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  • Film & TV Moderators: ghostfreak

films: Cinematic Devices That You Hate...

I hate screaming useless women in movies who always manage to tag along while on the run, right after their own husband or lover is brutally killed & end up fucking the "hero" in a seedy motel the very same night.

Also, I can live with trilogies etc, but I completely detest when the scrappy doo type character is introduced, when it turns out the "hero" has a son.
 
In scary movies, when the person hears a creepy ass noise coming from inside the house/upstairs/in a different room, and they fucking WALK TOWARD IT.... the first thing i'd do is get the fuck outta there....

there's many more but i cant seem to think of them right now
 
i have to disagree on that one. when i hear a creepy ass noise in my house, i investigate it. :)

Yeah, but would you do it completely in the dark or would you actually put the light on? I can see you dressed in a frilly négligé armed with your trusty clothes iron =D
 
characters who whisper every single line to enhance creepiness/atmosphere

yeah, i'm only referring to every m night shyamalan film. fuck that guy, that hack.
 
Not a device, but something else that annoys me is when a character hangs up a phone without saying "bye". Who doesn't say "bye"?

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN THE MOVIES? I'm so glad someone else noticed this as well. It drives me nuts and it seems to happen so often. Everyone says bye. WTF.

I also really hate how people in the movies will go to someones house they have never met before, to talk to them or ask them something, and instead of knocking they just walk in and start looking around. Wtf? Thats a good way to get shot.

I HATE whenever someone is running away from some sort of psycho-killer or monster or whatever and they fall, letting the thing catch up to them. I can tell you this, if someone is chasing after me with the intent to do harm, there is no way in hell my ass is falling down.

There are certain ones that are really lame but I have a kinda love/hate relationship with, lol :D Like.. I love the whole "no man left behind" thing. Like someone will have been with their squad in the army or something and some horrible thing happened where they had to escape and left a member of their team to die and then are forever haunted by it.. and then later in the movie they get their amazing chance to be a hero and redeem themselves, and its always really dramatic like "NO! I WONT LEAVE YOU!" while they are having a flashback of their lost teammate.. its best if its in a sitation where someone is going to fall and they catch them and are hanging there, looking into each others eyes, and then the flashback gives them the strength to pull them up at the last second and out of harms way.. aahaha god I love it. ;)
 
When complete stupidity is required from the main character(s) in order to advance the plot.
"Hmm, a psychopath. I saw that guy bury a body in his garden. I'm gonna dig it up! Ah - I hear screaming coming from the house... I'm going to wander in and investigate".


Why does no one ever pay taxi/cab drivers in movies?


Why do computers tend to have have monochrome displays? Or better yet, black background with green cursor displays.
Also... would it be so hard to hire someone (say... an undergrad compsci for £5 an hour) to point out computer tech-babble which actually makes no sense or is wrong?
 
When the bad guy catches the good guy, then wastes just enough time talking nonsense for the good guy to figure a way out of the predicament.

If it were "real life", the bad guy wouldn't waste any time. He'd off the fucker right there.
 
Or in the case of the bad guy, not even time to figure a way out. Just time to run off!

*good guy jumps out, points gun at other bad guy*
Good guy: "I have you now!"
*Good guy waits, as though expecting a response*
*Bad guy ducks and runs around the corner*

Resume chase....
 
characters who whisper every single line to enhance creepiness/atmosphere

yeah, i'm only referring to every m night shyamalan film. fuck that guy, that hack.
I simply hate whispering on any medium. I don't really know why, I kinda feel like there's something smug about it. It just really grates...
 
Its not a "device" but something that pisses me off to no end is how characters talk extremely softly and you have to turn the volume wayyy up to hear them, but the action noises or music is blasting loud. Damn it, it needs to be the opposite. I might just be hard of hearing though, I have a difficult time hearing people in real life as well and have to ask them to repeat often. :(
 
I always find it funny when a detective is trying to solve a case, goes to some key person's house (the criminal's ex-girlfriend, boss, mother, etc), asks, like, 3 questions, and then says "thanks for your time".

Detective: "I'm Jack Carter. I'm a private dick. Mind if I ask you some questions?"
Lady: "Sure. I got nothing better to do."
Detective: "So you used to be Rico's girlfriend?"
Lady: "Yeah and he was a real louse. He used to beat me and then he took off with some blonde bimbo without even saying goodbye"
Detective: "And idea where he is?"
Lady: "I haven't seen him in months. I say good riddance."
Detective: "OK, thanks for your time, ma'am."

I can think of about 900 other questions that might be helpful in finding this dude. Like "What kind of car does he drive?" or "What are his regular hangouts?" or the obvious one "Do you know anyone else who might know where he is?"
Now I realize that a dude asking a bunch of questions for 15 minutes would not make the best entertainment. But come on, if he drove 2 hours to meet this lady, he'd like to make it worth his time.

On the flip side, it's kinda gay when a cop goes into a rough neighborhood and some black badass is way too willing to talk to cops.
Cop: "I hear you used to hang out with Rico. We're looking for him."
Gangsta: "I don't know nothing, man."
Cop: "You can tell us here or we can take you back to the station ask you there. Now where is he?"
Gangsta: "OK, man, I saw him last week at the pool hall. I hear he's started working for Big Lou. I swear that's all I know."

You see this more in cop TV shows than in movies but it happens a lot.

Another stupid device is when the witness won't talk so the cop puts his gun to the crook's head and pretends like he's going to shoot him if he won't talk. The other cop goes "My partner's serious! He's crazy, man! So you better tell us where Mr. Big is hiding out! He'll do it!"
 
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