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What was the catalyst for you quitting opiates?

QuasiModo

QuasiModo

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
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CA
No relapses this time, no more hunger for nodding, no inkling of a desire to get gowwed again. You have quit opiates for good.

What made you change? How long has it been? How does it feel?

____________

I have been clean of opiates for 3 years (ish). The day I quit was also the day I first tried LSD. I had been contemplating how I might quit my addiction beforehand, the LSD made it simple. I quit. No suboxone, no methadone, no tapering. I quit opiates on pure willpower, motivated by the enlightened perspective I had viewed my internal processes under. I take pride in this, since then my life has become something like a dream. I am basically always on a level of ecstatic happiness, I love my friends and my lover. My family and I have never been closer. I am a polydrug abuser and a productive citizen. Soon to be a student of law.

So to those who have been clean or who have recently decided to abandon their chemical overlord, how ya doin?? :)
 
Unfortunately, I doubt many people on this board are clean, or at least have been for a substantial period of time, without the chance for relapse...myself included. However, I have quit multiple times, in different sets of circumstances...needing to pass a UA for an important job, being forced to quit inside a cell, probation officers...the most important, and significant of all though is when I realized what I was doing to my family. The lies, the secrecy, the "double life", knowing I was ruining my life and future...that's the situation I have most recently found myself in. I was clean for over a year and almost threw it all away with a month long lapse of judgement...and now am paying the price in WD, but really feel like I'm done.
 
I don't know if I will ever quit opiates entirely. I have never been physically dependent on them, I just use them frequently because they help me so much with pain and make me feel high as well. They're good drugs in my opinion. Tripping doesn't tend to make me view my opiate use in a negative light. In fact, the last time I tripped on mushrooms I was having such a great time that I planned to do heroin as soon as I came down from the trip because I didn't want the fun to stop.
 
I am 4 days clean after about 3 years on bupe and methadone and about a year on oxy/morphine and assorted benzos before that. I feel great, mentally at least.

I have always responded extremely badly to hallucinogens; I think this is partly why I felt such a strong affinity for benzos and opiates, because they are at the opposite end of the spectrum. I like to think of opiates and benzos as 'body' drugs, and hallucinogens as 'mind' drugs. Every time I used to smoke weed I would get paranoid and scared and obsessive and start fearing the people I was with. I think LSD would probably send me into psychosis.

I spent many years thinking that opiates were fantastic and ethically neutral. I suppose I still hold to the latter part. I was totally impervious to any and all advice. Two realisations turned my life around:

1) The fact that the proscription of opiates in our current legal climate is arbitrary/unfair/unreasonable does not lead to the conclusion that, therefore, a person can be opiate-addicted and happy. I think that the laws just make this impossible in most western countries.

2) Opiates were interfering horribly with my bipolar and low moods generally. I had NO energy and was always so, so, SO lethargic. I was put on various 'speed'-type meds at one point because my body was sleeping for up to 24 hours at a time. Everything was just slowed down to the point of absurdity, and it became clear to me that opiates were triggering my depressive states. I also withdrew horribly, stopped seeing friends and gained some weight. I started hating myself.

That's my story,

S
 
With the exception of a few Lortabs every now and then, I have stopped using opioids after years of severe abuse and dependence. There are/were a lot of contributing factors, but ultimately I just got sick of it. We're all well aware that an addict works harder than anyone on the planet, in order to aquire the necessary means to the desired ends, and it is exhausting. When I was using opiates every day, the only thing I looked forward to was taking opiates. I sacrificed just about everything to simply lounge around and use the drug(s). It became so difficult to remember what life is like without them, and I stopped looking forward to anything and everything, except getting a buzz. Things that I loved were reduced to obstacles standing in the way of my high.

Myself? I suppose I'm doing well these days, overall. This is not to say that there aren't days when I'd just about cut off my pinky toe for a good buzz, but for the most part I feel better than I have in years, and I'm certainly more productive.
 
suessmayr said:
2) Opiates were interfering horribly with my bipolar and low moods generally. I had NO energy and was always so, so, SO lethargic. I was put on various 'speed'-type meds at one point because my body was sleeping for up to 24 hours at a time. Everything was just slowed down to the point of absurdity, and it became clear to me that opiates were triggering my depressive states. I also withdrew horribly, stopped seeing friends and gained some weight. I started hating myself.

That's my story,

S
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^^^


Wow......it does the total opposite for me in everything youve mentioned above.
 
suessmayr said:
I am 4 days clean after about 3 years on bupe and methadone and about a year on oxy/morphine and assorted benzos before that. I feel great, mentally at least.

I have always responded extremely badly to hallucinogens; I think this is partly why I felt such a strong affinity for benzos and opiates, because they are at the opposite end of the spectrum. I like to think of opiates and benzos as 'body' drugs, and hallucinogens as 'mind' drugs. Every time I used to smoke weed I would get paranoid and scared and obsessive and start fearing the people I was with. I think LSD would probably send me into psychosis.

I spent many years thinking that opiates were fantastic and ethically neutral. I suppose I still hold to the latter part. I was totally impervious to any and all advice. Two realisations turned my life around:

1) The fact that the proscription of opiates in our current legal climate is arbitrary/unfair/unreasonable does not lead to the conclusion that, therefore, a person can be opiate-addicted and happy. I think that the laws just make this impossible in most western countries.

2) Opiates were interfering horribly with my bipolar and low moods generally. I had NO energy and was always so, so, SO lethargic. I was put on various 'speed'-type meds at one point because my body was sleeping for up to 24 hours at a time. Everything was just slowed down to the point of absurdity, and it became clear to me that opiates were triggering my depressive states. I also withdrew horribly, stopped seeing friends and gained some weight. I started hating myself.

That's my story,

S
Click to expand...

Have you tried any hallucinogens besides cannabis? I know this may sound counter intuitive, but I personally find cannabis to be a much more difficult trip than mushrooms and LSD. It causes such an intense feeling of panic and paranoia when things go bad and for me, it was almost impossible to turn a bad trip around into a positive one on marijuana. I find mushrooms and LSD to be far easier to handle and much more forgiving than cannabis.
 
Yeah I don't know. I guess if some LSD or mushrooms were available I might consider it. But I have too many issues with dysphoria and anxiety as it is; somehow I just know that such powerful hallucinogens would really fuck me up. I would be one of those horror stories; one of those people who never recovers, or gets 'stuck' in his trip. Intellectually I'm very pedantic and I don't think I would ever be able to integrate the experience as you seem to have been able to. Also I cannot imagine that I would simply come down after using them without convincing myself that I need some benzos or opiates.

S
 
I'm conflicted. I know I should want to quit. But I don't. I don't know what it will take to get me off opiates as I'm also a pain management patient. But really, I could live without them...I just don't want to. And one of the reasons I don't bother really getting clean is that I now that if I did stay off it for a bit, I'd jump right back on hoping to play around with a lower tolerance.
 
suessmayr said:
Yeah I don't know. I guess if some LSD or mushrooms were available I might consider it. But I have too many issues with dysphoria and anxiety as it is; somehow I just know that such powerful hallucinogens would really fuck me up. I would be one of those horror stories; one of those people who never recovers, or gets 'stuck' in his trip. Intellectually I'm very pedantic and I don't think I would ever be able to integrate the experience as you seem to have been able to. Also I cannot imagine that I would simply come down after using them without convincing myself that I need some benzos or opiates.

S
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Have you ever considered that anxiety/dysphoria may only manifest themselves because you think they will? As a man thinketh so he becomes..
 
I'm sure they probably do; but that should not be understated. Thought is powerful. And I think in view of that it would be unreasonable to expect to have a good trip with acid. Besides which I'm just sick of drugs and want to get healthy.

ActiqAnnie - it sounds to me like if you try to get clean you will probably fail. Willpower is the key ingredient with this shit.
 
I quit because it took so much fucking EFFORT to be an addict..its soooooo fucking tiring...i also quit because i had no more money cause i spent it all on opiates and i quit because i realized i did not want to live the rest of my life in that shitty hell..being dope sick..being high..caring only about drugs..fucking your life up..i finally just had had enough and THANKFULLY met someone who was in recovery and i told the truth for the first time (it felt so good) and he told me "get help; just suck it up and do it" and i did..and holy FUCK! am i glad i did!!! Its a shitty recovery and its alot of work and ive fucked my life up pretty darn bad but i get out of bed and i dont want to die..i feel like a human again and its fucking awesome
 
Sporadic opioid use has made me a calmer, more stable, clear-minded individual.

I dread thinking of the days I drunk alcohol, smoked weed and took benzos. Lucky that nightmare is over.
 
I've struggled with opiate addiction for a while now. Quit a bunch of times. The catalyst for wanting to quit, more than anything, is a desire to run my own life again.
Opiate abuse consumes you. It's basically a full time job. Making sure you have a shot for the morning, making sure you have cash for what you need, if you don't have the cash, figuring out how to get it, procuring the bags, eluding law enforcement, finding a vein, etc, etc, repeat, repeat.......
The same fucking grind every day, in addition to your "normal" life, and the struggles that come with that.
The real reward to it all, at first, is the rush/escape from reality. Eventually it just becomes a routine of panic followed by relief. You forget you've escaped reality. Your reality is the haze.
It just becomes fucking miserable. I'm not even gonna get into when you can't cop, and know you're gonna be sick, then are. I don't even want to write about it.
It's easy to forget when you're confronted with temptation, but I'm much happier off dope. There are mornings when I wake up and am grateful, just knowing that I can get out of bed and concentrate on my actual life.
 
piebald said:
i also quit because i had no more money cause i spent it all on opiates
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Lets all be honest, this is the key ingredient. If we all had an endless money supply, we would be arguing why opiates are so bad. Yes opiates are very addicting & can screw up lives but with an endless money supply, you wouldnt have to worry about getting sick & money problems.
 
What was it? said:
Sporadic opioid use has made me a calmer, more stable, clear-minded individual.

I dread thinking of the days I drunk alcohol, smoked weed and took benzos. Lucky that nightmare is over.
Click to expand...




Im actually in the same boat. I do get norcos prescribed for my back but I also indulge in other opiates & they have calmed me down. I can have interesting conversations with people & what not. Also, I use to be very impulsive when it came to buying stuff at the mall or buying something I wanted, like a new car & so on. Now, I think about shit before jumping into it. My gf actually likes the way I am now than before, haha!
 
I quit because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. The never ending grind to get more pills and exponentially growing tolerance were going to inevitably leave me dead. I quit drinking almost 4 years ago to wake up and find myself addicted to painkillers after being prescribed them for shoulder surgeries 3 years ago. Hydrocodone turned into oxycodone, then oxycontin, hydromorphone, and anything else on the menu.

In October of last year I closed a huge business deal and made more money that I had ever seen. The next four months were epic. In March of this year I went to close another big deal, the first I had worked since October. I got the docs signed and money transfered, I was almost on top of the world. I then went and picked up a bunch of these 'new' OP's that I much hated because of the inability to snort and get instant gratification. I decided to take 5 40mg pills at the same time because, fuck it, why not? After waking up in the parking lot of a cupcake shop after nodding out in the 90 degree weather for about 8 hours with a headache that seemed like down right brain damage and a fiance worried sick that I was dead (she knew I was going on a run after the deal), I finally accepted defeat. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Started tapering my prescribed norco's about a week later, went back to AA for 3 weeks right after that (just for a bit of structure on start, didn't want to end up freebasing AA every day ;) ), and haven't touched one since. Go big or go home was always my motto, but opiates won't send you home, they will send your ass 6 feet under in no time. I missed them for the first 2 months but now they repulse me. I can sense that false euphoria and it makes me cringe, plus all the stomach shit, sleeping and plethora of other wonderful side effects, no thanks. Give that one a rest for a few years! Widdled it down to basically adderall with the occassional toke, hit of molly or acid flashback. They have got to make a new class of drugs!
 
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