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I'ld like to hear from anyone who uses an opioid to fight depression.

I've already been taking my Vicodin (hydrocodone) more often than I should. But I'm depressed and desperate for relief from it. Right now I want to take a couple of tablets. What stops me is fear of running out too soon and facing withdrawal.

I'm seeing a psychologist. I saw him for an hour today. He's a decent guy, but I leave the session feeling worse.

I recently got the death certificate on my brother. It says he died of the "toxic effects of methamphetamine." (He died a few months ago.) I guess he felt even more miserable that I'm feeling. He was never the suicidal type, so I suspect it was an unintentional overdose. His underlying health was not great. At least his misery is over. We were estranged by his choice. So he hadn't been part of my life for 10 years. Still, knowing he's gone has caused me a terrible sense of loss. I don't really know why.

At least, I have a little bit of understanding of why people turn to drugs. Sometimes I just want to die . . . to escape being way too alone. That was his problem. He was way too alone. We could have helped each other. But there was no getting through to him.
 
DesertHarp said:
I've already been taking my Vicodin (hydrocodone) more often than I should. But I'm depressed and desperate for relief from it. Right now I want to take a couple of tablets. What stops me is fear of running out too soon and facing withdrawal.

I'm seeing a psychologist. I saw him for an hour today. He's a decent guy, but I leave the session feeling worse.

I recently got the death certificate on my brother. It says he died of the "toxic effects of methamphetamine." (He died a few months ago.) I guess he felt even more miserable that I'm feeling. He was never the suicidal type, so I suspect it was an unintentional overdose. His underlying health was not great. At least his misery is over. We were estranged by his choice. So he hadn't been part of my life for 10 years. Still, knowing he's gone has caused me a terrible sense of loss. I don't really know why.

At least, I have a little bit of understanding of why people turn to drugs. Sometimes I just want to die . . . to escape being way too alone. That was his problem. He was way too alone. We could have helped each other. But there was no getting through to him.
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Sorry to hear that, Desert. Truly. If it makes you feel better, I've had family die on me too suddenly.
 
I am 65 and have used Tramadol daily for over 20 years. Depending on my mood I can take anything from 37.5mg to 600mg per day. I love the drug because I credit it with helping me to stop my serious alcoholism. Anyway, the reason I am posting is because I have recently had a colonoscopy because of severe pain in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. The GI doctor said he had never seen so many wide mouthed diverticulae in my descending colon. So now I am shitting myself literally and metaphorically. I have been lucky enough to have enjoyed good general health most of my life and would like to quit this shit.
I should be very grateful for any advice on how I can quit tramadol without too much pain. Alternatively, could anyone point me in the right direction. I’m unable to afford clinics. I currently take mirtazipine and diazepam on prescription. Thank you dear friends.
Footnote : I used to teach psychology at advanced level at university so I know I will not get any benefit from a well meaning therapist.
 
Preminger said:
I am 65 and have used Tramadol daily for over 20 years. Depending on my mood I can take anything from 37.5mg to 600mg per day. I love the drug because I credit it with helping me to stop my serious alcoholism. Anyway, the reason I am posting is because I have recently had a colonoscopy because of severe pain in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. The GI doctor said he had never seen so many wide mouthed diverticulae in my descending colon. So now I am shitting myself literally and metaphorically. I have been lucky enough to have enjoyed good general health most of my life and would like to quit this shit.
I should be very grateful for any advice on how I can quit tramadol without too much pain. Alternatively, could anyone point me in the right direction. I’m unable to afford clinics. I currently take mirtazipine and diazepam on prescription. Thank you dear friends.
Footnote : I used to teach psychology at advanced level at university so I know I will not get any benefit from a well meaning therapist.
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Maybe add some venlafaxine for SNRI properties and pregabalin for the opiate part of the agony. But before that you should stabilise yourself on one dose of tramadol,preferably nearer to lowest range you have specified. That is what I would do. But you are not me and I am not an doctor.
 
If you use an opioid to fight depression, you’ve lost the battle with depression, now you will have to quit opioids before you can fight the true depression. Opiates just add a layer of harm that now has to be undone before the depression can be unraveled.

What I mean is, your depression problem, it’s now a “don’t run out of opiates” problem. Good luck.
 
Preminger said:
I am 65 and have used Tramadol daily for over 20 years. Depending on my mood I can take anything from 37.5mg to 600mg per day. I love the drug because I credit it with helping me to stop my serious alcoholism. Anyway, the reason I am posting is because I have recently had a colonoscopy because of severe pain in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. The GI doctor said he had never seen so many wide mouthed diverticulae in my descending colon. So now I am shitting myself literally and metaphorically. I have been lucky enough to have enjoyed good general health most of my life and would like to quit this shit.
I should be very grateful for any advice on how I can quit tramadol without too much pain. Alternatively, could anyone point me in the right direction. I’m unable to afford clinics. I currently take mirtazipine and diazepam on prescription. Thank you dear friends.
Footnote : I used to teach psychology at advanced level at university so I know I will not get any benefit from a well meaning therapist.
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I suspect you experienced a lot of constipation for many years, due to constipating drugs. Tramadol, mirtazepine and diazepam are all constipating.

I don't have advice on getting off Tramadol. Hopefully, others can help you with that. But I will advise you to practice good bowel management. That means: Do NOT tolerate being constipated ever . . . not even for one day. If you have to, take a laxative every single day. Use an osmotic laxative, like milk of magnesia or polyethylene glycol (Miralax.) Keep that sludge in your colon moving south. Eating high fiber foods is all well and good, but don't rely on that to combat constipation.

I developed problems in my descending colon. I had bouts of diverticulitis, ulceration and temporary colitis. I believe that all came from chronic constipation going back to infancy. I take MiraLax every morning now. That has changed my life. Mind you, I take hydrocodone and a drug similar to Mirtazepine. Without a daily laxative, I would be constipated all the time.

Doctors are way, way too slow to encourage the use of laxatives. Do not listen to talk about laxatives being "unnatural" and addictive. Constipation is unnatural and terribly damaging to the descending colon.
 
DesertHarp said:
To @snafu in the Dark - I suppose you are drug-free now? (Just a rhetorical question.) If your insight has led you to stop using, and you are maintaining good mental health, then I sincerely congratulate you.

I'm actually not more depressed, since taking hydrocodone, than I was before it was prescribed. I was a psychological mess before. Current despondency is nothing new.

Sometimes, after doing laundry, I can't finish folding the clothes, until I take a Vicodin tablet and let it kick in. (Any work leads to back pain that disables me.) Without Vicodin, I couldn't keep my rose bushes trimmed. I'ld have no pain, if I stayed in my recliner all day. That option actually looks good to me when I'm particularly depressed. Inactivity has bad consequences too. Sometimes there is no ideal option.

Yesterday and today, I don't have a problem with physical pain. That's because I've been very despondent and not doing much physically. Of course, I know that inactivity makes depression worse. That's another one of those talking points that people like to parrot off.

I don't lack for knowledge about the deleterious effects of drugs and maladaptive ways of coping. Last evening, I took a double dose of Vicodin because I was distraught from many hours of mental pain. It sure helped! It helped a lot! I wasn't having withdrawal discomfort. I was just very depressed. I'm not always depressed. Sometimes I'm fine. I get episodes of severe dysphoria that have plagued me all my life.

Sometimes mental pain becomes disabling, and a person just wants relief, however it can be had. With your history, I'm sure you know what that is like.

Not all addicts suffer from clinical depression. My companion of 30 years was dependent on alcohol for many years. He didn't know the meaning of true clinical depression, even though he had drank himself into the gutter repeatedly. I'm talking homeless, cold and hungry. I'm baffled at how one can be an impoverished alcoholic and not be depressed. It happens. He had no shortage of problems. Clinical depression was not one of them. I was in a position to know. He did eventually recover. He stopped drinking and was sober for 23 years. I couldn't explain depression to him.

I'm sure you know plenty about the severe psychic distress of needing a fix, after too many hours without one. I think we agree that clinical depression is a different animal. I'm not claiming that my coping strategy is brilliant. It is what it is. I came to bluelight to meet others who have coping strategies, involving substance use. If you're doing all the "right" things to cope with life, then bully for you. I love hydrocodone, and I'll keep picking it up at the drugstore. I feel better when I take it.
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In days of old (18th century & before), opium used to be used for melancholia (an old term for depression), but that was before there were a variety of drugs to treat depression. All I can suggest is keep trying different antidepressants from the docs, with the hope one will work. I've suffered from depression most of my life, but it became severe 2 1/2 years ago, when my wife died suddenly. As part of help, I was put on mirtazepine, which I also found helped with opiate withdrawal (that I get -dihydrocodeine- for phantom limb pain).
Opiates work by pushing problems to a distance, not really a true antidepressant.
Good luck. F&B
 
I was diagnosed bipolar with little to no help with medications for bipolar disorder. The medication is extremely strong and dangerous in my opinion due to the harsh effects on your brain and it is not always effective. Maybe half the time. After getting hurt years later and being prescribed opiates over a period of many years, since 2007, I can affirm that opiates do help people in states of manic depression. Diagnosed and agreed to by two separate doctors with the following downfalls, opiates by nature make you feel good but that feeling wears off and it’s back to the depression. Opiates are hard for the doctors to prescribe in large enough doses to actually dedicate them to helping with depression. Since I’ve been on pain meds since 2007 I have a very high tolerance and lately have been supplementing my prescription with blue oxy’s (likely Mexican) which means fentanyl. This is a dangerous drug. Very strong, short lasting, metabolites stay in urine for a LONG time for drug test. Since I am now up to five 20 mg oxy’s and fentanyl patches (annd supplements) opiates seem to keep my bipolar breakouts in check. Problem is when I run out or the pharmacy can’t get my medication then it’s back to crazy me. I’ve tried other things to replace the opiates (mainly for withdrawal and see my other post regarding baclofen), but that has never helped my bipolar disorder, the manic lows, the manic highs. The opiates just level me out and get rid of pain which by itself can cause depression. So take it for what it’s worth. Enjoy the good feelings while you’re on the meds but be prepared with a backup plan when they wear off and they will wear off. I might suggest clonidine in the downtime. It’s a blood pressure med that acts almost like a strong benzo to get rid of that pacing feeling waiting for your next dose. Might calm your brain down a little also and you shouldn’t have a problem having it prescribed. It’s got its downfalls. Dragging feeling, cotton mouth, limp d*ck until your body adapts to it. The opiates fix all those though. I hope this helps some.
 
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fastandbulbous said:
In days of old (18th century & before), opium used to be used for melancholia (an old term for depression), but that was before there were a variety of drugs to treat depression. All I can suggest is keep trying different antidepressants from the docs, with the hope one will work. I've suffered from depression most of my life, but it became severe 2 1/2 years ago, when my wife died suddenly. As part of help, I was put on mirtazepine, which I also found helped with opiate withdrawal (that I get -dihydrocodeine- for phantom limb pain).
Opiates work by pushing problems to a distance, not really a true antidepressant.
Good luck. F&B
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I'm sorry that you've been dealing with the loss of your wife. That is huge. Mirtazepine is a quadricyclic antidepressant that is popular with doctors. I tried it, but it gave me weird, vivid dreams every night. I take amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant. It makes me better than I would be without it. Over the years I was tried on lots of different meds that didn't help.

My focus now is on trying to get out of the house and do things with other people. I know I'm too isolated. No pill can make up for the lack of a social life.

During a bad bout of the blues, hydrocodone can make it less painful. But I think it also reduces motivation toward action, which is not good.

I'm glad you have something to take for your physical pain. Running out and getting withdrawal symptoms is no fun. I've been through that myself.
 
Believe it or not I never smoked weed in my life. I was just wondering if that could work for TRD? Desperate times call for desperate measures.
 
Man67 said:
Believe it or not I never smoked weed in my life. I was just wondering if that could work for TRD? Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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I find that cannabis gummies are great for putting me to sleep. But I don't find anything else enjoyable about them. They don't make me feel less depressed. All I can suggest is that you try cannabis and see what it does for you. If you try gummies, just know that they have to be digested before they kick in, which can take 2 hours.
 
I'm dealing with the return of depression. For a few weeks, I was doing pretty good, but I'm down again. I try to save up my Vicodin tablets, so I can take a double dose when I'm depressed and want to do housework. My place needs some serious picking up. I just got my 30 day supply, so I can afford to take some extra doses, ahead of schedule, to try and get a boost in my mood.

Even the Vicodin (hydrocodone) doesn't help that much. I'm desperate to feel better.
 
DesertHarp said:
I'm dealing with the return of depression. For a few weeks, I was doing pretty good, but I'm down again. I try to save up my Vicodin tablets, so I can take a double dose when I'm depressed and want to do housework. My place needs some serious picking up. I just got my 30 day supply, so I can afford to take some extra doses, ahead of schedule, to try and get a boost in my mood.

Even the Vicodin (hydrocodone) doesn't help that much. I'm desperate to feel better.
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I know exactly how you feel and I am sorry to hear that. My only lifeline is 10mg Oxycodone in the morning, approved by the government. It gives me a 2-3 hours window depression free. I take it first thing in the morning so I'm able to get up and do some basic chores.
The rest of the day I spend in bed. Whenever I feel desperate and suicidal I just remind myself that tomorrow morning I will be "normal" again for a few hours.
But what if one day government doesn't approve this off the label treatment for TRD? I'm afraid to even think about it.

I'm currently seeing another Dr. (mine will be back by the end of the year) This character is so negligent, incompetent and prepotent that after every appointment I have to take Bromazepam to calm down.
I saw him 4 days ago and since then my depression turned into anger. It's not a great feeling but everything is better than being alone with my dark thoughts. I'm currently collecting info, writing emails and will do everything to expose this selfish fraud who wants to cut all my meds down without addressing my conditions first.
Good luck mate and all the best.
 
Preminger said:
I am 65 and have used Tramadol daily for over 20 years. Depending on my mood I can take anything from 37.5mg to 600mg per day. I love the drug because I credit it with helping me to stop my serious alcoholism. Anyway, the reason I am posting is because I have recently had a colonoscopy because of severe pain in the lower left quadrant of my abdomen. The GI doctor said he had never seen so many wide mouthed diverticulae in my descending colon. So now I am shitting myself literally and metaphorically. I have been lucky enough to have enjoyed good general health most of my life and would like to quit this shit.
I should be very grateful for any advice on how I can quit tramadol without too much pain. Alternatively, could anyone point me in the right direction. I’m unable to afford clinics. I currently take mirtazipine and diazepam on prescription. Thank you dear friends.
Footnote : I used to teach psychology at advanced level at university so I know I will not get any benefit from a well meaning therapist.
Click to expand...
Tramadol gave me my first withdrawal and it was awful. My doctor prescribed me hydrocodone to use to taper off the tramadol. You have to limit yourself to taking them as needed for the taper. A few years later I tried going back to tramadol and even just 100mg caused me to have seizures so the VA put it on my list of allergies. It is worth noting that by that time I had sustained a TBI and was already prone to seizures though. So I think it was a threshold lowering issue and not any kind of problem developed from quitting prior. Goodluck though, wish you all the best.
 
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