spontaneously sexual with a stranger

[opiatekrzy]

hi everyone I wanted to share experience that I had last week that has been kind of been on my mind and bothering me to an extent and I would like someone to share a reasonable explanation for what happened and if it's something I should let go and move on.

so as all of you know, I'm living in San Francisco and I only been here for 4 months so I don't really know anybody really. yes i been doing crystal and fetty mainly.
I was at Walgreens and I crossed paths with this girl and we gave each other eye contact and immediately we started having small talk and it took literally 3 seconds for us to find an alley to get high. we started getting high and talking told her a little bit about me that I'm new to the area, and why I left New York, she told me a little about herself and her life story. along the conversation she bluntly asks me if I wanted my dick sucked.i responded back laughing lightly and telling her hell yeah.
after we stopped getting high we went to the train station to go our separate ways and she said follow me into the bathroom so I can suck your Dick. she did and we eventually parted ways and exchanged phone numbers.
even after we split up, we continue to text each other throughout the next couple days and today we were gonna meet up and get high. we make plans and I was told to meet her by the coffee shop and wait there cause her phone may die but promised she will be there. I waited an hour and a half and she never showed. I tried calling her and she didn't Answer and after all her phone was never shut off like she said it was going to be.

can someone please tell me what happened? did I scare her away by messaging her the past couple days and offering to hang out and get high with her? is it possible she thinks I have expectations of getting my dick sucked since I'm offering to hang out and get high and she got turned off? I texted her and told her that even though I greatly appreciated the other night and how it made my day I told her that I have absolutely no expectations or hidden motives and I told her I took a liking to her when I met her and would like a chance to become friends as this city is new to me and I don't know anyone.
off the record I'll be honest, she was the first person in San Francisco that actually gave me the time of day and took time out to get to know me and I don't know I feel vulnerable like she got

please anybody any constructive criticism opinions or some reality checks would be greatly appreciated cause I'm confused. I just got out of a 7year toxic relationship about three years ago and it's been very hard on me

 

[M!$TER-ED]

I don't think you did anything wrong that would deter her from meeting up again. IDK I would chock it up to experience, if you two find each other again it would be cool, if not, that would also be cool. It's not like you two were heavily invested in each other as a long-term relationship, you had a moment that was meaningful to you, let it go at that. If you meet up again, cool.

 

[Ki3ly]

in San Francisco that actually gave me the time of day

And then some

it's been very hard on me

It sounded like a really great chrystal experience.

If you meet someone clear and sober it may be more of a boring encounter. Or a more infatuating experience.
I'm sure you will meet someone someday. Just be yourself. Congrats on the suck. I guess it happens.

 

[SoCalShordie]

hi everyone I wanted to share experience that I had last week that has been kind of been on my mind and bothering me to an extent and I would like someone to share a reasonable explanation for what happened and if it's something I should let go and move on.

so as all of you know, I'm living in San Francisco and I only been here for 4 months so I don't really know anybody really. yes i been doing crystal and fetty mainly.
I was at Walgreens and I crossed paths with this girl and we gave each other eye contact and immediately we started having small talk and it took literally 3 seconds for us to find an alley to get high. we started getting high and talking told her a little bit about me that I'm new to the area, and why I left New York, she told me a little about herself and her life story. along the conversation she bluntly asks me if I wanted my dick sucked.i responded back laughing lightly and telling her hell yeah.
after we stopped getting high we went to the train station to go our separate ways and she said follow me into the bathroom so I can suck your Dick. she did and we eventually parted ways and exchanged phone numbers.
even after we split up, we continue to text each other throughout the next couple days and today we were gonna meet up and get high. we make plans and I was told to meet her by the coffee shop and wait there cause her phone may die but promised she will be there. I waited an hour and a half and she never showed. I tried calling her and she didn't Answer and after all her phone was never shut off like she said it was going to be.

can someone please tell me what happened? did I scare her away by messaging her the past couple days and offering to hang out and get high with her? is it possible she thinks I have expectations of getting my dick sucked since I'm offering to hang out and get high and she got turned off? I texted her and told her that even though I greatly appreciated the other night and how it made my day I told her that I have absolutely no expectations or hidden motives and I told her I took a liking to her when I met her and would like a chance to become friends as this city is new to me and I don't know anyone.
off the record I'll be honest, she was the first person in San Francisco that actually gave me the time of day and took time out to get to know me and I don't know I feel vulnerable like she got

please anybody any constructive criticism opinions or some reality checks would be greatly appreciated cause I'm confused. I just got out of a 7year toxic relationship about three years ago and it's been very hard on me

Honestly, I wouldn’t automatically assume you scared her off or did anything wrong. You two met in a very spontaneous situation, connected quickly, got high together, had a sexual encounter, exchanged numbers, and then continued talking. That can feel like a genuine connection, especially when you’re new somewhere and feeling lonely.

But I’d also try not to attach too much meaning to the connection yet. She may have genuinely liked you and still changed her mind, gotten busy, gotten high and made plans she didn’t follow through with, or simply not wanted to meet that day. There are a million possibilities, and unfortunately you may never know which one it was.

I also wouldn’t keep explaining that you don’t have expectations or hidden motives. You already said it once. At this point, I’d leave the ball in her court. If she wants to reach out, she knows you’re interested in being friends.

And honestly, I think the part that’s hurting you most isn’t necessarily her disappearing. It’s what the interaction represented to you. You’re new to SF, you don’t know many people, and she was the first person who made you feel seen and welcomed. That can make a quick connection feel much bigger emotionally, especially after coming out of a toxic relationship.

So my reality check would be: don’t chase an explanation that she may never give you. You didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, and her ghosting doesn’t automatically mean she didn’t like you. Sometimes people are just unpredictable.

Give her some space and keep meeting people. If she comes back, cool. If she doesn’t, let it be one weird chapter instead of turning it into a statement about your worth or your ability to make friends