Is there a CURE for social phobia?

[DroidOpioid]

I could not find a better way to explain how I feel in social situations (about half of them, but in particular, high school) so here is a link:

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/my-way-to-fix-social-phobia-17615/

At school, I'm usually always in state B.

I'm a sophomore in high school, so I want to try as much as I can to cure my problems now before I'm older.

I've tried a lot of drugs. So far, the best is Valerian Root and Adderall. But I've said the same about a lot of other drugs, and tolerance goes up. I NEED A DRUG-FREE SOLUTION.

Unfortunately I don't believe there is one. I don't want to live the rest of my life with this plague! Please someone help me. How can I go from state B to state A like in that link?

I've been like this since about age 11. I don't feel I have a problem with my social skills. It is just I get too self conscious to use them most of the time.

 

[panic in paradise]

interesting,
and very in-depth...

go over these one at a time thoroughly for a week each maybe - or until the nature of the idea becomes, natural for yourself.

going over this with a therapist, writing out a schematic to fallow each step, and second or third routes of thought and plan would be best, i feel.
no one here will be able to coach you through this system except a professional there with you.

many people here though do and have failed, or have had and continue having success with methods, or a train-of-thought that could be useful for yourself.

 

[DroidOpioid]

interesting,
and very in-depth...

go over these one at a time thoroughly for a week each maybe - or until the nature of the idea becomes, natural for yourself.

going over this with a therapist, writing out a schematic to fallow each step, and second or third routes of thought and plan would be best, i feel.
no one here will be able to coach you through this system except a professional there with you.

many people here though do and have failed, or have had and continue having success with methods, or a train-of-thought that could be useful for yourself.

It will be a while before I can see a therapist.

Any tips? I know there aren't professionals on this subject here. But I need SOMETHING to work on. The only catch is, I can't practice it if I'm no 100% sure it will eventually work. So if you give me advice you have to convince me that it will work somewhat if I try it.

 

[Herbal~Jah]

Yeah it's called Benzo's and/or Alcohol.


A substance free solution.... Well, start working out and getting lots of exercise. Exercise can and will increase your confidence and might help... Ummm besides just 'manning up' and solving your confidence issues then drugs are your only solution...

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I would try exercising every day, and eating well balanced meals.

Have you tried therapy before?

 

[DroidOpioid]

I'm in pretty good shape. I go to the gym with friends almost every other day, and I take B-Complex, Magnesium, Zinc, and Omega-3s every day.

I recently gave up milk. I eat candy only 2 or 3 times a month, and I drink several glasses of water every day.

I've never tried therapy before. I tried to get a therapist, once, but my grandparents misunderstood me and I got a psychiatrist instead. So yeah. I'm going to try again though.

To the one who said, "man up", you clearly don't have a clue as to what the problem is. If it was a simple fear, like sky-diving, then I could just muster up the courage and DO IT. With social phobia, it isn't so clear-cut exactly what you are even afraid of. And so far, 90% of my various original attempts have backfired or just didn't work. I don't even trust myself to find a solution.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Yeah it's called Benzo's and/or Alcohol.

A substance free solution.... Well, start working out and getting lots of exercise. Exercise can and will increase your confidence and might help... Ummm besides just 'manning up' and solving your confidence issues then drugs are your only solution...

Could you please be a little bit more careful and sensitive with the information you post in threads like this in The Dark Side? Especially when the OP has specified that they want a drug-free solution. This forum is for serious discussion of people's psychological issues and we are very cautious about the advice we give out to people in here. Thank you

Benzos should be viewed as a last resort option for people who cannot function at all in their daily life due to crippling anxiety. They have a very high tolerance/addiction potential and should NOT be sought out as a treatment option unless all other avenues have been attempted e.g. therapy, herbal supplements etc.

Alcohol can actually exacerbate anxiety quite severely, not so much when the person is actually drunk, but during the hangover and over time one's anxiety can get much much worse.

Not to mention that mixing benzos and alcohol is extremely reckless suggestion as it is a very dangerous combination.

Just think twice before you post stuff like this in the future okay? Thank you


DroidOpioid I would strongly suggest that you give therapy a try. For social anxiety, therapy is one of the most, if not the most successful treatment option. Perhaps start with seeing you GP and explaining the situation, and ask if they know of a social anxiety/general anxiety specialist therapist, and get a referral.

Good luck, and keep us updated if you like

 

[schwiftee]

a couple quick things. remember everyone is way into themselves so they're not focusing on you as nearly as much as you may think.

benzos are a quick fix and a short one. you build up a tolerence quickly and imo they are really bad for this except in few cases.

pratice breathing exercises during stressful times if you can. put you hand on your stomach and feel your breath go in and out. that will releive any physical symtoms your having - its hard for your heart rate, bp, etc to be off if your breathing right.

good luck

 

[n3ophy7e]

pratice breathing exercises during stressful times if you can. put you hand on your stomach and feel your breath go in and out. that will releive any physical symtoms your having - its hard for your heart rate, bp, etc to be off if your breathing right.

Excellent advice, thank you

 

[DroidOpioid]

Thanks.

I have had a couple benzo presciptions before, namely valium and then klonopin, neither worked for my anxiety. Just made me feel emotionally numb, I was 'out of it' and even when I took recreational doses it wasn't fun except for the first couple times. Then I just gave them all away.

Oh, and I can't forget the amnesia. Haha.

Adderall, turns out, makes my anxiety worse. It erased it for the first week and a half (5mg) and really got my euphoric, but now, even though I haven't felt depressed since I started the script, it makes me super super self conscious. I wanna jump out of my skin when I take it now!

So I cut the dose in half (to 2.5mg) and it still sucks. Amazing. Seeing how much I liked it when I started, I never would have imagined intentionally lowering my dose.

Anyways, I'm taking Valerian Root with it now. In a few days, once I get some advice I feel I can apply, I'm gonna try a day drug free (not even valerian) and see how it goes.
More advice, please?

 

[n3ophy7e]

Adderall, turns out, makes my anxiety worse.

This doesn't surprise me at all, seeing as it's a stimulant. Why are you prescribed the Adderall? (you don't have to answer that if you're not comfortable doing so, of course)

I'd be interested to hear how you go without the Adderall when you try not taking it for a day. There's no real harm in taking the valerian on that day because it is well known for its calming properties, but of course it's up to you

 

[schwiftee]

^ that

and what's your caffeine intake like?

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm in pretty good shape. I go to the gym with friends almost every other day, and I take B-Complex, Magnesium, Zinc, and Omega-3s every day.

I recently gave up milk. I eat candy only 2 or 3 times a month, and I drink several glasses of water every day.

I've never tried therapy before. I tried to get a therapist, once, but my grandparents misunderstood me and I got a psychiatrist instead. So yeah. I'm going to try again though.

To the one who said, "man up", you clearly don't have a clue as to what the problem is. If it was a simple fear, like sky-diving, then I could just muster up the courage and DO IT. With social phobia, it isn't so clear-cut exactly what you are even afraid of. And so far, 90% of my various original attempts have backfired or just didn't work. I don't even trust myself to find a solution.

Why give up milk? I'm just curious.

Are you able to exercise every day? There can be a large difference by increasing the frequency.

At the same time you don't want to over do it - so I'm glad you are at least exercising.

Do you know other people in real life with a similar problem, someone who may be able to connect to you about this? Not everyone can be as understanding as someone going through the same thing/a similar thing as you are.

 

[schwiftee]

^ milk way not be such a good thing for most people. and unless your getting it raw its denatured so why bother drinking it unless you really love it.

 

[CBRworm]

Confidence is key. Realizing that many other people are also not confident and are just pretending to be confident can help. The truth is that there are many things that can help a little bit, but you may have to accept that this is the way you are and learn that you will be accepted this way and can be successful. There are many different personality types, that is how our society can work. Everyone can't be type A.

I have gone through years of Klonopin, Xanax, adderal, caffeine, etc to try to become outgoing and confident - it is all temporary.

I am adult ADHD and have major social anxiety. In my job I have to do presentations to rooms full of strangers (occasionally). I try to deal with it on a day to day basis and have just accepted that I will never be that guy.

Exercise helps. Thinking less would help too...

 

[Bojangles69]

Yes theres a "cure", just that the cure is not the same for every person.

For some people the phobia is rooted more in their biology, for others in their psychology. So its always going to require some type of mix of meds and therapy/education/awareness.

But in the end what I find is most people prefer "dealing" with social phobia by swallowing as many pills as they can. And before they know it they have even less in common with people due to the many addictions they develop... which just makes the problem worse and worse.

I was a member and leader of the seduction community in my state for 4 years. I also have my degree in psych. I'm not a doctor but can tell you with high confidence that MANY of the guys who use to come into the rooms were socially phobic in one respect or another.
And 99% of the guys who stayed in the community wound up curing themselves. This is because the seduction community throws/forces men into akward social situations on purpose. The more akward and uncomfortable a guru can make an interaction with his student (between the student and target/woman) the less phobic the student evolves.

I use to get told years ago "go approach that girl [who would be completely and obviously out of my league] and tell her her hair is ugly [or basically do anything to offend her], but then your goal is to redeem yourself and make her like you afterwards". At other times we'd have to embarass ourselves in the worst ways imagineable. Like put a dildo on our 4heads, dress like a woman, and walk around the mall for a few hours starting conversations with people. I'm talking some of the worst social scenarios you could think of.
Month after month we'd practice shit like this (among many other things) and before I knew it I had went from a shakey, shy, social retard to someone who was completely desensitized to the worst situations you could imagine. Anytime things got weird or uncomfortable I remained cool and composed because my imagined fears now could never trump my reality. Its the socal calibration and versatility after a while that actually seduces people.

Anyway, I mentioned meds sometimes being important but I think at least 70-80% of the time a strong and relentless system of systematic desensitization will do the trick. For some people it takes years of exposure, for others only a few months. But one thing I can say for sure is after the seduction community that entire emotional fear of social situations was slaughtered to death. And this was after 6 failed years of therapy sitting in a room talking to a therapist not facing a single one of the triggers that caused my phobia. Like sitting in a room and ruminating over them might actually have helped (wtf). Other people need to address adrenaline problems with beta blockers, some people respond to ssris and therapy, others respond to opiates then become drug addicts and become even shyer than before in an even worse situation. But I will continue to preach that no single force is as useful or effective for social phobia as repeated exposure to the triggers that cause the phobia.
Just think of how your skin deals with the intense summer heat. Its the same thing. Repeated exposure to a stressor makes our skin tan, then the sun ceases to effect it like it did. Or the fear of driving a car when we're 17. Day after day we get in the car w/out thinking about it, and one day the fear just dissappears. Or the fear of getting rejected by the opposite sex. It can destroy some people the first time it happens, but for most after repeated exposure we keep getting stronger and stronger. The evidence and logic is everywhere imo. If you're socially phobic, coping by avoidance is one of the main ways to perpetuate that phobia. Exposure will destroy it.

 

[ferinox]

Yeah it's called Benzo's and/or Alcohol.


A substance free solution.... Well, start working out and getting lots of exercise. Exercise can and will increase your confidence and might help... Ummm besides just 'manning up' and solving your confidence issues then drugs are your only solution...

I'm extremely astonished that nobody except the OP has said anything about "manning up." It's extremely insulting, ignorant, and demonstrates a complete lack of empathy for somebody asking for help. Studies have proven that numerous neurochemical deficiencies underlie social phobia. It's not something that is simple to overcome.

As a social phobia sufferer, I can say that benzos and alcohol barely even touch the anxiety I feel. I hope you were just joking. Nardil has had stellar succcess rates in treating social phobia. Good luck getting a doctor to prescribe it though. Even after viewing my massive medication history, they still balk at prescribing it. I'm 100% willing to follow the restrictions but I guess they don't believe me.

The OP is more of a man than you'll ever be facing unthinkable challenges on a daily basis. I sincerely wish you could experience it yourself for a month. I believe you would have a very different take on the situation.

 

[schwiftee]

^ I'm speaking from experience.

and I do not know what the underlying cause of social phobia. It may or may not be what you speak of but the big pharms don't know either. I think its both healthly and helpful to explore other options.

there are also numerous studies to the contrary

 

[panic in paradise]

~ there is no need for harsh words here, please consider the subject...

 

[ferinox]

^ I'm speaking from experience.

and I do not know what the underlying cause of social phobia. It may or may not be what you speak of but the big pharms don't know either. I think its both healthly and helpful to explore other options.

there are also numerous studies to the contrary

I was angry at the poster that said to man up so I didn't fully think about the reply I was making. I think therapy should be explored before medication. There are some people that will never ever feel alright without chemical helpers however. It's seems arrogant to assume that there is nobody out there who has fear centers so overactive in their brain that they can't help themselves. There are problems with the body all the time and pharmaceuticals can help those conditions. Maybe the pharmaceutical companies are in it for the money but there are meds that truly help people. The brain isn't immune to massive inherent problems.