the real "comedown"
Well it seems as though I'm about to go through a family intervention whether I like it or not. I'm 23 and have been addicted to hydrocodone and thank God I've never done heroin, I heavily abuse hydrocodone daily. My family is worried about me, though I act normal on opiates like most do, they think that I'm killing myself slowly. There are making me move back home, and though they are not mad at me, they want me to be clean and have a productive, happy life. I thought I did but I guess if your on opiates you can't be productive, they think anyway. Thats the opposite in my case, they make me productive and social. Either way it probably is for the best and it will be hard and no fucking fun at all. Although, I will save a lot of money, I'm not looking forward to this. I would like to hear anyone's thoughts form people thats had to go through this, and any advice and help. I do want to quit using, and that makes this more likely to work. THanks for any input.
After all off this I did not tell how this came to be. I knew that I was falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. This "intervention" was inevitable with a loving family like mine, which I am truly grateful for, backing me up with support. I was wanting to get clean but just could not do it on my own. I wanted to get clean and stop having to figure out how I was going to get high every day. Since my family was only waiting for me to want help and to ask for it, they did not force or threaten me to move home and clean up. I did that all on my own because they knew that I would not clean up by being forced, but only after I wanted to do it. After I realized this, and wanted to be clean, I prepared myself for what I was about to go through. A few weeks before I told my family I needed to move home and get help I tried winging myself off of years worth of habits. From the habit of taking pills every other hour, to the rush of trying to find them. Not to mention the euphoria and high the pills brought about.
So, when I realized I was ready for help, I made my "stash"( Fentanyl, hydrocodone, darvocet) This was all purchased at the same time and I have not purchased anything else since this. I acquired a box of 5 100 mcg/hr transdermal fentanyl patches. I wore one at a time for two days a piece. This actually might sound absolutely ridiculous to some, but for me it helped take the focus off of trying to find pills everyday, which had become a habit for me, it acquired most my time and my thoughts, so it controlled me. I know this is a strong opiod, but it REALLY helped me not to think about it as much. I could put on a patch and forget about the worry of trying to find something for two or three days. I DID NOT ABUSE THESE PATCHES IN ANY WAY. Meaning I didn't cut them open and eat or smoke the gel. I know wearing them was abuse, as I didn't "need" them, but I did only wear them.
After about ten days or so when I ran out of patches, I stepped down to the 10/500 hydrocodone pills. I had 20 of these pills. I took three a day, (morning, noon, and night,) for 4 days. Then I went down to 2 a day for 4 more days. In this stage I was not trying to get high, which I wasn't, but only trying to continue to wean myself off of the habit as well as the addiction. It was amazing how well the patches worked to break the cycle of always thinking about trying to "find" something. The patches also do not have the euphoria that other opiates do, if not abused. The weaning with the hydrocodone went very well to abate any withdrawls I might have had.
After the hydrocodone I had quite a few darvocet at my disposal. I would take about 6 pills evenly throughout the day to start off with, as I am aware of the dangers of darvocet. I did this for a few days and gradually went down to only 2 a day for a few more days and then I quit. The day after I quit was the day I called my father and told him to come get me and bring me home. He was there within and hour. That next week after he picked me up and brought me home was when I posted this original thread.
I have been clean now for going on three weeks, I think, I have lost track of time almost. I don't recommend this for anyone. I just wanted to tell the entire story of how I got my second chance. I was always terrified of going through withdrawls, but this was the best way that I could come up with. Some might look at this and think "no way that worked" but that is how it worked for me. I'm not really a cold turkey kinda person. I don't like being sick and will do anything to feel better. This should go without mentioning,
but the past few weeks I have still been in the acute withdrawl phase, and I still partially am. Every day is ten times better than the last day. I only have a little ways to go until it is finally over and drugs will no longer run my life.. I WILL ALWAYS BE AN ADDICT!!! I can never relapse or it will be " here we go again". Just because I don't use, does not mean that I don't have the tendency to use. An alcoholic is always a recovered alcoholic. Same in my case.
I just want to thank every one here for the support and interest that you have given me. I know my method sounds ridiculous, I just wanted to tell you all how I got clean without going through absolute hell. In which case would have most likely caused me to have continue abusing drugs. Thank you for listening and may you all live out a full and happy life.
. the easy part is the acute first week withdraws, the PAWS is the hard part my friend. you may need some assistance, but it all depends.