Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
I’ve recently come off a month long meth binge while I was smoking at least 1 g of cleaned crystal every day while putting myself to bed every 48 hours with seroquel. With a few week or month long breaks along the way I’ve been doing this for about 18 months. My meth use was out of my ability to control it for more than a few weeks and was seriously damaging my ability to work. After trying myself to resolve this onngoing on again off again use pattern I had tried NA and willpower as well as burning all my contacts and changing my address and phone number. It never worked;
It did not occur to me that the government was my best option for help.
On day 4 after I quit the last time I was starting to become psychotic with anxiety and depression as well as having developed Parkinson’s like symptoms and being constantly weak and dizzy. An ex girlffriend of mine thought I was just having a mental health crisis (not involving drugs) so called the state Mental Health Hotline (a free 1-800 number). The person who answered (immediately) triajed me and I answered honestly about my meth use but advised that I had comorbid existing mental health problems - namely ADHD and Bipolar I. They asked me what drugs I had in the house and when I said I had prescribed benzos and seroquel they advised me to take them but to go immediately to the emergency room if I felt unsafe or a danger to myself or others. There was a whole bunch of questions to ascertain this and apparently I presented like a sane but totally strung out person having a very bad comedown.
The bottom line was if I came to the ER they’d just give me benzos and seroquel, so I might as well use my own supply in the comfort of my own home if I could handle being alone. I could.
However, they asked me if I wanted my case elevated to the 24/7 critical care team for long term management. This was because of the extensive duration of meth use and the comorbid psychiatric diagnosis. I said yes and several hours later I got a call from a fully qualified psychiatrist with 20 years drug and alcohol experience. When I told him I was very worried about the combination of meth with antipsychotics and was too afraid to take the seroquel or other prescribed drugs, he gave me a very basic but very helpful explanation of the dopamine receptor system and the effects of combining agonists and antagonists and why he’d believed I would be best served by abstaining from meth but staying on anti—psychotics for at least 7 weeks until the mid-term effects of meth abuse at my level had ceased.
This psychiatrist spoke to me for close to an hour on the phone and entertained every possible question I could come up with about what meth and the various other drugs I was taking was doing to my brain. In the end he recommended dosage changes (increases) to 2 scripted drugs I was taking and totally ceasing one other (a stimulant). We had a long discussion about the possible benefits of using my prescribed stimulant to wean off the meth. But in the end he convinced me that going cold turkey with meth was the better option and that I could possibly restart my prescribed stimulants after being abstinent from meth for at least 7 weeks. He also seriously questioned whether I had bipolar disorder and made some recommendations for getting a fresh diagnosis once the meth was out of my system (again 7 weeks according to him). He explained in detail why he thought I might be misdiagnosed.
Just talking to these two specialists lowered my anxiety and panic immensely and nearly removed the stress of coming down so hard.They were very careful to make sure I understood that I was in a position that thousands of AUstralians find themselves in and that there was no shame attached to my predicament. It was purely a medical issue.
After working out a medication regime using my existing meds for 7 weeks they also arranged for me to have 20 bulk-billed (i.e. free) sessions with a clinical psychologist in my area. This is 10 more than normally available under the government’s program but because I had been elevated to a critical case, they authorised the extra 10 on the spot. They even found me a psychologist with a no-gap policy that would not charge any extras. The argument was that I needed to learn my triggers for using and how to cope with them. They recommended a kind of therapy called DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy)
Most importantly to me they asked my permission before contacting my existing psychiatrist or GP. They recommended that it was best practice (and they had the contact details). But because of my professional standing with these practitioners, the fact that they are willing to prescribe me stims and benzos, and some insurance arrangements I asked that they not be informed. This was accepted and my file was ‘locked’ out of the medical records system, so that only this critical care team had access should I need future help. So full confidentiality.
I’m just writing this because, before this experience I never would have thought you could get such good care from the public health system with a major meth problem. If you are seriously fucked up like I was, give consideration to calling your local Mental Heath Hotline - it could lead you to a very helpful place or at least get you through a tough period.
Complain as much as you want about the government. This treatment was well worth my taxes. And a lot less judgy than what I would have expected going through my GP.
It did not occur to me that the government was my best option for help.
On day 4 after I quit the last time I was starting to become psychotic with anxiety and depression as well as having developed Parkinson’s like symptoms and being constantly weak and dizzy. An ex girlffriend of mine thought I was just having a mental health crisis (not involving drugs) so called the state Mental Health Hotline (a free 1-800 number). The person who answered (immediately) triajed me and I answered honestly about my meth use but advised that I had comorbid existing mental health problems - namely ADHD and Bipolar I. They asked me what drugs I had in the house and when I said I had prescribed benzos and seroquel they advised me to take them but to go immediately to the emergency room if I felt unsafe or a danger to myself or others. There was a whole bunch of questions to ascertain this and apparently I presented like a sane but totally strung out person having a very bad comedown.
The bottom line was if I came to the ER they’d just give me benzos and seroquel, so I might as well use my own supply in the comfort of my own home if I could handle being alone. I could.
However, they asked me if I wanted my case elevated to the 24/7 critical care team for long term management. This was because of the extensive duration of meth use and the comorbid psychiatric diagnosis. I said yes and several hours later I got a call from a fully qualified psychiatrist with 20 years drug and alcohol experience. When I told him I was very worried about the combination of meth with antipsychotics and was too afraid to take the seroquel or other prescribed drugs, he gave me a very basic but very helpful explanation of the dopamine receptor system and the effects of combining agonists and antagonists and why he’d believed I would be best served by abstaining from meth but staying on anti—psychotics for at least 7 weeks until the mid-term effects of meth abuse at my level had ceased.
This psychiatrist spoke to me for close to an hour on the phone and entertained every possible question I could come up with about what meth and the various other drugs I was taking was doing to my brain. In the end he recommended dosage changes (increases) to 2 scripted drugs I was taking and totally ceasing one other (a stimulant). We had a long discussion about the possible benefits of using my prescribed stimulant to wean off the meth. But in the end he convinced me that going cold turkey with meth was the better option and that I could possibly restart my prescribed stimulants after being abstinent from meth for at least 7 weeks. He also seriously questioned whether I had bipolar disorder and made some recommendations for getting a fresh diagnosis once the meth was out of my system (again 7 weeks according to him). He explained in detail why he thought I might be misdiagnosed.
Just talking to these two specialists lowered my anxiety and panic immensely and nearly removed the stress of coming down so hard.They were very careful to make sure I understood that I was in a position that thousands of AUstralians find themselves in and that there was no shame attached to my predicament. It was purely a medical issue.
After working out a medication regime using my existing meds for 7 weeks they also arranged for me to have 20 bulk-billed (i.e. free) sessions with a clinical psychologist in my area. This is 10 more than normally available under the government’s program but because I had been elevated to a critical case, they authorised the extra 10 on the spot. They even found me a psychologist with a no-gap policy that would not charge any extras. The argument was that I needed to learn my triggers for using and how to cope with them. They recommended a kind of therapy called DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy)
Most importantly to me they asked my permission before contacting my existing psychiatrist or GP. They recommended that it was best practice (and they had the contact details). But because of my professional standing with these practitioners, the fact that they are willing to prescribe me stims and benzos, and some insurance arrangements I asked that they not be informed. This was accepted and my file was ‘locked’ out of the medical records system, so that only this critical care team had access should I need future help. So full confidentiality.
I’m just writing this because, before this experience I never would have thought you could get such good care from the public health system with a major meth problem. If you are seriously fucked up like I was, give consideration to calling your local Mental Heath Hotline - it could lead you to a very helpful place or at least get you through a tough period.
Complain as much as you want about the government. This treatment was well worth my taxes. And a lot less judgy than what I would have expected going through my GP.
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To what do you attribute the not having interest in it anymore and no cravings?
