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Bloody NA group, man

blackCat5

blackCat5

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 22, 2025
Messages
41
4th and last time today that i get there while feeling like shit and really needing support just to find the goddamn place closed, why wont they notify you about it? Made me so fuckin pissed that the last 3 times it happened i went straight to the dope
i am far from my hometown and have nowhere and no one to go to besides that place, and most the people there dont even know about heroin addiction (its not popular drug here) so they tell me shit like "stop taking methadone you dont need it" when i tell em i am not even 2 weeks clean, and their puritan mindset about weed being bad is a huge problem to me because weed has been saving my life these days
Also most of em are old people who have been like 10 or 20 years sober, so i basically cannot relate, or connect with them, especially cus they think i can go cold turkey and nothing will happen... Fucks sake, i woulda done some bullshit if i had no methadone right now
Gotta find some other way to support my recovery
I hate this whole thing, it's so fucking corny sometimes, idk, i'm too dead inside to be on board with corny, overly positive/cheerful shit
No judgement if that stuff makes you feel good, lol

I think i shoulda posted this on "the dark side" or idk
 
I agree, I'm glad you posted this. The way the world looks at addiction is rapidly changing in modern settings, however, old school addicts follow the trend set forth by AA as the cure all way to sobriety through abstinence and nothing more.
I feel bad for your situation, but I also sense your desire and determination to put the past behind you and start over again. You may have to deal with what is available to you, even though it is not ideal for your circumstance. Are there any churches or clergy in your area that can act as a substitute for support and recovery? If you want to get clean there are no real excuses that can stop you. It's just easier going through shit with someone in a similar situation. You can provide support and hold each other accountable but given the circumstances you describe you may have to get clean on your own or make a buddy from another source that may not fully understand your addiction.
Your situation might not be best scenario for what you have in mind, however, determination and strong will, will get you where you want to go by the choices you make. Don't get lost by your anger and frustration, you have a goal, it's up to you how long you want to take to achieve it.
 
M!$TER-ED said:
I agree, I'm glad you posted this. The way the world looks at addiction is rapidly changing in modern settings, however, old school addicts follow the trend set forth by AA as the cure all way to sobriety through abstinence and nothing more.
I feel bad for your situation, but I also sense your desire and determination to put the past behind you and start over again. You may have to deal with what is available to you, even though it is not ideal for your circumstance. Are there any churches or clergy in your area that can act as a substitute for support and recovery? If you want to get clean there are no real excuses that can stop you. It's just easier going through shit with someone in a similar situation. You can provide support and hold each other accountable but given the circumstances you describe you may have to get clean on your own or make a buddy from another source that may not fully understand your addiction.
Your situation might not be best scenario for what you have in mind, however, determination and strong will, will get you where you want to go by the choices you make. Don't get lost by your anger and frustration, you have a goal, it's up to you how long you want to take to achieve it.
Click to expand...
I basically agree. Also I absolutely have no problem with the praying. I do however look at it as a cult.( AA) NA, is similar and probably has that vibe.

Not, Branch Davidians, People's Temple( Jonestown). ect. But a weird, I guess helpful, cult like aura?

From what I understand they are similar.

Pride and arrogance, plays a part in the older guys, bs. ( I have heard that one too many times,lol) (Complaints about the older guys.)
------
Congratulations, you haven't shot up in 20 years. I have not shot up in almost 50 years.lol (I wouldn't mess with H).
------
Besides my grand mother was sober 90-100 years before she died.lol She would never touch anything.lol

Those types seem to miss; certain key aspects to recovery.( From what you said; these guys are not helping, very much.)

Hopefully, you can get past this.
 
blackCat5 said:
4th and last time today that i get there while feeling like shit and really needing support just to find the goddamn place closed, why wont they notify you about it? Made me so fuckin pissed that the last 3 times it happened i went straight to the dope
i am far from my hometown and have nowhere and no one to go to besides that place, and most the people there dont even know about heroin addiction (its not popular drug here) so they tell me shit like "stop taking methadone you dont need it" when i tell em i am not even 2 weeks clean, and their puritan mindset about weed being bad is a huge problem to me because weed has been saving my life these days
Also most of em are old people who have been like 10 or 20 years sober, so i basically cannot relate, or connect with them, especially cus they think i can go cold turkey and nothing will happen... Fucks sake, i woulda done some bullshit if i had no methadone right now
Gotta find some other way to support my recovery
I hate this whole thing, it's so fucking corny sometimes, idk, i'm too dead inside to be on board with corny, overly positive/cheerful shit
No judgement if that stuff makes you feel good, lol

I think i shoulda posted this on "the dark side" or idk
Click to expand...
Absolutely agree with everything you said. They are just so overbearing and judgmental. Literally who in their right mind would tell someone to go cold turkey off of methadone. Also if someone wants to smoke some goddamn weed but also wants a sense of community to hopefully help get their life back on track then who tf are you to look down from your high horse and single someone out and ostracize them. (Rant over because this is something I also find irritating)
 
M!$TER-ED said:
I agree, I'm glad you posted this. The way the world looks at addiction is rapidly changing in modern settings, however, old school addicts follow the trend set forth by AA as the cure all way to sobriety through abstinence and nothing more.
I feel bad for your situation, but I also sense your desire and determination to put the past behind you and start over again. You may have to deal with what is available to you, even though it is not ideal for your circumstance. Are there any churches or clergy in your area that can act as a substitute for support and recovery? If you want to get clean there are no real excuses that can stop you. It's just easier going through shit with someone in a similar situation. You can provide support and hold each other accountable but given the circumstances you describe you may have to get clean on your own or make a buddy from another source that may not fully understand your addiction.
Your situation might not be best scenario for what you have in mind, however, determination and strong will, will get you where you want to go by the choices you make. Don't get lost by your anger and frustration, you have a goal, it's up to you how long you want to take to achieve it.
Click to expand...
yes so far my only option is to find online friends who at least know what heroin is, and hopefully they won't be twice my age, with completely different struggles, etc
if i had more real life company, i woulda managed a longer "clean" time, but in my situation its very easy to isolate myself...

About the church... Yeah, last time i was being taken there, all i found was ignorance and judgement.
 
Jnowhere said:
I basically agree. Also I absolutely have no problem with the praying. I do however look at it as a cult.( AA) NA, is similar and probably has that vibe.

Not, Branch Davidians, People's Temple( Jonestown). ect. But a weird, I guess helpful, cult like aura?

From what I understand they are similar.

Pride and arrogance, plays a part in the older guys, bs. ( I have heard that one too many times,lol) (Complaints about the older guys.)
------
Congratulations, you haven't shot up in 20 years. I have not shot up in almost 50 years.lol (I wouldn't mess with H).
------
Besides my grand mother was sober 90-100 years before she died.lol She would never touch anything.lol

Those types seem to miss; certain key aspects to recovery.( From what you said; these guys are not helping, very much.)

Hopefully, you can get past this.
Click to expand...
Thanks.
And yeah its funny how they supposedly already went thru the steps and faced their own character defects, yet manage to be such prideful cunts, guess its easier to forget where you once were
 
PenguinWithNapalm said:
Absolutely agree with everything you said. They are just so overbearing and judgmental. Literally who in their right mind would tell someone to go cold turkey off of methadone. Also if someone wants to smoke some goddamn weed but also wants a sense of community to hopefully help get their life back on track then who tf are you to look down from your high horse and single someone out and ostracize them. (Rant over because this is something I also find irritating)
Click to expand...

its why i have thought that maybe NA and AA aint for me... weed is doing the opposite of harm to me

And yeah thats what i meant when i said they have not the slightest idea what an opiate addiction is, and no matter how i try to explain to them, they just think i'm weaker than them because they've never experienced a withdrawal where they needed methadone just to get out of bed... told em i wouldnt be able to even attend meetings without it, but its easier for them to just believe their crack habit is exactly the same as my dope habit, lol

i always tell anti cannabis people (idk what to call them...) "if its not for you, great, dont use it, but dont ruin it for the rest of us"
Not all of us get super fucked up and paranoid on weed (zero judgement if thats anyone's case here, as long as they understand that's not weed's problem...
 
Iv been to NA and AA. All I can say is keep coming back. It does work. I still go when I can.

The only thing is you have to want to get sober and stop jonesing your ass off all the time. Running out of money picking cigarette butts off the ground, break and enters, theft from autos, being homeless sleeping in your car in the middle of winter ect It only works when you really want to break up with the love affair of daily use. I find the best way to get sober is to keep using until jail, prison or near death. Jail and near death both worked for me really well. Its a good rock bottom to aim for.

Ps the weed doesn't help. Its an illusion. Its bad for mental health and caused me in get angry, snappy, emotionally unstable to the point the only way to wash away the chest pains of stress and axiety was to drink and or use K again.

Now a days I get crazy bored sometimes, depressed and or feel super tired at times. I think its just my mind and body still healing. Over time it gets better and hopefully will go away all together one day. Its always good to go to the meetings as a reminder how shitty it used to be using by listening to others.
 
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Huba said:
Iv been to NA and AA. All I can say is keep coming back. It does work. I still go when I can.

The only thing is you have to want to get sober and stop jonesing your ass off all the time. Running out of money picking cigarette butts off the ground, break and enters, theft from autos, being homeless sleeping in your car in the middle of winter ect It only works when you really want to break up with the love affair of daily use. I find the best way to get sober is to keep using until jail, prison or near death. Jail and near death both worked for me really well. Its a good rock bottom to aim for.

Ps the weed doesn't help. Its an illusion. Its bad for mental health and caused me in get angry, snappy, emotionally unstable to the point the only way to wash away the chest pains of stress and axiety was to drink and or use K again.

Now a days I get crazy bored sometimes, depressed and or feel super tired at times. I think it’s just my mind and body still healing. Over time it gets better and hopefully will go away all together one day. It’s always good to go to the meetings as a reminder how shitty it used to be using by listening to others.
Click to expand...

Don’t you mean - the weed doesn’t work FOR YOU?

I can’t tell you how many times I tried to quit alcohol and benzos, but after many attempts, I finally did and I think weed has helped a lot. All those other times I quit herb as well. Funny thing is, I wasn’t much of a smoker when I was a heavy drinker. I did one year completely sober, introduced weed carefully and intentionally, and now smoke weed every night (more on weekends). I’m 4 years alcohol and pill free and I am truly content (finally). Family is great, work is great, life isn’t overly complicated, I’m pretty healthy, and I have zero urge to drink, eat pills, or shove shit up my nose.

What works for you, doesn’t necessarily apply to others. It took me a long time, I’m 46.

I don’t go to AA/NA anymore either, but I’d never knock it because it’s worked for so many people I know.

Shits hard. I think it’s important to listen to a lot of people, accept a lot of help, and work really hard but it’s ultimately okay to find your own path if it works.

Plus, weed is fuckin allsum, man.
 
ChickenScratch said:
Don’t you mean - the weed doesn’t work FOR YOU?

I can’t tell you how many times I tried to quit alcohol and benzos, but after many attempts, I finally did and I think weed has helped a lot. All those other times I quit herb as well. Funny thing is, I wasn’t much of a smoker when I was a heavy drinker. I did one year completely sober, introduced weed carefully and intentionally, and now smoke weed every night (more on weekends). I’m 4 years alcohol and pill free and I am truly content (finally). Family is great, work is great, life isn’t overly complicated, I’m pretty healthy, and I have zero urge to drink, eat pills, or shove shit up my nose.

What works for you, doesn’t necessarily apply to others. It took me a long time, I’m 46.

I don’t go to AA/NA anymore either, but I’d never knock it because it’s worked for so many people I know.

Shits hard. I think it’s important to listen to a lot of people, accept a lot of help, and work really hard but it’s ultimately okay to find your own path if it works.

Plus, weed is fuckin allsum, man.
Click to expand...

Yes exactly, just because weed is really not for everyone, does not mean they get to ruin it for those of us who benefit from it.
 
SMART recovery
Evidence and science based self management and recovery training.
I used it to get off heroin. Haven’t done heroin in three years. Spent a month on bupe I got from someone. Spent two years on kratom after that. Spent a year doing 7oh off and on making my first real quits. Got a 100 days then lapsed for about six months with two two week relapses on 7. Now it’s been no opioids since September first.

I’d recommend trying smart. Buy/read the book. You can read the kindle version on your smartphone. Could really help out.
 
helpingout said:
SMART recovery
Evidence and science based self management and recovery training.
I used it to get off heroin. Haven’t done heroin in three years. Spent a month on bupe I got from someone. Spent two years on kratom after that. Spent a year doing 7oh off and on making my first real quits. Got a 100 days then lapsed for about six months with two two week relapses on 7. Now it’s been no opioids since September first.

I’d recommend trying smart. Buy/read the book. You can read the kindle version on your smartphone. Could really help out.
Click to expand...
Oh yes, someone i trust told me about SMART recovery, will definitely check out the book, thanks

And i love your black cats picture, it's beautiful 🖤🖤
 
blackCat5 said:
lol why did Huba got banned?
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He was a troll in CEPS I do not know that is the reason but he came in and 15 of his first 16 posts were just maga trolling the politic forum -- saying fairly racist shit etc

I responded to him a couple of times before realizing he was trolling
 
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