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I think I have the worst insomnia in the world, and I'm thinking of finding out.

dilated_pupils

dilated_pupils

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
Messages
3,617
Location
Philly burbs, PA
Yeah I know the thread title is kind of confusing. I have two things I want to bring up and instead of making two threads I'm going to tie in two separate issues together that really have nothing in common.

ISSUE #1:

My insomnia is the worst in the world, although I'm sure there are some who are near, or are, on the same level as I am.

Right now it's 12:30 in the morning and I am more awake then I am usually in the day. Now before you tell me my sleep schedule is what's making me all screwed up, it's not. How do I know? Because I don't have a sleep schedule OR cycle.

I stay up EVERY night, literally. There is nothing I can do to make myself pass out. Hmm, what about drugs? Trust me I've tried literally every meditation out there, and then some (and I'm talking about illegal drugs too).

There is ONE drug that will knock me out but I have had horrible experiences with it and it would get me kicked out of the house if I was found using it, the name is SOMA! Lately I've been taking them again on and off when I can get them but paying $10 to fall asleep a night when I literally am so broke right now and owe more money then I have ever had in my possession, really isn't easy to do.

If you know anything about Soma's they will knock your ass out, but they have a nasty habit of making you do really fucked up things and making you forget that you even did it (the memory loss is terrible if you take just a few of them). For me, it takes AT LEAST 6 soma's to help me get to sleep, but 8 is just perfect to knock me out (and this is taking it on and off, not every night like I used too when I was prescribed). When I was prescribed I took too many and then was so fucked up I thought it was okay to take more and ended up eating all my soma's (approx. 120 of them) plus 4 bottles of other meds, including benzos, and I ended up in the ICU. So I'm sure you understand why I have to be careful taking them.

Okay so now you understand that my life sucks because I cannot sleep, EVER! I cannot get a job even if I try right now, but even if I had one I know it wouldn't last long, I've only had like 2 legit jobs in my life honestly. I'm so used to making my money other ways... drugs *cough*. I know this shit would screw up school as well but I can't afford to go back this semester anyway so I guess thats one less thing to worry about.

Okay now for ISSUE #2:

This is more like a questionable plan rather than an issue, although the plan has some holes in it so I guess it contains 'issues.'

I have been thinking more and more about this every day; I want to leave the US and go to Europe somewhere backpacking and pretty much never come back to the US. I'm on parole right now so if I left I wouldn't be able to come back, although I have no felonies so I'm unsure about what would happen but I know it wouldn't be too safe to leave and come back lol. Anyhow, I have no money like I stated, if I did do this I'd literally just have enough to buy a plane ticket and MAYBE a hundred or a couple hundred bucks if I sell some of my shit for spending money.

The way I look at it is, I'll learn a lot about myself, life, and if I don't make it out alive, then so be it. I don't have a death wish, I just have a wish to live! I may be out of jail right now but life is my prison and I want to be set free! This probably sounds crazy, and I know we've all thought about up and leaving before, but I'm kind of serious about this, I want to go so badly! I do love my family dearly, and the couple real friends I have, but for my own sake, and my family's (since they have been paying so much to help me out) it would probably be best. It'd be cheaper for my family to fly out to see me then for me to stay around and let them help pay for fines, student loans & school, and everything else that I can't pay for (which is everything at the moment).

If anyone has any idea/advice on helping me achieve this PLEASE let me know, send me a private message with whatever info you can that will aid me in getting the hell away from here and being set free. NO I'm not running away from my problems I'm running away from prison (not literally, and literally since I'm on parole)! I hate what this country has become, and what it is becomming (the US). I know other countries aren't much better but at least I don't have dept there and people out to get me.

Sorry for the long thread, but I have to do something, and I have to do it yesterday!

-dp

P.S. - sorry for my lack of presence around here lately, I've been hounded by all this crap in my life so badly that I've had little will to come back home to bluelight much lately, my bad.

EDIT: Woops forgot to mention the reason for the name of the thread - well if I leave to go backpacking in Europe I'll find out if I have the worst insomnia in the world once I meet other people right? Ahhhhhh I wanna leave now!
 
I know how you feel, I have suffered from insomnia for years. I started looking at alternative medicines more so natural.I was stunned to see that I had so many symptoms of magnesium/zinc and vitamin B deficiency. Now your probably thinking its just impossible to be this simple, however magnesium is essential for Serotonin production and also the conversion of Serotonin to Melatonin. I would suggest products that can be applied to the skin like magnesium chloride. Also I found that being out doors will help, if you can go get a laboring jog instead of office based work, this way you are working your body all day and you will start to have a rhythm. Yes I know how will you get up for work if you don't sleep. Get some one to physically drag you out of bed if need be, till you start to sleep at a decent time. I know these things sound small and insignificant but you sound like me till I changed my attitude about meds. Also it is possible that you have Pyroluria. PM me if you want links to sites or just to talk....most off all clear your head sort out the mess that keep your brain going at light speed all night.
 
I have had insomnia on and off for years. I feel your pain, not been able to sleep is terrible. Things that have helped though is exercising everyday. Take up a martial arts like boxing or kickboxing, that are incredibly tiring and has helped me sleep. Other than that, do your best to deal with the things in life that cause you alot of stress. Stress causes my insomnia (and I get it bad), but when I'm not stressed it only takes me about half an hour to get to sleep.

Its probably worth seeing a psychologist to get your sleep issues sorted. This is something I am going to do in the new year.

As for the europe thing. Go travel by all means. BUT wait until you get the parole thing sorted. There is no point in going with no money and no way to return to the US. What will happen if you can't find work straight away? You'll be fucked. You'll have to become homeless.

Wait until your finances and legal situtation is better worted.
 
I also have a problem sleeping, I fall asleep ok but have a hard job of staying asleep. Ive tried lots of different meds to no avail except for mirtazapine but that only worked for a while. I do think that a lot of sleep problems arise from mental/emotional issues and until these are resolved we have problems with sleeplessness. Sorry i don't have the answer apart from trying to work through any issues you may have.

With regards to moving away, I live in europe and I dont feel any more content than you do in America but i do belive in exploring the world. Maybe you will find what your looking for but be aware that life is no easier in other continents..........
 
^ hey guys do you have trouble remembering your dream, coz I do

It is said that magnesium gets your to sleep and zinc keeps you there

and that vitamin B3 and 6 is the key to dream recall
 
i go to an alternative medicine doctor and the only thing he will give me for sleep is melatonin, l-theanine+gaba, and niacinamide. I wish he would prescribe me something that would actually work when I am having vicious insomnia!
 
You're not alone. I've had chronic insomnia for years... long before I got into stimulants. I can't remember the last time I had a natural sleep, without a cocktail of drugs to knock me out. :\
 
^same here. I NEVER EVER EVER sleep and it was long before stimulants. Natural sleep just doesn't happen. It is the most frustrating thing in the world.
 
I dont really have any advice as far as the insomnia goes, I've had it since childhood myself, a pain which has lead me into full blown alcoholism....just drinking until I would finally pass out, meds tended not to work.

But as far as running to Europe goes, please consider this very carefully, for a start having spent a lot time travelling around europe I can tell you that it can be a very very rough place, there are to start a lot of very desperate people looking for work or just looking for money which makes supporting yourself and avoiding robbery difficult. Youth hostels etc are full of travellers who started with good intentions but now drift about scamming gap year kids with bs stories about lost luggage etc just to get cash for food/shelter.

Not wanting to piss on your dreams or anything, europe can be great, but there is a dark side, if you want to go somewhere in Europe I would recommend from personal experience ether Romania or Turkey (esp Istanbul) since the living is very cheap and the people are by any standard friendly and honest....good luck with whatever you do!
 
andreas said:
I know how you feel, I have suffered from insomnia for years. I started looking at alternative medicines more so natural.I was stunned to see that I had so many symptoms of magnesium/zinc and vitamin B deficiency. Now your probably thinking its just impossible to be this simple, however magnesium is essential for Serotonin production and also the conversion of Serotonin to Melatonin. I would suggest products that can be applied to the skin like magnesium chloride. Also I found that being out doors will help, if you can go get a laboring jog instead of office based work, this way you are working your body all day and you will start to have a rhythm.
Click to expand...

Thanks, never thought about the vitamin deficiency. If it turns out to be something that simple, I will almost keel over in happiness. Or more so hopefully in a real nights sleep. It is now 9:23am and I have yet to sleep, I feel so uneasy and anxiety is high at this time now, even though I've been good overall with anxiety, it's hard to get away from when you don't sleep. My body wants to rest, but I seem to wake up at like 7-8pm and it just lasts through out the night, even if I stay up all day!

captain howdy said:
I dont really have any advice as far as the insomnia goes, I've had it since childhood myself, a pain which has lead me into full blown alcoholism....just drinking until I would finally pass out, meds tended not to work.

But as far as running to Europe goes, please consider this very carefully, for a start having spent a lot time travelling around europe I can tell you that it can be a very very rough place, there are to start a lot of very desperate people looking for work or just looking for money which makes supporting yourself and avoiding robbery difficult. Youth hostels etc are full of travellers who started with good intentions but now drift about scamming gap year kids with bs stories about lost luggage etc just to get cash for food/shelter.

Not wanting to piss on your dreams or anything, europe can be great, but there is a dark side, if you want to go somewhere in Europe I would recommend from personal experience ether Romania or Turkey (esp Istanbul) since the living is very cheap and the people are by any standard friendly and honest....good luck with whatever you do!
Click to expand...

Your not pissing on my dreams, my dreams would be to have everything be okay here in the US, but I don't know if that will ever happen. My ideas about leaving the country are based off of all the problems not only happening to the country itself, but to me personally. Once you're in the system, you're in the system. Now a days filling out an application it doesn't just ask if you've been convicted of any felonies it asks have you been convicted of anything within the past 10 years and even mentions things like "include any DUIs" like why the hell does that matter if I'm not driving?

It's complete bullshit.

-dp
 
I second visiting Romania and Turkey. Not only are they both beautiful countries, but Istanbul and Bucharest are both very beautiful cities.

I don't know much about Insomnia, so I can't help you out there, but I wish you good luck in trying to fix your Insomnia.
 
What kind of somas are you taking?? All they do to me is relax my body, they never made me sleepy or high. But yeah same here I'm a night owl I prefer staying up at night. And it sux.
 
Process said:
What kind of somas are you taking?? All they do to me is relax my body, they never made me sleepy or high. But yeah same here I'm a night owl I prefer staying up at night. And it sux.
Click to expand...

I'm taking 350mg soma's usually 6 is the dose I take to knock me out, or 8. Yeah it's a lot but it honestly is the only thing that will help my insomnia. It really sucks.

I just spent over 2 days with no sleep. It was horrible, and with my mental conditions it is definitely not helpful. Although I'm doing much better, this kind of stuff can change that easily.

-dp
 
If you do decide to travel, sign up with the hospitality club. It's basically couch surfing - and has the details of thousands of people who'll let you stay with them for free in basically any country you travel to. It's an invaluable resource :)
 
I've suffered terrible insomnia for the last year and literally doc shopped until I found one not afraid to put pen to paper and help. I've tried many different concoctions with no success until I was scripted Temazepam. 4 of those 15mg badboys and I'm out for at least 6 hours. it's the only thing that has ever worked. aside from being highly addictive it works like magic. Just make sure you don't take them for more than 2 weeks or you've just given yourself another (much worse) addiction than any opiate. I use them for opiate insomnia and will toss the remainder of the script once I can sleep normally again. You might have to move up from something like zopiclone to something else and then to temazepam. its usually not a docs first choice for insomnia.
 
One more word of advice. Take a strong Multi vitamin. it will reset all you bodily functions to the way they should naturally work. I recommend "NOW" brand "Special Two" also cleared up my depression, and significantly improve your outlook on life, just give it a couple of days to kick in and you'll notice a difference
 
LateNightClutch said:
Just make sure you don't take them for more than 2 weeks or you've just given yourself another (much worse) addiction than any opiate..
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Already been on valium, ativan, xanax, klonopin, etc. for a lot of my life. Around ~7 years now or so. I cannot even get 'messed up' off my meds, but I don't even try to abuse them. I take them seriously, will never sell them I know how bad one day without my meds may be if I have anxiety/panic attacks.

I'm now on klonopin 2mgs a day (would be more but I'm legally prescribed a lot of addictive medications so it's just a precaution as to not flare up some sort of OD or med-combo issue(s)).

I do realize my first medicine I ever was put on for anxiety, valium, 30mgs daily was the best for me. I am bringing my script of klonopin with me to my doc. visit this week, placing it on the desk, and asking him to switch me back to the 30mgs of valium per day.

1mg clonazapam in my eyes and many others is = 10mgs valium (although valium has much better muscle relaxation effects, hence my reason for wanting it back).

Also, my combination of ativan (lorazepam) and valium (diazepam) was the best for me, even though many people find ativan useless, it helps me with panic attacks within minutes. Doesn't make you loopy (especially me with my high tolerance) and really works well alongside valium.

So I will be asking for 3mgs of ativan a day with my valium although I may not get either because my 'drug addiction specialist psychologist" believes valium is more addicting than klonopin. That's a joke, they are just as equally addictive, although more people tend to abuse valium I have always been good and never abused my meds, no history of doing so, no charges, nothing.

If my doc. doesn't give me what I truly need to help my insomnia (valium is helping much more I've noticed, only have a few though) I will quit going to him (I pay $200 a visit anyway, other doctors my insurance covers) and find a doctor willing to listen to me, since I have researched and chosen my bipolar meds myself and they have helped me the best so far, very large difference in my day to day life (loving it!).

I deserve to be on valium & ativan, was for many years, and it helps me greatly. Not to mention I dropped my suboxone dosage down by half, now only 8mgs Rxed a day - taking 4mgs a day to try and taper and save some medication so I don't have to pay so much money for more). Even my parole officer told me to be careful and she is fine with me taking it and believes it helps me, which is good to know she trusts me with my medications.

-dp

Oh and by the way I am grabbing my vitamins this week, more than likely tomorrow and if it helps me I will write up a report and make a thread on it since I know more about insomnia than most (as others do as well who experienced it/have it chronically like me).
 
I have trouble sleeping as well. After I stopped drinking myself to sleep every night, I found that 100mg of trazodone knocked me out AND I never built a tolerance to it. However, I am now seeing a new Dr and he gives me Remeron. It definitely works, but not as good as trazodone. The only reason I'm not switching back to traz is because Remeron has much better anti-anxiety and anti-depressant qualities.
 
dragonslayer428 said:
I have trouble sleeping as well. After I stopped drinking myself to sleep every night, I found that 100mg of trazodone knocked me out AND I never built a tolerance to it. However, I am now seeing a new Dr and he gives me Remeron. It definitely works, but not as good as trazodone. The only reason I'm not switching back to traz is because Remeron has much better anti-anxiety and anti-depressant qualities.
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Trazodone works well maybe 2 days, then stopped working for me (tried multiple times). Remeron worked for me when I was young (about 12yrs old) and taking adderall. But not that I've matured, body has changed and such, doesn't help at all anymore either.

I love using old school meds, such as Remeron, they can be very helpful if you do your research and give 'em a try. I recommend to anyone with sleep problems to try Remeron first before saying "Nah, wont work for me."

-dp
 
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