As I mentioned in a previous post, about a month ago my wife and I tried a sub-100-mg dose of methylone for the first time and didn't get much out of it. We tried again last night (valentine's night!) with 160mg each. Since neither of us had tried MDMA (or any other like chemicals) I had hoped that we'd be particularly sensitive to the effects (but perhaps that's not how it works..).
We dosed at 5PM. By T+1/1:30 we were each feeling energetic and good (and a little lightheaded in a pleasant way), but it was all somewhat subtle and indefinable. Since I know methylone is notorious for its short peak, we decided to vape some pot to hopefully kick things up a notch while we had the chance. What followed was nearly SIX hours of uninterrupted fast and intense talking about ourselves, working on our (serious/heavy) relationship issues, and connecting it all with life, the universe, and everything. Ideas, thoughts, and insights were coming at a mile a minute and we both feel like we only scratched the surface of everything we wanted to say to each other. Mostly it was psychedelic in the way that pot has always felt psychedelic to both of us, except for two things: 1) It was much faster/more intense and didn't get bogged down by the sometimes sedating effects of pot and 2) Especially at the initial stage (the methylone peak) I felt able to talk about things that might otherwise have been too hard for me (or would have provoked anxiety or anger or other strong emotions that can hinder my ability to say what I need to say); indeed I felt capable of saying pretty much anything without worrying about hurting myself or my wife.
Maybe I'm getting too personal here, but my wife and have been having some serious issues since we got married about a year ago. These are NOT little things, and recently they've been feeling insurmountable much of the time. Last night's experience was amazingly healing for both of us. We're not under any illusions that we have "solved" our problems, but it was an incredible start and it feels like I have hope and can see a way to move forward, whereas before I was getting lost in despair.
Those are the positives. The biggest negative is the fact that we could hardly sleep after it (even though we dosed at 5PM and went to bed at 1:30AM after a physically intense (and awesome) sexcapade. She took an ativan and I took 2 benadryls, but both of us had only minimal sleep. I'm not going to dose this stuff again if I have to work the next day (I feel fine/sharp working today, which suggests to me that the methylone is *still* keeping me stimulated and alert, because I have a headache and feel like I should be tired otherwise). More minor negatives include a bit of muscle weirdness (tension leading to cramps if not careful, although it really wasn't that bad) and the worst cotton-mouth I've ever experienced despite staying hydrated (kept waking up at night with my throat stuck to itself).
It was an amazing night, but I *still* feel like we didn't get to experience anything more than a hint of the magic that people talk about feeling in conjunction with empathogens. I was aware that it lifted my mood and made it easier to discuss certain issues, but this was only because I was trying to "feel out" the chemical to get a sense of its character. Had I just smoked a lot of pot and drank a large amount of caffeine, I could have felt similarly under the right conditions. Should I try to push the dosage higher next time? In any case, I recently acquired some MDAI and I think we'll make our next attempt with that one (after a month or more of recovery).
And in terms of not going the extra step of MDMA: Well, since I haven't tried MDMA I can't know for sure, but I guess this is what I was talking about when I felt I didn't get the "magic" part. I basically felt like myself but...more, and without the intellectually counter-productive emotional reflexes impeding my thoughts. That's awesome and useful, but not wholly recreational in the sense that I usually understand it.
