Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 8.0

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These windows and waves are crazy. Yesterday and this morning I felt horrible and now I feel great. Hope it stays this way. Hope for the future and take care.
 
These windows and waves are crazy. Yesterday and this morning I felt horrible and now I feel great. Hope it stays this way. Hope for the future and take care.
I just had 2 ablify maintenna shots involuntary in hospital and i also feel great. Im shocked how less damaging maintenna is compared to olanzapine injections i had before. I still have libido pleasure music sounds good and im chilled. They can really differentiate a lot. I seen few people saying maintena isnt as bad as others and i can approve.
 
So it’s been 14 months since my last injection …. I am maybe 3 percent better …. The only thing that has changed is that I can watch Netflix but I don’t enjoy it at all … I am still completely dead inside , no emotions , no interests , no desires to do anything at all other than lay in my bed … I recently spent 5 days in hospital because my inactivity has lead to my bowel becoming inflamed …. I can barely walk now … I am a 23 year old man that before the injections I was leaping over 10 foot fences to do graffiti missions with a heavy backpack full of paint…. I was strong and very healthy …. These injections destroyed me beyond anything you can imagine …. I have nothing now , no friends no job , no hobbies , no interests …. Nothing …. I am dead …. I will wait another year and then if nothing has improved I will kill my self …. I hope others have more luck than me …. Peace
You are so strong Harry, it makes me emotional to hear what a wild child you were but I believe you will get it all back. Try as many natural remedies as you can, recently I found a lot of people saying saffron supplements really helped their anhedonia. Sending you love xx
 
Just wanted to give a really small update. I’ve been spending less time in this forum mostly for the sake of my mental health as reading the posts was having a bad effect on me. Nothing personal towards anyone here.

I’ve noticed my energy levels have ever so slightly improved, Im starting to get into some very gentle work running a jewellery market stall on weekends and selling things on fb market place. Showering more often which is probably a bonus for my family lol.

I’ve also noticed that every two or three days I’ll have a little giggle at something, usually if something is really silly then I’ll laugh. The last time this happened was yesterday. I was buying ricotta cheese from the deli and I asked the boy behind the counter for a very small amount of ricotta cheese. He put a lot of effort into getting me the perfect slice and then finally when it was done I thought oh no that’s not enough cheese, so I asked for a tiny bit more and he was so polite and really listened to the exact amount of cheese I wanted and did it perfectly, and for some reason that just made me start giggling, and he was laughing too. I noticed that I smiled for about a minute after that.

Apart from that, I’m mostly still just extremely bored all the time, feeling too bored to watch movies etc and too bored to actually go out and do stuff so I’m still very much in bed most of the time. I’ve put on a lot of weight and I’m very body positive but it’s actually annoying to carry extra weight because it makes you sluggish. I’m hoping my energy levels improve to where I can start exercising again.

Anyways sending love and prayers to everyone, if anyone wants to join the server I’ve set up called space cadets (blank mind) feel free to message me. Peace
 
I’m approaching 5 months off of Invega and still have really severe anhedonia, apathy, and no interest in anything whatsoever. I’m mostly bed ridden because I’m so tired, and even when I’m up I wanna lay back down because I don’t have the attention span or interest to stay engaged in everything for more than five minutes. I’ve tried exercising, I’ve tried reading, I’ve tried walks, I’ve tried supplements, I’ve tried gaming, I’ve tried socializing and I absolutely can’t find pleasure in anything. It’s terrible. I would almost rather be dead because I wake up every day only to stay in bed all day and dread everything I can’t do.

Do you know how horrible of an existence this is?

Fuck.
 
I can drive a car now, something else I never thought I’d be doing again. If I can just get over this awful anxiety/fears about everything death, injury, religion etc. Sometimes my mind blocks it out but it’s hard whilst being bored to death.

This drug has killed everything I liked doing, I haven’t bought anything other than food for the past 5 months. I used to shop on Amazon all the time and buy clothes and stuff. Now nothings fun at all. I get around town just to kill time. I wish it meant something like it used to.

I might try an antidepressant but I know they have their own problems, I’m running out of options at this point.
 
I’m approaching 5 months off of Invega and still have really severe anhedonia, apathy, and no interest in anything whatsoever. I’m mostly bed ridden because I’m so tired, and even when I’m up I wanna lay back down because I don’t have the attention span or interest to stay engaged in everything for more than five minutes. I’ve tried exercising, I’ve tried reading, I’ve tried walks, I’ve tried supplements, I’ve tried gaming, I’ve tried socializing and I absolutely can’t find pleasure in anything. It’s terrible. I would almost rather be dead because I wake up every day only to stay in bed all day and dread everything I can’t do.

Do you know how horrible of an existence this is?

Fuck.
can you process words/sentences?
 
9 month update since the last shot: back in January of 2024 I had insomnia for 3 weeks so I didn’t sleep at all and felt like a zombie, that has now recovered where I can sleep a solid 7-8 hours. I still don’t feel tired other than in the mornings if I lack sleep. I also still can’t nap yet. I have started to shower and brush my teeth daily where as before i couldn’t force myself to for multiple days. In terms of music, before this it was sounding flat and now it is pleasurable, is it the same? Im not sure but it def hits however I’m unmotivated to listen to it and my taste of music has changed, maybe because I didn’t listen to it for a long time. In terms of sexual function, I have a light sensation when I orgasm now and can feel my heart pumping but my penis still has numbness to a degree. Also in terms of penis length, one thing I’ve noticed is the size hasn’t changed really, it has just been covered by fat on the pubic bone making it look smaller but after pushing the fat away and measuring it is the same size as before the shot. FYI I gained 40ish pounds since last January and it has now slowed down. My sex drive is also still 0 but sometimes I can get partial boners from thinking of certain things but it’s not like I’m horny when i see an attractive girl. My morning wood has also come back in December for a week and then stopped, came back for another week recently and then stopped again so no clue what that is. my imagination is also not as sharp as what it used to be, kinda difficult to play scenarios in my head. In terms of emotions, I can cry and tear up in certain circumstances but I don’t have that deep feeling, still no feeling of love for others but in my mind I do. I still don’t have adrenaline(had it for the first time while watching action tv where I felt my heart racing), anger and aggression are blunted to a degree and at the same time I don’t feel any deep depression. I also don’t experience stress, anxiety or worry. Additionally, I still don’t have that strong desire to do things(motivation) and I rather force myself to go for walks etc..Another thing I noticed is my body specifically my back is sore upon waking and this perhaps could be attributed to all the laying down. I also noticed that on walks my feet start to hurt 20 min in and this could be because I haven’t been active in a long time or I am overweight. In terms of strength, I don’t feel as strong still but that can be both the medication and lack of gym. Others have also made the observation that my speech has improved significantly where as before I was quiet and blank minded and now I can hold a conversation, can ask questions and speak at a normal pace. I also can laugh at good comedy. In terms of intelligence I feel slower especially come to maths, but it is building back up I think. To add to this, I have tried nicotine vape recently and can get a morning head rush which I couldnt before and feel alcohol much better than in December. While this is not a good comparison, in December I had 5 beers after eating in an hour and felt no buzz and the other night I had 1 beer on an empty stomach and felt a slight buzz. Obviously hard liquor works much better. Will not be trying weed ever so can’t speak in that because there is no way I want to end up in the ward. Lastly my anhedonia is Significantly better. Initially I couldn’t cut grass, go on walks, enjoy time with my dog, watch tv shows or YouTube , or play video games. I am able to do all those things now and stay entertained throughout the day. If you have any questions feel free to ask, good luck everyone, I have you guys in my mind.
If i get strong boners and erections after ablify maintena 2 shots is it because its less damaging then invega or each story and person is different?
 
If i get strong boners and erections after ablify maintena 2 shots is it because its less damaging then invega or each story and person is different?
We're definitely all different. Some meds work well for some folks, and not for others. I found abilify much easier to tolerate than invega. A good sex drive is key for many. Glad you're getting some relief!
 
We're definitely all different. Some meds work well for some folks, and not for others. I found abilify much easier to tolerate than invega. A good sex drive is key for many. Glad you're getting some relief!
U had maintena too? I find it fascinating i have almost no side effects while on invega i would have many. Its wow they differentiate so much
 
U had maintena too? I find it fascinating i have almost no side effects while on invega i would have many. Its wow they differentiate so much
Don't you get restlessness on Abilify?
When I was on Abilify pills for the first time it caused me extreme restlessness...
 
Don't you get restlessness on Abilify?
When I was on Abilify pills for the first time it caused me extreme restlessness...
Little bit but i have dick working music sounds good im not a zombie and i sleep 7-10 hours instead of 14-15. Its fascinating how much beter maintena is
 
Hi guys I barely come here now as I am doing better music is sounding better and better about 60 percent back I can also get High asf with great euphoria and psychedelic effects from weed and hhc making me feel 70 percent back to normal and alleviating most symptoms sexual and emotional especially and it makes music sound fucking amazing like before I can feel attracted to women but sometimes it feels weak and unsatisfying tho however if im high I can feel very attracted to a girl and could fall in love with her and have a girlfriend I could also enjoy sex and masturbation when high and a little bit when sober but barely when sober, 9 months off I can also get horny and get hard from thoughts of girls or pictures now, weed makes me feel damn near like before now but I still have progress to make im not gonna lie im getting there tho guys, im praying 12-15 month mark marks 90-100 percent recovery🙏🙏 I can also feel my mind and intelligence begin to open up definitely, I also care about ppl now and try to help my friends out to feel how I want I still need at least a mild to moderate dose of weed
 
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