AA!
I will ALWAYS suggest checking out a few different groups with different people in them.
Personally, I’ve always enjoyed groups that have a solid number of men and women over the age of 50 and the rest to be whatever age. I find this to be a great balance, especially if you’re brand new or just going back after some time away.
You could walk into one group and you could have people there that have 10, 15, 20 years of sobriety, but not one of them have worked the steps and they’re still miserable cunts that give
awful advice to people coming in the rooms. They suck the joy and true emotion out of the entire room. Their “advice” is dangerous. Run.
You’ll find your golden nugget where the people in the group are solid. They will welcome you with open arms and it’ll feel as comfortable as you could possibly be in a room full of people you don’t know.
These people have been through the step work - but they also know the step work never stops.
**There’s no such thing as “Oh I did the steps X years ago so I’m good now”.
If you ever hear anything resembling this - stay away from that person until you’re healthy enough to catch this type of attitude on your own**
I’d also highly recommend a Women’s Only AA group. It’s never a bad idea to keep yourself cocooned within the arms of healthy women that know their shit.
Seek out women that have 5-10+ years of sobriety. Listen to what they share and how they share it.. then decide if these women have something you want. If so,
get a sponsor!
You don’t owe anyone anything.
If someone approaches you to see if you’d like them to be your sponsor but you’re not feeling it, don’t feel bad for declining. This is
your sobriety.
Your life. Find another woman that ‘fits’.
It’s best to find a sponsor as soon as you feel the ‘pull’ back into the rooms.
This feeling can be fleeting (I know - trust me
). And don’t forget - you can always change sponsors if something starts to give you a gut feeling.. something you can’t quite put your finger on, even if they’re very kind.
It really is best to get a sponsor ASAP. The sooner you begin the work, the sooner your soul will heal.
AA is a suggestion based program only.
Don’t ever allow any sponsor to try to rule your life. They’re there to guide you through the 12 steps ONLY!
They’re not your master. If they start wanting more from you than you want from them, drop them. This isn’t healthy and it won’t be good for you.
And for the love of everything holy in this world… do not date anyone in the program. Dont even let that be a thought/consideration until YOU have YOU to lean on.
Remember… AA has saved millions of people worldwide… but AA is full of sick people. It’s pertinent to keep this at the forefront of your mind. It’s a bit of a double edged sword in a way. I don’t say that to frighten you, only to make you aware. It’s easy to let your guard down and believe that since ‘so and so’ is at the meeting, that means it must be safe.
I have had zero good experiences with NA.
Honestly, NA is on my shit list (step 4). I know exactly why though.
I’m kind of tearing apart an entire program based on my own trauma from the type of people it invited into my life and what those people did to me. I’m at fault for certain things too, of course. But I was forgetting something I’ve already mentioned… 12 step programs are full of sick people.
I also really dislike their literature. It’s long and drawn out (especially when you’re ready to get moving). Step one alone has like 70 questions to answer and fill out.
Some consider it to be thorough. And It is! It can be very overwhelming when you’re already overwhelmed.
Once you’ve gotten a taste for AA step work and you’ve gotten to step 12, having a look at the NA step work wouldn’t be a terrible idea.
CA (cocaine anonymous) is also really good. I loooooved my CA home group. Very similar to AA!
I have no idea why, but I’ve had many people from different cities, provinces, and countries tell me they feel the same way I feel about NA and have noticed the same stuff.
One man in the NA groups around here would go to several. He’d tell people to “slow down.. don’t rush the steps.. do
one a year”.
At the time, if I were to listen to him, I would’ve died before I finished step one.
I’ve been going for ten years off and on. If there’s anything I can ever help you with, or try to help with, always feel free to reach out!
), I still think it’s the best set of steps/principals I’ve ever lived by and stood behind. It all made so much sense and i truly did gain a ton of beautiful things i otherwise would have never known.
