Bin Noddin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2024
- Messages
- 24
Guys, I had to make this account cause I couldn’t retrieve my old password. I need support and advice. I know this belongs in the dark side and will probably be moved there quickly. But I need as many to see it as possible.
I had been clean of heroin and all drugs/alcohol since July 2019. My life has gotten rough lately. I have 2 young kids, a stressful career a home and all the obligations that come along with it.
On Christmas I was having a big fight with my wife. At a party I was offered a line of blow. I took it and it was one of the worst decisions of my life. I had been sniffing almost daily since then. I hate it. My nose hurts, the euphoria is so short lived, and I honestly feel much better on the days I don’t have it. I guess once you’ve kicked dope/fent the withdrawal from coke doesn’t really seem like much? But I can’t stop!! 2 weeks ago I was again, having another rough time in my marriage. I have some 20g rigs for testosterone injections (prescribed) Well my dumb ass decided I was going to shoot some coke. As you can imagine using a needle that big for iv made a mess, but it got me the all mighty ringer..
I have been sadly chasing that since. Every day telling myself it’s the last day. I’ve run up credit cards, blown through savings, and am just making a fucking mess if my life.
Yesterday I ran out of fresh 31g rigs. I said I was just going to stop for the night. 30 mins later I’m out in my garage digging around with a 20g fucking railroad spike trying to get that rush. No regard for my health or wellbeing. I normally eat very clean, exercise regularly, and compete in endurance dirt bike races. I don’t even feel like picking up a tool or doing any of the things I love. I am a shell right now.
I just need some support. Any advice from someone who has left this shit behind would be awesome. I have told 2 of my very close friends and my father about the coke use. Not the IV part. My two options here are to square it away fast or loose everything. My wife is not going to tolerate this shit again.
I had been clean of heroin and all drugs/alcohol since July 2019. My life has gotten rough lately. I have 2 young kids, a stressful career a home and all the obligations that come along with it.
On Christmas I was having a big fight with my wife. At a party I was offered a line of blow. I took it and it was one of the worst decisions of my life. I had been sniffing almost daily since then. I hate it. My nose hurts, the euphoria is so short lived, and I honestly feel much better on the days I don’t have it. I guess once you’ve kicked dope/fent the withdrawal from coke doesn’t really seem like much? But I can’t stop!! 2 weeks ago I was again, having another rough time in my marriage. I have some 20g rigs for testosterone injections (prescribed) Well my dumb ass decided I was going to shoot some coke. As you can imagine using a needle that big for iv made a mess, but it got me the all mighty ringer..
I have been sadly chasing that since. Every day telling myself it’s the last day. I’ve run up credit cards, blown through savings, and am just making a fucking mess if my life.
Yesterday I ran out of fresh 31g rigs. I said I was just going to stop for the night. 30 mins later I’m out in my garage digging around with a 20g fucking railroad spike trying to get that rush. No regard for my health or wellbeing. I normally eat very clean, exercise regularly, and compete in endurance dirt bike races. I don’t even feel like picking up a tool or doing any of the things I love. I am a shell right now.
I just need some support. Any advice from someone who has left this shit behind would be awesome. I have told 2 of my very close friends and my father about the coke use. Not the IV part. My two options here are to square it away fast or loose everything. My wife is not going to tolerate this shit again.