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whats worse depression or opiate addiction?

itsok

itsok

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2010
Messages
396
Location
nyc suburbs - ugh!!
i used to think opiate addiction was the worst, but after not using for days and getting rid of my physical addiction, i get debilitating depression...no motivation...nothing much to say.

How long will this last if I was using opiates for about 9 years?

im on wellbutrin and amiptrypaline. I have no desire to do anything, but i just started a few weeks ago...

if I go to inpatient rehab, will it even help. I feel empty, confused, and have nothing to say. Even posting this was a chore.
 
focus

in life if we dont focus on somthing we tend to get lost so my advise is idle time is bad for you at this stage
 
Good advice but how do you avoid idle time when nothing seems worth doing?

OP, have you tried speaking to a doctor about this depression? Do you recall being depressed before you started using?
 
I believe that Depression is worse. You can get help for your addiction medically.

Depression is more difficult than everyone make it out to be. No matter how much you go to doctors and counselors, You can be so stuck in that frame of mind, not even medicine can help you pull out of the constant thoughts of how worthless you feel to yourself. It takes more work to handle the depression of the reason you started the addiction for anyway than the drug.

It's not the drug that lures you back, it's that foul ass depression...
 
Inpatient rehab was what worked for me. I didn't use for 6 months and was absolutely miserable. Nothing to fill that void. I relapse and went to treatment where they nurture your physical, mental, and spiritual health. I think everyone should go to treatment. Even if there is no drug problem, its just good for the soul.
 
Since giving up opiates causes depression in alot of people and even opiate use in itself can cause depression it's a kinda cause and effect thing. You can have depression without addiction but there aren't many people i know who are opiate addicts who don't experience depression to some degree.

How long have you been on the wellbutrin and amitriptyline for? Remember these meds can take a few weeks to work so be patient. Wellbutrin usually starts to work within 2 weeks but with amitriptyline it can take longer. So don't expect overnight results and hang in there man. If it gets worse i would advise going back to see your doctor.
 
what you are experiencing is Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, and it is common in opiate users.

I don't want to scare you, but if you were using for 9 years, it will probably take 1-2 years to feel "normal" again.

It sounds like you have convinced yourself that sober and happy is not an option, but trust me, it is.
 
You need to check into an IOP or if you don't have enough money, start going to NA. I don't agree with a lot of the guidelines and lifestyle choices people in NA/AA make but you absolutely need support when you're getting clean after a long stint like yours.

They'll teach you to open up, to acknowledge what's going on inside your head and talk about.

Like the guy above said, PAWS is a son of a bitch but you can make it entirely manageable with a little time and the support of others. Your depression is entirely (almost 100% ) related to your addiction so it's pretty difficult to distinguish between the two at this point.
 
Imo & from people ive seen with depression, I would say depression is far worse. Now some people take opiates because of depression & for the most part, self medication works great for a while but can go drastically wrong if you abuse the meds your self medicating. I will catch flack with what I just wrote.

I know people that self medicate with opiates for depression & have done a damn good job past several years & they are still going strong but it takes self control, you cant abuse the drugs & over do it.

Like I said, I feel depression is worse than an opiate addiction.
 
IMO, since opiate withdrawal includes depression, that is worse. Like someone already said, you can have depression without withdrawal, but not withdrawal without depression. (Generally. This has been my experience and also that of everyone I've ever known going through it.)

Thinking of it in a practical, mathematical way, it's easy to figure that this is true. To map it out for you:
Depression vs. Opiate Addiction

Depression causes overall fluctuating levels of sadness(of course), weight gain/loss, dissociation, lack of pleasurable feelings doing things you love, and more.

Opiate addiction causes depression(meaning all of the above) PLUS many more symptoms, such as RLS("restless leg syndrome", kicking and cramping in the legs, usually makes it impossible to sleep - by far the most annoying symptom in existence), sweating, hot flashes & chills, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, runny nose, watery eyes, sugar cravings, overall muscle aching(wrenching), pain magnification, desperation, and more.

^all symptoms above may or may not be experienced - both of these things are caused by the brain, and everyone is different, so yeah.


Of course it's important to note that people have different levels of both of these. So in some cases people with depression are worse off, and vice-versa.

In general, though, I stand by my initial opinion: Opiate addiction is worse.
 
we shouldn't debate over which one is worse. They both are bad one isn't better than the other but it depends on the person. I am depressed and been before I started using opiates. I feel that the depression is worse (IMO). Opiate addiction can be ended if you want it to be. Yes, it is hard and there will be withdrawals but those symptoms won't last forever. Except depression can't be gotten rid of just because you want it to. Its always there even though you try so hard to get better. I wish I could go cold turkey from depression or taper off of it but I can't. I just hope one day I have another breakthrough and maybe I can be happy again but even if I do I know depression will always be lurking in the background.
 
alwaysblazed said:
we shouldn't debate over which one is worse. They both are bad one isn't better than the other but it depends on the person. I am depressed and been before I started using opiates. I feel that the depression is worse (IMO). Opiate addiction can be ended if you want it to be. Yes, it is hard and there will be withdrawals but those symptoms won't last forever. Except depression can't be gotten rid of just because you want it to. Its always there even though you try so hard to get better. I wish I could go cold turkey from depression or taper off of it but I can't. I just hope one day I have another breakthrough and maybe I can be happy again but even if I do I know depression will always be lurking in the background.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, but addiction is also a mental disease. In that sense, they both stick with you, unfortunately. The only thing anyone can do is get out of the dark places in their head, and try to appreciate life. One day at a time, right? I think it's the same way for mental illness.

I agree, though - as said before, it varies by person. As with most things. :)
 
Yes I know that but the thing is you cannot get clean from depression. Addiction was so much easier to me to fight than depression. Addiction is always around the corner but I can prevent it from coming back... Depression on the other hand comes back without asking.
 
alwaysblazed said:
Yes I know that but the thing is you cannot get clean from depression. Addiction was so much easier to me to fight than depression. Addiction is always around the corner but I can prevent it from coming back... Depression on the other hand comes back without asking.
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Ah yeah this is why I said it varies depending on the specific situation. My girlfriend suffers from depression, and it shines through more than her addictive personality. Of course maybe that's because I live with her and know her on a personal level? Anyway, point being, my opinion is purely logical and is a general opinion. I don't doubt that people such as yourself are any better off with depression rather than addiction. I'm really sorry you have to keep battling with depression, and I hope you can continue to keep it together over time. If you've beaten addiction, then you're obviously a strong person. So just keep it up. & btw, please note that I'm not trying to disrespect you in any way with my opinion. I wish the best for you and I respect your thoughts on the matter.
 
I didnt have depression before starting opiates (I had an episode of being sad before, but not debilitating depression). I don't have a physical addiction opiates, but still chip -- is that like starting from beginning.

I also am developing on the edge of a shitty benzo habit and abuse dissociatives (mxe and k) like once a month.

I tend to run out of all my scripts of adderall, benzos, ambien, early.
I sell my subs. Been on amiltrypmine for like a month and wellbutrin for like a week.

I have gotten kicked out of the last inpatient program and IOP. Don't know if it'll be different this time. I have a place reserved for me for Tuesday.

My parents are thinking of shipping to a Buudhist temple in Asia where it's hot as hell in the summer.

1-2yrs until i'll feel better?...that seems bleak and impossible.
 
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dude, definitely take your parents up on the Buddhist temple thing. That sounds fucking bomb and practicing buddhism helped me establish a pattern of moderation in my drug use, as opposed to doing the same thing you are - running through my scripts in 2 weeks every month, getting depressed and manic, etc...
 
muvolution said:
what you are experiencing is Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, and it is common in opiate users.

I don't want to scare you, but if you were using for 9 years, it will probably take 1-2 years to feel "normal" again.

It sounds like you have convinced yourself that sober and happy is not an option, but trust me, it is.
Click to expand...

People on this forum need to stop playing doctor and understand how horrible and naive it is to make predictions like this.

You are NOT a doctor, you have NO IDEA how long THEIR recovery process will be. Do NOT guess, do NOT use your "expert" opinion, let the OP find out on THEIR OWN terms.

If there is one thing I can not stand its people trying to size out from the length of an opiate habit how long someones PAWs phase will be. They may NOT EVEN GET IT, the might, but you DO NOT KNOW.
I could see the OP of this thread going back to using just for you posting some bs like that. So what does 15 years using opiates = ? 3-4 years of PAWs? I don't care what you think you read on google or where you even got those numbers from but you can NOT predict how someones recovery process will go. And saying shit like that in the position a struggling addict is in is like kicking an addict when they're already down.

Don't say "I was just trying to be honest" because you have no idea what the truth is either way. You were trying to play doctor, and you're going to fuck up a lot of people posting bullshit like that.
ESPECIALLY when an addict is suppose to focus on taking it a day at a time, you couldn't be any more demotivating if you tried.
 
fuck you man. If he didn't want opinions on the matter, he shouldn't have asked.

I never said i was an expert, I never said I was a doctor, and I never said I was right. Any logical person would take my statement as an opinion, not fact, as I never indicated that it was fact and I don't feel the need to categorize all my statements with "In my opinion..." because most people are logical and mature enough to accept it for what it is.

Opiate addiction is hard to beat and if you willingly ignore that you have a long road ahead of you, you have very little chance of beating it. There are treatments and drugs available to help manage Post-Acute-Withdrawal Syndrome, and I think it is completely reasonable to expect it to take at least 12 months to transition from opiate use to replacement therapy, to discontinuation of ORT, to the cessation of PAWS. Obviously it isn't one long stretch of feeling like shit, but even for someone with a 1-2 year habit, it takes a significant amount of time, measured in months and years, to feel normal again.
Add to that the fact that a good majority of people are NEVER able to shake their mental addiction, no matter how much time and distance you put between it and yourself, and anyone withdrawing from a habit like that has a long road ahead of them.

Any addiction counselor or doctor would tell him the same thing.

Moreover, this was the final and most important statement in my post, and I truly can't think of anything more singularly dedicated to harm reduction than this: "It sounds like you have convinced yourself that sober and happy is not an option, but trust me, it is."
 
muvolution said:
what you are experiencing is Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, and it is common in opiate users.

I don't want to scare you, but if you were using for 9 years, it will probably take 1-2 years to feel "normal" again.

It sounds like you have convinced yourself that sober and happy is not an option, but trust me, it is.
Click to expand...

if this dude doesn't realize he has serious problems, he is never, ever, going to get better. If you had read his posts, you would see that he needs serious help.

itsok said:
I also am developing on the edge of a shitty benzo habit and abuse dissociatives (mxe and k) like once a month.

I tend to run out of all my scripts of adderall, benzos, ambien, early.
I sell my subs. Been on amiltrypmine for like a month and wellbutrin for like a week.
Click to expand...
 
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