Shambles
Bluelight Crew
As prompted by a combination of old age and Bluebell...
Some may have noticed I whinge a lot about gettin' on a bit now. Was 35 last bidet which is the traditional halfway point of life and have really started to notice changes. Some good, most not so good. Will display them in list form...
They say you get more comfortable in your skin as it begins to pool around your ankles year on year. This totally took me by surprise by being true. Those long, long, very long years of teen-angst and of twenties-hedonism are now settling into thirties-easy living. Most of the foolishness that seemed so very important before is now revealed for the innate stupidity it really is. Who gives a fuck about what people whose opinions mean nothing to you think about your minor quirks, foibles and faux pas ? Not me. Not no more. Not no way. Not no how. This is a great relief and probably the best thing about getting old. Can only get better too, I suspect.
Never even noticed it until I hit thirty. Now I have one rogue nostril hair that extends horizontally. Just one. But straight out like a ruler and needs regular plucking whenever it reaches sufficient length to get a grip on. It's not the end of the world but I could certainly live very happily without it. Other minor hair quibbles include three crinkly pube-like ones 'pon each nipple which also need plucking when viable. Also a few stray grey pubes when I'm too lazy to keep nicely clean shaven like a good boy should.
Middle-Age Spreadage
Was always tending toward the chubby but the podge gets podgier by the year now. Always had a barrel chest and a damn fine set of breasticles (a nice and perky B cup that many a woman my age would be proud of have been my constant companions no matter what size I happen to be at the time from puberty onwards) but always had a somewhat concave belly. Flabby even when I sported the heroin chic look and me 30" waist trousers hung off me child-bearing hips like they were but a coat-hanger. But always somewhat caved-in looking. Now that belly bulges somewhat and peeks out into the shadow of me baps in the noonday sun. Not exactly pretty but actually rather pleasing to the touch if I do say so meself.
Excess Intestinal Gasses
This is the one I dislike most. I now seem to fart like a trooper when not in company. Thankfully my anus remains tight enough to keep it in when others are present despite many years of squirting drugs up it and the occasional forays into the wonderful world of prostate massage. Anal seepage is fortunately not yet a problem but I hear becomes more of an issue as you draw ever closer to the nursing home and nappy time all-round again. But the gaseous emissions most definitely are a problem. Like chemical warfare in here some days. I live in fear of the Geneva Convention. Never known so much gas to be emitted from such a comact area. Fuck knows where it's all stored before release. Perhaps it is related to the above issue of spreadage.
These are the main notices I have to put on the table for now. So fellow geezer/ettes - and those lazy young scamps who are still lagging behind - what say you on the matter of wrinkydom present, wrinklydom past and wrinklydom to come? Are my small pleasures and minor bugbears mine and mine alone or is it a shared experience? Hopefully the noxious cloud one will not be a shared experience cos passers-by could be rendered unconscious if we set each other off in a built up area. Think WWI trench life. Not a pretty picture so feel free to raise the tone above the waistband.
Some may have noticed I whinge a lot about gettin' on a bit now. Was 35 last bidet which is the traditional halfway point of life and have really started to notice changes. Some good, most not so good. Will display them in list form...
Good Things:
ComfortThey say you get more comfortable in your skin as it begins to pool around your ankles year on year. This totally took me by surprise by being true. Those long, long, very long years of teen-angst and of twenties-hedonism are now settling into thirties-easy living. Most of the foolishness that seemed so very important before is now revealed for the innate stupidity it really is. Who gives a fuck about what people whose opinions mean nothing to you think about your minor quirks, foibles and faux pas ? Not me. Not no more. Not no way. Not no how. This is a great relief and probably the best thing about getting old. Can only get better too, I suspect.
Bad Things:
Nasal HairNever even noticed it until I hit thirty. Now I have one rogue nostril hair that extends horizontally. Just one. But straight out like a ruler and needs regular plucking whenever it reaches sufficient length to get a grip on. It's not the end of the world but I could certainly live very happily without it. Other minor hair quibbles include three crinkly pube-like ones 'pon each nipple which also need plucking when viable. Also a few stray grey pubes when I'm too lazy to keep nicely clean shaven like a good boy should.
Middle-Age Spreadage
Was always tending toward the chubby but the podge gets podgier by the year now. Always had a barrel chest and a damn fine set of breasticles (a nice and perky B cup that many a woman my age would be proud of have been my constant companions no matter what size I happen to be at the time from puberty onwards) but always had a somewhat concave belly. Flabby even when I sported the heroin chic look and me 30" waist trousers hung off me child-bearing hips like they were but a coat-hanger. But always somewhat caved-in looking. Now that belly bulges somewhat and peeks out into the shadow of me baps in the noonday sun. Not exactly pretty but actually rather pleasing to the touch if I do say so meself.
Excess Intestinal Gasses
This is the one I dislike most. I now seem to fart like a trooper when not in company. Thankfully my anus remains tight enough to keep it in when others are present despite many years of squirting drugs up it and the occasional forays into the wonderful world of prostate massage. Anal seepage is fortunately not yet a problem but I hear becomes more of an issue as you draw ever closer to the nursing home and nappy time all-round again. But the gaseous emissions most definitely are a problem. Like chemical warfare in here some days. I live in fear of the Geneva Convention. Never known so much gas to be emitted from such a comact area. Fuck knows where it's all stored before release. Perhaps it is related to the above issue of spreadage.
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These are the main notices I have to put on the table for now. So fellow geezer/ettes - and those lazy young scamps who are still lagging behind - what say you on the matter of wrinkydom present, wrinklydom past and wrinklydom to come? Are my small pleasures and minor bugbears mine and mine alone or is it a shared experience? Hopefully the noxious cloud one will not be a shared experience cos passers-by could be rendered unconscious if we set each other off in a built up area. Think WWI trench life. Not a pretty picture so feel free to raise the tone above the waistband.
"You learn something new..."![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
