I've had a few more interesting nights. Some of these were so absurd that I'm still laughing over them...
May 14-15, 2019: "Convenience Store Attack/Sandwich D.J./Taco Beer"
Two teenage boys in front of a convenience store tricked a third one into taking some kind of drug so that they could assault him in some way. I'm not sure if it was a beating, rape or robbery (or a combination) but it was serious. One of the assailants ended up chasing a teenage girl through the center of town and I helped her hide behind a tree.
I got a job at a Subway sandwich shop downtown. A guy that I knew as a teenager worked there and I thought that he was involved in the attack somehow but wasn't sure. We were almost out of ingredients but I found some regular sliced white bread and made sandwiches with the little bit that I had left, which didn't make the customers too happy.
I also worked there as a radio D.J. and was supposed to make music samples by putting sandwich toppings on a vinyl record and spinning it on a turntable while I recorded it. I chose some old R&B album from the 1970's that featured a black female singer and a horn section. The record sounded good but I couldn't quite figure out how to play it with lunchmeat on it!
I went to see my mom and she gave me some "Mexican beer" that she found in my dad's old closet, so I decided to pour myself a mug of it. When I did, a couple of old soggy tortilla chips and salsa rose to the top, creating a disgusting film! (I decided to pass on the beer.)
May 15-16, 2019: "Towel & Wall Game/Train To China/Reality Show/Gross Chinese Food"
There was a concrete wall in the basement of the house where I grew up that was almost ceiling-high. I played a game where I would throw a towel as high as I could against the wall and it would make a wave crash just as high on the other side. The goal was to throw it over the wall and make the water come over.
I planned a trip from Massachusetts to China by train, which was supposed to take about a day or so (fast train, I guess). I started to worry that I'd feel claustrophobic being stuck on there so long. It was also apparently winter and about 20 degrees (Fahrenheit) and snowy/icy outside, so I was worried about the ride being dangerous.
My mom entered me in some reality TV show to win a high-profile office job. I had to submit a cassette tape of an original song for some reason, and chose one that I had supposedly written about an old girlfriend of mine. It had a ridiculously long and repetitive title that was something like "For So She Knows That I Find Her To Be So Beautiful" and I tried changing the label to just "Beautiful" but didn't have time. I had to put it in a red plastic cup that had little tabs on the bottom (like the tabs that you pop out of the cassettes themselves) and I cut them off.
(Before bed I was watching a video about this bar in Yukon Territory, Canada that serves a shot with a real mummified human toe in it... look it up!!!)
Jimmy Greenspoon (the late keyboard player from Three Dog Night) invited me over to have Chinese food with him and his wife at their home in California. One of the dishes was supposed to be chicken feet but looked like human toes covered in silver. They were supposed to be thousands of years old. There was also salmon sashimi and something like a tripe dish too. I tried some kind of spring roll or dumpling that was really hard and rubbery. Yum.
He was getting drunk on straight vermouth and his wife was upset. I pulled her to the side and said that she should have Chuck Negron (one of the band's old lead singers) talk to him because he got clean & sober back in 1991. (In real life Jimmy Greenspoon got sober even earlier, back in 1985).
May 16-17, 2019: "Liver Transplant/Hot Pepper Hand"
I was told that I needed a liver transplant and had been approved for one. I was talking to a few other people at the hospital who were on the waiting list but didn't want them to know that I used to drink, so I said that it was for "Familial Idiopathic Hepatic Insufficiency". (I just looked it up and there actually is something called "Familial Idiopathic Cirrhosis". I must have seen it somewhere.)
I was looking through the produce section of a supermarket and noticed a small hole on the back of my right hand between the thumb and forefinger. I could see something in it so I tried to squeeze it out. When I did, the hole opened up and a green jalapeno pepper emerged from it! I hypothesized that a seed must have gotten imbedded in my hand and then germinated instantly.
Sweet Dreams!!!
Dreamflyer
