schizophrenia, cant feel emotion

bben

Bluelighter
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Sep 21, 2009
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3 years ago, i took a very large dose of MDA. This triggered schizophrenia in me. I am disorganized/catatonic type. It was an insidious onset. I become mute sometimes or have to be prompted to speak.

The worst part is that i cant feel any emotion, except occasionally homicidal rage.

Anti-psychotics only help positive symptoms and shizophrenia is uncurable.

Why live a life like this?
 
sorry i dont know shit about this, but im interested, how did schizophrenia come on? was it gradual? was there symptoms?
 
If the med you are on is not working I'd encourage you to as clearly as possible explain to your prescriber what effects you want to avoid or achieve.

Also it may not be all about the meds and the schizophrenia. Psychotherapy combined with meds can really improve outcomes for patients. As far as the MDA angle you may have discovered a drug you really can not tolerate. Schizophrenics are often encouraged to abstain from recreational drugs all together. For certain they are to be avoided when problems are severe or acute. No way to take back what happened three years ago.

I think many mental patients can be to passive about self advocating for treatment changes. Other times some push hard at one moment and settle into extreme passivity at other times. Consistent self advocacy done in as reasonable manner as possible does seem to help doctor's listen more and get you the best care in my experience.

If your treatment setting is a place you aren't able to have good therapeutic communication with your providers it could be necessary to look for different providers or clinics.

I hope this all gets better for you soon.

Edit: Also though schizophrenia is incurable as you mentioned, it is treatable and many schizophrenic people do find some relieve from both positive and negative symptoms. The agents used are complicated and some are just wrong for certain patients and can make some folks worse. Fortunately there are more agents and treatments around now than at any other time. This is a big part of why good communication with your prescriber and other people who help treat is important.
 
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The use of long-acting ADHD meds to manage the negative symptoms of catatonic schizophrenia is currently in clinical trials. I mention this so that you don't think that treatment for the negative symptoms of schizophrenia is years in the future.

You don't mention which anti-psychotics you've already tried but when you're going to be on a medication longterm it really is worth putting some effort into finding the one which has the most benefit and the least side effects for you.
 
The use of long-acting ADHD meds to manage the negative symptoms of catatonic schizophrenia is currently in clinical trials. I mention this so that you don't think that treatment for the negative symptoms of schizophrenia is years in the future.

You don't mention which anti-psychotics you've already tried but when you're going to be on a medication longterm it really is worth putting some effort into finding the one which has the most benefit and the least side effects for you.

Yes i take long-acting ADHD meds for my negative symptoms glad you mentioned it. The drug with trials you speak of is vyvanse from shire. I take dextroamphetamine 20mgs per day. Most people dont understand that if you do not have active psychosis or paranoid type shizophrenia these help the negative symptoms. In fact amphetamine and cigarettes are the ONLY thing that helps.

Antipsychotics are only good for preventing psychosis, once psychosis ends you are left with negative symptoms.

The onset took 3 years and i didnt notice it until my speech starting coming out weird, my memory went away, and i started treating my girl friend like she didnt exist as i have no emotion. Mind you i loved this girl alot and my disease stole her from me.
 
It is possible for depression to co-exist with schizophrenia. The anti-psychotic meds or too high of a dose of those med can cause anhedonia. I'm not saying these things because I think I can diagnose or fix these kinds of problems over the web but pointing out that if it is made clear to the doctor that there is a problem than these things can very often be successfully addressed.

In my experience psychiatrists almost never rework dosages, kind of medicine, or regimen unless they are aware there is a problem. It is also my experience that sometimes you need to be persistent about conveying there is a problem, especially in clinics where you often end up seeing different docs.
 
It is possible for depression to co-exist with schizophrenia. The anti-psychotic meds or too high of a dose of those med can cause anhedonia. I'm not saying these things because I think I can diagnose or fix these kinds of problems over the web but pointing out that if it is made clear to the doctor that there is a problem than these things can very often be successfully addressed.

In my experience psychiatrists almost never rework dosages, kind of medicine, or regimen unless they are aware there is a problem. It is also my experience that sometimes you need to be persistent about conveying there is a problem, especially in clinics where you often end up seeing different docs.

Yeah i take abilify and that has the least sides of all the anti psychotics, it mellow me some, but blocks all recreational drugs and highs. My regiment is pretty much as good as its gonna get, im stuck as an emotionless robot. I couldnt cry if my parents died.
 
It is possible for depression to co-exist with schizophrenia. The anti-psychotic meds or too high of a dose of those med can cause anhedonia. I'm not saying these things because I think I can diagnose or fix these kinds of problems over the web but pointing out that if it is made clear to the doctor that there is a problem than these things can very often be successfully addressed.

In my experience psychiatrists almost never rework dosages, kind of medicine, or regimen unless they are aware there is a problem. It is also my experience that sometimes you need to be persistent about conveying there is a problem, especially in clinics where you often end up seeing different docs.

Agreed.


bben, when was the last time you discussed your current condition with your psych? They can't know to alter your meds unless they actually know that there's a problem. And the way you're currently living is not good enough. I'm sure there is a combination of meds or a different dosage that will suit you better.
 
Most people dont understand that if you do not have active psychosis or paranoid type shizophrenia these help the negative symptoms. In fact amphetamine and cigarettes are the ONLY thing that helps.

Can I ask what age-bracket you fall into?
Because its drug induced Schizophrenia, Im wondering did you experience any Florid Symptoms, at first at all, or was it just negative symptoms?
You said it was an 'insiduous onset' so did it seem like depression and turn into a more catatonic state or??

What I know is the negative usually follows the positive symtoms in Schizophrenics but this depends on certain factors.
I do know people who have got better with treatment.(anti-psychotics, anti -depressants, psychotherapy and staying off non-perscribed substances; have all seemed to help this happen) ...although the anti-psychotics dont pertain to your situation with the negative symptoms ATM.

Is there any genetic predisposition to Schizophrenia or do you believe it occured primarily because of the MDA use?
Just concerned that amphetimine use, although treating the catatonic symptoms as they are now, might not do much good for you long term, and may even hinder your recovery long term? Am not a Docter so I dont know. Have you been given a brain scan? Are you receiving any other kind of therapy to help you longterm?
Always cautious about quick fixes when it comes to drug induced mental illness'!:\
Just throwing that out there.
 
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Can I ask what age-bracket you fall into?
Because its drug induced Schizophrenia, Im wondering did you experience any Florid Symptoms, at first at all, or was it just negative symptoms?
You said it was an 'insiduous onset' so did it seem like depression and turn into a more catatonic state or??

What I know is the negative usually follows the positive symtoms in Schizophrenics but this depends on certain factors.
I do know people who have got better with treatment.(anti-psychotics, anti -depressants, psychotherapy and staying off non-perscribed substances; have all seemed to help this happen) ...although the anti-psychotics dont pertain to your situation with the negative symptoms ATM.

Is there any genetic predisposition to Schizophrenia or do you believe it occured primarily because of the MDA use?
Just concerned that amphetimine use, although treating the catatonic symptoms as they are now, might not do much good for you long term, and may even hinder your recovery long term? Am not a Docter so I dont know. Have you been given a brain scan? Are you receiving any other kind of therapy to help you longterm?
Always cautious about quick fixes when it comes to drug induced mental illness'!:\
Just throwing that out there.

There were positive symtpoms first but not major ones, i was shitzotypal before if thats a risk factor at all. The onset of postive symptoms were obvious looking back on it, the negative were not obvious. I think it was latent and would not have come out if i didnt use MDA, but who knows.

I cant even say for sure it is schizophrenia, it could just be mass brain damage from an mdxx overdose who knows.
 
How recent is your diagnosis? You say that the onset was insidious, which suggests that it wasn't diagnosed quickly.

You mentioned using morphine in combination with the amps for your negative symptoms. That seems like a curious choice of drug to be throwing into the mix.
 
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