Negative ecstasy side effects, i need help with this one

[Eyes On the Roll]

Ok, I didn't want to have to go and make a whole thread about this, but i've been searching and searching and can't find out what i'm experiencing anywhere. I tried asking people in another thread about ecstasy side effects, but no one answered me so i have no choice but to start a thread, i really want to find out what this is.

Ok some background information, I started rolling almost exactly a year ago, usually once a month, but when my GF cheated on me i started rolling multiple times in a week, sometimes as much as 3 days in a row. When summer came around i didn't touch X for almost 2 months, then i started using again, only once a month though, but for only 3 months. In the past 2 months i started using X like i never have before.. cause of more pain with the X. My MDMA use the past 2 months escalated to the last week of december, where i was on X ever single day, and some days before new years i even rolled for about 30+ hours non stop on molly. I think i went through almost 3 grams of molly to myself in 3 or more days...

Anyways, I realized how bad i was abusing this wonderful drug.. and decided right then and there to stop. It's been almost 10 days since i have rolled, and I've been taking plenty multivitamins, and 5HTP almost every day. I haven't had any depression or anxiety since i started the 5HTP. I have however, noticed a decrease in my cognitive abilities. Now here is my first question: Will my short term memory loss ever go away? will my memory ever be restored? will my cognitive functions ever be as sharp as they once were?

Also, the big side effect that i can't put my finger on. This has happened quite a few times since i started using MDMA a year ago. And this always happens during my sleep, i will try to describe it as best as i can. I will be sleeping normally, haven't used any MDMA within the week, when I abrubtly wake up and jump off my bed immediately, in a state of utter and imense terror.

When I immediately wake up like this, i always stand up right away, the second i wake up, and i can't think. Thoughts just don't go through my head, I'm confused. The only thing going through my head is this feeling of immense and terrible terror/panic. I will immediately start pacing around the house quickly, looking around, trying to gather some sort of thought as to what's going on. I can't think rationally, can't even think of who I am, I don't have a normal thought process. I keep pacing rapidly through the house in a state a sheer terror/panic, which doesn't seem to go away. Eventually i will rush into my room and sit on my bed, and then i fall asleep as quickly as i woke up, only to wake up in the morning to question what the fuck had happened.

These episodes usually last around 5 minutes, maybe longer i'm not sure. I've only had a handfull of these episodes, with my last one occuring dec. 29th, and is the episode i described above. I don't think i've had one of these episodes before my X use.. but i may be wrong.

Has ANYONE heard of anything like this at all? I don't know how to describe these episodes to anyone I know, let alone my doctor. Maybe there is a term for this, that i just don't know. But please, help me find out what it is exactly that i'm experiencing, thank you

 

[Lolie]

If it's only 10 days since you last rolled and you were rolling frequently, you body hasn't had the chance to replenish the neurotransmitters you depleted yet.

Give it at least a month before you start worrying about longterm damage.

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

i need help on figuring out what these episodes i experience at night are. Not sure if its some sort of psychosis, or what. or if it's a common side effect after X use. Just wondering if anyone has heard of this or gone through it themselves

 

[Legerity]

If you believe that this was caused by your MDMA use, then you'll need to give yourself more time to recover, as Lolie said. In my opinion, MDMA is not really understood at this point and long-term neurotoxicity in humans is still questionnable. So try not to worry too much and let yourself rest.

The only similar experience I've had in the past with MDMA was getting the brain shocks when I would lay down, it would be like electricity going straight into my brain and I would sit straight up in bed because it was so sudden. It was more of a physical sensation than a panic, but your description reminded me of it. I've experienced this the day of and the day after heavy use.

 

[Lolie]

i need help on figuring out what these episodes i experience at night are. Not sure if its some sort of psychosis, or what. or if it's a common side effect after X use. Just wondering if anyone has heard of this or gone through it themselves

Sounds a lot like night terrors. It's possible that the neurotransmitters which regulate your sleep cycle are all out of whack due to the MDMA binge. Make sure you're eating properly as there seems to be some link between low blood sugar and adult night terrors. Being over-tired can also cause night terrors, so try to make sure you don't let yourself get over-tired before going to bed.

They can be treated with antidepressants but I'd wait and see if they persist first.

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

I'm really not too worried about cognitive functions being diminished, because I really seem to be doing fine, apart from short term memory loss, but i've always had kind of a bad memory. Also, I have zero depression, maybe that's because of the 5HTP, and zero anxiety.

It's just this state of mindless panic that I sometimes wake up too that scares me. I'm bipolar, and these brief episodes are scaring me. I swear it's the most intense feeling of fear/terror/panic. I remember when i had one of these episodes that i woke up to at night, i was in the same intense panic mind state, not being able to think anything else, and i was smashing my head into the pillows repeatedly, then i'd get up and pace really quick, then my episode was over..

I'm kiond of scared that maybe this is a psychosis or something.. and that this could be schizophrenia emerging, or some other mental condition.

 

[Lolie]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror

Are you taking any maintenance meds for your bipolar disorder?

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

also, it might be useful that I mention, that since i've stopped taking MDMA i have been experienceing a lot of sleep paralysis, maybe the two side effects are connected. I know serotonin is related to sleep somehow..
During sleep paralysis, when i fall asleep my body shuts down and my mind is awake, and i'm completely paralysed and can't even yell out for help, this happened several times in the car ride to West virginia last week, i'd try to yell out but couldn't was completely paralyzed.

But these episodes of terror/panic are compeltely different. I'm 100% awake, but in a mindstate of sheer terror, the terror is so extreme that i can't think of anything else, and i always get up and run around or pace really fast waiting for it to go away. It;s so hard to describe

Not taking any meds for bipolar disorder. Stopped taking them in 10th grade highschool, i'm 20 now a sophmore in college. I do fine without the meds, but I am very aware that I still experience full on bipolar, but it's not really a problem, during long episodes of mania it's really a blessing. I do take adderall that was prescribed to me.. 20mg IR's twice daily for school, i'll admit that when i first got the script 3 months ago i did abuse them quite a bit, and still do from time to time when i want to get a lot of shit done.
I need the adderall for when i am deep in a phase of mania, i become so manic and hyper that my thoughts race, and it is hard to focus on one thing, so the adderall helps me gather my thoughts and focus. during a depression phase the adderall also helps me focus since difficulty focusing is a common side effect to depression. it also gives me motivation, and a more positive mind state

 

[StrutterGear]

I also felt I lose 'intelligence' when I started rolling. I don't believe I'll ever get it back; I used to be able to knock off an essay in an hour and get an A/B, now I have to do it all day.

Short term memory also fucked, but recovering.

All this and I've only rolled 6-7 times, some a year apart.

I've also been having nightmares near enough every day for a month. They only seem to not happen when I don't go to sleep for ages, so I sorta just drop asleep.

Very irritating, the girlfriend gets the odd kick in the night and gets scared if my breathing goes a bit mad.

Good luck to you mate.

 

[Lolie]

Sleep paralysis and night terrors are related, so it definitely sounds like your sleep cycle is out of whack. If they continue, get a sleep study done - but give your body a chance to heal itself first.

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

Sleep paralysis and night terrors are related, so it definitely sounds like your sleep cycle is out of whack. If they continue, get a sleep study done - but give your body a chance to heal itself first.

thanks you've been a lot of help. Both the things together deffinately make sense, but i looked up night terrors on wiki and it said that people that experience night terrors do so when they are still unconscious, when i experience these terrors i am fully conscious, maybe you can help clarify night terrors better in relation to my episodes?

also, can anyone else conclude that these 2 issues could because from the mdma abuse, from the depletion of serotonin? on the back of my 5HTP bottle, it says that serotonin not only effects appetite, emotions, behavior, and thought, but also affects sleep.

 

[Lolie]

thanks you've been a lot of help. Both the things together deffinately make sense, but i looked up night terrors on wiki and it said that people that experience night terrors do so when they are still unconscious, when i experience these terrors i am fully conscious, maybe you can help clarify night terrors better in relation to my episodes?

also, can anyone else conclude that these 2 issues could because from the mdma abuse, from the depletion of serotonin? on the back of my 5HTP bottle, it says that serotonin not only effects appetite, emotions, behavior, and thought, but also affects sleep.

They're not unconscious in the conventional sense, it's more that their brain doesn't really process stuff. My son had night terrors as a child and he'd walk from one end of the house to the other turning on lights with a look of horror on his face but be unresponsive to touch, talking to him, etc. He'd then walk back turning off the lights and get into bed and fall back asleep just as suddenly as he'd "woken". He had no real recollection in the morning.

You said that thoughts don't go through your head - which suggests that you're not fully conscious and that they stop as suddenly as they start.

Is it related to your MDMA abuse? Maybe. Something has disregulated your sleep cycle but it would take a proper sleep study to see what's going on with your brain waves and whether your going through all the stages of sleep in the proper order and for sufficient periods of time. I'd wait a couple of weeks and see whether things improve as your brain replaces its chemical soup.

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

They're not unconscious in the conventional sense, it's more that their brain doesn't really process stuff. My son had night terrors as a child and he'd walk from one end of the house to the other turning on lights with a look of horror on his face but be unresponsive to touch, talking to him, etc. He'd then walk back turning off the lights and get into bed and fall back asleep just as suddenly as he'd "woken". He had no real recollection in the morning.

You said that thoughts don't go through your head - which suggests that you're not fully conscious and that they stop as suddenly as they start.

Is it related to your MDMA abuse? Maybe. Something has disregulated your sleep cycle but it would take a proper sleep study to see what's going on with your brain waves and whether your going through all the stages of sleep in the proper order and for sufficient periods of time. I'd wait a couple of weeks and see whether things improve as your brain replaces its chemical soup.

oh my fucking god. that is EXACTLY what i experience. And yes, i gueIss in a sense i am not fully conscious, because i really can't process any thoughts. I just pace through the house quickly, looking around, in supreme terror, not being able to think. No thought enters my mind, nothing passes the feeling of pure terror.
As i can recall, i had an episode one time where i awoke in my bed, i was laying down, and my TV was playing. I was in this mental state of sheer terror, not being able to think. Someone on TV was looking at me and was talking to me, the face looked really evil and scary, and all i could feel was extreme fear and panic. didn't even remember falling back asleep.

I think that i will have these night terrors even if i didn't take MDMA, but since sleep is linked to serotonin, and heavy MDMA use isn't good for serotonin, it has probobly deffinately enabled these night terrors.
Damn, thanks for helping me figure out what that was, i never thought i'd be able to figure it out

 

[Lolie]

We aim to please. Sometimes it helps just to be able to put a name to a problem. Forgot to mention that my son's eyes would be open when all this happened but not really seeing.

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

yes it does, and realizing that what i've been experiencing is night terrors has made me realize so many things. I remembered that i would often get night terrors as a young kid, but they would be more dream like, and i would be doing the same thing pacing through the house in terror. My step mom would always be in the living room folding clothese or something, and she would see me and take me back to bed. WOW. i guess mdma really has messed with my memory a bit. I should have been able to peice these things together. But now it all makes sense, I've been getting these night terrors since i was a little kid, and haven't had them since i was really young until recently. I wonder what the reamergance of these night terrors could mean for my mental health.
Looking back, i think i had about a 10 year gap between having night terrors as a kid and of having them now as an adult. I deffinately think that MDMA has been enabling these recent terrors, since it heavily exhausts serotonin reserves, and since sleep is thought to be connected with serotonin... also the sleep paralysis...

Wow, so many things just clicked and made sense in my head

 

[OmgitsOP]

''Its never too late to be who you might have been"
Everything returns to normal, its just a matter of time. Some things take longer, significantly longer than others.... I'd say your memory will be back to 90% or better within 6-9 months. (For me it was closer to 9...) But it is WELL worth the wait.
I share the same issues as you... I am classified as a manic depressive, a bi-polar and a schizophrenic.
I have the same problems as you as well... But i do not stand up, i'm not capable of it. What happens for me is that after a horrific dream, like watching a close friend get murdered, or getting stabbed to death in my own dream. I awake, eyes open wider than any other instance in my life. And i begin to wonder, why hasn't the man in my closet murdered me yet? Howcome the sniper in the backyard hasn't taken the shot yet?
It's because they are not real, neither is my fear. I have no idea why it happens, or what triggers it to happen. All i know is that once i regain control of anything i focus all my energy on that, kinda like in kill bill wit the whole wiggle ya toe scene. If the first thing to come back is my hand i'll just keep it moving, fingers open and at the ready! And once i have gotten past the physical barriers, i can begin to rationalize the situation and make it loook normal to myself. I actually just came up with a possible reason as to why that situation plays itself out the way it does, with slightly different choices depending on the person... But i believe that it is ALL about waking up the person at the right time... When you are woken up in the deepest part of your sleep your brain is completely somewhere else and it is being forced into another situation, so because of our primative pasts, i believe that you and I are in some sort of defense mode, where were hypersensitive to any situation that exists in our presence because we do not realize that the dream is what woke us, instead we spend the next 5 minutes or so trying to identify the foreign tangeable object that woke us up, but it is to no avail whatsoever because there is nothing to find.

 

[Lolie]

^^^

Ahem. Hie thee to a doctor!

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

WOW. something crazy just happened. I went to the complex fitness center, walked, and began lifting weights. While doing butterflys i began getting intense eye wiggles while i was trying to read a poster 4 feet away. Then, i noticed the movement of the butterflys gave me really intense trails! I then got an intense cold shiver throughout my whole body, the kind i get when i roll. I ran to the mirror in the fitness room and looked at my face, and my eyes were EXTREMELY dialated. They were so dialated, that they wouldn't be that dialated in pitch black, and the fitness room i was in was heavily lit, and as bright as noon. I finished my work out and ran back home to check if my eyes were still dialated, and they were HUGE. Also, when i was walking on the way back to my house in the dark i hard really intense visual distortions involving depth perception, the kind i would get on MDA. like the road looked like it had dips and bumps, like little hills.

Now my eyes aren't dialated anymore and I'm back to normal but i can't sleep, i feel amped up.
Holy shit post mdma abuse has the craziessst side effects..

 

[Deleted member 137730]

Ok, I didn't want to have to go and make a whole thread about this, but i've been searching and searching and can't find out what i'm experiencing anywhere. I tried asking people in another thread about ecstasy side effects, but no one answered me so i have no choice but to start a thread, i really want to find out what this is.

Ok some background information, I started rolling almost exactly a year ago, usually once a month, but when my GF cheated on me i started rolling multiple times in a week, sometimes as much as 3 days in a row. When summer came around i didn't touch X for almost 2 months, then i started using again, only once a month though, but for only 3 months. In the past 2 months i started using X like i never have before.. cause of more pain with the X. My MDMA use the past 2 months escalated to the last week of december, where i was on X ever single day, and some days before new years i even rolled for about 30+ hours non stop on molly. I think i went through almost 3 grams of molly to myself in 3 or more days...

Anyways, I realized how bad i was abusing this wonderful drug.. and decided right then and there to stop. It's been almost 10 days since i have rolled, and I've been taking plenty multivitamins, and 5HTP almost every day. I haven't had any depression or anxiety since i started the 5HTP. I have however, noticed a decrease in my cognitive abilities. Now here is my first question: Will my short term memory loss ever go away? will my memory ever be restored? will my cognitive functions ever be as sharp as they once were?

Also, the big side effect that i can't put my finger on. This has happened quite a few times since i started using MDMA a year ago. And this always happens during my sleep, i will try to describe it as best as i can. I will be sleeping normally, haven't used any MDMA within the week, when I abrubtly wake up and jump off my bed immediately, in a state of utter and imense terror.

When I immediately wake up like this, i always stand up right away, the second i wake up, and i can't think. Thoughts just don't go through my head, I'm confused. The only thing going through my head is this feeling of immense and terrible terror/panic. I will immediately start pacing around the house quickly, looking around, trying to gather some sort of thought as to what's going on. I can't think rationally, can't even think of who I am, I don't have a normal thought process. I keep pacing rapidly through the house in a state a sheer terror/panic, which doesn't seem to go away. Eventually i will rush into my room and sit on my bed, and then i fall asleep as quickly as i woke up, only to wake up in the morning to question what the fuck had happened.

These episodes usually last around 5 minutes, maybe longer i'm not sure. I've only had a handfull of these episodes, with my last one occuring dec. 29th, and is the episode i described above. I don't think i've had one of these episodes before my X use.. but i may be wrong.

Has ANYONE heard of anything like this at all? I don't know how to describe these episodes to anyone I know, let alone my doctor. Maybe there is a term for this, that i just don't know. But please, help me find out what it is exactly that i'm experiencing, thank you

Im not going to lie or sugarcoat it for you.

Your sleep will probably normalize in anywhere from 3 months up to 3 years.
your cognitive function might improve 50% but no where near 100%.
your emotions will take at least 1 year to get back to normal. IMO.

on top of all this you will adjust to the new you and eventually forget what you used to be like thereby assuming you made a "full" recovery. Most end up this way although they generally only recover partially.

What can you do?

1) fish oil
2)exercise

3) This is more of an extreme measure but it has evidence for mdma induced issues - Electroconvulsive therapy.

4)antidepressants RARELY work for MDMA or METH induced depression, i would stay away

otherwise only time can help. I myself experienced something similair and 4 years later im still recovering although you could by all means recover quicker.

 

[Eyes On the Roll]

alright thanks for the information. it sucks to get lost in fun and fuck yourself up like this, but i figured that i spent about 3 years of my life experimenting with drugs/fucking with my mind, that i can spend the rest of my life being healthy, at least.

Also, my pupil dialation is back.. and i feel really hyped up. idk whats going on. also, is it normal if you can see your heart beat/pulse through your shirt? i'm laying on my bed with my laptop on my lap, and by the way the light hits my torso up, i can visibly see my pulse beating through my shirt. Its not the pulse directly at my heart, but a few inches below it, almost as low as the end of my ribcage. I have a quick and strong pulse right now, and can easily see it through my shirt and its freaking me out.