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masturbation since childhood caused personality disorder

I love my wife she is everything to me i been with her since we were 15 my old man. kicked me out the house took my truck and money he qwed me because i wanted to marry a white girl . I chose her over everything we are happy I got a successful business on my own she and her sister inherited thousands of acres from Reading to Bakersfield . Four great children but i cant help it . Its weird i was taught by my uncle its ok to cheat as long as you come home to the women you love . I risk everything for se that is no way as good. as it is with my wife .
Her family treated me like their own when i was kicked out with 30 dollars in my pocket took me to a Peterbilt showroom ready to buy me a brand new one 130 000 in those days i brought used one for 50 000 paid him back in year he not want it i beentaught to stand on own two feet i love them like i do my own . I trying real hard my dream is to be old with my wife our kids over with their kid our grandkids and us beanming with pride i wont hurt her i have never loved no other girl but her from 15 to 47 she still turns me on getting changed in the morning . My only wish is i die before her im nothing without her
No I get it about cheating and the temptations I just couldn't do it. I did other damage like alcohol and drugs instead. Same thing as cheating when you get down to it
 
No I get it about cheating and the temptations I just couldn't do it. I did other damage like alcohol and drugs instead. Same thing as cheating when you get down to it
It is like cheating you miss so much with the wife same with me i done drugs 32 years she never known me without drugs a lot i missed with her
 
It is like cheating you miss so much with the wife same with me i done drugs 32 years she never known me without drugs a lot i missed with her
Last 5 years I was married I definitely put the partying above my wife. Wife is supposed to be the Queen and nothing comes before her. Anything else is cheating to a degree imo. We both fell outta love tho
 
I love my wife she is everything to me i been with her since we were 15 my old man. kicked me out the house took my truck and money he qwed me because i wanted to marry a white girl . I chose her over everything we are happy I got a successful business on my own she and her sister inherited thousands of acres from Reading to Bakersfield . Four great children but i cant help it . Its weird i was taught by my uncle its ok to cheat as long as you come home to the women you love . I risk everything for se that is no way as good. as it is with my wife .
Her family treated me like their own when i was kicked out with 30 dollars in my pocket took me to a Peterbilt showroom ready to buy me a brand new one 130 000 in those days i brought used one for 50 000 paid him back in year he not want it i beentaught to stand on own two feet i love them like i do my own . I trying real hard my dream is to be old with my wife our kids over with their kid our grandkids and us beanming with pride i wont hurt her i have never loved no other girl but her from 15 to 47 she still turns me on getting changed in the morning . My only wish is i die before her im nothing without her
Have either of you ever considered an open relationship?

Like I'm totally devoted to my fiance and sex with him is the most meaningful sex and all-round fulfilling experience I can have. But we both still crave sex with other people. The criterion is absolute trust and absolute honesty. You don't have sex with someone else behind your partner's back. You are totally clear with whatever third person gets involved that it's sex and nothing else. I fuck other guys, and so does he. But we only 'make love' to each other. Zero emotional commitment outside of the relationship.
 
Have either of you ever considered an open relationship?

Like I'm totally devoted to my fiance and sex with him is the most meaningful sex and all-round fulfilling experience I can have. But we both still crave sex with other people. The criterion is absolute trust and absolute honesty. You don't have sex with someone else behind your partner's back. You are totally clear with whatever third person gets involved that it's sex and nothing else. I fuck other guys, and so does he. But we only 'make love' to each other. Zero emotional commitment outside of the relationship.
I couldn't do that. To me sex is the ultimate emotional commitment. Not bashing on you just saying someone else with my girl would ruin me.
 
I couldn't do that. To me sex is the ultimate emotional commitment. Not bashing on you just saying someone else with my girl would ruin me.
Nah totally get you. It doesn't work for most people. It takes a lot of compatibility in very specific ways. To me sex is just something physical. It's not meaningful in itself. Sharing it with someone you have genuine feelings for is what makes it meaningful.
 
Have either of you ever considered an open relationship?

Like I'm totally devoted to my fiance and sex with him is the most meaningful sex and all-round fulfilling experience I can have. But we both still crave sex with other people. The criterion is absolute trust and absolute honesty. You don't have sex with someone else behind your partner's back. You are totally clear with whatever third person gets involved that it's sex and nothing else. I fuck other guys, and so does he. But we only 'make love' to each other. Zero emotional commitment outside of the relationship.
My wife is a devout catholic i was her first boyfriend at 15 its her beliefs i think kept us together . I crave drug sex i was brought up to believe men cheat as long as they come home to wife its ok but not the other way around .
The thing is me and my wife have a great see life and see with her is the best i don't know why i cheat . I love the feeling that a women likes me so much she spend a night in hotel with me . After that i lose interest i had a fucked up childhood maybe that's something to do with it . I would never feel guilt but now it eating inside me .

I know i sound like a cunt but we have a great time together love each other so much . I promised her no matter my drug use she never want for anything and i kept that for 13 years i kept promise to not iv heroin but i broke that but only do that once every couple of months when i just need that escape . I cant even say how many times i cheated on her its all the time . She turns me on like no other women can she smart looks more beautiful as we age
 
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While we're on the subject, my drinking and drug-taking definitely contributed to the breakup of my longest, most serious relationship. It doesn't excuse her for cheating on me, but I definitely wasn't present for her like I should have been.
 
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