Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

[Youwillrecover]

for my part I became paranoid with cannabis I was diagnosed as psychotic today I stopped using cannabis completely

Bro weed is the only thing that stopes me from becoming psychotic. Hahaha

 

[foodcrisis]

Bro weed is the only thing that stopes me from becoming psychotic. Hahaha

you realize on the page before this you claim to not be or not've been psychotic, but in this post you are saying with out weed you are psychotic? maybe these are just figures of speech to you.

i don't know if this is the same poster saying they were growing shrooms, calling their doctors about it, and also calling people at hospitals saying offensive stuff? if that's all the same poster, i think you kind of have your head in the clouds a bit, and might not realize everything you are doing.. sorry if i'm confusing the posters here... one of the posters was calling their doctor or hospital and saying some stuff that sounded really disorganized imo... again sorry if i'm mixing up different posters. it's hard to keep track of all these different user names.

 

[Youwillrecover]

you realize on the page before this you claim to not be or not've been psychotic, but in this post you are saying with out weed you are psychotic? maybe these are just figures of speech to you.

i don't know if this is the same poster saying they were growing shrooms, calling their doctors about it, and also calling people at hospitals saying offensive stuff? if that's all the same poster, i think you kind of have your head in the clouds a bit, and might not realize everything you are doing.. sorry if i'm confusing the posters here... one of the posters was calling their doctor or hospital and saying some stuff that sounded really disorganized imo... again sorry if i'm mixing up different posters. it's hard to keep track of all these different user names.

I mean i have cptsd. When i smoke weed the thing that they diagnose my cptsd as paranoid schizo dissapears. i get less angry and more relaxed and all that

 

[Youwillrecover]

So i can say weed will actually making my schizophrenia dissapears instead of create it. Ah cant wait to mention that in court lmao. The supposedly most dangerous thing for me was actually healing me. Oh lol what a babylon

 

[fenec]

Bro weed is the only thing that stopes me from becoming psychotic. Hahaha

I smoked cannabis from morning to night, I was just thinking, I was thinking, I was making films, I was paranoid, it really made me feel bad, I never should have smoked that shit.

 

[Fanzy]

Is anyone suffering from anxiety

Yes. Me ans So much people bro

 

[iraistired]

i keep crying every day now i’m really sad mom is thinking of admitting me into a psychward cuz i’m really sad

 

[iraistired]

i can’t stop worrying about my future idk what to do everything has become black it’s all so terrible like a terrible dream i can’t believe this is real

my confidence has become zero i used to be really strong and cool i used to have everything alhamdulilah everybody wanted to be my friend now nobody looks my way i have become miserable everything has been taken from me i can’t stop thinking about it all
mom says it pains me to look at u
my sister says i can’t look at u anymore
oh my God it’s like i’m a different person

i’m sorry for the rant i’m feeling miserable idk how to feel about all this i just want my life back i’m crying so bad

 

[iraistired]

Does your mom not understand that the psychward is a bad place?

she says i’m tired of ur crying ..

 

[TonyTonyChopper]

If there is people who recovered from injections then why don't they comeback to bluelight.org and give us hope we can all go back to who we were before the medicine? We need people who have %100 fully recovered to let us know everything is going to be okay. A full recovery also includes when the person is able to get drunk off beer and high off marijuana again. If they are not able too, then they weren't able to fully recover.

Most want to forget about invega and everything that has to do with it. Its like a nightmare that they want to forget and just move on with life. There are few people who come back and one of my favorite recovery story is CrimsonThornX . You can find his update here

Mental Health - Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 8.0

I haven't recovered, and I'm not here very often, mostly because I'm around 60% recovered and able to do more activities/work, etc. What does 60% recovered look like ?

www.bluelight.org

 

[iraistired]

i used to be really popular online ..

 

[iraistired]

i took five shots i think.. this is the fifth month off them…

 

[InvegaAnon]

So i can say weed will actually making my schizophrenia dissapears instead of create it. Ah cant wait to mention that in court lmao. The supposedly most dangerous thing for me was actually healing me. Oh lol what a babylon

Don't. They didn't believe me when I said weed kept me stable while I was on Straterra and the medication was only a problem when I ran out. They're fixated on the myth that it causes schizophrenia when in reality, it can make someone with a particular neurotransmitter imbalance psychotic. Weed isn't going to give anyone schizophrenia.

 

[TonyTonyChopper]

As long as someone can get high off weed and drunk off beer again. I will say they are recovered.

I can't get high on weed what so ever and I never had alcohol so not sure if i can get drunk but I dont care about being high again I just want the terrible anhedonia to go away. I want my interest and hobbies back. I want my cognition go back to the way it was in 2022 and get my emotions back.

 

[Harmedbypsychward]

Is anyone else not able to feel time?

 

[fenec]

i took five shots i think.. this is the fifth month off them…

I received four injections of haldol decanoat at 150 mg every 28 days for 4 months which is similar to invega. It's been over a year since I stopped. It's really much better than 6 months ago. but I still have not returned to 100% level of emotion libido energy, I no longer have the side effects zombie tremor joint pain etc. libido is much improved I have found maiq negative emotions fear etc, I think I will completely cure it 2 years off courage the first months without this kind of thing are really horrible

 

[InvegaAnon]

i can’t stop worrying about my future idk what to do everything has become black it’s all so terrible like a terrible dream i can’t believe this is real

my confidence has become zero i used to be really strong and cool i used to have everything alhamdulilah everybody wanted to be my friend now nobody looks my way i have become miserable everything has been taken from me i can’t stop thinking about it all
mom says it pains me to look at u
my sister says i can’t look at u anymore
oh my God it’s like i’m a different person

i’m sorry for the rant i’m feeling miserable idk how to feel about all this i just want my life back i’m crying so bad

I really don't understand people who just abandon their friends and family over mental health issues. If you abandon someone over something they can't control, you don't love them.

You're going to be okay. It's going to take time, but you will very likely be okay. Stay off of antipsychotics if you don't have schizophrenia.

 

[InvegaAnon]

Who else has demonic thoughts?

What do you mean by that?

 

[Nonz]

Hey guys, this is my first post on blue light.

Im a 24 year old male, I received about 6 or 5 injections, and I believe to be about 3 months off my injections. Currently taking lamotrigine and bupropion(wellbutrin).

I received my first injections after a month long stay in a behavioral hospital. During a manic episode that lasted about 3-2 months. 2 of those months in and out of various hospitals, with my final hospital stay being about a month.

I had previously been hospitalized at the age of 19 for a manic episode with pshycotic features, but it was much more mild.

This last hospital say I was in far worst of a condition. Essentially having severe delusions (believing I was some sort of christ like figure, believing I was on a mission to bring back a dead friend and relative, believing in strange and nasty conspiracies that involved my friends and family) along with hallucinations, mostly involving people that weren't there, but also others where I would just get overwhelmed with auditory hallucinations of dramatic scenes, that would completely put me on the floor)

my diagnosis is schizoaffective bipolar. However, once I was getting better, I had a conversation with some sort of nurse practitioner at the behavioral hospital. I mentioned something along the lines of having schizophrenia. She responded with "No, you had a drug induced pshycois, people with schizophrenia aren't delusional one week, and then smiling and dancing the next week, please stay away from the drugs from now on."

My drug use prior to hospitalization was heavy cannabis usage, frequent mushroom usage, and right before the mania really kicked in, unprescribed Adderall and Vyvanse usage. I attribute the Adderall and Vyvanse to being a huge factor in my onset of mania and pshycosis, but it's hard to say with 100 percent certainty.

I say the stimulants were the straw that broke the camels back, because i had quite a long history with cannabis usage, and iv taken mushrooms before during various periods of my life.

I had used cannabis and mushrooms before my first minor hosptalization at the age of 19, and they may have contributed to that minor bought of pshycosis.

Personally I do belive it to be a drug induced pshycosis that I experienced, but I also do belive that the diagnosis of being schizoaffective bipolar is applicable as well to some extent.

I say to some extent because I don't entirely think that as a species we understand the mind enough, and have to resort to using these lables in the name of medical practice. Medical practices being inherently flawed from this only partial understanding of a system as complex as the human brain. If you really think about it, in my opinion at least, the human brain is the most complicated structure in known existence. If we cannot predict an unconscious system like the weather with complete accuracy, we are a long shot from contemplating the intracasies of the human brain.

I'm going on a bit of a tangent, but it's late and it feels good to have and outlet to express my thoughts

I'll get to the subject at hand, that I assume you are all discussing.

Invega, its affects on us, and the recovery process.

I have not read any of these recent post or even any in this thread. I've actually be reading post from a previous 2015 invega recovery thread. It didn't occur to me until now to look for the most recent thread.

Generally speaking, I'm not the same person I was before injections. I use to enjoy life quite alot. I worked a very demanding job as a welder. Worked out on a semi regular basis and was relativly fit(not ripped/tone by any means, always been heavier, but i had good strenght and muscle mass). I looked forward to seeing my friends and talking to those that I have online. I was sharper and more creative. Had a depth of emotions. Had a very high sex drive (maybe too high at times, hypersexuality is common with those diagnosed with bipolar) Appreciated art, music and nature. Had a personal sense of spirituality and connectiveness with the universe.

Post invega injections I find it hard to have any zest for life. I was able to get my job back but found it hard to be around people that knew a "better me", found it hard to focus, and just generally felt out of place in such a demanding work environment. I only worked a week before not returning. While talking to my online friends bring me some comfort and sence of normality, I find it hard to be as engaged or interested in people as I was before, no longer feel like the funny guy I was before. No longer do I workout, but that's more so a financial issue..I feel I could if I had a gym membership. I've gained about 50 pounds, which for someone who was already on the heavy side, looks terrible on me. No longer feel sharp or nearly as creative, which can make it hard to interact with people, because I just feel rather dull; like their is not a whole lot going on up there. I no longer feel joy or excitement. I do feel sadness at times but its dull. Sometimes sadness and tears can feel like a release for the soul..but I don't get that same sense of release from crying any more. I hardly laugh. My sex drive is terrible, I feel like prepubescent child in that regard. Can no longer appreciate music, or the natural beauty of life. I no longer have a sense of spirituality. I can no longer catch a buzz or high from alcohol, nicotine or cannabis.

In a nut shell, that's the condition I'm in.

Do I feel better after 3 months being off it? Not substantially, but to some minor extent, yes. That improvement might have to do with the welbutrine I'm taking. I was suicidal before taking it, and while I might have the occasional suicidal ideation, it's not as bad.

My sexual functionality has somewhat increased. When I say sexual functionality I just mean my capability to get an erection and ejaculate. I masturbate somewhat regularly to access how much the invega is affecting me. My erections do require manual stimulation, and they are not as full as they were pre invega. While I was on injections I could hardly get it up and was not producing hardly any semen during ejaculation. I can't say my orgasms have gotten much better since then, maybe to a degree but not much. Porn isn't really stimulating. My libido is almost none existent.

Im slowly forcing myself to do things I once enjoyed even if I don't find it enjoyable. I did manage to cry from a song today, just a little bit, but I was nice to have a human experience. The song is called one fine day by David byrne..it hit me because I yearn for that one fine day, where this experience is past me. I plan on going to the gym soon and fishing once i can afford to. May also work on some coding projects and music and animation projects.

Do I have the motivation to do these things? In a sense no, not in an emotional sense. It's all just logical and my desire for normalcy. Things will not get better if nothing is done.

I recently got a job at this BBQ place I was previously employed at about 2 years ago. I find it alot more manageable in this conditions, opposed to heavy construction.

Even if I'm never going to be who I was before i need to find something that shows that I'm living again.

I do have hope i will be 100% again from reading previous threads. Some people don't seem to get better, but I also believe some of those people have bad mentalities and don't focus on taking action. The tormented souls will always be the loudest, so don't get discouraged by the few that claim they will never recover and that our brains are permanently damaged.

I believe we will be stronger and have a greater appreciation for life after going through something like this.

If anyone has any questions feel free to ping me, I'll be catching up on this tread and reading where I left off on the older threads.

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

Hi guys, I'm doing fine, thanks for worrying about me.
I'm getting better actually.
This Friday Imma try weed again to see if I can get high.

I was offline because I blocked my phone from porn temporarily so I deleted all my browsers.

Hope everyone is ok.

Thanks for worrying about me @Youwillrecover