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Taking drugs forever or a youthful phase?

LucidSDreamr said:
Oh god I hope I’ll never do drugs again.

Psychedelics became repitstive and never actually felt good to me; they were just interesting way to escape how mundane reality is. I stopped them around 10 years ago because they weren’t what I was seeking, they were uncomfortable and chaotic- what I was seeking was the peace that downers bring.

Any hard drug or drug that causes dependency is a nightmare to be on long term and will destroy aspects of your health after a long time…making life even more miserable.

Weed I’m just far too addicted to to the point that there is zero control likes it’s crack and it derails my life and has damaged my lungs. But I don’t even like the weed high because it’s not relaxing like a downer - again just an escape from mundane reality
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I haven't been able to quit everything yet, but for now I'm atleast a few months off the Opioids which were starting to cause me the most problems I felt like. At some point you just get so depressed in between uses of Opi's that it doesn't really make up for the slight high you get (which isn't as good as when we had started as you know) although then I kept using for a while regardless just to get that relief, either to be normal around people or to get some proper work done.

What I would give to experience those first 4-5 years on Tramadol and/or codeine again! I was just using from time to time, somehow I always felt better the days after using Tramadol instead of feeling worse like I do now. It was like I had found a magic pill, my carreer had a huge upswing, I started to look better, I felt amazing (even with weeks without using any drugs) and just had such a positive, yet somewhat materialistic/egocentric in hindsight, outlook on life.

Wish I would have stopped that one month of vacation I had and my doc didn't prescribe Tramadol, I was having very slight withdraws then (nothing compared to the horrors I'd experience later) and I didn't want to feel like that all summer! (probably would have been just a few days of waiting it out...) Oh well, I decided to order O-DSMT online, anyway it was just a metabolite of tramadol right? Can't be much worse.

Boy did I not realize what type of ride I was getting myself on!
 
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I think my days of habitual drug taking and long term binges are probably behind me but I think I'll always dabble.

I really love being fucked up in many different varieties- frying off the weed or trips, over indulging in stims and talking pure shite or fuckin, smashing the downers til its like I'm 40 feet underwater and can't keep my eyes open, getting weird on the ket til I'm squeaking out my words and bouncing off the walls like a pinball... but I really appreciate being able to function in every day life now.

I got stoned for the second time in months last night and had a great time. Its crazy how powerful good weed is when you have no tolerance and I was alternately nodding out on my friend's couch, getting confused by simple words and concepts and laughing about getting paranoid that people were plotting against me. But waking up this morning still half baked and not achieving much all morning isn't what I wanted for this weekend so it'll be a while before I do it again.

Kinda been feeling a trip but dmt is mad intense so probably won't smoke any. Might keep an ear out for some decent acid to take now the weather is getting better but it'll likely be a relatively low dose and I probably won't want to do it again for a few years afterwards.

I think I'll just stick to using drugs when u have something major to celebrate once in a while then just go back to being sober for a while.

Maybe some day I'll stop entirely but I doubt it. I love getting high
 
reverse cosmosis said:
I think my days of habitual drug taking and long term binges are probably behind me but I think I'll always dabble.....Maybe some day I'll stop entirely but I doubt it. I love getting high
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Sounds a lot like me.

I had to finally put down alcohol for good, as I am a hardcore alcoholic who gets physically dependent very quickly. Alcohol has caused me more problems in every conceivable way than all other drugs combined-- and I've been addicted to all the classics.

Likewise, I'm pretty sure I'm done with real opioids and binging on coke or meth. All are too expensive and/or too physically damaging. I'll still dabble with Addies now&then for work. My kratom habit is relatively light and I'm tapering off that.

I enjoy my homegrown/homemade weed cookies, but not every day. I love shrooms and acid, but I rarely trip more than 4 or 5 times a year.

There was a time when I could go on a coke-fueled booze&pill jag for a week and recover in a day or two. Now a two-day binge would require a week of recovery. Thus the hard drugs have lost their appeal.
 
reverse cosmosis said:
I think I'll just stick to using drugs when u have something major to celebrate once in a while then just go back to being sober for a while.
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that’s great that you can do that. I definitely can’t…every time with every drug I find myself abusing the shit out of it or taking too much and causing myself problems.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
that’s great that you can do that. I definitely can’t…every time with every drug I find myself abusing the shit out of it or taking too much and causing myself problems.
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I definitely still like to go for gold but I've finally progressed to the point where I know when I need to cut myself off and I can stick to it. It's taken a lot of trial and error and failed attempts and long periods of complete abstinence and there's a great possibility I will screw it up some time in the future. I know I am not infallible.

I have a pretty decent paying job that doesn't require me to conform to many if any ideals as long as I can do the work so that keeps me in line a bit plus 2 weeks out of every 5 I'm on call 24/7, 14 days straight and need to be able to turn up switched on if shit hits the fan.

Hopefully I keep it up but we'll see.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
that’s great that you can do that. I definitely can’t…every time with every drug I find myself abusing the shit out of it or taking too much and causing myself problems.
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That was me for a long time. In my 50s that started changing. Aging does something.

The only drug that I know I absolutely cannot use safely is alcohol. For me I think my alcoholism is genetic and it's like an allergy-- I can do some controlled drinking for a while but it always takes over at some point.

Other drugs have either lost their appeal or, in the case of weed & psychedelics, I just don't get compulsive with them. I actually enjoy using them in moderation.

As always, YMMV.
 
@Ismene2

I’ve absolutely felt the physical euphoria of psychedelics but it’s too stimulating and comes with too much direct sensory input. What I’ve always gravitated toward was a black void of nothingness and calm/serene (opiates and benzos)…basically the opposite of psychedelic or stimulant euphoria.



I’ve definitely enjoyed the euphoria of psychs mdma and dissociative….its just not what i ultimately want
 
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I think I'll always do drugs, although not as heavily as when I was younger. I'm only 28 but I've been through enough to know not to take any opioid ever again. Same goes for benzos, synthetic cannabinoids, and the stronger stimulants. Too many side effects and addiction issues.

There are still many drugs I'd like to try and many others I've done before and will do again. Psychs, empathogens, and dissociatives have never caused me problems and they're not things I'd even want to do daily. There actually aren't any drugs I want to do daily or really more than occasionally, even weed is something I might smoke every once in a while. I have too many other things to do in life and too much experience of addiction to do drugs heavily, but I enjoy and value them too much to not want them as a part of my life.
 
I would rather be taking them for medicinal or spiritual purposes rather than for a quick gratification fix (not easy, I know when life gets tough and one wants a high to counteract). I'm 10 years away from 60... so maybe by then my attitude will have changed, and I may hold a completely different perspective to what I have now, as I'm wanting to up my meditation and dive into breathwork and Tai Chi (natural highs).

I only do a smallish dose of shrooms or a dose of m0lly nowadays when I go wild camping with a buddy. I have done K and ayahuasca in the past, but no longer wish to experience them again.
 
reverse cosmosis said:
Pretty sure i know the difference at this stage. Don't blame you for trying to stoke that fire but still kind of a shitty move
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Apologies, it was said "in jest" and not meant to be " a shitty move " at all - feeling pretty shitty about that post now and feel like a "scolded child", a feeling that I brought on myself unintentionally.

I hate this feeling - so much for a chilled Sunday.

Fuck.

:oops::oops::oops:
 
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shreddedlettuce said:
Apologies, it was said "in jest" and not meant to be " a shitty move " at all - feeling pretty shitty about that post now and feel like a "scolded child", a feeling that I brought on myself unintentionally.

I hate this feeling - so much for a chilled Sunday.

Fuck.

:oops::oops::oops:
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Usually I have a sense of humour but apparently it failed me this morning

Don't worry about it no harm no foul init
 
fairnymph said:
I feel like I’m energetically a permanent young adult. I never really felt like a child (at least from age 2.5 on), and I don’t think I’ll ever feel old - I certainly don’t feel middle-aged. Most of my drug experience was during an experimental phase that spanned 3 years, and I think it’s best to do that when you’re a young adult and you’re more resilient. I don’t anticipate ever getting to a point where I’ll stop using all recreational drugs, but since my experimental phase, my use has been very rare, about once every few years, and I doubt it will ever become more frequent or that I’ll ever go through another experimental phase.

But, if I was told that I could never use drugs recreationally again, I wouldn’t care much. I’ve tried almost everything I’ve wanted to, and most of the things I still want to try aren’t even recreational. If I was told I could never use anything therapeutically again, I’d be quite concerned though!
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Worked with elderly quite a period of my life, good period.
Besides learning bout the old day s, they all answered the same.

When i asked if besides the body, the mind changes.
All complied nothing really changed since somewhere between 17/ 27.
Years old, it still holds truth, get back in 20 years on this!

Hoping new Drugs are developed, and all freely available.
Psychonaut journey s can be done till the end, and for the rest.
There the free-time for, experimentation. If the planet still alive.
And old folk s still get money. 🙏
 
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