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Snafuwocky

If this is all because of the utter stupidity in some of the more politicized threads, remember one thing… Just ignore them! I drop in occasionally to say my word but never go back to look at the responses that would obviously only serve to rile me up and take what would be a good day and turn it into a bad one.

-GC
 
I don't fucking know guys. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. I did not read any of these replies on purpose. Please don't be sad because it just makes me sad.

But need to stop fucking thinking about this. I don't even want the ABILITY to log into BL. I need help but the help I need is not on BL

Bad energy feeling an episode coming on and I'm all out of antipsychotics. I'm scared tbh. I can't afford a doctor.

I'll be on discord if anyone wants to talk

No it's not about ceps ive been thinking about this for 6 months. Ceps was just the... Reminder
 
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^Hey man your personality is good to go here. Interesting posts, kind to people who disagree, good experience with a lot of substances. (I still remember you posting taking 50 etizest tablets a day....wow) and funny to boot! Politics brings us all down I tend to stay away from the arguing. I go by the motto a wise man does not argue. And there is a lot of good here on Earth. Sometimes we tend to focus on the bad and let it get us. But at least we have focus.

But since we have you here I just wanted to say heavy drinking is not sustainable after 45. We can get away with it younger but it pickles the brain. The people over 55 I know that still drink heavily have issues and I think they are still alive becaiuse God dos not want them. lol Just wanted to say as you get older keep that in mind. Alcohol causes just too many physical and mental issues. It basically kills anything it touches which is one of its industrial uses.

Hard to post like that without sounding preachy. But I know you do it so I know you can take it back. Comes from a good place.

Just cut back drinking the next few days if not just stop and take some vitamins. You'll be ok. First things first. Baby steps to feeling better. I promise I will never bring that up again. I had been meaning to at least throw that out.
 
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Negentropic said:
I cause too many problems when I drink and honestly, in my gut, it just feels like the right thing to do right now.

My situation has not improved at all, it's getting worse. BL might have something to do with that. Not BL itself, but how I use it.
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Maybe just simply, in natural course, time for a little reinvention my friend?

I have done that so many times myself.

I feel we drift through eras of time, almost enacting personas, as we work with the at hand, learn, grow, release fears, mature, wake up in sense of being more plainly real with ourselves.

Sometimes, a particular persona can start off well, run into the wrong territory....or time!

And become this little seif destructive crash course.

I know this one lol.

But we are not lost. It takes IME LOOOTS of yrs to even begin to feel securely deceloped.

With respect snafu, always mate, no matter our very diff "politicals" haha, you are such a young man.

I am!

Maybe you put too much on your shoulders at times?

I have.

I lost myself a bit, since January, really October 2020, I recently hit such cataclysmic depression and sense of self worth, I wanted to erase all record of me.

I deleted manually a LOT of posts until it was after all just, tedious and long lol!

But. I accept myself currently. I have released. Grown up a lot.

In life we grow.

There are always choices. Time. More freedom, than we imagine, allow, realise I believe.

Maybe....take breaks from forum activity. Wind down if you can.

Don't think out things. Accept. Trust. Let TIME do it's incredible magic work.

I got desperate, in my 30's, pannicking, sense I needed to force things.

It was such a silly delusion and mistake looking back ever since it feels like there has been an infinity of life and opportunity since then and if the world will permit it for me there will be even more so ahead I feel very confident thanks to me never having given up and continually working unimaginably hard.

So @Negentropic I do care mate. I'm really not personally taking certain things too seriously now in life, which helps a lot.

And just in case you ever tackle any self esteem issues which I'm imagining maybe you do not because I see weaknesses in you but because we imagine these or at least perceive them ourselves in order to improve ourselves you have made nowhere near the level of buffoon of yourself I have done around this place and yet I can honestly say that I am not feeling any shame or embarrassment or regret although I have always remained open to feedback and others feelings and thoughts to learn from this experience to try and understand more about myself.
 
@O.S. Com'on back dude at least to let us know,you are going to try.
Maybe say hello and leave or change you name. 😭
Be well. ♡♡♡
 
hylite said:
@O.S. Com'on back dude at least to let us know,you are going to try.
Maybe say hello and leave or change you name. 😭
Be well. ♡♡♡
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Oh cmon, only weirdos actually change their username right! 😉

Haha just mucking. I do think hylite is perfect where light wasn't as.

Hope you are good. If we ran a BL contest for category- consistently purely light....


You win that hands down.

Me, I am actually an extraordinarily bright powerful source of light.

But ironically, and very sonsically to me though, I am also charged, passioned, seemingly enraged at our energy at large.

So I'm definitely not a pure light candidate myself.

I could enter some other poils though! Mmm...


Wldest belief systems, while strangely not presenting generally as incoherent, wittless, like...I should know better? 🤔 😀

And I reckon surely, the furthest up there.

But no pure light, no way. 🙂
 
hylite said:
@O.S. Com'on back dude at least to let us know,you are going to try.
Maybe say hello and leave or change you name. 😭
Be well. ♡♡♡
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I dont know. This was for THE OP @Negentropic.

I dont know why the autocorrect always toasts me. Now I just wrote to you twice.
 
I HOPE THAY YOU ARE ALRIGHT AND THAT YOU ARE STAYING WELL !!
 
Derschieber said:
Jabberwocky isn't a person? I'm confused...
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That's quite correct. Think of it as a sort of temporary "catch all" account. almost like a "Recycle Bin". Posts are "moved" to that account (not deleted). Probably a bad analogy i.e. once moved to the account they cannot be unmoved It's really only necessary because there is no way to delete your own account nor any way to bulk delete all of you own posts (threads started by you are not an issue as you can delete your own threads easily and all of you own posts in said threads are also deleted).

In just thinking about this while typing the above: what would happen if an account was simply deleted (same way as the spammer accounts are deleted). It that were an option then surely there's be no need for the Jabberwocky account no?
 
G_Chem said:
If this is all because of the utter stupidity in some of the more politicized threads, remember one thing… Just ignore them! I drop in occasionally to say my word but never go back to look at the responses that would obviously only serve to rile me up and take what would be a good day and turn it into a bad one.

-GC
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That's easier said than implemented. I suppose there's an alternative; just make sure to "unwatch" threads that you've been active on do you don't receive notifications (or simply turn off the automatic watching of threads that you've been active on).

But then I have to ask myself: if somebody isn't interested in reading responses then what's the point of posting really?

Depending on which discussions or arguments or debates you get into: a platform such as this can be every bit as toxic as any other social media (only difference is that you're not receiving "push notifications in real time' such as the likes of FB and Twitter (albet that notifications for either can be disabled) which is pretty much the same thing as ensuring that you're not watching any threads I guess).

Anyways. If the OP has deemed it necessary to put some distance between himself and the goings on here then why not i.e after over 12 000 posts and membership since early 2020 I can only assume that mentally there's a good reason. He'll not be the first and certainly not the last i.e. I know of more than a few who have dissappeared on the quiet and for good and valid reasons only to come back fighting.
 
dalpat077 said:
That's quite correct. Think of it as a sort of temporary "catch all" account. almost like a "Recycle Bin". Posts are "moved" to that account (not deleted). Probably a bad analogy i.e. once moved to the account they cannot be unmoved It's really only necessary because there is no way to delete your own account nor any way to bulk delete all of you own posts (threads started by you are not an issue as you can delete your own threads easily and all of you own posts in said threads are also deleted).

In just thinking about this while typing the above: what would happen if an account was simply deleted (same way as the spammer accounts are deleted). It that were an option then surely there's be no need for the Jabberwocky account no?
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Much too early for these questions
 
dalpat077 said:
That's easier said than implemented. I suppose there's an alternative; just make sure to "unwatch" threads that you've been active on do you don't receive notifications (or simply turn off the automatic watching of threads that you've been active on).

But then I have to ask myself: if somebody isn't interested in reading responses then what's the point of posting really?

Depending on which discussions or arguments or debates you get into: a platform such as this can be every bit as toxic as any other social media (only difference is that you're not receiving "push notifications in real time' such as the likes of FB and Twitter (albet that notifications for either can be disabled) which is pretty much the same thing as ensuring that you're not watching any threads I guess).

Anyways. If the OP has deemed it necessary to put some distance between himself and the goings on here then why not i.e after over 12 000 posts and membership since early 2020 I can only assume that mentally there's a good reason. He'll not be the first and certainly not the last i.e. I know of more than a few who have dissappeared on the quiet and for good and valid reasons only to come back fighting.
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It’s true it’s not easy but nothing worth doing is usually very easy. The alternative to me seems much worse, I’m a pretty happy dude and I’d like to keep it that way :)

I see zero issue with posting and not going back to look. It allows for alternative viewpoints when lately there seems to be a dominating narrative and I already know the responses to be said because they’re the same tired fearful words I’ve read time and again.

Your right a place like this can get every bit as toxic, hence why I do my best to not engage in it. I’m not perfect either and get frustrated now and then with what I see but then I remind myself I’m in control of my emotions and flip to something actually drug related to take up my time. I see a lot of folks making these topics to be the molehill they die on. Pick your battles people it’ll save a lot of energy and heart ache.

I agree though in the end you know you best @Negentropic whatever you gotta do man I’ll understand.

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
:)It’s true it’s not easy but nothing worth doing is usually very easy. The alternative to me seems much worse, I’m a pretty happy dude and I’d like to keep it that way :)

I see zero issue with posting and not going back to look. It allows for alternative viewpoints when lately there seems to be a dominating narrative and I already know the responses to be said because they’re the same tired fearful words I’ve read time and again.

Your right a place like this can get every bit as toxic, hence why I do my best to not engage in it. I’m not perfect either and get frustrated now and then with what I see but then I remind myself I’m in control of my emotions and flip to something actually drug related to take up my time. I see a lot of folks making these topics to be the molehill they die on. Pick your battles people it’ll save a lot of energy and heart ache.

I agree though in the end you know you best @Negentropic whatever you gotta do man I’ll understand.

-GC
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The voice of reason as usual! :)

Yeah. It’s a bit of a balancing act for me anyway. It’s the (my) only source of communication with others. Not to mention with foreigners and which has stood me in good stead since signing up here otherwise I am damn sure I would have gone off of my rocker whichspending 12 hours per day on my own ans staring @t the four walls. There is nobody in real life tha t could discuss mt usual and favorite topics with or have intellectual interactions withsuch as I do here. And, well, there’s been more than a few happy times and laughs along the way here. Some hare incredibly quick with their humor and sometimes it’s made my otherwise very shit days.

On the other hand I haveto keep reminding myself that this is not a political platform i.e. should be “horses for courses” and stick to the overall theme which is harm reduction and all things drug and pharmaceuticals related. Those topics are far easier to negotiate and without the pitfalls. Like I keep forgetting what brought me here in the first place and it wasn’t to have pissing contests about topics that have a passion for and that in real life ave the propensity to push me over the edge. You do really wanna see me having a political debate or discussion real life with people who know fuck all or simply don’t give a shit about the same things. It never ends well.

Su yeah. That’s my sad story really. And I cannot blame the forums for my getting uptight and upset for the reasons given above. There is also a part of me that would hate to leave some of my more dubious posts mainly on Dent. and the glorification of Cocaine and Crack usage. Not a legacy I’d like to leave. But I wouldn’t like to lose my political stuff nor the research that zi’ve done insofar as some pharmaceuticals hare concerned. And I’d like to think or believe that some of my HR posts hve been worth it and are of some value if not to current members but who knows who. Ones across the shit in the future. So I guess on balance no complaints and not sorry for being here in spite of spending way too much time of here and to my detriment in that I’ve neglected doing a lot of things and it’s caused major shit for me in real life. But I don’t have the self=discipline to limit my BL time nor schedule it for a certain time in a given day. AndI will admit that not being a user isn’t easy. Not when you see others having great times and that you used to have doing the same things decades ago. It I guess that part has kinda sorta helped me to understand that I’m not the same person anymore. Point being if I were somehow catapulted back some two decades and with money to burn and booze and Cocaine on tap or but a pbonecall away would I really still have a blast and enjoy it? I have my doubts if If’m veryhonest with myself. A lot of things have happened in that time.
 
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dalpat077 said:
The voice of reason as usual! :)
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What kind of a voice are you mr. dalpat?

The thing with posting regularly on BL is that you need to have just the right amount of not-caring. Especially when you're also regularly under the influence of psychoactives. It's taken me ages to perfect this particular skill, but when you do, it's just all good. Also, there are no real "problems" on BL specifically that people actually think twice on, it's all in the mind. This goes full circle with the right amount of not-caring.
A break can be good. Jabberwocky is kinda permanent though.
 
Buzz Lightbeer said:
What kind of a voice are you mr. dalpat?
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I had to think about that one so figured I’d just use the first words hat came to mind. Probably an “angry” and “frustrated” voice. And which I’m guessing comes through in my posts clearly but not on purpose and not as a direct result of my participation here either. Thanks to this pandemic and all the time I’ve had on my hands to take an interest in things I may not have bothered with before I do honestly believe I’ve become sort of enlightened and knowledgable about things outside of my comfort zone and previously cocooned existence. AndBL has been instrumental in that. Just feels like a waste right now should anything untoward happen.
 
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dalpat077 said:
I had to think about that one so figured I’d just use the first word that came to mind. Probably the “angry” and “frustrated” voice.
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Maybe... But you do balance it all out by dishing out (laughing) likes and posting laughing smileys, it's a quality strategy.
This doesn't address your comment in its entirety but I don't have the energy to really think you know. I did process the information 👍 but no more than that.
 
Buzz Lightbeer said:
The thing with posting regularly on BL is that you need to have just the right amount of not-caring
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Good points too. I remember getting way too emotionally invested in my first few HR posts but there were not that many and those posts and interactions are now gone long time ago as deleted by me. Found myself worrying nights about individuals that I didn’t know from a bar of soap and would never meet and that I’m all probability lived half way across the globe anyway and then concerned about input that I’d given having been new at this HR thing at the time.

Cannot say that I’ve become a nicer and more understanding and kinder and empathetic person for my trouble though although it comes and goes in stages. I think my t takeaway from all of this is that very seldom are issues binary in nature. And I no onger have the tunnel vision that I’ve always been prone to havig. Also feel as though I can see a bigger picture and envisage future possible outcomes of specific scenarios and chosen courses of action and with a degree of confidence which I’ve never really experienced before. Dunno where the fuck that came from all though happy to admit when I’ve been wrong and examine or try to gauge why i e. What did I miss or forget to Factor in or try to understand. And that you can only get from interaction with a diverse group of individuals. You ain’t gonna get it from rhe media which serems hell bent on polarisation of late.

And why am I posting this shit and baring my soul on a thread where SOMEBODY ELSE wants time out and a break :ROFLMAO: That’s what I’d like to know. This thread wasn’t supposed to be “about me” and isn’t or shouldn’t be. So I apologize.
 
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