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For the opiate feens....Do you live to get high?

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Khadijah

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I kno that I sure as fuck dont know wat Id do if I got sent to IOP or some other place where I never had a chance to use. Its bad enough goin to the courthouse once a week for a piss test.

Wat would you do if you couldnt use the drugs that keeps u sane? Who here is pretty much livin to use and usin to live? Do you think youd b able to handle it pretty good if you had to stop , forcibly like on some go to jail if you piss dirty, and piss tests 3 times a week type shit? Or is gettn high the only thing u really care about and the only thing that keeps you goin day to day, the only reason you wake up in the morning?
 
I don't really consider myself a fiend, but I could live without opiates. Lately I've been doing them alot because its situationally easier for me(I can snort a bag, won't smell, easy to conceal) and I am functional on them. I like xanax, but I end up eating too much and passing out. Weed is my staple, but unfortunately it smells too strongly to get away with using in many situations
 
I don't think I do lacey, but I would be hard pressed to tell what else I live for at this point.
 
lacey k said:
I kno that I sure as fuck dont know wat Id do if I got sent to IOP or some other place where I never had a chance to use. Its bad enough goin to the courthouse once a week for a piss test.
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That would absolutely suck to have to go into the courthouse to do a piss test, thankfully the stuff I do I'm prescribed, but a few years ago it would've really sucked (prior to getting scripts)

lacey k said:
Wat would you do if you couldnt use the drugs that keeps u sane?
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I honestly don't know, my life would suck complete ASS, I don't even really wanna think about it.

lacey k said:
Who here is pretty much livin to use and usin to live?
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that'd be me... my script runs out early every month because my doctor doesn't want to prescribe me anything stronger for my pain, so I'm pretty much always blowing my money on stuff I shouldn't have to. I have legit pain, and an MRI to back it up, but it still doesn't matter, which is one reason why I got a new referral to a new doctor, but that won't happen for another few months, cause the new doctor I'm gonna go to is backed up that much sadly.


lacey k said:
Do you think youd b able to handle it pretty good if you had to stop , forcibly like on some go to jail if you piss dirty, and piss tests 3 times a week type shit? Or is gettn high the only thing u really care about and the only thing that keeps you goin day to day, the only reason you wake up in the morning?
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as much as I'd hate to have to quit, I'd rather not fail a drug test and be in jail, I've gone to jail (not prison) twice for stupid shit, so I got a taste of what jail life would be like, and I definitely wouldn't want to be locked up for 1+ years. when I was in jail for 18 hours I went absolutely crazy, I have a medium case of ADHD, I tried meds for it, but that wasn't the route for me so I just deal with it, but sitting in that concrete cell with a stranger was probably one of the worst, if not the worst, things I've EVER had to do, and I could only imagine being in jail and being there for months and months if not years+, I'd go literally insane. I'd get up and walk around the small cell, looking out the small ass window you have to the hallway, just trying to see civilization of some sort. But I'm kinda glad I've gone to jail for minor stuff, cause if I did something major, like rob someone, or steal a car, or whatever it might be, you're going to be in jail for awhile, and it'd be the most depressing thing EVER, could you imagine having to write letters to your family and friends, and that being the only means of communication you have with them? cause you sure as hell can't drive over to see someone, give them a call or text, or an email or whatever.


sorry for the semi-novel... I got on a roll and couldn't stop lol =D%);):)
 
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really good question- no not anymore, but once i get in the groove and catch a habit the dope becomes more and more important- and i'm so used to doin everything on it- i had three periods in my life with no D and evertime after like forty days or so i ask myself how much of a fuckin idiot am i for goin down that road again- in all my years on this shit the thing that always gets me is boredom- and funny as it sounds dope takes me home to the city with people, bodegas, laundromats, sidewalks, etc. all the sights and sounds i remember from bein a kid in the boros- because the suburbs are so fuckin quiet and boring- no matter the swimmin pools, flat screens, computers and all that material shit- no action at night just the sound of crickets- sorry its not such a direct answer but its the best i can put why i like the junkie life
 
skinnyDog said:
really good question- no not anymore, but once i get in the groove and catch a habit the dope becomes more and more important- and i'm so used to doin everything on it- i had three periods in my life with no D and evertime after like forty days or so i ask myself how much of a fuckin idiot am i for goin down that road again- in all my years on this shit the thing that always gets me is boredom- and funny as it sounds dope takes me home to the city with people, bodegas, laundromats, sidewalks, etc. all the sights and sounds i remember from bein a kid in the boros- because the suburbs are so fuckin quiet and boring- no matter the swimmin pools, flat screens, computers and all that material shit- no action at night just the sound of crickets- sorry its not such a direct answer but its the best i can put why i like the junkie life
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I hear you on that 100%, dope brought me home too and it makes u feel alive to just be there in the hood cruisin on a summer day high with not a care in the world back to where u came from and u just feel at peace with shit like there aint nothing more you want for. the boredom will drive u to suicide when u leave that, as well as dope behind.
 
The hood is always an interesting place. Even before I started using dope I would just enjoy cruising thru that section of the city, seeing the sights it has and the people on the streets. No wonder so many people come from the burbs to cop their drugs-not only do they get a fix, but they get to enjoy sights other than empty roads and mcmansions whilst doing so
 
in answer to the thread title: yes, but on the way u might catch some nice tunes and grab some titties and decide that its not that simple =D
 
I would never put or get myself in a position where I could not have access to the drugs of my choice, it's not like you can't see it comin, it is all about priorities. ;)
 
you know lacey, its the row houses and small apartment buildings, street corners-not this twisty-turny bullshit (with names like whispering pines that some plastic real estate chic made up cause she thought it sounded "quaint"), its the people from every part of the world and every skin color,it is the STREET-and i don't mean that in any tough guy way, but i like it when i don't have to drive 10 fuckin miles to get a pack of smokes, when i know people just by noddin my head, its buyin a screwdriver in neighborhood hardware store where i know the owner( instead of HOMEfuckinDEPOT to save 30 cents)- i got a million reasons why the street is so wrapped up with my addiction but its mainly cause i'm in my natural element-and its funny cause i lived in a small town far out on L.I. for years and except for the different type buildings and other inner city type shite, i got along just fine and had more friends in my first month there than i do in almost 7 months here( i don't know a fuckin soul, nobody comes out to actually enjoy their green lawns, i honestly wouldn't know the people next store if they passed me on the street- so even if they were actually sellin fire D next house over- i'd still head for the concrete jungle, cause even at its worst at least what i'm lookin at is real ( yeah, i know everybody is fuckin and suckin, and shootin, and smokin and , and stealin and cheatin snortin here in the burbs, thry're just real sneaky and act like all of it is below them) sory for the off topic rant!
 
The way I see it everyone lives to get high whether its with or without drugs.
All of us are slaves to dopamine etc.
 
Users come to associate the ghetto with their drug, using it, and its effects. I'd find it hard to believe that someone from a McMansion suburb likes cruising through there for any other reason. If they think otherwise, I'd like to see them living there.


As for living to get high... I used to, when I was a heavy daily addict for a couple years. This was a long time ago though. I couldn't do it again. The ups and downs and having all of your real happiness in a little glassine and syringe. No thanks.
 
norco said:
you're going to be in jail for awhile, and it'd be the most depressing thing EVER, could you imagine having to write letters to your family and friends, and that being the only means of communication you have with them? cause you sure as hell can't drive over to see someone, give them a call or text, or an email or whatever.
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Yeah I was locked up for a while, and it DOES fuckin suck. You eventually get

used to it, and it isnt as bad, but you still think of home every day. Luckily for

me, when I was locked up, I wasnt a dope head yet. Now when Im doing stupid

shit, or I gotta go to probation to piss, I think about how horrible it would be to

be fuckin kickin in jail. Ive seen plenty of people go through it, but you can never

fully understand it until youre the dope head. Hopefully I wont have to go thru

that shit. One, Im not planning on getting locked up again lol, and two, Im in

the process of trying to get off the junk. I bought some Suboxone and was

taking them for a day, but Im not ready to just stop out of nowhere. Ive been

doing less the past week, so Im hoping to cut down some, then hopefully end it

by jumping back in the Subs, because they definitely work, and theyre cheap. ;)
 
lacey k said:
Wat would you do if you couldnt use the drugs that keeps u sane? Who here is pretty much livin to use and usin to live? Do you think youd b able to handle it pretty good if you had to stop? Or is gettn high the only thing u really care about and the only thing that keeps you goin day to day, the only reason you wake up in the morning?
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Wat would you do if you couldnt use the drugs that keeps u sane?

Sleep as much as humanly possible, totally dissociate myself from society and almost completely withdraw from society (ie. hide in my room), try to gather every ounce of motivation I could just to leave the house and go to a meeting or something - ANYTHING - to kill the boredom.

Who here is pretty much livin to use and usin to live?

I live for life itself, not just for dope. My problem is that I've found that dope just makes everything soooo much more bearable if not downright enjoyable. So, no - I don't "live to use" - I don't feel as if I'd have nothing to live for if I had never even gone down this path (or if dope no longer existed).

Also, it just masks the pain SOOO WELL... Life IS painful, my life at least. I've been through sooo much shit in life - having my heart torn out by girls... Being incredibly stressed and simultaneously 100% depressed... Feeling as if I'll never live up to peoples' expectations for me... Having to deal - every fucking day - with my overly-anxious and obsessive personality (as in, worrying and obsessing about shit, CONSTANTLY)... Being betrayed by people you THOUGHT were your friends, or potentially your next girlfriend, or your "most trustworthy" connection... Having one of your life-long friends jump off a 200+ foot bridge - right in front of his own PARENTS - to his inevitable death. I've been there, done that...

I'm NOT looking for sympathy, just trying to make a point - if it weren't for dope, these are the things I'd constantly be thinking/worrying about. A few glassine bags every day - up the ole' sniffer in my case - and I'm no longer anxious, sad, and obsessing. It's my medicine - my anti-depressant. My painkiller. Not just physically, but even more so mentally...

Not to mention the physical enjoyment - it makes me feel GREAT. And as we all know, probably too well, the opposite of this physical enjoyment (withdrawal) is pure fucking HELL. I'd get through it I'm sure - but I'm even MORE sure that it would be the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I know I need to WANT IT first (And right now, I DON'T want to be off it!).

So, the short answer - no, I don't live for dope... But dope sure as shit helps ME to enjoy life. Would I be able to survive without it? If it ALL just disappeared one day, off the face of the earth? Yes, I would... BUT - I wouldn't find life nearly as enjoyable, relaxing, and/or care-free. It's my crutch, I guess.

If you think about it, *almost* everyone has their "thing" - their own dirty little secret that they do when nobody's looking (and others, when people ARE looking). For most, it's alcohol, of course... The "socially acceptable", 100%-consequence-free "legal" escape. For us, it's dope. For others, it's sex/prostitution. Others, gambling. Others - food. Whatever floats your boat, in my opinion. I'm no angel, so I'm not gonna bust YOUR ass for not being a saint, either. Live it up, you can't do it over.

Sorry for the tangent. Just my two cents.
 
I live both in Chicago and LA. When am in Chicago i use a lot of different opiates but in LA when i have to go live with my mom it sucks i mean am not addicted or anything but i have to stop doing all the drugs here because i cant get em. It really sucks because i love being opiated its the best feeling to me in this world and its taken away:( I just have to settle for the really good bud we have here in cali.
 
Dankycodone said:
I live both in Chicago and LA. When am in Chicago i use a lot of different opiates but in LA when i have to go live with my mom it sucks i mean am not addicted or anything but i have to stop doing all the drugs here because i cant get em. It really sucks because i love being opiated its the best feeling to me in this world and its taken away:( I just have to settle for the really good bud we have here in cali.
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Uhhhh, you're talking about the same LA that contains Hollywood, correct? The one with the infamous 'Skid Row'? The City of Angels? Also known as 'Los Angeles'? And NOT the LA also known as Louisiana? ...

AND YOU CAN'T FIND ANY 'SUBSTANCES' BESIDES A BIT OF GREEN?!?!

Dude, I have a feeling that you simply aren't looking hard enough. Because Los Angeles is fucking LOADED with drugs. Give it time and keep your eyes and ears open. Eventually you'll find what you're lookin' for (lots of tar around, from what I've heard).

Then again, I don't know how old you are - if you're only like 13 years old, that would probably make things tough. If you're 18+ though, grab some friends and hit a fucking nightclub or something.

EVERY time you meet a new person, your chances of finding a connect are increasing!
 
i was born without em, i can live without em. Though i may climb a clocktower with a few guns in the process of giving up my opiates :D

But as it stands i just moved to hawaii i cant find SHIT! I did find a methadone and dilaudid "source". Though he rarely ever has either cuz he's a fiend.

BTW anyone ever heard of a doctor prescribing methadone 5mg AND dilaudid 4mg for pain at the same time? I find that hard to believe... but i suppose it could be true? Guy told me they're both for back pain but i'm guessing he got that methadone from a clinic and dilaudid from a doc and neither know about either.
 
^quite likely, although not really your business. I'd respect dudes privacy/whitelies.

Yes Ive known people prescribed both methadone and oxy. A little different but not much.

dude in LA, how I envy you. If I were in LA I'd have drugs in an hour flat out of LAX. (Says the white dude from bumfuck egypt who's never been there) but Im sure I could.

OP, No I do not "live to get high", I get high maybe once every two or three weeks to keep life spicy, other than that I've been living to "not" get high almost. Really trying to get off sub (not that it gets me high).
 
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