Lost What happens when you tell a doctor you are suicidal and havea drug issue?

[Mafioso]

Things we going so well for so long... but in my typicl fashion i self sabotage, overworked myself into isolation and then quit working out and spending time wiht family and friends. Just work as much as possible, even when i didn't need to... it was overmy own businesss I thought how could working too much be n issuee.

started out with just smoking lots of weed lone or with a few friends i have left in state. Usually just after really good days or bad days. Things got stressfull nd I started taking small amounts(.5mg on a weekend( of xanax. over the last 6 months it progressed to daily, and things with business ogt even more stressful so went up to 2-4mg/day. Last month things got worse, and went on a bender, now 10 mg spaced out over the daay oesn't black me out... although extremely forgetful and uncoordinatedwhen on high odoses like right now.


antwats. the thoughts been building more and more the past 2 weeks with some family stuff and have no real friends bcause i psuhed them all away.

Th first time I remember thinking baout suicidie was about 8--9 uears old, was in tears because i could pull the tiggger. Whatt worries me now is that money isn't an issue anymore but everythomg else is and I eel to be the cause of all of them, although i know that not true probably just most of them. The idea of partioning out my savings to my few loved ones left and peacefully ending it(i've well thoguht out exactly how and where, know itd work nased off my chemistry knowledge. crude, simple and painless. remove the burden from my family, kinda quit while i'm ahead. I know theh'll wish I hadn't in the momemnt but feel like in 2-3 uears they'll be at much greater peace if not sooner.

I'mm debating getting help but i'm not goigng on antidepressants and antipsychotics. and i'll probably actually go throguh with it if sent to a psyh ward. was able ot figiure it out in solitaryy confinement but chickened out last minute because i couldn't stnad the idea of my mom and sister crying but i think i'm just ausing them more pain. I think i'm the problem and have the solation,, but clearly i''m high and not thinking ratinoal other than i should probably try to geth elp. refuse to spend money on rehab,, maybe higher outpatient counselor'

i know it's the drugs but its been there before the rdrugs. maybe try NA or sober af or sometjing

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Can I ask how far you are willing to go to get your life where you want it to be? And can I ask your age? I think different advice applies to different people and age is a factor. Example: If you are 24 I might give you different advice then I would a 50 year old. Just 'cause their circumstances would be different. Things like income and housing situations can be very different for the different age groups.

So your main issue is you are taking 10 mgs of Xanax throughout the day right? What other meds do you take? Do you smoke and drink at all?

If ya feel like answering any of that I can probably give you some of my sage advice @Mafioso

 

[telepathetic]

You will be locked in a mental hospital, forced medications (you will not be discharged until you agree, or they may hold you down and inject you if you refuse), given shotty group therapy like going around the group saying your favorite cookie, and then discharged to the door (some states are better than others and might try to help wirh aftercare). They will either sustain any physical addictions and then refer you to a detox, or maybe do a really uncomfortable, fast, but medically safe detox themselves. I dont suggest it, unfortunately

Or they might just give you advice like they did me, like filling out do not resuscitate paperwork.

Your situation doesn't seem like one that you should commit suicide over. If i were you, I'd get over the anti-rehab thing and go to an inpatient detox at least, as a start.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

You will be locked in a mental hospital, forced medications (you will not be discharged until you agree, or they may hold you down and inject you if you refuse), given shotty group therapy like going around the group saying your favorite cookie, and then discharged to the door (some states are better than others and might try to help wirh aftercare). They will either sustain any physical addictions and then refer you to a detox, or maybe do a really uncomfortable, fast, but medically safe detox themselves. I dont suggest it, unfortunately

Or they might just give you advice like they did me, like filling out do not resuscitate paperwork.

Your situation doesn't seem like one that you should commit suicide over. If i were you, I'd get over the anti-rehab thing and go to an inpatient detox at least, as a start.

You pretty much just described what a 72 hour hold in a ward looks like. Not pleasant for sure. For some those experiences are a wake up call and they change their behavior ( me ) or for others they get PTSD from it and just get worse.

 

[telepathetic]

You pretty much just described what a 72 hour hold in a ward looks like. Not pleasant for sure. For some those experiences are a wake up call and they change their behavior ( me ) or for others they get PTSD from it and just get worse.

I've been held for 30 days, witb the doctor lying to a judge saying I was refusing food and medication when I hadn't even once.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

A little honesty here as I am obviously chatty. I have only had one forced 72 hour hold. 2 years ago I was taking pills ( buying other peoples scripts ) and I mixed some and took way too much and did some crazy shit. First time in my life I ever behaved that way ). The local ER transferred me to a larger hospital that had a psych ward. They didn't give me any meds at all except ibuprofen cause I had a bad headache. Luckily they didn't push any psych meds. It was actually just observation. Not treatment. Did the group, ate like a good little do bee ( I was hungry anyway ) pretended I was sleeping as if you don't sleep they hold it against you. After 72 hours they cut me loose with some zoloft.

I had heard about kratom but never taken any. On the way home from the ward I picked some up at a head shop. I got home and started taking it. I cut off all my connects, isolated myself and got my head right. I turned to and said fuck this life I have been living. I am better than this. That was 2 years ago and I haven't touched anything since. But I know not everyone is as lucky as I was.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I've been held for 30 days, witb the doctor lying to a judge saying I was refusing food and medication when I hadn't even once.

Yeah when I was their guest for 3 days they had all different levels of people . Some had been there before. Some it was their first time. Various reasons that got them there. The nurses were like hawks when it was meal time. I did notice some wouldn't eat and others are scarfing their tray up and looking for more. And you for sure have to take the meds. I got lucky. Real lucky. I count my lucky stars every day.

 

[telepathetic]

Yeah, it is possible to cheek them. Sometimes, we would trade meds

 

[Nurse Ratched]

@Mafioso I apologize for derailing your thread. Hope you pop back on in the near future.

 

[Broken_Soul]

Where in the world are you mate? Sorry to hear your feeling like this. I've attempted suicide a handful of times in different ways, somehow I've always been found or for example I hung myself n as I passed out the leather belt snapped. Its not worth it your family are the ones left in pain suffering. I know at the time it feels like your only option your only way out but in the cold light of day you'll realise this isn't the answer.

Reason I asked where in the world u live because here in the UK you can tell your Dr your suicidal and on drugs. In my case nothing got done. He gave me phone numbers to the crisis team. Drug workers and samaritans. Useless!!
I was on 100mg of diazepam a day a year or so back buying on the streets when I couldnt sustaine it. I told my Dr's n asked if they could wean me off dropping mgs every few days. They point blank refused knowing that benzo withdrawals can be deadly. Left me to cold turkey with nothing.
I've even been in hospital after taking a huge overdose and woke up (luckily) in intensive care. The mental health team did an assessment. I was begging for them to section me. Telling them that I hadn't finished the job n that's my soul aim to end my life.
I was discharged the next morning. Even after seeing the head of mental health n pleading to section me so I can get stable n sort my head out. But no they refused. Here there is so many people needing beds in mental health units and so little beds. So their policy is, if you are a drug user /drunk then your only suicidal bcoz the drink and or drugs. This is a cop out and discrimination imo. My argument to that was I use the drugs becoz I'm depressed & anxious not the drugs causing depression anxiety. I'm diagnosed with ptsd and borderline personality disorder. They will tell me next they are from my drug use too. Nothing to do with my disfunctional hard childhood.
I do hope you can get the help you need mate. If your in the UK and wanting to get sectioned then I'd strongly advise you to tell them your not a drug user bcoz it will go against you. If your in the USA it seems like its so much easier .
Just try and remember nothing is worth ending your life over. It will. Destroy your family and once you've done the deed there's no changing your mind bcoz you think you've made a mistake. Life's precious and can be taken away in the blink of an eye.

I hope you get the help you need mate and please don't make a permanent decision on a temporary mind set.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Where in the world are you mate? Sorry to hear your feeling like this. I've attempted suicide a handful of times in different ways, somehow I've always been found or for example I hung myself n as I passed out the leather belt snapped. Its not worth it your family are the ones left in pain suffering. I know at the time it feels like your only option your only way out but in the cold light of day you'll realise this isn't the answer.

Reason I asked where in the world u live because here in the UK you can tell your Dr your suicidal and on drugs. In my case nothing got done. He gave me phone numbers to the crisis team. Drug workers and samaritans. Useless!!
I was on 100mg of diazepam a day a year or so back buying on the streets when I couldnt sustaine it. I told my Dr's n asked if they could wean me off dropping mgs every few days. They point blank refused knowing that benzo withdrawals can be deadly. Left me to cold turkey with nothing.
I've even been in hospital after taking a huge overdose and woke up (luckily) in intensive care. The mental health team did an assessment. I was begging for them to section me. Telling them that I hadn't finished the job n that's my soul aim to end my life.
I was discharged the next morning. Even after seeing the head of mental health n pleading to section me so I can get stable n sort my head out. But no they refused. Here there is so many people needing beds in mental health units and so little beds. So their policy is, if you are a drug user /drunk then your only suicidal bcoz the drink and or drugs. This is a cop out and discrimination imo. My argument to that was I use the drugs becoz I'm depressed & anxious not the drugs causing depression anxiety. I'm diagnosed with ptsd and borderline personality disorder. They will tell me next they are from my drug use too. Nothing to do with my disfunctional hard childhood.
I do hope you can get the help you need mate. If your in the UK and wanting to get sectioned then I'd strongly advise you to tell them your not a drug user bcoz it will go against you. If your in the USA it seems like its so much easier .
Just try and remember nothing is worth ending your life over. It will. Destroy your family and once you've done the deed there's no changing your mind bcoz you think you've made a mistake. Life's precious and can be taken away in the blink of an eye.

I hope you get the help you need mate and please don't make a permanent decision on a temporary mind set.

You have really been through the ringer, haven't you? Sorry you have had such a hard time getting MH services over there. Yeah the US has a pretty lousy MH ststem too, but any emergency room will get you to the right place if you get there and tell them you want to harm yourself or others. That will get you 72 hours and then they go from there. One girl I talked to had been there for 4 months ( that was the longest ) most range from 72 hrs to a week. At least its a start to get you where you need to be. And yes....they blame the drug use on all of our ailments too.

 

[telepathetic]

Pretty sure here in the USA at least at the point of showing up at the hospital after a seizure, they would be required to prescribe a taper, but not sure.

 

[✿Dai₷y✿]

@Mafioso, There could be alternatives available to being g locked away and on meds you are saying you will refuse but i don't know what Insurance you have or what facilities are near you to say. The one I went to was pretty awesome, food was great, privacy with no family bothering you, its not so bad ..

Have you spoken to a suicide support/prevention counsellor or drug counsellor? Look online for what's around, it might not be as bad as you expect especially if you are a voluntary patient that's seen a general .practitioner.

As for your family worrying or other worries, look after yourself first so they don't have to stress, its no big deal getting help .

Youll be fine, these thoughts happen with chemical imbalances. You might just need detox then outpatient.

 

[Broken_Soul]

You have really been through the ringer, haven't you? Sorry you have had such a hard time getting MH services over there. Yeah the US has a pretty lousy MH ststem too, but any emergency room will get you to the right place if you get there and tell them you want to harm yourself or others. That will get you 72 hours and then they go from there. One girl I talked to had been there for 4 months ( that was the longest ) most range from 72 hrs to a week. At least its a start to get you where you need to be. And yes....they blame the drug use on all of our ailments too.

Hey pumpkin. Yeah I've had some shit injuries and illnesses. My heart is fuckd double bypass seven heart attacks. Heart disease and angina.. Scoliosis and hips out of line twisted. Ptsd and borderline personality disorder. Yeah when you see it written down like above pfft yean your right.
I can only put it down to being juged on my looks and they meet me I'm covered in ink 2 sleeves. Chest n stomach. Black hands fingers side of head n small cross under my eye and I'm. 5ft 8 and well built and the take one look and think iam. A thug which istt true iam far from a thug. I don't steal beg or borrow. My place is always tidy as isy apperence. But Ive never had the help I need mentally whether it be from my Dr's been at 3 different surgeryd I last 5 year nor do the. Mental heath team or hospital. Although my cardiac care has and it great.

Because its all happened over years it don't seem too bad but reading it written down like that makes me realise. I've beat alot and overcome some huge obsicles. My brother always says I inspire him because no problem the illness the surgery I will always try to remain positive. To be honest mate I have to be. At 35 last year to be told I'll be lucky to see another ten years with my heart problems was a real real head fuck I want to see my daughter grown up get married gave kids and all the rest. In order to do that I have to remain positive I have no choice or il dwell onit and crumble and not be able to come back from tha3. So I dont over think or look too far ahead. Heart disease is the biggest killer in the UK more than cancer and aids put together if I remember rightly.. That coupled with all my heart attacks and angina. Its not great its far from it. So now every day that I wake up I'm blessed I'm still here im Still capable of doing every thing I could before bad health so I try n be positive and happy even on my worst days...

Another day another blessing

 

[n3ophy7e]

Things we going so well for so long... but in my typicl fashion i self sabotage, overworked myself into isolation and then quit working out and spending time wiht family and friends. Just work as much as possible, even when i didn't need to... it was overmy own businesss I thought how could working too much be n issuee.

started out with just smoking lots of weed lone or with a few friends i have left in state. Usually just after really good days or bad days. Things got stressfull nd I started taking small amounts(.5mg on a weekend( of xanax. over the last 6 months it progressed to daily, and things with business ogt even more stressful so went up to 2-4mg/day. Last month things got worse, and went on a bender, now 10 mg spaced out over the daay oesn't black me out... although extremely forgetful and uncoordinatedwhen on high odoses like right now.


antwats. the thoughts been building more and more the past 2 weeks with some family stuff and have no real friends bcause i psuhed them all away.

Th first time I remember thinking baout suicidie was about 8--9 uears old, was in tears because i could pull the tiggger. Whatt worries me now is that money isn't an issue anymore but everythomg else is and I eel to be the cause of all of them, although i know that not true probably just most of them. The idea of partioning out my savings to my few loved ones left and peacefully ending it(i've well thoguht out exactly how and where, know itd work nased off my chemistry knowledge. crude, simple and painless. remove the burden from my family, kinda quit while i'm ahead. I know theh'll wish I hadn't in the momemnt but feel like in 2-3 uears they'll be at much greater peace if not sooner.

I'mm debating getting help but i'm not goigng on antidepressants and antipsychotics. and i'll probably actually go throguh with it if sent to a psyh ward. was able ot figiure it out in solitaryy confinement but chickened out last minute because i couldn't stnad the idea of my mom and sister crying but i think i'm just ausing them more pain. I think i'm the problem and have the solation,, but clearly i''m high and not thinking ratinoal other than i should probably try to geth elp. refuse to spend money on rehab,, maybe higher outpatient counselor'

i know it's the drugs but its been there before the rdrugs. maybe try NA or sober af or sometjing

Honestly man, it depends on a) your country's policies and procedures for dealing with patients presenting with suicidal ideation, b) the thoughts/mood/opinions of the individual doctor you see, and c) how you word it to the doctor. I've presented to my doctor with suicidal ideation before, and they referred me to a psychiatrist. I've also presented to hospital, suicidal, whilst heavily under the influence of drugs and alcohol, several times, and been sectioned to the psych ward, because I didn't have the mental capacity to word it properly to get out of it.

But anyway, I digress. Mafioso, you need help, and it sounds like you want to seek help. I would recommend starting with your doctor.
Let us know how you're doing, yeah?

 

[paranoid android]

You pretty much just described what a 72 hour hold in a ward looks like. Not pleasant for sure. For some those experiences are a wake up call and they change their behavior ( me ) or for others they get PTSD from it and just get worse.

I was locked in the psych ward for 6 fucking months and i got major PTSD from it. I get nightmares and flashbacks and have to take zopiclone to sleep now. I was thrown in solitary confinment atleast 6 times as well. I was made to go cold turkey from 150mg's of morphine and 6mg's of clonazepam at once which was fucking torture. I was also taken off my fucking seroquel if you can believe that shit. The shrink i had also refused to give me a antipsychotic for some reason and it was not until i was given a new shrink that they put me on invega and my psychosis finally stopped. It feels like i was literally being tortured in there.

I would say avoid the psych ward like the goddamn plague nothing good can come of that. By all means talk to your doctor and seek help but becarful how you word things.

 

[✿Dai₷y✿]

^ Did you end up there as an involuntary patient or did you go seeking help?

 

[paranoid android]

^ Did you end up there as an involuntary patient or did you go seeking help?

As a voluntary patient the first time and was released only to end up involuntary 3 weeks later.

 

[✿Dai₷y✿]

^ Sorry to hear this mate.

I was close to being taken by force and I probably should have been at one point, had a nasty experience in Brisbane, there are some wankers who should not be nurses but I guess they see many turn up at the er having attempted suicide.

I would have hated being put somewhere involuntarily.


Hopefully people who realise they are better off getting help do so and dont have horrible experiences or can turn to family and friends.

 

[paranoid android]

^ Sorry to hear this mate.

I was close to being taken by force and I probably should have been at one point, had a nasty experience in Brisbane, there are some wankers who should not be nurses but I guess they see many turn up at the er having attempted suicide.

I would have hated being put somewhere involuntarily.


Hopefully people who realise they are better off getting help do so and dont have horrible experiences or can turn to family and friends.

Yeah it was a fucked up experience for sure. There is nothing worse then being locked up against your will. Especially while coming off benzos and opiates and not even getting so much as some fucking loperamide or ibuprofen for it. The nurses i saw had no right to be nurses they acted more like prison guards.

All the same i would suggest people get help early on so maybe the psych ward can be avoided. Had i had a shrink before i went in there i could have just been given medication instead of being locked up and i could have been saved a fuck ton of trouble.