Hey everyone,
This will likely be the last time I post here because I feel I've recovered enough and don't really need to be here anymore. I took the 230mg loading dose and 150mg booster of paliperidone long-lasting injection around the 10th of December 2020. A couple weeks after taking it was when I started to feel bad and starting reading up about it. I had akathisia in the first month and then anhedonia for the next 6 months that eventually made me suicidal for like 4 of those 6 months. None of the psychiatrists would take responsibility for it and told me the drug should of worn off after 1 month. I was furious, I knew I wasn't suicidal for no reason and the fact they denied the drug was still in my system was unbelievable. I still want to get revenge for the fucked cunt psychiatrist that prescribed me that poison but I digress. Around July 2021 (6 months after the loading doses) was when I began to not feel suicidal anymore but I still had a lot of anhedonia and my life wasn't great but I was happy I just wasn't suicidal anymore. Around 1-2 months in I also could not feel drugs anymore, like not illicit drugs but ANY drugs. From paracetamol to endone didn't matter they had no affect so there was no relief from the anhedonia. I was in and out of psychiatric wards because of the anhedonia and I remember the last time I was in there I was thinking I don't know how many more times I can go to the hospital to say I was suicidal and they had nothing to help and if anything just told me I was psychotic again, I really was contemplating properly ending it if things didn't get better. But after that last admission was when I started feeling better luckily.
After that it has taken another 6 months to feel what I would say comfortably is 90% better/to my old self. At this time I was still lying on the couch able to do not much but experience the restless, uncomfortable and the overall anhedonic feeling that consumed my life. I was counting on it getting better I would literally just make it day by day. Soon once I could concentrate a little bit again I would browse reddit and youtube literally all day, it was all I was capable of and being anhedonic I barely enjoyed it but forced my mind to do something productive. This drug also fucked with my back, I had to see a chiropractor and he said your posture is often affected when you experience mental illness so yes it would affect your back (however I had back problems before paliperidone). The drug also fucked up my sleep, I could not nap during the day even though I wanted to and I'd go to sleep at like 9pm because I just wanted time to go forward and slept like 13 hours. The 13 hour sleep would feel like I just blinked and there was no restfulness about it. However, after the 6 month mark my sleep began improving until I could nap during the day (which I began indulging in a lot) and actually began sleeping to much, so it swang around the other way. Also after maybe 8 months I started sweating in bed and would wake up drenched which means your body is cleaning the drug out of your system. The drug also ruined my appetite and I could never eat anything, some people it does the opposite.
In terms of treatments I used during my experience, I tried a lot of stuff and found not much difference in how I felt. I ended up on Zoloft 200mg, multivitamins and St. Johns Wort. Although I couldn't tell the difference, I just took them anyway. Also as soon as I could get up off the couch I would go for walks, the felt really good for some reason. It was like they would produce dopamine that would get past the paliperidone when nothing else would, and believe my I tried I was smoking weed through most of my experience hoping it would work and it never did. Otherwise this experience is like being tortured for 6-8 months straight so you just hang on to the next day and ride out the pain there isn't too much else you can do. But being here and having people to relate to was a great help, I remember reading recovery stories and hoping mine would come soon and was kind of jealous lol never thought my day would come when I would be comfortable enough to write this. To be honest I'd thought about writing something but only just now got around to it.
So now I'm almost at 12 months off from my last dose and I can now get about 50% high (weed) but other drugs are working again and I can get drunk. The anhedonia has like 90% gone and kind of just feels like I'm still mildly sedated now. My sleep is back to normal, however I still sweat a little bit in the night so I'd say the drug isn't completely gone yet. Just goes to show how long this drug can stay in your system, the psychiatrists don't know shit about the drug they're giving people. My appetite is pretty good I eat dinner and snacks but my lunch time appetite still isn't back. My concentration is fine, enjoying computer games again, music all that stuff. I also feel like my old self, like some people say it changes you or something but I disagree, I feel exactly how I did before I had paliperidone. My back is improved almost completely as well. Anyone have any questions feel free to reply and I'll answer them. I'll hang around for a few more days to do that.
So I hope that helps people get an indication of what it's like on this drug and approximate time frames they could expect to recover. Anyway, now I'm off to go bash the shit out my psychiatrist and then go home to smoke a joint and play BF 2042.
P.S I was not diagnosed with schizophrenia. I have a couple friends who have and say that they require AP's to stop their minds from wandering. So I'm not saying AP's are bad but paliperidone injectable (and really any slow release injectable) definitely is, avoid them at all costs. My friends take pills and said they had to switch around a bit to find one that they felt pretty good on. My advice is centred around paliperidone only.