Within two months I had found the most reliable heroin connect and within another month I found myself using iv again.
This is one of many reasons why it is now considered a disease/disorder(substance use disorder) rather than just addiction. As we learn more about science in general, but addiction in specific, we understand how drug use physically changes the brain in ways that essentially manipulate the survival system to seek more drugs. It can be brutal, but some theorize that the genetics that make one susceptible to addiction also make them amazing survivors who can persevere through some of the most difficult situations.
This all came out to my wife and family about 4 weeks after my daughter was born. Needless to say everyone was gutted by it.
Honestly, I'm sure it's uncomfortable as hell, but it's probably for the best. I wish my family would confront my about my relapses earlier on, but my family tends to ignore things that are uncomfortable so it just pushes me further into denial and isolation. That can't be fun though man, sudden realizations can be very painful for many.
or the past month I have been trying to regain a foothold on my sobriety. I know I can do it and know that I will. But have had some slips here and there which I have been completely honest with my wife about.
That is commendable, imo, and you are absolutely right to believe and have faith in yourself and recovery. If your wife hasn't experienced it first hand, it may be very difficult to understand and be empathetic about, as from the outsider it often just looks like active deception/lack of commitment. But it's much more than that- like pavlov's dogs, you have connected synapses in your brain that wouldn't normally be there- or would be tied to preferably a healthy behavior.
As the saying goes, you don't go 30 miles into the wood without coming 30 miles back out.. or something like that...
I feel at this point her attitude towards me is impeding my recovery. She claims that she has been told by professionals to “detach with love”.
You might be totally right about that. I'd try to get some third part perspective if you are serious about the relationship and believe it can last if you can make it through this crisis. Maybe try meeting with a alcohol/drug counselor, preferably one with experience with working with couples or qualified marriage and family counselor. I'm sure this hasn't been easy for her either, and that there is a lot of confusion and miscommunication between the both of you.
Some time apart might not be a bad thing either. I don't know the specifics, but not all relationships are good relationships, and if she is a toxic person... well... then she must agree to work on her issues as well otherwise hope is absurd. If she's a great person, just stressed and worried and hurt, which wouldn't be abnormal in this situation, some time for each of you to work through your own issues before trying to work on your relationship might be the best approach.
Best wishes. Keep us updated.
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