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Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 10

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RisperdalConsta50mg said:
Think about that day we are back to ourself again, what we can become again, and what kind of resilience and strenght we Will have.

The aura we Will have, we can get all the girls we missed in this time, all emotions and all the joy again, do it for these beautyful days that have to come, do it for you and for your eyes, just hold on.
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The girls part made me chuckle and smile
 
RisperdalConsta50mg said:
I’m on 14 months and i dint realize how much i recovered in this time, we all want to go back to baseline and we won’t be happy until that but if you look closer you Will see that you are not like day1.

This mean the brain is working, we know is a slow process, and because we are focused on full recovery we miss all the little steps we did.

We want to look the full home missing every single bricks, if you understeand what I mean

About your eyes, I want them to shine of happiness again, get wet because of sad emotions again, and look the beauty of life again, look your eyes in the mirror and think if they deserve to be closed forever. They don’t.
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You’re right. It’s not like day 1. In some ways I’m worse. Things have been getting worse. Some things are better but many things are much much worse. The pain and inflammation and disconnect from the body.

I want to cry so badly but I can’t… I want to cry tears of joy. I want to feel deep emotion. I want my life back…

I don’t think I can wait 24 months. That’s so long. I’m not even halfway there. I’m just 9 months along.
 
rawbanana said:
You’re right. It’s not like day 1. In some ways I’m worse. Things have been getting worse. Some things are better but many things are much much worse. The pain and inflammation and disconnect from the body.

I want to cry so badly but I can’t… I want to cry tears of joy. I want to feel deep emotion. I want my life back…

I don’t think I can wait 24 months. That’s so long. I’m not even halfway there. I’m just 9 months along.
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Things have to get worse before they get better, I’m really annoyed by tinnitus but I know this is a good sign that came out at 13 months mark, this mean my brain is working, I’m sure my tinnitus will go away in some months and i start recovery, i feel that.
 
I’m also really embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t want to be seen or show my face anywhere.
 
rawbanana said:
My digestion is completely messed up. It’s been getting worse.
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I developed inflamations of stomach and all others thing because of risperidone, i also have bad digestion, my stomach hurt a lot when i eat and sometimes i cannot retain what I eat, this is the body that keep his energy from the whole body to the brain to make him heal, body know his priority, my ankle is not healed yet because my brain come first, i know i won’t heal my ankle until my brain is healed because the body know what have to heal first
 
A lot of things in my life are very bad. Can’t enjoy anything and I am triggered by everything. I HATE my dad and my mom too. I live with them. They did this to me.

I miss playing video games and going on walks. Being in nature.
 
I don’t want to commit suicide. I have no other option. It is what I have to do. For my life, there is no recovery.
 
rawbanana said:
A lot of things in my life are very bad. Can’t enjoy anything and I am triggered by everything. I HATE my dad and my mom too. I live with them. They did this to me.

I miss playing video games and going on walks. Being in nature.
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I hate my mother and his donkey boy-friend too, they pushed me into these injections without even knowing what this drug was, my mother got a shock when she discovered it was antipsychotic injection, his monkey boy-friend dint even blink because is a piece of shit and his hyper jelaus about me and my youth (do you say jelaous in english? When you want to say that someone has envy about you)
 
RisperdalConsta50mg said:
Yes, if you are not recovered after 24 months you can think about suicide, but not after 9 months, people who recovered after 14-17 months are the proof.
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Maybe in some months i Will tell you “guys today i wake up, i feel effects of nicotine and coffe waked me very strong, i can concentrare and play videogames again, i feel like I’m coming back” then after some months will be your turn
 
RisperdalConsta50mg said:
Maybe in some months i Will tell you “guys today i wake up, i feel effects of nicotine and coffe waked me very strong, i can concentrare and play videogames again, i feel like I’m coming back” then after some months will be your turn
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It’s not a matter of “9 more months” it’s a matter of surviving, sometimes we can handle hour by hours but sometimes is a matter of second by seconds surviving, time will pass, just distract yourself, i Watch documentary just to disctract myself, like i don’t even like them but they disctrac me, they keep me busy for a while, every second, minute and hour we can discract ourself is the key to let time pass.
 
rawbanana said:
I don’t want to commit suicide. I have no other option. It is what I have to do. For my life, there is no recovery.
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The feeling you have now is temporary. Suicide is a rather permanent fix for it. If i got better you can as well
 
Sometimes i think about aliens, if out there is some civilization with milions years of evolution that can travel around the Space by fooling physic laws, i think what their medical technology is, and i think that they can heal us in some minutes with their technology.

It would be nice to be abducted by aliens and be healed in one night time then waking up the next day fully healed.

like I’m sure they have some sort of machine that regenerate every body cells and this is why They don’t age and they are healthy and they can live far longer than us.

I’m sure out there are some civilization far more advanced than us and they can instant-heal us, but since is not easy to be in touch with them and explain them our issue, we only can wait to heal.

Go to sleep, gn all (go to sleep = go try to sleep but keep awaking every 15 mins, very soft sleep, not deep, not restorative, nightmares always, etc..)
 
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