Is it normal for mental illness to worsen in late 20s?

washingtonbound

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I'm 29, turning 30 soon. I have had a history of mental illness since high school, but for some reason it seems to have been getting a lot worse in the last year or so. I seem to be losing it even though things are finally starting to go better in my life. I constantly have horrible intrusive thoughts, am unable to think rationally about it most the time, and feel very dysphoric. Self esteem is almost nonexistent. I don't know what my problem is and it's starting to really piss me off that I'm not getting control of myself. Others have told me that things started to really improve for them when they turned 30 so why have I been acting like this? I feel very childish having these issues at this age.
 
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Are you female? For women there's a rise in the onset of mental illness in the second half of the 20s and at peromenopause. Onset for males tends to peak in the late teens/early twenties. If you haven't been properly treated, kindling can also be a issue with things like bipolar disorder- each time you have an episode, damage is incurred and and, over a lifetime it is cumulative. It's important to bear in mind that the brain is amazingly plastic, though. Despite the fact that it may try to drag us down and deceive us into thinking all is hopeless at times, we always have the potential to grow and change. There are new therapies and new medications being developed all the time, and as we grow older our brains have the potential to respond to a treatments we may have previously "failed" in a new way.
 
Are you female? For women there's a rise in the onset of mental illness in the second half of the 20s and at peromenopause. Onset for males tends to peak in the late teens/early twenties. If you haven't been properly treated, kindling can also be a issue with things like bipolar disorder- each time you have an episode, damage is incurred and and, over a lifetime it is cumulative. It's important to bear in mind that the brain is amazingly plastic, though. Despite the fact that it may try to drag us down and deceive us into thinking all is hopeless at times, we always have the potential to grow and change. There are new therapies and new medications being developed all the time, and as we grow older our brains have the potential to respond to a treatments we may have previously "failed" in a new way.
No I'm a guy. I think you're right about episodes having lasting damage. I had a ton from 19-27. Luckily there hasn't been a new one in a year and a half or so. Now I think I am dealing with a prolonged low
 
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No I'm a guy. I think you're right about episodes having lasting damage. I had a ton from 19-27. Luckily there hasn't been a new one in a year and a half or so. Now I think I am dealing with a prolonged low

That's why it's so important to persevere in treating organic mental illness. Even if we can't prevent the episodes from happening altogether, we can at least reduce the severity thus, reducing the harm we do to our brains. There's evidence that certain mood stabilizers (lamotrigine, lithium, valproate inparticular) are even neuroprotective. I want to do everything I can to stay out of a shitty public nursing home at the end of my life.
 
That's why it's so important to persevere in treating organic mental illness. Even if we can't prevent the episodes from happening altogether, we can at least reduce the severity thus, reducing the harm we do to our brains. There's evidence that certain mood stabilizers (lamotrigine, lithium, valproate inparticular) are even neuroprotective. I want to do everything I can to stay out of a shitty public nursing home at the end of my life.
I actually was just on lamotrigine. Was taking 200mg twice a day. I noticed that I had more motivation to do things like writing, which I typically barely do at all anymore. But I would also get very agitated, and would yawn all day long. Strange physical sensations as well and insomnia. I decided to throw the bottle out while I was traveling, huge mistake. Dealt with at least two weeks of horrible withdrawal symptoms. I don’t like that shit at all.
 
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Others have told me that things started to really improve for them when they turned 30 so why have I been acting like this? I feel very childish having these issues at this age.
I perceive life as chaotic mess and I don't see kind of a "stable upwards trend in personal growth and life quality" in my own life. Some things get better, some things get worse.

OCPD is often said to get worse with age and I can kinda attest to that but I think gaining awareness has really halted that progression. I still need to deal with it daily and really take care of myself. I feel it developing some really strong neuronal connections all the time, but I just can take responsibility of trying to prevent them of taking over control and starting again some path I can not stop.
 
I perceive life as chaotic mess and I don't see kind of a "stable upwards trend in personal growth and life quality" in my own life. Some things get better, some things get worse.

OCPD is often said to get worse with age and I can kinda attest to that but I think gaining awareness has really halted that progression. I still need to deal with it daily and really take care of myself. I feel it developing some really strong neuronal connections all the time, but I just can take responsibility of trying to prevent them of taking over control and starting again some path I can not stop.
It is making me so sick I can’t even stand it. These worthless thoughts are a bully, making me feel like I have committed some horrible atrocity, just by thinking a certain way about something, often very benign subjects at that. The real me has no concern for the subject matter of this junk, but when the thought lands, a repulsive feeling comes with it that I feel compelled to neutralize. I feel spineless, and hate this brain illness so much words don’t do it justice.

I feel personally attacked constantly and like I need to assert my identity to this piece of shit in my mind.
 
Any psychiatrists on blue light that want to answer this question?
I'm a psychotherapist and can chime in.

What I often see is this:

Biological/genetic type mental health conditions develop through adolescence with a first true break occurring late teens and early 20s, with cycles of high acuity and relative normal functioning that can be anywhere from mostly functional to mostly not-functional. - This is the pattern with with things like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorders

Trauma related disorders are more nuanced as they start with the inciting event(s) and can be pinged up a notch with subsequent events. Dependents on what OP may be experiencing, it would be very reasonable to see a worsening of a trauma related mental health condition increasing in intensity in late 20s, early 30s as this is the time period where there are the least built in supports (school, parents, etc.) and the most areas of vulnerability (relationships, children, jobs, life goals - the sort of make or break stuff that can send you for a loop if you're struggling to be successful in this domain.)

Mood disorders like depressive disorders or anxiety disorders can also follow patterns like trauma related disorders as they can be linked to events throughout our lives that worsen our subjective experience - if I'm constantly stressed about money and I'm anxiety prone, my capacity to manage anxiety will become both better and worse at the same time - I'll probably have less devastating panic episodes, but I'll be a more generally anxious person who is difficult to be around for long periods, heightening social isolation and damaging protective factors like relationships and jobs. We are also fully capable of doing real damage to our life trajectory at this point in our lives, so it can be a period of great vulnerability to mental health conditions that are more experiential in nature, vs. ones that are more thoroughly housed in genetic traits.

The good news is... we tend to right the ship eventually - we learn to live with ourselves as we are. Recovery is acknowledging that we are who we are, and that's okay, that's all we need to be. Just work with who you are as best you can and set goals to make yourself better. The best way to figure out what your goals are? Identify your own values as values are the guiding points for where we want to travel in life and how we want to behave along the way. If you know your values, you can navigate anything in life.
 
I'm 29, turning 30 soon. I have had a history of mental illness since high school, but for some reason it seems have to have been getting a lot worse in the last year or so. I seem to be losing it even though things are finally starting to go better in my life. I constantly have horrible intrusive thoughts, am unable to think rationally about it most the time, and feel very dysphoric. Self esteem is almost nonexistent. I don't know what my problem is and it's starting to really piss me off that I'm not getting control of myself. Others have told me that things started to really improve for them when they turned 30 so why have I been acting like this? I feel very childish having these issues at this age.
It is fairly common, yes - it’s because you’re going through your Saturn return, which is generally a very difficult and transformative time. My Saturn return was brutal, and percentage of people die - like my late husband. If you like, I can take a look at your birth chart and maybe provide some insight and suggestions. The good news is that your Saturn return won’t last much longer, but your actions during this time can have serious long-term consequences so I would take advantage of it while you can. Let me know if you’re interested in a reading and further explanation. I’m not a professional I just study astrology for my own edification.
 
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