Interesting thread. I haven't gotten through a lot of the long posts yet. I probably will eventually. But I wanted to comment. Before my novel I just wanted to say I hope OP and their family are doing better. You did the right thing by trying to leave the legal system out of it as much as possible.
What gets overlooked are the words themselves and their definitions; 'psychosis' and 'schizophrenia' are very poorly defined, because the definitions like most psychological definitions are largely circular and referencing other psychological definitions.. the foundation for all of it is extremely weak.
This is a good jumping off point. Disclaimer: I haven't read the rest of these posts so some of this might have already been mentioned. Works like "schizo" and "psycho" and a bunch of other so called
mental conditions get thrown around by the general population these days like they are hard facts. But most people are unaware that the field of psychiatry was lampooned before and during the early 20th century and to this day it remains the only medical science where people gather once every few years to
vote on conditions and diagnoses. Which go into their manual they all follow called the DSM. I encourage the reader to attempt to acquire a copy of the first DSM (DSM-1) in actual print. Not a re-print, not a digital copy and actual print of the first few editions. You will discover that this book like many others has become unobtainable in the last few years. When you do find copies for sale they're for several thousand (or 10s of thousands) of USD. This despite the fact that it was widely printed and available for only a few dollars just 10 years ago. Someone has gone around and bought them all up and most likely burned a lot of copies or otherwise destroyed them.
Why would they do that? Well there are several reasons. But the main one is the widely publicized vote they took a few years back where they declared that homosexuality in its various forms is no longer a mental disorder. A long with revising a bunch of other "disorders". How is this possible? If science is the pursuit of ultimate truth how can it change willy nilly depending on the mood of society (or the direction of society based on propaganda more correctly)?
At best psychiatry is a
soft science. Most likely it's as it was seen when the field first attempted to become accepted among the wide medical community. That is: Not really a science at all. Over the years we've seen so many legitimate things declared quackery by the establishment. While they're typically pushing their own forms of quackery. Anyone that dares to ask questions or point out flaws in the accepted methods are deemed to be undesirable and excluded from participation, publication and even from society itself. But then they turn right around and tell you things like "Oh all those people 100 years ago were too ignorant to see. It took <some guy> coming along and flipping the board over before we got a real answer". It's a double standard if I've ever seen one.
This is not really the best place to go into the problems of modern science in full detail. Suffice to say a lot of people that are looked up to as idols have spewed a bunch of bullshit over the years. They are worshiped like Gods sometimes even though their theories have never been proven. Many things have been invented in an attempt to make their theories work. Yet we still have no real proof. Meanwhile, tons of other people that were excommunicated from their fields have sometimes brought forth experiments that can be repeated that are deemed to be quackery, lies and "pseudoscience". Even though you can run such experiments yourself in your own backyard with equipment anyone has laying around. Good luck getting anyone to listen though or try for themselves. Most of the true believers in science don't even read the papers or attempt to replicate experiments. Most of the modern science is impossible to even replicate on your own. They claim everything requires billions of dollars in funding and massive machines now. They come begging for more and more money every year yet they rarely give us anything of value in return. I see true believers everywhere as I walk through life. Almost none of them know what the National Science Foundation is or how grant money is distributed. There is a long list of do and do nots if you want that grant money and if you want a shot at being one of the idols. It's much like the entertainment industry in that respect.
I said all that so I could bring up the following;
Before the modern science cult (and it is a cult) was in power science was something practiced that weren't afraid to mix religion, spiritualism and the occult with their scientific research. In fact, a lot of early science hardcore atheists believe in these days came directly out of places like the Catholic Church or other large religious organizations. In reality there is no difference between studying religion, math, science, history, the occult and all the other "subjects". They are all part of the same thing and they all boil down to the same ultimate questions: Why are we here? What is this place? Why do we exist? Is there more beyond what we can sense? I assure you the answer is not 42.
In our contemporary times there is this misnomer that the science cult likes to peddle which basically boils down to people before the 20th century were ignorant and stupid. Like they had no clue. Yet our modern way of life was built on the backs of their labor and effort. In my opinion our forefathers weren't stupid. In fact, if you take the time to read the things they wrote to each other even just in casual correspondence you'll find it really hard to follow what they're saying. That's because the language they used in day-to-day life was more advanced than the dumbed down version of English (and other languages) that is used in daily life now. Even a paper published in a journal uses far simpler written language than a regular guy writing to his wife from the front lines of WW1 or the US Civil War. These people weren't dumb.
I often ask myself why did people back then do the things they did and call things by certain names? Consider the following: Why was hard alcohol called "spirits" in the English language? The answer is that it was a well known fact in those days that consuming hard liquor would "put the spirits into you". Not the good ones either. No one was channeling God or Jesus by consuming alcohol. This was a way to explain why certain people despite consuming alcohol fairly often and being able to hold their liquor could go off the rails from time to time. Act nothing like their usual self then have no memory of the events after the fact. Were they wrong about this? Does it really matter if they were? If that's not the reason does it do anything to change the outcome? The answer is no.
Many times in my life I've witnessed the "dead/black eyes" the OP of this thread talked about. As they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. If the eyes change to that extent does that mean the person you know is still inhabiting the vessel? Perhaps something else has come into it for awhile and wants to get their rocks off through violence, sex and all those other wonderful feelings something that normally doesn't inhabit a body might want to experience?
I've told this story before but I'm going to tell it again;
I had a friend. I've posted about him here many times and met him through BL. He was the only person from BL I've ever met IRL despite lurking around this place since the days when the overgrow admins and the admins here used to in-fight all of the time. In those days I lurked both forums because I had a reason outside of my own interest in drugs. But another story for another time. The friend I had wasn't one of the more well know users around here. He mostly stuck to a couple of social threads in one forum here. He didn't really like BL that much either. He moved on to reddit along with a bunch of the younger users back in the days when BL was first blacklisted from search engines and the young people were leaving forums in droves. All the activity he enjoyed had moved elsewhere and he'd gotton in trouble here for things he'd posted a couple of times through ignorance of how the old internet worked.
My friend was a very heavy IV drug user. He injected everything and it took things to the extreme. He was much younger than me but he was a really good person. He had a great soul. Despite being iffy of him the first few times we hung out we ended up becoming very close over the coures of about a year. By two years into our friendship I considered him one of my closer friends and we'd often take the 1 and 1/2 hour drives just to hang out with each other even on weekdays. We went hiking a lot. We hung out even when there weren't drugs involved. We even took several road trips to attend shows and he's the reason I got back out and more social during my darker days. I can not stress how much of a good person he was. Everyone liked him. He was kind to people. He wasn't much of a looker but all the girls liked him too. They just didn't want to date him because he was balding in his early 20s and fat as a house. He had low self esteem over that and it was a big reason why he used a lot of drugs and later alcohol. He's the only IV user I've known IRL that managed to quit the needle (with my help). He was an amazing person and I miss him everyday.
My friend had this girl he really liked and had known since he was a child. One day he showed up at my house in the middle of the night very upset. At the time he'd been using a lot of 3-meo-pcp or -pce. I can't remember which. I only knew he'd been using it because he'd brought me some to sample a few weeks before. He had it in a small bottle and would casually take bumps off of it. I warned him to be careful about that but he had this habit of pushing things to the extreme no matter what kind of drug he was using at the time.
Anyway, he showed up late one night and asked me for advice as he often did (I'd 'predicted' several problems and helped him avoid those in the past). He told me that he drove 3+ hours the weekend before to hang out at that girl's apartment with a bunch of friends. He said he'd taken a few bumps of the 3-meo with a couple of the people attending that get together. He said he'd not taken that much but he had gotten messed up enough where he dropped it in the parking lot of their apartment complex and had to spend an hour or more looking for it. They eventually found it and went back inside to continue their little party.
He told me that at some point in the night he was sitting on the couch and saw himself in the third person. He said he was floating above the group and could see everyone talking and having a good time together. He said he could see himself zonked out on the couch with black eyes much like the OP described. He said the girl he liked came and sat next to him to check on him. He said that he saw his own body look up at him and crack an evil smile then it reached out on its own and started choking the girl with his hands. He said he tried to stop it and he had no control whatsoever and he was helpless to do anything about it. Thankfully, the other people there wrestled his body to the ground and pulled him away. But it was a struggle and they all said he had super human strength and the girl thought she was going to die. Despite the fact that there were multiple large men attempting to pull him off of her they just barely got them seperated. He said at this point his body stood up on its own, walked out of the apartment and started heading for his car. Meanwhile he's still floating near the ceiling of the room and is seeing the scene of everyone freaked out and the girl crying. He tried to chase after his body and caught up to it in the parking lot. He said he watched it fall to the ground on its own then it was like he got sucked back into it against his will.
His friends finally caught up to him and they helped him back into the apartment. They said he was like dead weight and couldn't walk on his own at this point. He doesn't remember the rest of the night. He came to in the morning laying on her couch and was told to leave. In time she forgave him. But she never let him come back and rightfully so.
He basically asked me my opinion on wtf happened and if I thought there was a way he could put things right. I didn't really have any good answers at the time. He was dead a few months later. After that he quit taking all substances but turned to alcohol to cope. It was only a few months later that his liver gave out and the alcohol killed him at a very young age.
I've heard a lot of other stories about people going through something similar to my friend's story and you'll find many in text books and accounts going all the way back through history. Most people were not supposed to play around with substances on their own. It was something you were supposed to take very serious and that's why more societies had experts in this field with rituals and rules aka Shamanism. Even in the so-called "non-savage" peoples we find people similar to shamans. There has always been a priest class in society as far back as we have records. People that were supposed to consult with the spirits/other side and regularly did so through the use of substances. People that would make and consume substances then allow spirits to enter their bodies or otherwise go commune with them in the spirit world and come back with answers. Every society back through time had something like this either openly or behind the scenes (aka the occult). It was taken very serious as it should be.
Now for some this just sounds like a convenient excuse for being a jackass or doing something embarrassing and/or "evil". Every asshole drunk claims they don't remember, were blacked out or 'that's not really me'. But as common as these things are you really have to wonder if there is more too it than chemicals in the brain "bringing out the real person". I've known many people that could handle their drugs but have those one or two nights where they just flew off the rails for no reason. I've also had my own personal experiences with this kind of thing. Although I've never hurt anyone I've certainly been out of control before and sometimes felt that I wasn't the only thing in the room while I was alone. Even while sober I've had things come and visit me in the night plenty of times. I don't really have the answers for what those things are. But I can tell you they certainly stop showing up if you stop inviting them in. You can try to explain it away as sleep paralysis or taking too many drugs. But the fact is we do not really understand how the brain works and there is a lot of evidence out there that there is most likely something beyond this little bit of "reality" that we can sense. The visual spectrum is only a thing little slice compared to the entire spectrum we
know exists. They'll tell you things like radio waves are totally harmless even though we know exposure can cause cancer and that humans can sense them even though most are no actively aware of it. Which begs the question; How much do we not know yet? How much do certain people know that most of us do not?
The fact is there is mountains of writings and research to support a "spirit world" is probably out there. We've been searching for our souls for as long as people have asked the question "Why?". There are plenty stories about disembodied spirits, demons, angles and the so-called gods. There are many accounts of possessions going back through time in every society and religion. The same organization that brought you "science" like astronomy even have rituals and group of dedicated people to "cast out demons" who go all over the world to do that job even in our modern times.
There is this frankly stupid attitude these days that we can only take parts of the old ways for our "science" and declare that the rest is nonsense and useless. It's part of every modern field of study. If you attempt to study such subjects or even just talk about them you'll find yourself being shunned by your peers. A lot of people these days have been indoctrinated without even realizing it. They are the same as people the believe in religion wholeheartedly or join scam cults. The only difference is they got their indoctrination through the state's public schools and "centers of higher learning" instead of through the world's oldest books, the local church or a seminar they attended. They are true believers just like the true believers they poke fun at. But there is a funny thing about the word believe. You just have to take the root word to see it: Be-
lie-ve. It's lying to yourself.
So OP I don't know what happened. No one probably does. All I can tell you is this. It has happened to many people that play fast and loose with these substances. It even happens to people that are careful (or think they're being careful). We have a very carefree attitude towards substances like LSD in the modern life. A propaganda campaign has been going on since the 1960s that has deemed it this safe and harmless substance. Many people will come out of the wood work when you mention it sometimes causes these effects and they'll defend it to their last breath. They'll talk at length about how it saved them or helped them in some way. They always claim the problem isn't the drug itself. It was the user. The setting. The time it was taken or any other thing they can think of to prevent placing blame on the substance. They do this mostly because they don't want it demonized in the media despite the fact that the media has been actively promoting its use for decades now. They'll give you endless links to the science to claim it isn't harmful even though no one has any idea how the brain really works. They'll even shun you for posting slander against its reputation. After all. It was the chemical that sparked the summer of love and all the idols they follow swear it's one of those substances that would save mankind and bring about eternal peace if only we could dose the entire world's water supply. I guess they don't dig too deeply into who their idols were, worked for, associated with and promoted. We can't really blame them. Most people don't and most people are trusting by nature. That's why they're genrally good people at their core despite their flaws.
All I can tell you is this. Despite my username I no longer consume this substance, I suggest other people don't consume it and I am very very weary of people that do. Not because I dislike the people. I avoid the substance because of who promoted it and propagandized it. I avoid the substance because it's very new in the grand scheme of things. It hasn't even been with us for 100 years yet. Its distribution is controlled by people I didn't care for once I met them in person. There are alternatives to it that humans have been using for thousands of years with a longer track record for safety
if you take the proper precautions and follow the established rules that were written down long ago to prevent this kind of things from happening. I don't mean to insult anyone either. If LSD is giving you some kind of positive experience I'm happy for you. But if you keep playing with that fire I assure you at some point it will burn you. I hope that people that are playing with it learn that lesson the easy way instead of the hard way like so many others have in the recent past. For me I can no longr enjoy it. I don't like the way it makes me feel. I don't like what I've seen it do to people. I don't like most of the people involved with dealing it. I don't like the people that promote it and who they associate with. I do not feel it can provide any answers that can not be gotten elsewhere (and while sober).
In my experience there are two types of people that consume LSD. There are the people that just want to party and have a good time. To those people I say; There are better and safer and more fun drugs for that purpose. Then there are the people like me that take it in the search for answers. To them I say: It will not provide you with any real answers. It will only provide you with more questions. Most of which you don't want to ask yourself.
I am sorry this happened to you. Take comfort in the fact that if your relationship can survive this it can probably survive anything. I know you're a good person because you stood by your man. I hope he will return the favor and learn from this. The most important thing is the children. Which is probably why it'd be for the best if both of you don't casually consume this substance going forward in life. At least until the children are grown and have left the nest. You do not need substances to explore the unknown or to have a good time. You dream every night which is basically a free trip once you've learned how to control them or get lucky and have a nice one spontaneously. Whatever answer you're seeking can also be found there or through things like meditation. You can have a great time without substances. After all substances are supposed to
enhance the good time you're already having.
Best of luck.
