• N&PD Moderators: Skorpio | someguyontheinternet

Opioids - on for life, or not

I'll reply with a question: have you looked at iboga? I never experimented it myself, but I heard so many transformative stories, maybe it's worth a look?

I have considered it. Psychedelics are definitely an important part of my mental health. I haven't read up on it since I first started heroin, 10 years ago, so I should see what's changed
 
Iboga did save my life, I came out of a 10 year addiction after a flood dose with no cravings and filled with the desire to better myself and work out... the 2 years immediately following that were the best of my life so far, I have never felt so healthy. I thought I'd never struggle with opiates again, for 5 years I didn't ever think about them, I felt like I was reprogrammed. Sadly life got really hard when I had a very long divorce process turn nasty, and then my dad got sick and suffered terribly for years and died, and I got a DUI from a night I was enraged and blacked out, and had a lot of fallout from that, and it all happened at once. I slipped one time, there was morphine in the trash and I grabbed it without hardly even thinking and took it. Then the brain bug was back and I slowly descended into daily addiction again and have been in and out of it for a couple of years now.

After iboga I made a lot of positive changes ion my life and turned it around. To this day my life is much different than it was and even in the midst of daily opiate addiction, I still love my life and have hope, unlike before. And it's never gotten as bad, because I have other things in my life to fill the void.

Iboga seems to have worked as well as it really possibly could for me, it doesn't seem to work as well for some people, but it's been by far the most subconsciously reprogramming/behavior-altering experience of my life. I still view my life as pre-iboga and post-iboga, that's how much of an impact it had on me.
 
I still view my life as pre-iboga and post-iboga, that's how much of an impact it had on me.

Are you going to go for iboga again? Or is it a balance of life thing, opioids up to a point are OK, they are only a problem when they become out of balance with the rest of life?
 
Are you going to go for iboga again? Or is it a balance of life thing, opioids up to a point are OK, they are only a problem when they become out of balance with the rest of life?

No I'm not going to. For one thing, when I did it before, I was about ready to give up on life, I had no belief in my ability to stay away, I was so depressed I wished to get hit by a bus or otherwise die without doing it myself, while at the same time fantasizing about doing it myself. My self esteem was rock bottom, I hated who I was. It really was rock bottom. Now I know I have the ability to be what I want to be. I'm not depressed, I like who I am. I'm just struggling to get out of a difficult period. I don't need iboga.

Also, two of my friends, including my iboga mentor (both BLers) relapsed after having similarly life-altering flood doses as me, and then took iboga again, and they both said they had really dark, depressing experiences, and they both later killed themselves after a similar amount of time. Their circumstances were such that they still didn't like themselves. Even so, both of them said similar words to me, amounting to "don't take an iboga flood dose twice for addiction, it doesn't like that, I can't shake that experience, it was bad". So that's a factor as well.

Opioids are fine for some people, and if the case of chronic pain, they may in fact be the one way a person could be able to handle life. I used to say that I would refuse opioids if I had chronic pain, but if my life became suffering because of intractable pain, I would certainly go on opioids, and a part of me would be like oh man, this is great, I wanted this anyway. But I would feel it was justifiable. As it stands, I am not in chronic pain, and my life is better without opioids. if I could take them from time to time for fun and not sink back into the cycle, I'd do that, because I really enjoy them. But every single time I've tried that it's gotten bad again pretty quick, so it's not an option for me.
 
Iboga did save my life, I came out of a 10 year addiction after a flood dose with no cravings and filled with the desire to better myself and work out... the 2 years immediately following that were the best of my life so far, I have never felt so healthy. I thought I'd never struggle with opiates again, for 5 years I didn't ever think about them, I felt like I was reprogrammed. Sadly life got really hard when I had a very long divorce process turn nasty, and then my dad got sick and suffered terribly for years and died, and I got a DUI from a night I was enraged and blacked out, and had a lot of fallout from that, and it all happened at once. I slipped one time, there was morphine in the trash and I grabbed it without hardly even thinking and took it. Then the brain bug was back and I slowly descended into daily addiction again and have been in and out of it for a couple of years now.

After iboga I made a lot of positive changes ion my life and turned it around. To this day my life is much different than it was and even in the midst of daily opiate addiction, I still love my life and have hope, unlike before. And it's never gotten as bad, because I have other things in my life to fill the void.

Iboga seems to have worked as well as it really possibly could for me, it doesn't seem to work as well for some people, but it's been by far the most subconsciously reprogramming/behavior-altering experience of my life. I still view my life as pre-iboga and post-iboga, that's how much of an impact it had on me.
very similar story except what got me again was a fire/burns. currently crawling out of that hole. Will take iboga again for PTSD. Last time i ate it it instructed me in no uncertain terms that i was not to take it again for opioids, and had to do this one on my own. Down to 6g kratom and >5mg oc daily. Jumping off the OC tomorrow. Wish me luck.
 
It can be done but it always there clean life at first is boring and paws is not nice but it lifted after about three months.Iwas over a year clean and relapsed but kept it to pods .Im clean again but i got clean after just being sick of how on opium you neither awake or aslep you just go through life like that .If you want to stay on methadone nothing wrong in that .
 
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