Spiritual experiences and self-therapy with Molly.

[robbli777]

This is how I sometimes experience M0lly, please read with an open mind and Heart. Sometimes I set an intention, sometimes I do not and go with the flow. I may go for a walk in nature with my dog listening to music on headphones, I find a quiet spot amongst trees feeling what is around me, meditating, or I write in a journal asking questions, how to heal and improve myself, what I need to focus on. I have had some strange but pleasant experiences with energies/frequencies/spirits, whatever term one wishes to use. Plus, I have seen a purple orb floating around my feet in woodland and crystal-clear faces in the clouds (thread here - Face Pareidolia at Spiritual location). I bought a wall calendar last year and was shocked to see face pareidolia in it, like the experience I had last year at exactly the same location (Glastonbury Tor)! Above the tower, the formation of clouds looks like a person eating or drinking something with a hand over the face, do you see it?

I have read some books on MDMA therapy, such as Trust Surrender Receive: How MDMA Can Release Us From Trauma and PTSD by Anne Other (Shulgin's wife), MDMA Solo, by Phoenix Kaspian, abuse survivor, and most recently a book I recommend reading first before the others, Ecstasy as Medicine: How MDMA therapy Can Help You Overcome Trauma, Anxiety, and Depression...and Feel More Love by Jonathan Robinson, psychotherapist (who also interviewed the late Ram Dass).

Dealing with recent grief - Back in 2023, I lost both my parents in June and August, my mother to cancer. In early October 2023, I went for a walk into a local woodland with M0lly and my mother's dog, as I was near peak experience, these two rainbows appeared out of nowhere, and I saw a heart etched onto the nearest tree in front of me (see main photo below). I rationalized the two rainbows as a reflection off water vapour or even a lens flare, but I saw them with my own eyes, plus I can not explain the heart etched onto the tree which is no longer there a month later (see right side photo below). A friend of mine said the rainbows could be a manifestation of my deceased parents saying "hello", probably not (says my rational mind), but still nice to contemplate away from the rational thinking?

By no means I am completely cured of my ills and grief, there are no magic pills and quick fixes, albeit, I have understood my past difficulties and traumas with more clarity and how to change authentically compared to any therapies I've had in my past thanks to M0lly. The healing comes out of the work one puts in after these heartfelt experiences. I'm attending a Vipassana 10 day silent retreat in under 2 weeks time to help cultivate a discipline of stillness away from the chit-chat monkey mind. It would be nice to hear from anyone else who has used M0lly to assist in healing a difficult past, or who has had some profound spiritual experiences? Namaste.

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[Foreigner]

MDMA has proven benefits for PTSD, anxiety and depression. It is contraindicated (mostly) for schizoaffective, schizophrenic, bipolar and other neurochemical disorders.

I think the feelings and thoughts you had while on MDMA are valid, but I would not believe everything you see while you're on drugs. You should take the essence of those experiences - the feelings, thoughts, achievements, etc - and use them to build a better life for yourself while sober. Don't go chasing ghosts with repeated highs. It leads nowhere, and may even lead to dark places -- I speak from personal experience.

Anything you achieve on drugs must be integrated into your sober life, or it can't be called "healing." In fact, it's just living in a fantasy.

This is why a lot of people recommend doing MDMA with a therapist or at least within a therapeutic context. While I'm not somebody who appeals to authority and thinks that people should only be allowed to do therapeutic MDMA in a professional setting (I personally would hate that), do I think there has to be some kind of therapeutic modality used in order to challenge you or integrate you.

Most people come to therapy knowing what they want to talk about. It's the therapist's job to get them to talk about things they don't want to talk about. Whatever's being avoided is where the healing is. That's why doing drugs on your own as "therapy" can be dangerous. You may only see what you want to see and not what you need to see.

I think your Vipassana retreat could be a good opportunity to do some integration. I don't think the visualizations, hallucinations and imagery witnessed while on drugs should be taken too seriously. Use the essence of them to do integration work but don't get too attached to those images. There are too many druggies chasing ghosts these days and calling it spiritual awakening. Ultimately, you should heal to the point that can you just be sober and not have to use drugs at all -- or if you do use drugs, it's for entertainment purposes only because there's no more heavy-lifting "process" work left to do.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Vipassana 10 day silent retreat is incerdibly challenging. I know a few people who have done it, wildly differing reactions. One person I know helps with facilitating it now and is likely to be there when you are. I've been considering doing it it too (the retreat) but the time is not right for me

Am kinda hoping you have had experience of shorter silent retreats first as it's a bit diving-in -the-deep-end otherwise

EDIT I don't want to lower the tone here haha, but on your pic of the Tor I can see the exact spot where I had great sex with a truly beautiful woman, over 30 years ago - thanks for the memory!

 

[robbli777]

MDMA has proven benefits for PTSD, anxiety and depression. It is contraindicated (mostly) for schizoaffective, schizophrenic, bipolar and other neurochemical disorders.

I think the feelings and thoughts you had while on MDMA are valid, but I would not believe everything you see while you're on drugs. You should take the essence of those experiences - the feelings, thoughts, achievements, etc - and use them to build a better life for yourself while sober. Don't go chasing ghosts with repeated highs. It leads nowhere, and may even lead to dark places -- I speak from personal experience.

Anything you achieve on drugs must be integrated into your sober life, or it can't be called "healing." In fact, it's just living in a fantasy.

This is why a lot of people recommend doing MDMA with a therapist or at least within a therapeutic context. While I'm not somebody who appeals to authority and thinks that people should only be allowed to do therapeutic MDMA in a professional setting (I personally would hate that), do I think there has to be some kind of therapeutic modality used in order to challenge you or integrate you.

Most people come to therapy knowing what they want to talk about. It's the therapist's job to get them to talk about things they don't want to talk about. Whatever's being avoided is where the healing is. That's why doing drugs on your own as "therapy" can be dangerous. You may only see what you want to see and not what you need to see.

I think your Vipassana retreat could be a good opportunity to do some integration. I don't think the visualizations, hallucinations and imagery witnessed while on drugs should be taken too seriously. Use the essence of them to do integration work but don't get too attached to those images. There are too many druggies chasing ghosts these days and calling it spiritual awakening. Ultimately, you should heal to the point that can you just be sober and not have to use drugs at all -- or if you do use drugs, it's for entertainment purposes only because there's no more heavy-lifting "process" work left to do.

Thanks for the response. I understand the importance of integration, albeit I do admit, it's been lacking after these experiences I have alone, although I do sometimes journal what comes during or after. I don't intend to use Molly forever, merely it's been a stepping stone into understanding deeply what has been blocking me for most of my life, hence Vipassana has been a calling for me for a few years, and I'm finally going next week.

These visualizations and hallucinations have given me clues and subtle nudges on my spiritual path, plus helped me to integrate the loss of my parents, hence I do consider them to be important rather than completely dismissed as woo-woo irrelevant mumbo jumbo. Plus, I wholeheartedly believe there's an energetic symbiotic relationship happening when experiencing Molly at spiritual locations, no doubt, that's my own subjective intuitive interpretation.