• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health It’s been 1 year this month since I sent a bullet through my face. (Graphic Details)(Very Long)

I have never been to counseling. I wouldn't even know how or what to say.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
III'd say that is why there was a trigger/content warning before the link? Like a really extensive, detailed one?

Yeah, the PMing sounds a good idea. I'm not gonna do it, though as I feel kinda disrespectful messaging OP to ask for the pic :/...like I don't wanna sound like I'm just trying to ogle it.

I have a much milder version of suicide-attempt damage, just in that I've slit my wrists many times, including length-ways down my forearms down to the bone, so I kinda get it...like, people will stare if I just have a tshirt on.

Scary to think I'd be dead if I lived in the US where everyone has a gun. Or had the same experience as OP/
Click to expand...
Im not scared of guns necessarily, even here in the Southern US and after attempting my own life, I respect them and have pretty extensive training with them. I however respect the fact lots of people don’t like them including my family so I keep them them locked away until I have a need to carry one or a desire to go out and do some target practice. I accept it as a reality of the world we live in, one day the system we live in will collapse and I’ll need a way to protect myself or put food on the table. My wife always keeps a close eye on me and the firearms both, it’s a terrible way to go and a traumatic one as well. I wish we lived in a perfect world where nobody felt the need to harm themselves or take their own life, but the best I can do is bring awareness to the fact that it does happen and the trauma it will cause.
 
I don
hylite said:
We are so lucky you are here right now !!!
And you really do feel like somebody different ?

Like you are learning to live life all over again.

Or maybe just more aware now and closer to that feeling of higher power ? <3😢

💙🕊️
Click to expand...
I don’t feel any different, it was more like a switch flipped and I knew what needed to be done to save myself and repair the damage. I worked hard, I still work hard, sometimes I do want to give up, but I have the resources at my disposal to get help if I’m feeling like I’m gonna relapse or if I’m depressed. It helps having family and a wife that will pick you back up after a fall. I understand not everyone has that safety net. In the end you have to realize that even if you are alone you have to do it for you, and form new bonds as you go on even if that task seems impossible. I’m not a different person now, I’m just a better one, better at managing my thoughts and emotions, and better at managing my actions.
 
How long has it been. Did it take a long time to heal. Did medical staff and doctors have empathy ?


You don't have to take medication now do you ?
 
e82I96q.png
 
I apologize if I keep asking the same questions but you seem strong to answer.

It's just real tough at the moment. The sentences keep moving around and it is just really hard to read right now. :(

I am going to read this again when I have a moment when I can and will And the page looks too overwhelming but I am slowly going to find out alright ? PLease thnxx.

I guess patients really is a virtue when it is needed ? Thank you for understanding. You have such a kind disposition. You have a good heart.

I will be alright my eyes are just adjusting through some things right now.

I mean it when I say I will not forget you though. 💙🕊️
 
hylite said:
How long has it been. Did it take a long time to heal. Did medical staff and doctors have empathy ?


You don't have to take medication now do you ?
Click to expand...
It’s been a year this month, October 13th will be a year. And it did take time to heal, I’m still healing long after the physical wounds have gone. I had some decent medical staff, some good some not so much, I was on 24 hour watch per policy and some nurses were awesome some were a buzzkill. The hospital stay is patchy for me, I was on IV fentanyl till I was dropped to Oxys a couple of days before I left and continued Oxys for about a week until I could eat solid food then it was a taper to nothing. I don’t take medication but I was prescribed lithium, immediately threw it away, I have bad reactions to antipsychotics and SSRI medication. The actual physical wound itself took a long time to heal, I had no stitches it was all left open to heal on its own. I still have tightness and some pretty extensive nerve damage but it’s not debilitating or anything. The swelling didn’t fully go down for probably 3 months, I had swelling in the area for weeks but it was tolerable.
 
G_Chem said:
A mod did remove it. While the bravery is beyond a doubt commendable, the simple fact is not everyone has the stomach to handle those types of pictures. If OP doesn’t mind PM’ing anyone interested the link, that sounds a good idea from my perspective.

-GC
Click to expand...
I’d like to see it. I don’t feel I or anyone needs a modasitter?
 
G_Chem said:
A mod did remove it. While the bravery is beyond a doubt commendable, the simple fact is not everyone has the stomach to handle those types of pictures. If OP doesn’t mind PM’ing anyone interested the link, that sounds a good idea from my perspective.

-GC
Click to expand...

ChemicallyEnhanced said:
I'd say that is why there was a trigger/content warning before the link? Like a really extensive, detailed one?

Yeah, the PMing sounds a good idea. I'm not gonna do it, though as I feel kinda disrespectful messaging OP to ask for the pic :/...like I don't wanna sound like I'm just trying to ogle it.

I have a much milder version of suicide-attempt damage, just in that I've slit my wrists many times, including length-ways down my forearms down to the bone, so I kinda get it...like, people will stare if I just have a tshirt on.

Scary to think I'd be dead if I lived in the US where everyone has a gun. Or had the same experience as OP/
Click to expand...
After discussion with the mod team, photo was re-inserted behind NSFW tab.
 
GEMINITHEKID said:
Im not scared of guns necessarily, even here in the Southern US and after attempting my own life, I respect them and have pretty extensive training with them. I however respect the fact lots of people don’t like them including my family so I keep them them locked away until I have a need to carry one or a desire to go out and do some target practice. I accept it as a reality of the world we live in, one day the system we live in will collapse and I’ll need a way to protect myself or put food on the table. My wife always keeps a close eye on me and the firearms both, it’s a terrible way to go and a traumatic one as well. I wish we lived in a perfect world where nobody felt the need to harm themselves or take their own life, but the best I can do is bring awareness to the fact that it does happen and the trauma it will cause.
Click to expand...

I think it's a common American delusion that ANYONE needs guns. Like, the only reason people in the US need guns is because people in the US have guns.

1) Police in the U.S. shot and killed more innocent people in March 2018 than UK police have killed people TOTAL in the past 100 years.

2) Accidental shooting either by themselves or a family member who lives with them is the FIFTH leading cause of death in Americans aged 1-19. That's fucking INSANE.
 
hylite said:
We are so lucky you are here right now !!!
And you really do feel like somebody different ?

Like you are learning to live life all over again.

Or maybe just more aware now and closer to that feeling of higher power ? <3😢

💙🕊️
Click to expand...

I love you hylite and the pure joy your posts often bring, but please don't with the "higher power"
 
Jerry Atrick said:
After discussion with the mod team, photo was re-inserted behind NSFW tab.
Click to expand...

Oh, OP was very lucky! I expected so much worse in my mind!
I think 'cause I've seen images/videos of people who've like used shotguns and literally blow their face off.
Anyone who's seen like Traces of Death or Faces of Gore prolly know what I mean.
 
I'm glad you lived and don't try it again.
My husband had a hard time overseas and after leaving the military he was so lost so he turned to heroin. My last words were not to nice because I wouldn't let him in the house because he was high. Tried tough love thing.

Later that night I heard a shot and ran down to the basement to find the love of my life in a pool of blood. Words cannot describe the pain. Cops had to haul me off his body.

I only had my dad for support and nows he's gone but my life has never been the same. I started drinking then drugs and almost 15 years later my life
Is a mess. I keep relapsing. I can't have a functional relationship because I'm terrified of that feeling of loss.

It ended his pain but just started mine.
I've thought of it myself, lately more then ever but as much as my mother abused and neglected me I don't want her to hurt as I did.

His family blame me, I blame me. No amount of therapy or drugs will change that. It's a hurt that don't get better.

Anyone thinking of doing it just don't. Think of your family and friends.

I'm happy you have a chance to live a happy life and your wife sounds pretty amazing.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
I think it's a common American delusion that ANYONE needs guns. Like, the only reason people in the US need guns is because people in the US have guns.

1) Police in the U.S. shot and killed more innocent people in March 2018 than UK police have killed people TOTAL in the past 100 years.

2) Accidental shooting either by themselves or a family member who lives with them is the FIFTH leading cause of death in Americans aged 1-19. That's fucking INSANE.
Click to expand...

Number 1 is reason why we have to have them too.. If we could magically take away all the guns in this country (both citizens and our heavily armed police state) then yes it would be a better place. Simple fact is that just ain’t happening.

Also if we look at other stats… UK people much more greatly fear walking outside at night than folks in the US. Total crimes in UK is half of the US, but US population is 40x!! 2x more rape victims. 2x the assault victims. Higher total crime victims. Twice as much robbery victims. 1/4 of the car thefts with again 1/40th the population.

Don’t even get me started on the fact you guys hand out drug offenses more so than just about any other nation. 327 times more than US! You guys got it all figured it out.. We may lock more up but even that is changing with Biden releasing many cannabis users (which makes up a huge portion of our drug inmates.)

Guns are like drugs. They aren’t going anywhere, they’re easier to make than most drugs, best we can do is learn to live with.

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
Number 1 is reason why we have to have them too.. If we could magically take away all the guns in this country (both citizens and our heavily armed police state) then yes it would be a better place. Simple fact is that just ain’t happening.

Also if we look at other stats… UK people much more greatly fear walking outside at night than folks in the US. Total crimes in UK is half of the US, but US population is 40x!! 2x more rape victims. 2x the assault victims. Higher total crime victims. Twice as much robbery victims. 1/4 of the car thefts with again 1/40th the population.

Don’t even get me started on the fact you guys hand out drug offenses more so than just about any other nation. 327 times more than US! You guys got it all figured it out.. We may lock more up but even that is changing with Biden releasing many cannabis users (which makes up a huge portion of our drug inmates.)

Guns are like drugs. They aren’t going anywhere, they’re easier to make than most drugs, best we can do is learn to live with.

-GC
Click to expand...

No, people in the UK fear walking outside MUCH less than in the US. Because you won't get shot here lol. And SIGNIFICANTLY less likely to be hate crimed.

No way people get prosecuted for drugs 327 more than the U.S.? I've had literal hard drugs on me (as much as an ounce) and only had it confiscated.
Having said that, I agree with you about drugs laws in general here. They are extremely strict and often ridiculous.
Cannabis was a Class C drug (lowest class of the illicit drugs) and they actually bumped it UP to a Class B purely because they think using it will make people more likely to use harder drugs :/
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top