Social Trans People & Dating Apps (Offshoot Thread from Gay Guys Thread)

[DeathIndustrial88]

People should just be themselves. It use to be that simple.
But now people have to use terms like "CIS". This was not a thing 30 years ago. People just were who they were.
Now you're suppose to check mark 50 different identity labels on things.

I prefer individualism myself. Which means I cannot be put into little boxes. So when I see some one who has to do this with people they interact with, I suspect that person has identity issue themselves or something. I know who I am.

I may look straight & over all confuse people when I tell them I'm gay, but I'm also sensitive, emotional & many other traits that are generally attributed to "women".
But to me, they're just HUMAN traits that anyone can have.

People who have to label others for their own mental comfort are going to find it very hard to get a long with people, because you cannot tell others how to think or abandon how they've been conditioned. And when you label them as something you hate, you immediately cut off your chances of actually getting to know that person on a personal and INDIVIDUAL level.

 

[Foreigner]

@Foreigner you could literally change one word in your sentence and it would reflect reality.

*Some* cis gay men are in to cock. Some... Do not care. My support worker is one of those. Has fucked cis men, has fucked trans men. Won't fuck a cis woman.

No LTR with cis gay men for trans men? Well, golly gee. I better call up my 3 cis gay ex boyfriends and tell them they don't exist. Lmfao. Right.

For the last time: GOOD FOR THEM. I don't care! I don't give one single fuck! I am simply stating MY PREFERENCES and that does not make my transphobic. Do you get it yet???

 

[Foreigner]

'trans men are part women'

You are doing the work for me here. Misgendering, again. Transphobic.

A transgender man with full GRS is almost indistinguishable on sight with a natal man and you cant see chromosomes anyway so you wouldn't know any better.

I accept I'll never be a biological man.

Getting transphobes to accept their bigotry or even the concept that they don't get to define what transphobia is because they're not trans is remarkably difficult.

Somewhere the world's smallest violin is playing.

They are not "indistinguishable" from natal men. Google prosthetic penises. The difference is obvious. Great that some guys accept that. Not me. NOPE.

You can call me a bigot all you want but it'll never be true. It only highlights your delusion further. It's just gaslighting at this point. You are trying to tell me that my sexual preferences aren't reality by calling me a bigot. I think you're incredibly homophobic, not to mention delusional and entitled AF.

You are NOT entitled to my attraction just because you THINK you (or anyone like you) is "indistinguishable" from a natal man. I can spot the difference. I don't need to analyze their sex chromosomes. They don't have a real dick. And as soon as I see that fake dick (or a vagina), it's over. Furthermore, you already agreed there is a difference. Now you're saying the opposite.

You just don't seem to get it, and that's fine, it's no skin off my back. But you should know that you are delusional. Anyone who thinks I'm a transphobe simply because I want a real dick is delusional. If you can someday get a real dick, then we might be in business. Until then, nope nope nope.

 

[lonelyDude]

We are meant to be together, spending our days playing animal crossing on the front porch while the sun sets over our cottage in the conservative American midwest. A dramatic intercontinental romance, trans and cis prevented only by the fact that I will never have $90,000 in my bank account to pay for my phalloplasty. So alas, he remains out of my reach and I spend my days in homoerotic longing for the man who showed me the world of animal crossing and we share our love.

that sounds rather worrying and maybe even a little creepy.

little bit like fatal attraction to me.

 

[lonelyDude]

but I guess fantasies dont hurt so long as they stay that.

ive seen worse.

 

[arrall]

unless you can get an admin to say I have a unique IP

You have a unique IP.
Omw to work right now but I’d appreciate if we keep the ad hominems/personal insults far away from SLR.

 

[lonelyDude]

unique ip numbers cost a few bucks a month on a 1000Mbit link...

 

[Foreigner]

I'm going to make this very simple for you because big brain is struggling.

Genital preference = not transphobic.

Excluding trans people because they are trans = transphobic.

Having a sexual preference would include trans men, as they are men. Other gay men don't have an issue with this, it's just your tiny group.

I'll cut your post short here because this is where the logic severely deteriorates.

If I require real penises, then that by virtue excludes trans men.

I am not excluding them BECAUSE they are trans but BECAUSE they don't have a real dick.

Honestly, I give up. You are so delusional that there is no getting through to you. You think that because someone doesn't want to bang you for not having a real dick that they hate you. There's nothing I can do with that level of trauma-informed entitlement. Go see a therapist and stop taking out your shit on me. You're no different than straight women who feel entitled to try and convert gay men.

And no... I don't think that I'm god's gift and that everyone wants to bang me. But I have been approached by trans men before and I have to say no for the reasons I already explained.

The fact that you don't get something super basic as it has already been explained to you 10 times now, just shows you are mentally ill.

Call me transphobic all you want, I couldn't care less. Being insulted by a delusional, mentally ill person who won't unpack their own trauma means absolutely nothing to me. I personally think you are creepy AF and I would not want to be around you even AS A FRIEND let alone somebody who thinks they are en par to a natal man with a real dick and should be treated as such, especially by trying to gaslight people over their sexual preferences. I won't internalize YOUR guilt about being trans. I am happy the way I am and I love men with real dicks. That's NEVER going to change no matter what you call me.

 

[Robi]

that sounds rather worrying and maybe even a little creepy.

little bit like fatal attraction to me.

he was joking `round, though i could see them in their rocking chairs, focus on animal crossing while the teapot whistles

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

I'll cut your post short here because this is where the logic severely deteriorates.

If I require real penises, then that by virtue excludes trans men.

I am not excluding them BECAUSE they are trans but BECAUSE they don't have a real dick.

Honestly, I give up. You are so delusional that there is no getting through to you. You think that because someone doesn't want to bang you for not having a real dick that they hate you. There's nothing I can do with that level of trauma-informed entitlement. Go see a therapist and stop taking out your shit on me. You're no different than straight women who feel entitled to try and convert gay men.

And no... I don't think that I'm god's gift and that everyone wants to bang me. But I have been approached by trans men before and I have to say no for the reasons I already explained.

The fact that you don't get something super basic as it has already been explained to you 10 times now, just shows you are mentally ill.

Call me transphobic all you want, I couldn't care less. Being insulted by a delusional, mentally ill person who won't unpack their own trauma means absolutely nothing to me. I personally think you are creepy AF and I would not want to be around you even AS A FRIEND let alone somebody who thinks they are en par to a natal man with a real dick and should be treated as such, especially by trying to gaslight people over their sexual preferences. I won't internalize YOUR guilt about being trans. I am happy the way I am and I love men with real dicks. That's NEVER going to change no matter what you call me.

So i'd imagine you're probably not attracted to trans-women? they have a cock....and you said you're down with that - so maybe - maybe not?


it's like calling somebody racist because they're black and they're not attracted to white people or the other way around....or not being attracted to Asians - or only being attracted to Asians....that's not racism - it's just what you like

it's like me buying black cars - that doesn't mean im scared of the colors of cars, i just don't really like them as much as the black ones i always buy

@Eligiu you're so wrong on labeling anybody anything, that you're easily the biggest bigot here

 

[n3ophy7e]

@Eligiu you're so wrong on labeling anybody anything, that you're easily the biggest bigot here

I agree with everything you said EXCEPT this. If you take the time to chat with Eli and get to know him, you very quickly see that he is definitely not a bigot.

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

oh ok - so i shouldn't label him?

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Genital preference = not transphobic.

Excluding trans people because they are trans = transphobic

But if my genital preference is bonafide pussy, that is pussy born as pussy - that is not transphobic.
So if I then start to date a girl who's a man that's transitioned to female, and has an artificial pussy (read: wound that is constantly trying to heal) - I wouldn't want to date that person because of their genitals. Which means I have genital preference.

But from your point of view this makes me transphobic, too?
Or am I missing something in translation here?

I'm not asking this to be a nuisance. I'm genuinely curious, because it seems according to your definition I'm transphobic.
And if I am transphobic because I want a natural pussy attached to a natural woman, then I guess I am a transphobe.

 

[Foreigner]

So i'd imagine you're probably not attracted to trans-women? they have a cock....and you said you're down with that - so maybe - maybe not?


it's like calling somebody racist because they're black and they're not attracted to white people or the other way around....or not being attracted to Asians - or only being attracted to Asians....that's not racism - it's just what you like

it's like me buying black cars - that doesn't mean im scared of the colors of cars, i just don't really like them as much as the black ones i always buy

@Eligiu you're so wrong on labeling anybody anything, that you're easily the biggest bigot here

No I am not attracted to trans women because they have breasts and look like women. FFS. I am attracted to born-men, natal men, XY, whatever the fuck you want to call it.

I think the race thing is different. There is a lot of research showing that a sizeable portion of humanity tends to mate within their own ethnicity, for various reasons. But there are two sexes everywhere and sex-based dynamics are universal.

The politics peddled by trans people and radical leftists are some of the most hateful, oppressive politics I have ever seen in my life. The irony is that intersectional feminism thinks they are taking down the patriarchy when really they have embodied the WORST qualities of men: domineering, dismissive, harassing, insulting, hateful... all couched in "acceptance."

Gender dysphoria is a psychiatric condition. Trans people are not en par with the other disenfranchised peoples, like gays and bisexuals. They have a mental illness and it shows very clearly in conversations like this, where they think the world is out to get them because we won't sleep with them or support their delusions. The academics are trying to rewrite our social norms to fit the delusions of 1 in 16,000 people. I think trans people should be treated with dignity but they should not be considered the same as natal men, because they aren't. The thing where you get called transphobic for saying they are not the same as natal men is nothing short of societal gaslighting foisted by bougie ivory tower elites and mentally ill trans people.

You can feel the cognitive dissonance when they try to explain this to you. The logic falls flat.

 

[arrall]

1 in 16,000 people

For a condition that is supposedly so rare, we certainly have a ton of trans people here on Bluelight and I have certainly met a ton in my life.

I believe that the actual rate of gender dysphoria is somewhere around 1-4%.

 

[Foreigner]

For a condition that is supposedly so rare, we certainly have a ton of trans people here on Bluelight and I have certainly met a ton in my life.

I believe that the actual rate of gender dysphoria is somewhere around 1-4%.

The literature doesn't agree with your opinion. Right now being trans, queer and "nonbinary" is mostly cultural contagion. By age 25 the majority identify as cis.

Also, without a gender dysphoria diagnosis, you can't be trans. Otherwise there's no way to separate people who are truly trans from people who want to be because it's in vogue.

 

[Foreigner]

But from your point of view this makes me transphobic, too?
Or am I missing something in translation here?

I'm not asking this to be a nuisance. I'm genuinely curious, because it seems according to your definition I'm transphobic.
And if I am transphobic because I want a natural pussy attached to a natural woman, then I guess I am a transphobe.

The answer I was given:
If you are rejecting someone because of their genitals, then that's OK, but if you are rejecting them because they're trans, that's not OK.

It's a non-answer, really.

I won't sleep with any trans men because they are trans because they don't have real dicks, or any dick at all. To me there is no difference. I exclude all trans men as sexual partners on this principle. According to Eligiu, that makes me transphobic. It doesn't make sense if you think about it.

 

[~Winterborn~]

The fact that I like men is what makes me gay. So if I like men, why I would I be attracted to a man who looks like a female? lol

You probably would not be and no one would expect you to be attracted to someone who had lived as a woman and appeared to be a woman just because they said they were a man.

I couldn't date a "man" who was originally a woman either. It wouldn't feel natural to me.

This is interesting to me, what is the line for you? if someone was born as a woman, was completely transitioned and appeared completely male but did not have a penis could you get a blowjob from them? what if hypothetically they could transfer the mind of a woman into the body of a man - could you have sex with them? I am not trying to lead you into some kind of trap here - you can't control who you're attracted to - I'm just interested.

Everyone should be free to like who they like. People have the right to have preferences & their own thoughts.

I agree up until you get to the point of people having preferences that infringe on others. When people have a preference to be around other white people and don't want blacks living in 'their' town, when people have a preference for trans gay men to not be in gay clubs, when people have a preference that Muslims don't send their children to the school their children attend.

 

[~Winterborn~]

I worked on reception at a brothel/escort agency and the #1 out-of-the-ordinary request was for ladyboys (sorry for the terminology there but it works best for me).

I have an ex who had that job while we were together in 2003/04. I continue to feel like we've lived parallel lives.

 

[~Winterborn~]

Gender dysphoria is a psychiatric condition. Trans people are not en par with the other disenfranchised peoples, like gays and bisexuals. They have a mental illness...

Homosexuality was a psychological disorder in the United States until 1973. It took until 1992 for The World Health Organisation to declassified homosexuality as a mental illness. There are still many people who think your attraction to men is a mental illness. Saying 'gender dysphoria is a psychiatric condition' and inferring that trans people are not the same(and are lesser than) other disenfranchised people is bigoted.