The concept of free will only exists as a subset of the greater reality.
Because "I" also exist as a subset I can imagine the small choices as being made by me when I look from my living viewpoint, this gives me enjoyment in life.
Sometimes when I look at existence from a psychadelically enhanced viewpoint I can see how my freewill really is just a warm feeling in the moment.
This week I met with a lot of long term old friends (covid fears are vanishing and we are moving away). Looking back at our experiences together, some of which were terrifying at the time, we all came to agreement that those most terrifying moments that we would have given the world to change at the time became the foundations of our lives. Today none of us would pass them up for a moment.
One couple, now in their 70's, lived through a family accident that altered the course of their lives. Their daughter nearly died and permanently lost all memory before it happened. She had to be potty trained as a teenager when she came out of her coma. Now she is a mother of 4 and an amazing woman who somehow restarted life at 14. The horrible years of near death bad news became a literal life time of miracles.
As parents they heard
"she's in a coma, we don't expect her to live without life support",
"She is off life support but we don't ever expect her to wake".
"She is awake but there appears to be minimal to no brain functions, she will be a vegetable, we're sorry"
"She is learning some motor functions but she will always need a support worker"
"The noises she is making now will never be proper speech"
"She is amazing but she will never function past an 8 year old"
"...12 year old..."
"... past adolescence..."
"Won't be able to take a job"
"Have a normal life"
"Get married, or ever physically have children".
Because today their professionally employed daughter is also the mother of 4 of their beautiful grandchildren when I ask, if they could live their life without the terrible day, would they?
The answer makes me wonder long and hard at freewill, in nearly everyone's life there is that event that either shakes us or builds us, I think the freewill part is how fast we appreciate it.
This is a drug board, every person here has a reason they came, most were looking for a tiny piece of hope because the dark days leave us pretty hopeless sometimes.
While a piece of me wants to believe my will has played a part in my lifes outcome, I think my will has played a part in accepting how beautiful this tiny view of existence has been and brought some peace to me so I could observe this life much much better.
I think I'm free to enjoy, experience and appreciate but the doing part I may just be watching.