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Should I make my friends pay??

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
1,297
Location
Looking-Glass Land
I had a situation occur last night, and I need some advice on how to handle it.

My bf and I had a "post Mardi Gras" party at our apartment. We had about 10 guests, and everyone was drunk and/or high. 2 of my friends lost their balance and knocked into my bookcase which houses several antiques. A large hand blown decorative glass piece was the victim. This is my absolute favorite piece my mom (antique dealer) has given me. One of the long glass arms broke off completely, and into 2 pieces.

This made me sick to my stomach. My friends felt absolutely awful about it and said they would pay. I told them that we would worry about it in a couple days when we were sober enough to think about it.

I talked to my mom about the incident, and needless to say she is very upset. The good news is that the glass piece is not an antique, so it is replacable. the bad news is, it cannot be repaired. The worst news is that the original price is over $900 USD.

I am not sure how to handle this. If the trinket was a mere $60, I would have no problem asking them to fork over the dough. I feel horrible asking them to pay so much, but at the same time I feel obligated to have it replaced. They broke it, it was an accident, and it is their fault.

Any advice??
 
^^ lol ummm no it isn't.

If I were in that situation, I wouldn't expect them to pay me anything. But if you want them to pay and if they're happy to, I would be honest and tell your friends how much it was worth. But also say that you don't expect them to fork up the entire amount but if they could reimburse you whatever they can afford that would be greatly appreciated.
 
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no thats ridiculous (expecting them to pay)

if you didn't want your antiques trashed them maybe you should have not let drunken guests stumble around near them.

Totally your responsibility.

Now you learned to be more careful with your antiques, I hope.
 
^Agreed.

Also, if you didn't warn them beforehand how much these antiques were worth, that's ridiculously unfair. $450 a piece might be half their monthly paycheck, depending.
 
four said:
I had a situation occur last night, and I need some advice on how to handle it.

My bf and I had a "post Mardi Gras" party at our apartment. We had about 10 guests, and everyone was drunk and/or high. 2 of my friends lost their balance and knocked into my bookcase which houses several antiques. A large hand blown decorative glass piece was the victim. This is my absolute favorite piece my mom (antique dealer) has given me. One of the long glass arms broke off completely, and into 2 pieces.

This made me sick to my stomach. My friends felt absolutely awful about it and said they would pay. I told them that we would worry about it in a couple days when we were sober enough to think about it.

I talked to my mom about the incident, and needless to say she is very upset. The good news is that the glass piece is not an antique, so it is replacable. the bad news is, it cannot be repaired. The worst news is that the original price is over $900 USD.

I am not sure how to handle this. If the trinket was a mere $60, I would have no problem asking them to fork over the dough. I feel horrible asking them to pay so much, but at the same time I feel obligated to have it replaced. They broke it, it was an accident, and it is their fault.

Any advice??
Click to expand...


Have you considered going on 'Judge Judy???????????' 8)

Or giving up antiques ????? Or friends ?????????
8o
 
I don't think it's appropriate to ask them to pay, but you should let them know how much it cost, how you feel about it, and in the future you should be more careful where you party.

:)
 
I wouldn't expect them to pay, but since they offered I'd definitely make it a point to let them know how much they were worth. If they don't have much money, maybe they will at least try to make good on their offer and give you something.
 
from now on any time i break anything i am going to blame my friends and ask them to pay for it..................or else i will go to Judge Judy..................

...............just broke a nail..........i'm ringing my lawyer=D
 
If you've got house contents insurance claim on that, if you don't have it claim on your mum's contents insurance. If she's got a shop she must have it there to.
It's the easiests way out.
 
I wouldn't expect, or allow, my friends to pay for something they broke, unless they were doing something that I'd already asked them not to do in my house.

Breakages like the one you described are just part of the risk you run when you have people over at your place.
 
as a person who lives a dirty rock n roll lifestyle and has TONS of afterparties at my shitty townhouse apartment - the verdict is NO.

my furniture are also antiques. everything from my tables, lamps, and sofas are from the 1960s, and originally were owned by my grandparents at this jazz bar they owned.

so far - a retro lamp shade and an entire one person couch/seat has been broken. although it did get me sick to my stomach, like you explained, it's difficult to expect them to pay when you are a hosting a party where people are fucked up.

it would be nice if people could take responsibility for their actions, but we live in a world where this is entirely not the case.
 
Sort of surprised at the responses so far. Not so much because of the answers, but the amount of conviction. I don't think this is such an easy decision and if it was, I doubt the OP would be soliciting our advice.

I have a hand-made chess board that was broken a couple years ago when my roomy had friends over. I was out for the night. When I came home, he refused to take any responsibility and claimed he didn't know how it broke.

I know this situation is a bit different, but I think if she doesn't get some sort of compensation then she won't be able to trust anyone in her apartment. That's how I felt. I even started locking some of my stuff in my room after that.
 
Kyk said:
Sort of surprised at the responses so far. Not so much because of the answers, but the amount of conviction. I don't think this is such an easy decision and if it was, I doubt the OP would be soliciting our advice.
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i agree.

how anyone can say this is 100% your responsibility, four, i don't know. it's easy to sit here, see this issue in stark relief and pronounce what should be the case.

for what it's worth, my knee-jerk reaction is that they broke it and they should accept responsibility for their actions and pay for it. further, they offered to pay for it - you should not offer to pay for something and not be prepared to put your money where your mouth is.

alasdair
 
you should always lock your valuables in your room when you are hosting a party. I learned this the hard way. almost every weekend, as I said earlier, my place gets ransacked with people - and one time my digital camera got stolen.

it was Mardi Gras and I'll bet that you were all drinking/partying heavily. when heavy drinking comes into play most people get sloppy drunk. when most people get sloppy drunk things break.

there is a certain responsibility you accept when you host parties where the partiers are going to be indulging.

it's just a broken heirloom. granted, it had sentimental value - but it is just a thing, after all. I would just chalk it up to experience and move on.

however, I would also keep the antiques in a more safe location. nonetheless, good luck with your no-doubt controversial decision :)
 
I always 'idiot proof' the premises before a party and thought this was standard practice.
If you have a get together at your house, it's on you too remove valuables so there's no theft/breakages.

If they wanna chip in it would be nice but it shouldn't be them solely paying.
 
Kyk said:
Sort of surprised at the responses so far. Not so much because of the answers, but the amount of conviction. I don't think this is such an easy decision and if it was, I doubt the OP would be soliciting our advice.

I have a hand-made chess board that was broken a couple years ago when my roomy had friends over. I was out for the night. When I came home, he refused to take any responsibility and claimed he didn't know how it broke.

I know this situation is a bit different, but I think if she doesn't get some sort of compensation then she won't be able to trust anyone in her apartment. That's how I felt. I even started locking some of my stuff in my room after that.
Click to expand...

Your situation is disanalogous...so much so that its deceptive to use it to compare to this current situation.

Obviously if you are out and your shit gets trashed by your roommate and his friends, then your roommate ought to step up and help you out with it (partially at the very least but most people would expect the roomie to pay for it all).

Different context entirely, Kyk.
 
axl blaze said:
there is a certain responsibility you accept when you host parties where the partiers are going to be indulging.
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This is a direct explanation to Alasdair's befuddlement at our response.

and

alasdairm said:
for what it's worth, my knee-jerk reaction is that they broke it and they should accept responsibility for their actions and pay for it. further, they offered to pay for it - you should not offer to pay for something and not be prepared to put your money where your mouth is.

alasdair
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maybe you should stop using your knee-jerk reactions to judge moral scenarios :\

Get a better reason, friend, otherwise people are never going to take you seriously in discussions like this.
 
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