Awwww….Thank you so much.
Love you.
I appreciate the assistance. Sorry that I didn’t make it back here until now.
It has been hectic.
I have felt much better with a lower dosage of suboxone.
Lowering the dose down was what I needed to do.
It is hell trying to manage this condition with what I have available to me now.
The doctors are not doing their jobs. In fact, it seems like they have been bought and paid for.
They only do what they are told and not what evidence shows and or patient in unacceptable condition says.
Not what they know to be right within their own hearts.
It seems very few people have mercy and compassion in them!
Pain can get so much worse than I ever imagined.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.
I worry about the others like me also. OMG!
The suffering they are putting people through, needlessly is nonsense and ridiculous.
The good news, is that I am showing some improvement on a lower dosage.
I am eating (way less) but I am not losing too much weight anymore.
I’m sleeping pretty good too. Some bad night sweats and hot - cold flashes, but better.
I am noticing that I am becoming interested in things again.
Like, I have been cleaning, organizing, decorating. Cooking.
I have been reading again too. I love to read and used to enjoy that so much.
I haven’t been able to hold my attention on a book like I can now, in a very long time.
I have also been shopping.
I have gotten an entire new wardrobe. One where everything in my closet’s fits me and I choose it.
I learned how to do Internet shopping.
That is a little worrisome because I spent a little $$.
Good Luck happened upon me though.
I am getting enough back in tax’s to pretty much cover it.
Cannot spend too much money when you don’t have it.
It feels nice though, to have a new wardrobe.
I have been working on it since last winter. Getting something nice (on major sale) and stocking up on everything.
I have fun chasing down the items I want and watching them for sale and clearance.

How I love clearance. I tell ya friends.
But, I am taking an interest in my appearance more.
I pit on makeup a lot more often.
I have gone to the salon and had my hair done.
I feel lighter with the haircut (it is lighter, I have long hair) but it feels lighter in a different and good way.
Feels ALIVE!
Clean and healthy is what I am concentrating on.
Cleaning out the spare room and all my closet space, getting rid of some things that had bad memories attached.
That helped. Being organized helps me a lot.
I’m sure the clothing I gave away will reach those whom are in need.
Always feels good to help others.
I’m noticing some changes taking place that I like.

I think those things ^ I mentioned are progress.
What do you guys think?
I cannot afford Kratom all the time. It is nice to know that it does work in an emergency though.
Seeing as how things are improving in ways, I’m going to hold here and wait and see how it goes.
I am having some mild early withdrawal symptoms like sore throat, watery eyes. Etc..
Need to hold here and see how it goes for awhile.
You are right, with me taking morphine for so long……I may have to continue to take a lower dosage.
My brain is used to the morphine. It is probably making things flare up because it wants the morphine.
This is really hard.
You are just left in a “Free Fall” type condition.
Hoping things shape up to be positive.
I am putting that positive effort in to this.
There has to be a way with suboxone and cannabis to manage my pain and debilitating symptoms.
It isn’t ideal by any means. It’s like trying to bake over a matchstick or something.
Like they told the doctors “There is NO helping anyone anymore! That is unacceptable behavior.”
I couldn’t believe how cold blooded my new doctor was to me at my last appointment.
Just a hand on my shoulder would have been the appropriate thing to do. Common decency in fact!
It sucks that they are judging you only on the “drug addict” problem too!
It is infinitely irritating when they seem to know nothing about your health problems even though you have told them and they have records. Or should have records! I provided them with statements, diagnosis, test results from other doctors and specialists.
ALL of whom have said “You have to go to pain management “
She told me “you need to see a neurologist, then get in to pain management “.
I just looked at her and said “yeah, that is what I already did and was doing!”
This “new doctor” isn’t exactly new to me either.
She was the nurse practitioner who filled in and had to do most the work by the end of my other DOCTOR retiring.
We are winging it on a hope and a prayer here friends.
Hope you all are doing well.
I send my love to ya all’s
