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NEED ADVICE ON IF I SHOULD TELL MY PSYCHIATRIST

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Bytor_and_the_snowdog

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Aug 8, 2023
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So i been with my doc for about 8 years - atleast. im prescribed clonipin 4mg a day for severe anxiety, adderal for ADD 10MG 2-3 TIMES A DAY, WELBUTRIN 300MG a day and prozac 20mg a day.
i rarely take my meds accept for the clons. i take them according to how i feel. some days i take 2 - some days i take 4 etc.
the prozac i was prescibed last year because i had come off opiates THAT HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT. The opiates gave me bad depression when i came off. i wasnt on long - maybe 3-4 months total at the time - most i went up to was 120mg for 1-2 days but i usually hovered around 60mg on most days
i got clean and felt fine - like the asshole that i am after promising ill never do it again, i started again in May of 22 - Memorial day to be exact. i took a 20mg and would only do on weekends. then from septt to december i was taking both percs and oxy. again, not a crazy amount (id do one to two percs and maybe a 40mg of ox at most but enough to where i was geting withdrawlas. not terrible but i hate that feeling of the exhaustion and the depression. i was told about suboxone from a friend. i was given some and been on since march of this year.

i take abour 3-4mg a day. i hate them. but i need them to just feel normal. i started taking my welbutrin and prozac but i dont notice anything. my adderal makes me crash hard and so i dont mess with them either. they used to work great for me when i started like 5-6 years ago. now they just make me shake.
regardless i know im all over the plce in this post but my question is this: should i tell my psychiatrist im on subs or would he drop me. i know he wouldnt accept a friend who i recommended because he was an addict to opiates. so that scares me that if he wouldnt take him on as a patient - that he might drop me if i come clean to him. i want his help. m aybe he would know what meds to give me and he would know of a schedule to give me to get me off. but at the same time im afrid he might drop me - or take me off clonipin - which i dont abuse. i been on them for 15 years - even before i was with him.
sorry for the long post and there have been a few members on here who PMd me on other advice i was asking who have been helpful in other ways.
but now i just want off subs. i probably didnt even need them - except my clonipin and what else i might need to recover.
but im scared he might drop me
what should i or anyone who might have experience with a situation like this do? idk what to do. i want his help - but at the same time im afraid he might say see ya - or keep me but not trust me since i didnt tell him till now
 
I got to be honest bro, shrinks can not be trusted. They may have an MD but they almost never have any real idea of the pain that people with substance abuse have. They make there money not by curing people, but by making them dependant on them. He probably knew that junkies care( sorry, I am not judging but being honrest) about their next fix more than paying there doctor bills or copay (I have no idea your friends situation or where you guys live or money situation) or have no insurance or money for shrinks. You sound as If you can sort of function( roof over head, go to shrink, pay bills ect...)
I have had issues with alcohol ( don't drink any more and I thank the Lord I am literally allergic to it)
But have pill issues because I had pancreatitus and am trying to get off 2 of the three I used to long term( morphine er and Ativan, ( Lorazepam) but need Oxy for other pain.
I regret taking the first two for 6 years or more and now trying to get off them.
I would never jeopardize a script you need, but I would take a good look an say, How much is this shrink really helping me.
Getting and staying clean is hard for many, including me. But you sound similar to me in your low level( quantity of drugs you take) use.

A psychiatrist is not the best option for getting off drugs. They too are also human( sort of, just kidding) and he( depending on his personality) might be mad at you and do just what you fear. You should avoid opiates, unless it is for real pain
Opiate withdrawal depression is different than clinical depression.
Your opiate use/abuse seems low level and maybe you should get off them and stay away from opiates and the Subs

The Adderall seems like a nightmare when going through withdrawals, but your use sounds moderate. Percocet has oxycodone in a lower dose and acetaminophen which is a liver killer in high doses. That's why, even after alcohol problems that led to liver problems, I could only get morphine er and oxycodone without acetaminophen. That acetaminophen will in high doses kill you.
Adderall is a stimulant and one of the last things a withdrawalling person would want.
One of the biggest problems with shrinks is many do not understand that sometimes people just want to get high for fun. It is always: what is the deeper issue that is causing you to mask your pain?
Hey, dickhead( not you, many shrinks) sometimes people just want to get loaded.
Yes, some people use drugs to kill pain, but other just want to have fun. This fun can destroy lives and futures granted. I have my own issues. The pain sometimes is because of the addiction and subsequent problems that it causes and nothing else. Not every addict was abused as a child or has underlying emotional/ psychological problems.
I say tell him nothing, stay the fuck off any recreational opiates and the suboxone may be a mistake. If Possible stay off it and opiates before you have really serious issues.
 
Jnowhere said:
I got to be honest bro, shrinks can not be trusted. They may have an MD but they almost never have any real idea of the pain that people with substance abuse have. They make there money not by curing people, but by making them dependant on them. He probably knew that junkies care( sorry, I am not judging but being honrest) about their next fix more than paying there doctor bills or copay (I have no idea your friends situation or where you guys live or money situation) or have no insurance or money for shrinks. You sound as If you can sort of function( roof over head, go to shrink, pay bills ect...)
I have had issues with alcohol ( don't drink any more and I thank the Lord I am literally allergic to it)
But have pill issues because I had pancreatitus and am trying to get off 2 of the three I used to long term( morphine er and Ativan, ( Lorazepam) but need Oxy for other pain.
I regret taking the first two for 6 years or more and now trying to get off them.
I would never jeopardize a script you need, but I would take a good look an say, How much is this shrink really helping me.
Getting and staying clean is hard for many, including me. But you sound similar to me in your low level( quantity of drugs you take) use.

A psychiatrist is not the best option for getting off drugs. They too are also human( sort of, just kidding) and he( depending on his personality) might be mad at you and do just what you fear. You should avoid opiates, unless it is for real pain
Opiate withdrawal depression is different than clinical depression.
Your opiate use/abuse seems low level and maybe you should get off them and stay away from opiates and the Subs

The Adderall seems like a nightmare when going through withdrawals, but your use sounds moderate. Percocet has oxycodone in a lower dose and acetaminophen which is a liver killer in high doses. That's why, even after alcohol problems that led to liver problems, I could only get morphine er and oxycodone without acetaminophen. That acetaminophen will in high doses kill you.
Adderall is a stimulant and one of the last things a withdrawalling person would want.
One of the biggest problems with shrinks is many do not understand that sometimes people just want to get high for fun. It is always: what is the deeper issue that is causing you to mask your pain?
Hey, dickhead( not you, many shrinks) sometimes people just want to get loaded.
Yes, some people use drugs to kill pain, but other just want to have fun. This fun can destroy lives and futures granted. I have my own issues. The pain sometimes is because of the addiction and subsequent problems that it causes and nothing else. Not every addict was abused as a child or has underlying emotional/ psychological problems.
I say tell him nothing, stay the fuck off any recreational opiates and the suboxone may be a mistake. If Possible stay off it and opiates before you have really serious issues.
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what i didnt mention was that i was with my doc a good 7 tears before this. i never took oxy or any opiate except for the time i tore my hamstring and i still didnt use much
but i got hooked and youll think this is ridiculous - because im a competitive bodybuilder - and where i live - the community, lots of parties weddings..very close community. i need to have drinks or something in me to relax and socialize etc. drinking alcohol is the wosrt thing for a bbers physique. training the next day would be rough - let alone the hinders of your physique prepping for a contest.
so i said, ill take oxy since when i did take them, they made me very outgoing and incredibly motivated. slowly i took more and more for about a year on and off
i own a biz, etc. my doc looks at me like a stand up guy - who just happens to have anxiety, and depression.

so if i tell him hey i been taking this and that the last 2 years on and off i need your help - im afraid like you said he could drop me. i know his personality but its hard to gauge how he will react.

all i want is his help. help me with a ween off subs. i dont take any opiates and havent since feb (was night of the superbowl) but started subs - which i prob didnt need. i had no idea of their dependence. i stayed on them for the depression. but i have to come off. im exhausted and unmotivated.
it really sucks man. i have a great life - but i cant enjoy it
 
I know how oxycodone works, I felt horrible earlier and took two( for the record I always am perscribed the ones withhout acetaminophen( they have more oxycodone in them and don't damage your liver even a fraction of what the ones with it, can do in high doses) to avoid any morphine and withdrawals. I think the subs are not right for you and if you can avoid them, please do it. I know what you mean about oxy, for me the morphine really helped deal with the pain and oxycodone makes you feel mentally alert, happy and full of energy. Like right now, I am alone, I have no friends( severe alcohol abuse made me an outcast) my whole family has died off but I am happy( I do feel bad for a guy like you who has a great life but is having it screwed up because of pills and now subs).
I had a close friend in college, who worked out alot, got a degree in kinesiology, became a personal trainer and owns a gym. He always watched what he ate, would nurse a beer all night and never get loaded: Why he would jog and work out every or almost every morning and usually after class hit the gym.
I used to work out, then I started drinking, hitting the weights after a long night was brutal and all empty calories. I can absolutely see how oxycodone could be great in a festive social setting. I am not too familiar with subs but I would be careful about using to many benzos to get off them. They will leave tired and with a worse addiction( like one I am fighting now with Ativan( lorazepam) and morphine)
So I can understand why parties with friends and a normal social life would be seriously tough for someone who is into competitive bodybuilding. I think( just remember I am no expert) that the subs are not really appropriate, and will make things worse. I am just wondering, are you getting them from a doctor and could you possibly taper them off? Your use( of oxy) seems a little light to go on suboxone.
 
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I hate to say this but your use of klonipin(clonezapam), may be the source of a lot of your problems. I am fighting a dependence on Ativan, that helped me for a while, but I used it too long. But dude I went online and looked up Klonipin( maybe they spell it different where you are) but wow the side affects of long term use are horrible and mixing with opiates is bad. Suicidal thoughts is common and withdraw is very long term. Maybe long term use is right for you or maybe it isn't, but this ain't a drug you can quit cold turkey, so losing your script is not really an option, and that opiod use and klonipin could cause breathing problems, which considering your a bodybuilder, that seems scary. I am not a doctor but trust me, I know about anxiety and panic attacks. I know that being enslaved by benzos and opiods can be a true nightmare. I am fighting both but you seem to have a lot to lose. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.
 
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Jnowhere said:
I hate to say this but your use of klonipin(clonezapam), may be the source of a lot of your problems. I am fighting a dependence on Ativan, that helped me for a while, but I used it too long. But dude I went online and looked up Klonipin( maybe they spell it different where you are) but wow the side affects of long term use are horrible and mixing with opiates is bad. Suicidal thoughts is common and withdraw is very long term. Maybe long term use is right for you or maybe it isn't, but this ain't a drug you can quit cold turkey, so losing your script is not really an option, and that opiod use and klonipin could cause breathing problems, which considering your a bodybuilder, that seems scary. I am not a doctor but trust me, I know about anxiety and panic attacks. I know that being enslaved by benzos and opiods can be a true nightmare. I am fighting both but you seem to have a lot to lose. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.
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i was on klons 13 years before and i felt fine - i dont abuse them. but yes im prob dependant on them. i am on them for life - have accepted that. but i need a schedule to come off the subs. thats my whole point of this thread - to get help from my doc but im afraid he will drop me.
until then i have to stay on them so i dont go thru withdrawals. im on about 3mg a day and its been about 6 months total.
i was on 6mg - that was before i realized how bad they were. i had no idea until someone told me. but now down to 3mg. i guess ill just stay at this dose and keep taking my welbutrin

appreciate your help - ill try to do it myself i suppose.
 
Jnowhere said:
I know how oxycodone works, I felt horrible earlier and took two( for the record I always am perscribed the ones withhout acetaminophen( they have more oxycodone in them and don't damage your liver even a fraction of what the ones with it, can do in high doses) to avoid any morphine and withdrawals. I think the subs are not right for you and if you can avoid them, please do it. I know what you mean about oxy, for me the morphine really helped deal with the pain and oxycodone makes you feel mentally alert, happy and full of energy. Like right now, I am alone, I have no friends( severe alcohol abuse made me an outcast) my whole family has died off but I am happy( I do feel bad for a guy like you who has a great life but is having it screwed up because of pills and now subs).
I had a close friend in college, who worked out alot, got a degree in kinesiology, became a personal trainer and owns a gym. He always watched what he ate, would nurse a beer all night and never get loaded: Why he would jog and work out every or almost every morning and usually after class hit the gym.
I used to work out, then I started drinking, hitting the weights after a long night was brutal and all empty calories. I can absolutely see how oxycodone could be great in a festive social setting. I am not too familiar with subs but I would be careful about using to many benzos to get off them. They will leave tired and with a worse addiction( like one I am fighting now with Ativan( lorazepam) and morphine)
So I can understand why parties with friends and a normal social life would be seriously tough for someone who is into competitive bodybuilding. I think( just remember I am no expert) that the subs are not really appropriate, and will make things worse. I am just wondering, are you getting them from a doctor and could you possibly taper them off? Your use( of oxy) seems a little light to go on suboxone.
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it was light. i did it myself. i should have never got on the subs. i totally messed up. or i should have only used them for a few days and got off. i totally fucked up and now im paying the price. and to make matters worse, im hiding from my wife. i dont want to disappoint her, she would be very upset and would ask why would you do that? she thinks im just having depression like a normal person would - she doesnt know its being caused from the subs prob. i can also be exacerbating the symptoms by thinking about it. i honestly wasnt that bad until someone told me how hard it was to get off. i thought i can get off anytime.
i was naieve and ignorant
btw, not getting from doc
 
Ok If your on Klonipin for life, than let's just leave it alone, you at realize that it is kind of all or nothing. We'll leave it alone. What about the the subs: what do they do to you if you lower dose by say .5mg every 2 to 4 weeks till you are off, is that possible. Can you even jump down to 2mgs when she is gone a few days and you haven't got much to do. The longer you stay on the worse it is.
 
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Jnowhere said:
Ok If your no Klondike for life, than let's just leave it alone, you at realize that it is kind of all or nothing. What do the subs do to you if you lower dose?
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yea i suffer from PTSD and thats why im on klons. im precribed 4mg a day but i never take that many and i always have left over from my script every month.
as far as subs, i went from 6mg - not long at that dose, but went that high cuz of a cancer scare. turned out it was just a small cyst - while waiting i was freaking and going higher on the subs helped me feel better. went to 3mg decently. tried 2 but i think that was too fast of a drop because i felt so exhausted and unmotivated when i wake up daily
will go to 2.5 next week and down .5 every 10-14 days i suppose.
ill be honest. my workouts are fine. i could train relatively hard and not have issues. i get good pumps and im able to finish all training sessions. it has also helped with my depression some - but then it wears off after a few hours

regardless, thanks for your help - i deeply appreciate it
i guess i wont tell the doc if you think he might quit me
 
I really am here for you, because it really does bother me that a guy with a great life, messed up a bit and now the "cure" is the problem. Not to mininimalize your oxycodone use, but you took the route of a hard core long time junkie: sorry to be bruttally honest, but the subs are over kill.
Then there is the wife issue. The fact you hid it will probably piss her off more than the problem. I could be wrong, I don't know the situation with your marriage, but women tend to think, what else is he hiding, even when there is nothing. Having your wife pissed at you, if that would be case, will make it worse.
I think your best bet is to get of the subs and only take opiates when prescribed and genuinely needed as you said you did in past.
The opiates got to go, because of many reasons, especially since you have a wife and opiates tend to kill one's libido. Being accused of cheating when your really not: Sucks and kills marriages needlessly.
 
Trust me, you want keep two very important relationships intact, your marriage and the shrink who writes the klonipin scripts. If you have the mental strength to go through all that being a competitive body builder entails: than you almost certainly have it in you to beat this: beat this, put this in your past and remember it( but don't dwell on it) so there is no relapse.
 
yea im done with opiates. thats why i got on the subs for the withdrawals. ill never take them again, although i did think about getting on them to help get off subs due to the shorter half life. i was suggested this from someone - and it sounds like it would make sense - but then im afraid it will just make matters worseke
she knows i messed with oxy but thinks i got off and was done. she wasnt too bad with it. but i dont want her to know about the subs. sex is good since im off opiates - subs dont seem to bother me.
im in good shape and health. just did bloodwork and scans recently and all clear except for a small liver cyst.
but again, ill never take opiates again. i just wanted to see if i could tell my doc to help me ween and maybe he would know what other psych meds to give me.
thats it. thats all i want :)
 
Jnowhere said:
Trust me, you want keep two very important relationships intact, your marriage and the shrink who writes the klonipin scripts. If you have the mental strength to go through all that being a competitive body builder entails: than you almost certainly have it in you to beat this: beat this, put this in your past and remember it( but don't dwell on it) so there is no relapse.
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thank you for that.
thats the advice i will take. i appreciate you taking the time to advise me. thank you kindly :)
 
Antidepressants are not for when needed use. Amps and ssri's in and out of your system would cause anxiety. You're messing your brain up
 
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