I was in a dream, it starts fading and I wake up, except one time I should write about sometime.

I sometimes have layers of dreams, where I wake up, get up and start my morning and then wake up in bed again. I think to myself, wow, I just dreamed that I got up, but now I'm awake. And I'll get up and start my morning, and wake up again. Occasionally it's 4 or 5 times, usually just once, twice is pretty common. I can tell now when I'm really awake because I question whether I'm awake, whereas when I'm dreaming still I just totally assume I'm awake and I'm not quite conscious enough to question it, even though I'm aware I just woke up from a dream 2 times, so I'm thinking about the concept of dreaming but not conscious enough to realize I still am.

My ibogaine experience was so interesting because it was a 3 day long sequence of really strange dreams, the whole time I was in that state where I was quite conscious, I was making decisions, thinking about stuff, but I was never able to realize that what I was experiencing was a dream, I took it all for granted as reality. I dreamed so much more vividly for a long time after that, years. Probably about 2 years.

It seems like dreams are your subconscious mind at work. Maybe they're important parts of programming our conscious minds. It felt like the ibogaine, through dreams, changed me, on a deep subconscious level. I came out of it with the strong urge to get healthy and I haven't wanted any opiates since, I even was still in light withdrawal for a week afterwards but I just didn't care, I dealt with it, it was easy. The ingrained pathway of opiates was gone. I started doing things I wanted to do instead of thinking about it and doing nothing, working out, making moves in my life. It was easy because something was changed on a deep level.

I feel like I went slightly off topic maybe but I think it's relevant because the whole experience was mediated by dreams. I was accessing that realm of the mind very strongly. It was so fascinating.

If you're looking to read something really long, but that contains a whole bunch of dreams, you can read my ibogaine report: https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/ibogaine-flood-dose-first-time-into-the-flood.723353/
 
Whenever I wake up from a dream, I immediately jot down a couple of key words in my notebook to help jog my memory later in the day. It works remarkably well.

Oh yeah, and I have quite a few of those nights where I know that I dreamed *something* but all that I can usually remember is the emotional content, which comes to me throughout the day almost like little mini Deja Vu.

I had one last night but all I know is that it was very creepy/disturbing and involved a videogame like Donkey Kong.
 
dreamflyer said:
Whenever I wake up from a dream, I immediately jot down a couple of key words in my notebook to help jog my memory later in the day. It works remarkably well.

Oh yeah, and I have quite a few of those nights where I know that I dreamed *something* but all that I can usually remember is the emotional content, which comes to me throughout the day almost like little mini Deja Vu.

I had one last night but all I know is that it was very creepy/disturbing and involved a videogame like Donkey Kong.
Click to expand...

Usually if I wake up from a dream I want to remember I try and write down as much detail as possible. It's amazing how good our minds are at trying to erase memories of dreams.

It's another aspect of dreaming I find so fascinating. We have dreams, yet our mind seems to deliberately try to get rid of the experience of them. Even if you wake up straight out of a dream, if you don't think about the dream you can actually sense how much your memory of it has been suppressed as little as a half hour later.

You only seem to remember them if you go over the whole thing at least once while you're conscious, so that your memory of THAT keeps it retained.

But why? What's the point? Why do we all dream like it's such an important function, yet we've also evolved to try and throw out the memories of the dreams.

Dreams are like this huge, largely unexplored mystery we all experience and largely take for granted.
 
I had so many intense dreams last night (or rather early this morning), I wanted to write them all down in here when I woke up but then the day happened and I don't remember much anymore unfortunately. Actually the first half of them were all unpleasant. The first one sticks out the most, in it, I had gotten back together with my ex for some reason, and I was feeling guilty because I was also still with my girlfriend. I used to have those dreams a lot but they've faded over the years (it's because I was married but trying to get divorced for a long time). I felt like I was trapped, but unlike other times in the past in these dreams where I felt trapped by her/by the threat of her, this time it was disturbing because I was feeling increasing affection for her and I was starting to think, well man, I think I am gonna have to break up with my girlfriend. But it was weird because I really didn't want to feel that way and it felt really wrong and it still felt like a trap. Also for some reason, this was all taking place in this huge, super massive indoor dome that had frictionless surfaces, and I kept running and then sliding at really high speeds and it was almost like flying. The floor and walls were brightly colored and it sort of resembled intenstines or something in pattern/texture, if intestines were glowing all kinds of different colors. That aspect of the dream was really fun. What woke me up was that I started to think that this couldn't possibly be real, and then it started to fade (which is what always happens if I realize that - which I don't usually - instead of lucid dreaming, I just wake up). But in this case I was so glad to wake up next to my girlfriend, I had an adrenaline rush I was so relieved and I said "thank god!" out loud.

After that I had some other mini stressful dreams, and then after that I was having a bunch of little mini dreams where I kept waking up out of them but I was still dreaming, and me and my girlfriend or me and other people were discussing or doing normal, mundane things, and I was aware I had previously been asleep and woken up multiple times, but at all times I believed I was actually awake and not dreaming. I get those often in the early morning, and sometimes it confuses me in real life as to what actually happened and what was a dream because the stuff that happens is so normal. For example, the other day I spent a half hour looking for a bag of Himalayan pink rock salt that I remembered my girlfriend saying she found (we ran out of it a few weeks ago and haven't bought more). I clearly remember the scene, we were in the kitchen and she was like oh hey, by the way we didn't run out of salt, I found a bag. I had no reason to doubt this memory because even now I clearly remember it, seemed totally real. But after I couldn't find it anywhere I asked her if that happened and she was like um, nope, I never said that or found a bag of salt. So it was one of my dream-within-dream-totally-boring-normal-stuff things.

After that I had a really cool dream where I started flying a bit at the end too, and realized I was dreaming, and woke up as usual. I really thought I was going to remember that one whether I wrote it down or not but I remember nothing about it now except that.

All in all it was a particularly intense dream night for me. It's likely because I took mulungu (Erythrina mulungu) last night. I had never tried it before, I got it because it's supposed to be relaxing and anxiolytic and good for sleep, which it is, quite more effective than kava for me. After a number of hours it produced this humming buzzing feeling in my body, I didn't notice it when I went to bed, but when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night I felt it strongly, and the feeling permeated my dreams. Actually I felt it for a large part of the day after I woke up too. Interesting stuff.
 
JessFR said:
It's amazing how good our minds are at trying to erase memories of dreams.
Click to expand...

Yeah no matter how vivid it was upon waking, you'll almost always nearly totally forget unless you write it down, or else really go over it over and over in your mind to cement it in there. And even then, the details fuzz out, except for scenes or flashes which can be quite vivid. Sometimes I get flashes of strong memory from dreams at some later point, of dreams I had entirely forgotten about.

JessFR said:
But why? What's the point? Why do we all dream like it's such an important function, yet we've also evolved to try and throw out the memories of the dreams.
Click to expand...

I have this idea that dreams are a subconscious process that helps to order our conscious thoughts. They are perhaps partly a relic of the process by which short term memories are stored into long-term, but clearly it has to be more than that. The mixing of concepts that happens in dreams is really interesting to me, and it suggests to me that part of that is helping to form neuronal connections between concepts in our waking lives. It's why the phrase "let me sleep on it" is a thing. I think it's likely that dreams are the result of the conscious mind waking up to some extent and witnessing this process. We also seem to ruminate on/replay a lot of things that are bothering us or that are important to us in our lives at the time, in our dreams, even if we're not consciously aware that these are things that are bothering us/important to us. Sometimes it can help you to understand if you're suppressing something by observing recurring themes or scenarios in your dream life.

However sometimes it also seems that dreams may be wiser than that, or even paranormal. For example my mom dreamed her dad's funeral down to specific details and conversations, woke up and remembered every bit of it and carried it around with a sense of unease afterwards, and 2 months later her dad died, and she re-experienced her dream. Or my ex dreamed about her cousin's death and a friend's death, on separate occasions, and soon after those people died in the way that she dreamed. There are also many reports of people dreaming of a loved one coming to say goodbye, and these dreams seeming extraordinarily tangible, and then finding out upon waking that that person had died the night before. It is indeed a mystery.
 
I'm having a reoccurring dream that I'm climbing monkey bars over sky scrapers. Lil John jumps around playing turn down for what, and my case worker keeps telling me to be careful.

I think it means I've got a lot going for me but I'm worried I might fuck it up. Though I never fall and I'm always killing it on the bars.
 
I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night and had a long dream that I was I think a little bit awake for, that felt a lot like my early-stage ibogaine dreams in character. Ie, it was night time, fairly sinister feeling, very dim and dark. But it wasn't scary, that was just the feeling of it. Again I didn't write stuff down right away, but I remember me and someone else (not sure who, probably not someone I actually know) were staying up all night with some other people in a house. At one point we were walking around some railroad tracks in the backyard and waiting for a train to come in order to make the tracks warm so I could warm up something (maybe it was a drink?). I remember after the train went by how warm the rails were and it felt nice because I was chilly. Then afterwards we went back inside and were talking about stuff and making some noise, and some people that were also in the house were trying to sleep and were pissed, at one point this guy came out of his room and started screaming SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD DAMN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!! And then he let his dogs out. They were two sweet looking golden retrievers. They started jumping around and licking me but then the licks turned more into nips, and the nips got harder and harder. They were biting my hands. Well, one of them was, the other was still licking. I started to get nervous and tried to get them to stop, I was walking around in circles and pushing them away. Then the biting one bit down rather hard and I felt the skin tear, it hurt as if I had really been bitten. I shouted out and the dogs went away. I looked down at my hand and noticed that it was starting to bleed, and then it started bleeding pretty heavily, I was feeling the blood dripping into my other hand which I put below to stop it dripping on the floor. I heard birds chirping and noticed it was dawn. Then I woke up and it was dawn and the birds were chirping. Checked out my hand to make sure it wasn't bitten because it really felt like I had been, I don't usually feel pain in dreams.
 
JessFR said:
Dreams are like this huge, largely unexplored mystery we all experience and largely take for granted.
Click to expand...

I know. I've been fascinated with dreams since I was a young child as I've always had very vivid, surreal (and sometimes lucid) ones. My dad did too, and we used to "compare notes" in the morning to see who had the crazier ones.

I know a lot of people who say they don't dream, they don't remember them, or they have them but have no interest in them. My mom says that she finds dreams "annoying" and wishes she didn't even have them. That really depresses me because they're missing out on a really cool part of the human experience.

I mean, where else can you "trip out" every night without taking hallucinogenic drugs, visit distant lands without a passport or have sex in public without getting arrested? (and of course, fly!)

I think that our subconscious minds are processing some pretty heavy stuff while we sleep. I always wake up feeling as though I've learned something after a good night of dreaming.

Sweet Dreams!!!
Dreamflyer
:rolleyes:
 
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