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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Anyone else feel lame when having stim induced wank marathons?

H

Harambulus

Greenlighter
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Jul 23, 2009
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Wankers Anonymous: Anyone else feel lame when having stim induced wank marathons?

I have now done 'marathons' both when not seeing a girl (most times :D) and when seeing a girl.

I felt most lame when I hadn't had a fucked in a while or worst when I was still a virgin.

I love how stimulants 'fill that hole' (no pun intended) but it pisses me off how they make it so I MUST wank such that afterwards it reminds me of my lameness and being pussyfree.

I do recall though that when taking meph a wank was an EVENT in and of itself! Like some wholesome artform which I was priveleged to be privy to. It felt like the girls were really enjoying their performances and were indeed pleased that I am appreciating their show. Same with most stims prob but I remember it esp clearly with meph.

I don't think it felt so wholesome with speed more a primal frustrating urge that must be quelled yet usually with futile results until that post 4 hour+ 'sexwee'. Those times I felt most like shit having cranked it for up to 11 hours I recall and just being a pool of sweat and disgrace.

It's like after the wank it reminded me I probably only took the drug in the first place as a 'bandaid'. I'm good with escapism as a 'reset' swtich to release tension but that holding my aloneness in such stark relief is what pisses me off most about such situations.

I mean I feel quite happy and content buzzing alone until post climax.

I don't mind taking a drug to escape the mundane but I find it very rude of said substance if it insists on telling me what a loser I am during the 'trip'.

So yeah, when I was seeing a girl I would take meph and even if I had a wank then I wouldn't feel lame cos I knew I had that 'handled' at that moment, even if the girl wasn't the ideal I didn't feel so lame.

Anyone else get this?

Anyway even though I have been getting cravings for a good stim blast I am trying to make a pact with myself not to do it until I get laid again to avoid that empty feeling. As it goes (naturally) I feel more fulfilled when seeing a girl and I want stims the most when I am not with them to cover that up so maybe if I can hold out it will be good long term for my 'growing process' such that I won't be so dependent on stims if I can resist the urge this time (and in future if I choose).

I do still find something unique in the act itself about pure selfish hedonism taking drugs all to myself in solitude though (which is why I loved the coke experience for a time racking lines to myself at 8 am in the morn without another care in the world). I think I appreciate it all the more when I have other areas 'in check' so they don't 'sour' the buzz. I know, much more than when I used to be a sea of paranoia and insecurity when I was younger, I enjoy buzzing more now even though I do it less these days.
 
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I feel incredibly fucking stupid after amphetamine fueled porno sessions. Immediately post-climax, the same thought always goes through my head: "WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?" Afterward it just seems like a waste of a LARGE chunk of time and perfectly good stimulants that I could have used to actually get work done.
 
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i did this once on mephedrone but will never do it again. it does make you feel a loser. best thing is crack one off right before you do the drugs.
 
Not as much fun as with a girl, but I'm a clinically diagnosed sociopath. I don't feel guilty about nothing.
 
Morphoid said:
How did you come by your diagnosis?
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LOL, I got sent to this drug class that had a psychiatrist or psychologist (I don't remember) and that's what she said. IDK if it's actually true or not. But we spent our sessions discussing shit like the north korean nuclear program because I'm supposed to be untreatable. I'm not like a serial killer or anything, I';d like to think I'm a pretty nice guy actually, but i really don't feel guilty about anything. Whether that's because I'm fucked up or because i haven't done anything to bad IDK. But I don't feel bad over jerking off, I got over that when I was like 12.
 
fryingsquirrel said:
LOL, I got sent to this drug class that had a psychiatrist or psychologist (I don't remember) and that's what she said. IDK if it's actually true or not. But we spent our sessions discussing shit like the north korean nuclear program because I'm supposed to be untreatable. I'm not like a serial killer or anything, I';d like to think I'm a pretty nice guy actually, but i really don't feel guilty about anything. Whether that's because I'm fucked up or because i haven't done anything to bad IDK. But I don't feel bad over jerking off, I got over that when I was like 12.
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I know a guy that doesnt feel any guilt no matter what. He has some weird ass fantasies about women & he kicks his cat around like its a ball. I took his cat from him one night & took it to the spca, he thought it ran away. The guy says shit that scares women, they call him "the creeper".

As far as wanking when on stims, it feels better actually when coming down off the stims. Sex with a pretty chick feels amazing on stims, but I rather still do opiates when having sex.
 
Yes this happens on 3 substances for me.......coke, meph, and mdpv. PV is the worst in this regard.......my girl and I would have to go in seperate rooms to get off on watching porno on the computation machines......I like to do the old in/out with my girl when we are sober and lovey.
 
I don't give a fuck at all after I masturbate. Fuck, why should I? Porno is great to jack off to, with or without somebody else. Why should I feel guilty? I don't care what anybody says on here (because people lie about this) I'm sure most people jerk off at least 3 times a week when they don't have a girl. Do you feel guilty each time you do? WTF, we're only human.
 
K'd-OUT-in-AZ said:
I don't give a fuck at all after I masturbate. Fuck, why should I? Porno is great to jack off to, with or without somebody else. Why should I feel guilty? I don't care what anybody says on here (because people lie about this) I'm sure most people jerk off at least 3 times a week when they don't have a girl. Do you feel guilty each time you do? WTF, we're only human.
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LMAO........I once went w/o masturbating one full year & I told my friends this & they didnt believe me & that was when I didnt have a girlfriend. It mind over matter & you cant control yourself, it takes alot of discipline & self control & I believe its a ying & yang about the whole thing where you can store all the energy inside & let it go into another form instead of always masturbating.

I have a girlfriend now & she gets pissed if I masturbate, LoL! It does seem that people do feel guilty after masturbating & that could come from a religious up bringing or maybe you were told as a child that its a sin & so on.
 
Lol, it's not that I feel shameful cos god will punish me or anything like that.

It's more I feel ashamed with myself I wasted my time like someone else said.

I find it can ruin the high in some senses cos I could have been enjoying some good music or a film or just staring at the ceiling contemplating life but instead I am beating the meat like a rabid old codger.

I actually tried shagging when on meph and that was shit too cos I couldn't get hard but I think that was partly to do with not being that attracted to the girl I was seeing :D.

Sex is good enough anyway I don't feel anything has to be added in that regard. I wouldn't seek out sex and drugs (though I'm glad I did that once to try with meph) except if it 'came up' (pun unintended) then sure I'm down.

On a tangent I had a funny idea the other day. I wondered what it would be like if like the social gathering bluelight has there was one for the horny wankers out there to meet for an orgy. I perished the thought quickly after when I imagined it would only be guys there and a few crusty middle aged women (with all due respect lols).

Yea I would like to be able to get rid of the horniness on stims if I chose. I think smoking weed did it when I would do coke if I recall correctly, but it was like 5 years ago so I only have a vague recollection there though it is a priority experiment to do on my list in this area once I can find some good coke.

Like I say it was a TREAT having a good wank session on meph- like a real celebration of life, I almost thought to myself as I was peaking, I am really privileged to be able to partake in this! lol- but at the same time, rather than it being so pervasive, I'd like to be able to choose to enjoy the high other ways should I want. I don't think I felt AS seedy with meph because I think climax was easier than on speed so I could crack one off in a couple of hours maybe even within the hour if I concentrated hard (record time compared to the speed wank campaigns).

Yea it's a real nuisance though cos I love contemplating stuff (the 'headhigh' being one of my fav. parts to stims feeling in control and all that) and with stims that is all amped up so I feel like I could solve quantum mechanics or something were it not for the baser urges thwarting my good cerebral appreciation. The baser urges are great in their own right though granted but I gotta please god y'know. I guess this is a TIME MANAGEMENT issue :D. I would like to ration it equally between blinding (literally- I thought I died after one speed wank- I blacked out/lost consciousness for about 20 seconds I think -watching beladonna's anal shenanigans- and laid in a stupor for another 20 mins cock in hand) wanks and whatever else.
 
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Yeah opiates and sex are like........why bother? On good opiates pretty much anything other than laying on the couch watching movies and napping is like......whatever nevermind :) Video killed the radiostar and opiates kill the sex drive of a 20 something male in good health.
 
TheLostBoys said:
I know a guy that doesnt feel any guilt no matter what. He has some weird ass fantasies about women & he kicks his cat around like its a ball. I took his cat from him one night & took it to the spca, he thought it ran away. The guy says shit that scares women, they call him "the creeper".

As far as wanking when on stims, it feels better actually when coming down off the stims. Sex with a pretty chick feels amazing on stims, but I rather still do opiates when having sex.
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IDK I got this weird thing with cats, I love the the stupid fuckers. I have a bunch of them and i'm sorta weird that way.
 
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