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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

is it wrong to keep your drugs secret from a lover?

P

Protoryu

Greenlighter
Joined
May 12, 2010
Messages
37
Pretty self tittled...

Do you guys and gals think its ok to hide your drug use from a lover?
Especially if you know the person would disaprove.
Or is honest the best policy when it comes to relationships.
 
Depends on if it's a serious relationship, marriage ect...

If it doesn't affect the relationship then it's whatever..

I don't lie to my husband about shit!
 
ideally? honesty is the best policy. trust is the foundation of any good relationship.

however ive been in situations where i've lied, like when i was trying to quit coke, and i had a gf that despised it. I slipped up once, and told her id just done a bunch of adderal, and that why i was freaking out. but on the whole, id say if you do lie, you are just setting yourself up to be found out
 
Downside of being honest: when the relationship goes sour she/he may blackmail you.
 
if you're dating someone who was a drug user you won't be able too hide anything because they'll know all the signs and tricks because they've been there themselves, I know this from experience.

other than that I think it depends on the drug and the severity of your addiction and how much it affects your life.

If you really value the relationship and your partner doesn't want to be involved with a drug user you may have to make a choice, is the drug or relationship more important?

Bottom line is be honest if you want your relationship to last....... however there are so many levels of drug use, like an occasional hit of pot is one thing, but if you're addicted to IV heroin and meth that's a whole other ballgame, I don't know how you'd maintain a relationship with that kind of a drug addiction if your partner wasn't equally addicted.
 
Its hard to say.
I usually just don't mention it if its never brought up.
as soon as somebody asks me I tell the truth. I have always had a hard time lying.
 
No but its wrong to cheat on ur drugs wit people who dont approve. cause mary jane gone be there now n wen she gone, so will wutever but bitches come and go, but da L u always blow no homo. who gives a fuck if u feelin her do wuteva but if she feelin u y shud she be botherd son? secrets useless. keep it Gs be like yea i smokey da dust ma wut u gonna do and she gone do wut she do best if not smoke pot n forget her ass come bak in da room n be like eyo bitch i quit drugs(for hour) den make up fuckin, n if u get caught again, do da same, get blitted and be like yo i quit so lemme suck ya tit n she gon believe u cuz she dumb(in love mind perceived) so she gon buy it meanwhile drugs cause a riot in ur brain, u feel wut am sayin. now u fuckin da bitch n if u get caught repeat..

like right now u feel me dusted n shit but I quit so its all good u feel me but i smoki sour/piff/purp mix now and it type right u feel me.. MARY JANE MY FIRST REALL LADY so I treat her well smoke her daily, and chicks come and go but mary always ready to blow.
 
I tried, thought I was. In a serious relationship. Well thought I was maintaining more that I was and he didn't know when I was high.
He always knew. They usually do.
Its not a first date thing or a fuck buddy thing, but relationship.
You can't really hide it like you think you can.

So my vote, yes.
 
Yes. It is wrong to keep drug secrets from a lover. If your person of interest is clean cut, or does not approve of drugs, he/she is not the one for you, or you either need to change. And honesty and trust is the basis of a relationship.
 
It really depends.
I grew up in a very conservative family, especially when it came to drug use. When I was right out of college, I had a close minded view when it came to drugs, and the people that did them.

At that point, I started a relationship with someone. I didn't know that he had done many drugs in the past, but he didn't know if I would be alright with it at first. He kept it from me for a while, probably out of nervousness and eventually told me.

I think in this situation, it was understandable for him to keep it from me, because he obviously liked me and was nervous if I disapproved. However, if he would have done drugs behind my back and lied to me without planning on telling the truth I might have not liked that.
 
Tbh it's a VERY hard thing to hide, in my experience.
I was fighting an IV heroin addiction and managed to get clean without a word, but withdrawals are a big fucking sign.
So I had to come clean, in both ways. She has never touched a drug in her life, therefore she had no idea what was going on inside my head - just another smackhead she should have avoided is her take on what happened.
 
I always keep mine a secret... but what I've found over 20 years of trying to keep them a secret was that I could never hide it for long. Not when you're intimate with somebody or you live with them.

Either way, unless you are a true freak who can cope well with the daily lies and not feel remorse or guilt and is constantly hyper-vigilant to cover your tracks (which can get really exhausting and taxing on your mind after a while) you are going to get caught, and then you'll be double-fucked.

My ADD made this kind of sneakiness especially difficult to maintain because I would constantly get confused as to where I left rigs and equipment and what stash was where and when and why and I was like an open book.
 
BEEF/N/BROKLY said:
No but its wrong to cheat on ur drugs wit people who dont approve. cause mary jane gone be there now n wen she gone, so will wutever but bitches come and go, but da L u always blow no homo. who gives a fuck if u feelin her do wuteva but if she feelin u y shud she be botherd son? secrets useless. keep it Gs be like yea i smokey da dust ma wut u gonna do and she gone do wut she do best if not smoke pot n forget her ass come bak in da room n be like eyo bitch i quit drugs(for hour) den make up fuckin, n if u get caught again, do da same, get blitted and be like yo i quit so lemme suck ya tit n she gon believe u cuz she dumb(in love mind perceived) so she gon buy it meanwhile drugs cause a riot in ur brain, u feel wut am sayin. now u fuckin da bitch n if u get caught repeat..

like right now u feel me dusted n shit but I quit so its all good u feel me but i smoki sour/piff/purp mix now and it type right u feel me.. MARY JANE MY FIRST REALL LADY so I treat her well smoke her daily, and chicks come and go but mary always ready to blow.
Click to expand...

Jesus, type like a normal person.
 
honesty is the best policy....u can try and lie but do you really think they wont notice? people arent as dumb as we would like to think they are
 
Is it wrong? Yes. Does it happen? Yes.

In my case, and Im sure many others, opiates keep me mentally grounded. I am addicted because we partied together for years, then one day outta nowhere he decides hes done and Im either done too or we're done. To make a long story short, for a while we split, I missed him, got on suboxone, we got back together, got married, had a baby, I got off suboxone and suddenly am depressed and bored as shit. Going back to a minimal dose (5-10mgs/day when I can get it) doesnt get me high but makes me mentally functional so I can get past the depression and take care of my kid.

So in the end how wrong am I really when I am doing it for a good reason. Honestly its his fault. :!

I know I'm just justifying, and eventually will get caught, and when that time comes we will work through it, hopefully anyway. He could just shut off and leave me again with no warning. Such is the way of the life of an addict.
 
Hmmm - if you can't share your favorite recreational activities with your partner I'd say maybe you are with the wrong partner. I couldn't imagine hiding recreational drug use from my partner. Heck, I couldn't imagine not doing them with my partner. Haha! Don't you think you would enjoy your rolls/trips whathaveyou much more if you didn't have the guilt/paranoia of getting caught nagging at you? Think of how much more fun it would be if you could share those experiences with your partner!
 
Since i used to always somehow attract phsyco straight lace girls i have quite a bit of experience with this. it never works no matter how hard u try. I've been in that situation with everything from weed to heroin and it never turns out good whether your honest or not. even if your honest from the beginning and the other person doesn't approve I gaurantee its impossible to change how they feel and shit will eventually end up fucked. it always turns into a "them vs your drug" thing. I've been flipped out on like I cheated cause she convinced herself the worst thing I could possibly do was hang out with my ONLY best friend from high-school and smoke a few bowls just me and him when she knew damn well that's just what we do when we chill.

trust me, being woke up at 3 am by a girl u love holding a baggie of 30 used needles all hysterical cause she searched your apartment while u were sleeping sucks major ass... anyone else been there?

I quit all that tho and I'm with someone I can share and do all that shit with and its infinitely better and less stressful. she just gets jealous when I play too many video games. :P
 
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