I shared with you an opinion. As usual, I attempted to be a little but humorous. We can't be stoic scientists constantly.
You, however, have countered with a direct statement implying both that you understand my thought process and state of mind well enough to critique them and that you judge them to be not right. They are not right because they do not fit your acronym-based definition of complex creatures. I'm sorry but you do not need to be classified and filed to be a proud gay person.
It calls into question my whole life experience from finding gay people "disgusting" as a child to meeting my first gay friends in middle school and coming to love and accept them and the divine release of overcoming my own stupid fears and feeling love where there was once disdain.
My main and primary gripe with the acronym is that it is impractical. I want to discuss issues regarding the community and saying "gay" has been accepted by 90% of people as respectful. Thus I prefer to say "gay rights" and such. It is easier and people get the meaning a ND you know full well that this is true.
I would meditate on my intentions a little but and ask yourself why you felt the need to call out such a deeply, mentally visceral part of me in reaction to what was at worst, stupidity. I have no hate in me and it is my honest belief that my objective love and support for these people in life is sufficient for the universe.
Id start with questioning before judgment. We share similar views. Why argue?
If people wish to classify
themselves in order to find a place within their own community, it's literally none of anyone's business, particularly anyone not a member of the community in question. It's known as staying in your own lane. An outsider's responsibility is simply to refer to an individual in the ways they are comfortable with and to try and understand without making assumptions. That's what real support for a community looks like.
The comment I questioned had nothing to do with the topic of discussion and nobody requested any input whatsoever on that topic so I don't see why it would be relevant that it's your opinion. Your post was fine without it, but offensive with it. Especially considering you casually dropped an ableist slur in there.
"Gay" is just one letter in the acronym, one identity within this community. All of the others matter and referring to all of us as "gay" is known as a form of erasure. Similarly to the way many people assume that all Trans people are transgender women, failing to acknowledge that Trans men exist. Trans people, for example, are not all gay and suggesting that they are by collectively referring to them as such is offensive. Some lesbians and bisexual people are okay with "gay", some are not. Some people are questioning (Q) which is important because they might not be comfortable identifying themselves as gay yet and representation matters. I'd love to know how you determined that 90% of people are okay with it because I've never encountered that despite being out for more than 20 years, identities and their associated identifiers within this community are extremely important and have great cultural significance.
I was not insulting or confrontational, I advised you to question your opinion because it's short-sighted. LGBTQ+ is the acronym that is in daily use in part because the full acronym is impractical, the "+" is designed to be inclusive of other minority gender and sexual identifiers even if they're not mentioned specifically. Plus, any attempt to be inclusive of
all minority gender and sexual identifiers would fall apart now that gender and sexuality are being examined in ways we couldn't have possibly imagined in Freud's time when some of these identifiers were created. In reality though, very few of the terms in the "full" acronym are particularly new. The acronym itself has been evolving for around 50 years.
Language evolves, as do civilisations, and when we're accustomed to knowing of things one way it's natural to be threatened by things we do not yet understand. But if you really wish to be supportive you need not be afraid, just open your mind and try not to resist change but instead accept it gracefully, listen to the lessons people who are really affected by these topics are trying to teach you. Trust that if you approach life in this way you will be happier for it and have a much greater understanding of the world and the many diverse people and communities within it. You cannot possibly do that when you cannot see through another person's eyes - it's like claiming to know what the surface of the moon feels like having never been there, disagreeing with someone who has.
