Need Help 300mg methadone to zero

[Skippwiggins]

I was on methadone for 2.5 years. 4.5 years on suboxone prior. 100mg methadone for 3 months only held me for 8 hours. 200mg for 3 months only held me 12 hours. Eventually ended up on 300mg this held me. Id wake up yawning but that was it. 300mg for around 2 years. Did many peak and trough tests.. ekg etc. Only other user ive seen this high is dextermeth fellow BLer at 285mg. had clean urines the entire time. Only went to the clinic a couple times a month. Did way more counseling than necessary. I had 2.5 hours every Monday and was very very close to my female counselor.

I had a huge IV fentanyl habit thus the high methadone dose. IVing 30-50mg of pure MAF PMAF and BUFF from RC suppliers in China. Years of suboxone before that and H before that.

I worked the 12 steps, attending 5-7 meetings a week for two years, saw my sponsor weekly. 10 hours therapy a month.. Hit the gym 7 days a week, did my round with steroids mostly trt. The gym was a part of my life for the past 13 years. Worked 10 hours a day 6 days a week. I was more stable and functional on this methadone dose than ive ever been. Healed more than I ever have.

I tapered from 300mg methadone to 138mg in 4 months with very mild withdrawal. Switched instantly no wait to 2mg suboxone slowly titrated to 24mg. Experimental trial with new doctor. Spent 1 month on suboxone. Was withdrawling the entire time.. Relapsed hard on RC stims for 3 days I don't know why. Was sick of being sick for a month I guess. Moved across country to be with wife and kids and cold turkeyd the subs. Spent 2 weeks taking 8mg of clonazepam a day as well as 600mg gabapentin. Knocked myself out through the whole thing. I know this wasn't wise. Well a couple week sober after and could not take it.

Ive spent the past 5 months off methadone taking kratom on and off. On one week off etc back and forth. Now im 24 days off kratom and steroids and still so achey, depressed, anxious, restless legs, can't sleep well etc. Ive been 100% sober besides valerian and melatonin. Ive read on reddit people taking 6 weeks for kratom WD depression and anxiety to leave, this could be methadone PAWS, or steroid side effects.

This has destroyed the relationship with my new wife. Someone whom ive never been more in love with in my life and ive been in love many times. We are one in every sense of the word. 3 kids to raise.

Ivs been going to the gym several days a week, hit meetings, stay busy with kids.

Back on TRT and its helped a little bit with depression and focus. Still its not tren and mast which ive been used to.

Broke down today and called sub doctor. I see him in 32 hours. I dont know if I should ride this out or get back on maintenence. Im so conflicted. Im just sick of feeling how I do physically and mentally. Fight through paws for awhile or get on sub?

Gave up my hometown, career, maintenance, sponsor, family, etc to move in with my wife. No drugs except done in 30months to relapsing on stims, benzos. Im so lost and have 32 hours to decide.. and I know it will break my wife's heart if I get back on maintenence.

For reference ive been off methadone for six months. On zero meds. Relapse not an issue since wife is here, and even if she wasn't most id do is pop a benzo. Its maint or nothing won't use opiates.

 

[Skippwiggins]

Mods if there's a better section or can cross post let me know.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

I would fight that shit man. You came too far and did too much just to give up now.

Its going to take time. But 6 months 0 opiates and 0 kratom (dont take that stuff) and you will be like a new person. You are taking nothing else and exercising so it may be faster. Even at 60 days off you will be feeling much much better.

Putting more sub in you just going to add to your dependence and you will have to do it all over again. There is no such myth as tapering down without pain. You did most of the pain already.

I don't know anything about steroids, but I don't see how those could help right now. When you come off opiates I know your hormones already are surging.

Also yeah, stopping methadone and eating tons of benzos and gaba not going to end well. You can maybe take the occasional benzo (like 1mg max) once a week max, but better to stay away. 8mg a day is crazy. Glad you didn't keep that up.

The one problem I see here only is if you are craving so hard you one day go for some fent and OD and die. Happens literally daily with people kicking methadone. If that day comes, then take some benzos I guess. Be very careful (I'm sure you know, but the amount your tolerance drops is insane and the tiniest amount can OD you since its almost like your body is looking for it). But if you do think relapse is inevitable, then go on the subs. Not worth it to die either.

 

[PhuckEverything]

Brother, you are so close now, please don't give in. Unless you are going to hurt yourself or someone lese, don't' do it. I was on subs/methadone/heroin for 7 years straight. It took 3 months to feel normal again and about 6 months to sleep through the night. You have done obvious damage to your central nervous system and brain functions but the good news is it's likely not permanent. You'll need a year before you can get high on life again. You've been sapping all your bodies serotonin and dopamine for years. Time to pay the piper and it sucks.

What about grabbing some Kratom/Mitraganyne extract?

I'm not sure I understand why you're coming off TRT at the same time as you're doing this. You're asking for trouble IMO. Your doc approved this?

 

[Jabberwocky]

I was on methadone for 2.5 years. 4.5 years on suboxone prior. 100mg methadone for 3 months only held me for 8 hours. 200mg for 3 months only held me 12 hours. Eventually ended up on 300mg this held me. Id wake up yawning but that was it. 300mg for around 2 years. Did many peak and trough tests.. ekg etc. Only other user ive seen this high is dextermeth fellow BLer at 285mg. had clean urines the entire time. Only went to the clinic a couple times a month. Did way more counseling than necessary. I had 2.5 hours every Monday and was very very close to my female counselor.

I had a huge IV fentnayl habit thus the high methadone dose. IVing 30-50mg of pure MAF PMAF and BUFF from RC suppliers in China.

I worked the 12 steps, attending 5-7 meetings a week for two years, saw my sponsor weekly. 10 hours therapy a month.. Hit the gym 7 days a week, did my round with steroids mostly trt. The gym was a part of my life for the past 13 years. Worked 10 hours a day 6 days a week. I was more stable and functional on this methadone dose than ive ever been. Healed more than I ever have.

I tapered from 300mg methadone to 138mg in 4 months with very mild withdrawal. Switched instantly no wait to 2mg suboxone slowly titrated to 24mg. Experimental trial with new doctor.. experienced predicated withdrawal twixe a day everyday for 2 weeks. I knew this would happen we both did. Had to take a lot lot of comfort meds to be OK. Spent 1 month on suboxone. Relapsed hard on RC stims for 3 days I don't know why. Was sick of being sick for a month I guess. Moved across country cold turkeyd the subs. Spent 2 weeks taking 8mg of clonazepam a day as well as 600mg gabapentin. Knocked myself out through the whole thing. I know this wasn't wise. Well a week sober and could not take it.

Ive spent the past 5 months off methadone taking kratom on and off. On one week off etc back and forth. Now im 24 days off kratom and steroids and still so achey, depressed, anxious, restless legs, can't sleep well etc. Ive been 100% sober besides valerian and melatonin. Ive read on reddit people taking 6 weeks for kratom WD depression and anxiety to leave, this could be methadone PAWS, or steroid side effects.

This has destroyed the relationship with my new wife. Someone whom ive never been more in love with in my life and ive been in love many times. We are one in every sense of the word. Were both very spiritual its our lives. Since coming off methadone ive lost most interest in it. Lost interest in everything even recovery. Im surprised wife is still with me. 3 kids to raise.

Broke down today and called sub doctor. I see him in 32 hours. I dont know if I should ride this out or get back on subs. Ive felt like shit on and off for 5 months. And really really felt like shit for the past 24 days. Im so conflicted. I want to be sober otherwise I would have stayed on 300mg methadone.

I go to the gym several days a week, hit meetings, etc but just feel so shitty all the time with a couple hours of feeling OK a day.

Back on TRT and its helped a little bit with depression and focus.

Fight hrough PAWS for another month or 6 or just get on 2mg of suboxone for awhile? I hate to spend anymore life on opioids but cravings physical Pain and mental issues is horrid. I just dont know how much longer I can take. I want to stay sober and wife wants it more than anything but this has been torture. Ive never been one to feel depressed or anxious or in pain. Im only 27.

No insurance cant afford or have access to any medical help here where I moved. The sub doc is cheap though. Gave up my hometown, career, maintenance, sponsor, family, etc to move in with my wife. No drugs except done in 30months to relapsing on stims, benzos, alcohol etc. All this coupled with detox has been a Rollercoaster.. Im so fucking lost and have 32 hours to decide.. and feel it will break my wife's heart if I get back on but being so disconnected from her while feeling like this breaks her heart too.

looking good bro, dont matter if u need to get on meds again, as long as they keep you from relapsing, i wouldnt take that risk if i were in your position, just take some meds till u feel safe again, its no big deal

 

[Skippwiggins]

The TRT was a cost factor but not anymore. After years on PEDs ill probably be on trt for life.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

looking good bro, dont matter if u need to get on meds again, as long as they keep you from relapsing, i wouldnt take that risk if i were in your position, just take some meds till u feel safe again, its no big deal

This is a bad way of thinking. Taking any opiate is a relapse. Just because a doctor gives it to you doesn't change the fact you just took an addictive opiod. Don't suck others down into those thoughts.

Take some meds until you feel safe again? Then what? Magically cured after he is safe? He will be right back into the maintenance shit hole. Worst place to be if you want sobriety.

This guy already withdrawaled and did all that work. I would stay the course and get through it. Anyone that is clean has to go through it and promise it doesn't last forever.

Its actually shocking the kratom is doing anything for you after that habit. You must have good opiate receptors.

 

[Jabberwocky]

This is a bad way of thinking. Taking any opiate is a relapse. Just because a doctor gives it to you doesn't change the fact you just took an addictive opiod. Don't suck others down into those thoughts.

Take some meds until you feel safe again? Then what? Magically cured after he is safe? He will be right back into the maintenance shit hole. Worst place to be if you want sobriety.

This guy already withdrawaled and did all that work. I would stay the course and get through it. Anyone that is clean has to go through it and promise it doesn't last forever.

Its actually shocking the kratom is doing anything for you after that habit. You must have good opiate receptors.

the worst place to be if u want sobriety is using
if he's feeling like shit there's always a chance of relapsing why would he risk that if he's come this far in his recovery?
that's just as if i told you that u're trying to put him through pain
i'd take meds any day over fucking fentanyl
plus if he managed to get off fent, a little pill will be nothing for him, he prolly dont even feel them
but yeah if he has the power to stay completely sober, it would be the best way to go.... i suggested meds because he said he wasnt feeling well but of course it would be better if he avoided any opiates and benzos, but not everyone can manage that safely

 

[Jabberwocky]

OP, while reading your drug history and where youre at now I can just say - well done sir. I can't imagine how hard this all has been and I am sure it still is. If nothing below 300mg methadone could hold you at one poin than it means you had a big battle. The one that you were outsider in the beginning and are close to victory now. I must congratulate you for the battle you are putting.

Now, after all this years off most potent opioid (fent) and most dreadful to come off (methadone) coupled with steroid use, it is normal that you are all over the place. What you have pulled off is not a regular thing. Taking over 200mg methadone would make almost anybody feel like they will stay on it for life...and most would. It sounds that you battled it hard and you are doing a great job.

Nobody can tell you what to do. We can all give advice from ours perspective but ultimately even with best intentions we can not know what is best for you.

Please do one thing. Little thought exercise. First see yourself in time when you were fent user. Than see your life on 300mg methadone. All the restrictions, health issus that were pending if you were to continue like that. Now compare yourself as you are today to those two periods. No matter what you decide you are really improving by a great margine. Don't forget that. It's easy to forget all good things that we did when we are down.

Now my "advice". I believe that you should try to treat the depression with whatever is necessary, except opioids. I say that because you came so far and you have wrote that your wife would be disappointed. After all this, do you really want to go through another cycle of withdrawal from strong opioid? Buprenorphine is strong and withdrawal isn't a picnic. I don't know where do you live, but maybe you could get some stimulant medications for ADHD prescribed or some antidepressant that would help? Buy yourself some time. Because after a week of buprenorphine you will be back depending on strong opioid. Maybe some combination of non opioid medication could help you get through this period.

Please don't quit fighting now. Its normal that you are still feeling bad from all the opioids you took. But if you have to, choose legal opioid. I hope you find your way out from this depressed state. You should feel proud.

 

[Skippwiggins]

I appreciate all of your advice. Pyscho your post hit me deep. Its hard to compare life now to methadone. On methadone I had a great job, nice car, great body, spiritually fit in every sense body mind and soul. I had motivation and passion for life. I could make money for my family. I could be loving and attentive and spend as much times as I was able with them. I had purpose in life. I felt recovered. My dose was free and only had to go to the clinic twice a month. I had countless magical experiences on methadone feeling intense emotion and spiritual bliss.. when people say that cant feel on methadone I cant relate.

Is life really better off opioids?

Am I doing this for me or my wife? I didn't feel I was ready to get off maintenence when I did but rather did it so I could be with my wife whom I'd been seeing long distance for 1.5 years. Still dont feel ready but already here so I dont know. I just wanna be able to function.

 

[Skippwiggins]

Appointment was in 2 hours. Brought it up to wife she freaked out.

So here i am stuck. Just keep going through the motions I guess.

 

[RedRum OG]

Addiction is some life long shit. Unfortunately your wife will need to accept this if she can accept you. Recovery, unfortunately, has to come before everything else, or you will lose everything else. If you have to ditch your kids birthday party, or a special date night to go to a meeting or the gym, that's what you do, because it's better than staying there, relapsing later, and dying, or going to prison.

It's a fat, shitty pill to swallow for everyone involved, but that's the way she goes. It may upset her for you to get back on bupe, but if thats what recovery costs, that's what it costs. You should get your wife some al-anon style literature

I have also been on methadone for many years. Tapered 120mg to 20mg, now I cant seem to drop that last little bit. Not pleasant for me, or my girlfriend. Just the way she goes.

 

[xelence]

I think working with a doctor on this is the most advisable option. I get other people suggesting to “just go for it” and cold turkey, and maybe that’s *possible* but I don’t think it’s wise. It sounds like you were doing the best when you had all that shit dialed in: meetings, counselor, a specific MD dosage, the TRT, the gym, your work, etc. You sound like a go-getter and I think there’s nothing wrong with being on some meds long term. I also think that you’ll eventually want to be off. I have had wild relapse stints like that too. Clean for a while, all of a sudden shooting meth in the back of my car. I never even really liked meth. Wtaf was that all about? I agree with an above commenter that the danger in this current approach is that there are too many unsteady variables and it could lead to a sudden relapse on a life-ending dose/drug. I think it’s cool that you’re reaching out and looking for help. I think your chances are better than most. Fuck kratom. Been there, done that. I know the appeal but it fucks with memory, isn’t controlled like real meds, and only kind of helps. I might use it to help get off subs for a day or two when the WDs are the worst but I know how easily that turns into more frequent usage which is why I say just fuck it in general. Yes bupe is strong but the WDs are way worse from methadone (MD). Or so I hear. People have told me “that shit (MD) gets into your bones” and that it changes you permanently. I nary a guess that your life was going so well because everything was more or less stable, and not just because of that specific MD dosage? Be honest with your wife. She’ll appreciate that more than anything. Like just lay it ALL out on the table, if it isn’t already. Understand she’s scared and obv cares about you. Peace man.

 

[xelence]

W

This is a bad way of thinking. Taking any opiate is a relapse. Just because a doctor gives it to you doesn't change the fact you just took an addictive opiod. Don't suck others down into those thoughts.

Take some meds until you feel safe again? Then what? Magically cured after he is safe? He will be right back into the maintenance shit hole. Worst place to be if you want sobriety.

This guy already withdrawaled and did all that work. I would stay the course and get through it. Anyone that is clean has to go through it and promise it doesn't last forever.

Its actually shocking the kratom is doing anything for you after that habit. You must have good opiate receptors.

Wtf?? There is a whole world of difference between taking a controlled opioid administered by a health care professional and scoring junk for yourself on the street or internet. Who cares about “relapse” vs “not relapse”? Did he say that he’s trying to make a AA/NA program his #1 priority and that avoiding a relapse at all costs is the only thing that matters? Hell no he did not. And even if he did I would advise him that he’s got a lot going on and to get there gradually and with help. Yes he has had WDs before but from what he’s said he’s not exactly in the clear.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

W


Wtf?? There is a whole world of difference between taking a controlled opioid administered by a health care professional and scoring junk for yourself on the street or internet. Who cares about “relapse” vs “not relapse”? Did he say that he’s trying to make a AA/NA program his #1 priority and that avoiding a relapse at all costs is the only thing that matters? Hell no he did not. And even if he did I would advise him that he’s got a lot going on and to get there gradually and with help. Yes he has had WDs before but from what he’s said he’s not exactly in the clear.

There was no mention of what he was talking about. Not every opiate is junk. Just street dope. If you are buying your drugs off the internet, you have other issues. You could be getting opiates right from the pharmacy. I do, and don't get a single script.

Also AA / NA has nothing do with this. You can take methadone and go to AA / NA. All you need is a desire to stop.

Only people on methadone defend it. Once you get off and see what it did to your brain, you will think differently about it, I promise. Sobriety is the only way.

I would urge this guy after all the work he put in to keep on course. Do not go back to fucking maintenance. I kick methadone in my sleep so its different for me. Well...not 300mg lol. Kicking off 5mg or under the withdrawal is really non existent. Its just the PAWS that will hurt. I kicked off 65mg last time and it wasn't pretty at all. And did not sleep Ended up having a seizure simply walking down the street. Was kicking alcohol too and every time I would step the electric shocks would travel up my leg to my brain and literally knock me off balance. Until the one that knocked me out cold. Arm started to twitch and my legs gave out. Everything started to look crazy and I collapsed to the ground. Woke up to medics telling me I had a grand mal and going to the hospital.

EDIT: So to put it in perspective had I not gone on methadone that time would of killed my drinking habit MUCH earlier. It only allowed me to drink more (also methadone prevent alcohol withdrawals to some level) and would not have had a seizure that day. Which could of killed me. Methadone is never the fucking answer. All it does is neuter your brain, raise your tolerance to extreme levels. But just wait until you one day have to kick it cold turkey! You will only then see wtf methadone really is. This guy has gone through hell and back. Best not to waste that work and go back to hell. The clinic system is a scam business.

EDIT2: Now, methadone detox is great. Use it to blunt the hard withdrawals of short acting. Maybe even short term maintenance. This going up to 100mg+ and letting people sit on it for years is horrible. But its a business. The very same people you think are saving your life are really just treating you like a fool. Putting you on a high dose and collecting your money.

 

[negrogesic]

I was on methadone for 2.5 years. 4.5 years on suboxone prior. 100mg methadone for 3 months only held me for 8 hours. 200mg for 3 months only held me 12 hours. Eventually ended up on 300mg this held me. Id wake up yawning but that was it. 300mg for around 2 years. Did many peak and trough tests.. ekg etc. Only other user ive seen this high is dextermeth fellow BLer at 285mg. had clean urines the entire time. Only went to the clinic a couple times a month. Did way more counseling than necessary. I had 2.5 hours every Monday and was very very close to my female counselor.

I had a huge IV fentanyl habit thus the high methadone dose. IVing 30-50mg of pure MAF PMAF and BUFF from RC suppliers in China.

I worked the 12 steps, attending 5-7 meetings a week for two years, saw my sponsor weekly. 10 hours therapy a month.. Hit the gym 7 days a week, did my round with steroids mostly trt. The gym was a part of my life for the past 13 years. Worked 10 hours a day 6 days a week. I was more stable and functional on this methadone dose than ive ever been. Healed more than I ever have.

I tapered from 300mg methadone to 138mg in 4 months with very mild withdrawal. Switched instantly no wait to 2mg suboxone slowly titrated to 24mg. Experimental trial with new doctor.. experienced precipitated withdrawal twice a day everyday for 2 weeks. I knew this would happen we both did. Had to take a lot of comfort meds to be OK. Spent 1 month on suboxone. Relapsed hard on RC stims for 3 days I don't know why. Was sick of being sick for a month I guess. Moved across country to be with wife and kids and cold turkeyd the subs. Spent 2 weeks taking 8mg of clonazepam a day as well as 600mg gabapentin. Knocked myself out through the whole thing. I know this wasn't wise. Well a couple week sober after and could not take it.

Ive spent the past 5 months off methadone taking kratom on and off. On one week off etc back and forth. Now im 24 days off kratom and steroids and still so achey, depressed, anxious, restless legs, can't sleep well etc. Ive been 100% sober besides valerian and melatonin. Ive read on reddit people taking 6 weeks for kratom WD depression and anxiety to leave, this could be methadone PAWS, or steroid side effects.

This has destroyed the relationship with my new wife. Someone whom ive never been more in love with in my life and ive been in love many times. We are one in every sense of the word. Were both very spiritual its our lives. Since coming off methadone ive lost most interest in it. Lost interest in everything even recovery. Im surprised wife is still with me. 3 kids to raise.

Broke down today and called sub doctor. I see him in 32 hours. I dont know if I should ride this out or get back on subs. Ive felt like shit on and off for 5 months. And really really felt like shit for the past 24 days. Im so conflicted. I want to be sober otherwise I would have stayed on 300mg methadone.

I go to the gym several days a week, hit meetings, etc but just feel so shitty all the time with a couple hours of feeling OK a day.

Back on TRT and its helped a little bit with depression and focus.

Fight hrough PAWS for another month or 6 or just get on 2mg of suboxone for awhile? I hate to spend anymore life on opioids but cravings physical Pain and mental issues is horrid. I just dont know how much longer I can take. I want to stay sober and wife wants it more than anything but this has been torture. Ive never been one to feel depressed or anxious or in pain. Im only 27.

No insurance cant afford or have access to any medical help here where I moved. The sub doc is cheap though. Gave up my hometown, career, maintenance, sponsor, family, etc to move in with my wife. No drugs except done in 30months to relapsing on stims, benzos, alcohol etc. All this coupled with detox has been a Rollercoaster.. Im so fucking lost and have 32 hours to decide.. and feel it will break my wife's heart if I get back on but being so disconnected from her while feeling like this breaks her heart too.

I was on 380mg a day at my max. 240mg in the morning and 140mg in the late afternoon. Even then id still wake up a little cold, and yawning.

I tapered off slowly. Heavy daily exercise was a huge help. Methadone was a life saver to me.

I had a few relapses some years later, but nothing extremely, and mostly none of it IV.

I still dabble in opioids though, which isnt good. 2-3 days of use is plenty to cause withdrawal in me now.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Is life really better off opioids?

Yes. It is.

Though you have to get off first to be able to appreciate it.

But the thought of getting off and the anxiety induced is often worse than the actuality.

I used to stress about "How will I cope with life and get shit done?"

But when I finally got off, I realised that the shit I got done when addicted was shittier than the shit I can do now...

 

[xelence]

There was no mention of what he was talking about. Not every opiate is junk. Just street dope. If you are buying your drugs off the internet, you have other issues. You could be getting opiates right from the pharmacy. I do, and don't get a single script.

Also AA / NA has nothing do with this. You can take methadone and go to AA / NA. All you need is a desire to stop.

Only people on methadone defend it. Once you get off and see what it did to your brain, you will think differently about it, I promise. Sobriety is the only way.

I would urge this guy after all the work he put in to keep on course. Do not go back to fucking maintenance. I kick methadone in my sleep so its different for me. Well...not 300mg lol. Kicking off 5mg or under the withdrawal is really non existent. Its just the PAWS that will hurt. I kicked off 65mg last time and it wasn't pretty at all. And did not sleep Ended up having a seizure simply walking down the street. Was kicking alcohol too and every time I would step the electric shocks would travel up my leg to my brain and literally knock me off balance. Until the one that knocked me out cold. Arm started to twitch and my legs gave out. Everything started to look crazy and I collapsed to the ground. Woke up to medics telling me I had a grand mal and going to the hospital.

EDIT: So to put it in perspective had I not gone on methadone that time would of killed my drinking habit MUCH earlier. It only allowed me to drink more (also methadone prevent alcohol withdrawals to some level) and would not have had a seizure that day. Which could of killed me. Methadone is never the fucking answer. All it does is neuter your brain, raise your tolerance to extreme levels. But just wait until you one day have to kick it cold turkey! You will only then see wtf methadone really is. This guy has gone through hell and back. Best not to waste that work and go back to hell. The clinic system is a scam business.

EDIT2: Now, methadone detox is great. Use it to blunt the hard withdrawals of short acting. Maybe even short term maintenance. This going up to 100mg+ and letting people sit on it for years is horrible. But its a business. The very same people you think are saving your life are really just treating you like a fool. Putting you on a high dose and collecting your money.

You’re all over the place. Junk and dope are just slang for drug-related stuff. You get your pills straight from the pharmacy but without a script? That’s not how pharmacies work. You think internet sourcing is inferior to or different from in-person sourcing? Why. You advise an abrupt cessation and in the same breath describe how poorly it went for you. You were literally “knocked out cold” and woke up in a hospital. Oh but you have an explanation for that too. I don’t think anyone is advocating that maintenance meds are superior to sobriety, but it sounds like you’re new to recovery. Maybe you need to lose a few friends before you reconsider the “I don’t need any outside help” approach. Your intentions seem good enough, like you want to help. Idk if anyone is saying “go back on done” but what *I* am suggesting is that this person consider professional assistance. Maybe you’re in NA and you like the chant at every meeting about how psychiatry didn’t help. Maybe it won’t for this person either, but they’re in the middle of a rather medical situation and I think it’s unwise to be having medical opinions on other people’s lives. IME the best source of info is to ask a bunch of people and read a bunch of opinions and then combine that with your own brain power and deduce what’s best for you.

I agree that sub doctors and clinics are, almost always, rackets designed to siphon money from suffering individuals. It’s a tricky situation.

 

[TheInvisibleStoner]

You’re all over the place. Junk and dope are just slang for drug-related stuff. You get your pills straight from the pharmacy but without a script? That’s not how pharmacies work. You think internet sourcing is inferior to or different from in-person sourcing? Why. You advise an abrupt cessation and in the same breath describe how poorly it went for you. You were literally “knocked out cold” and woke up in a hospital. Oh but you have an explanation for that too. I don’t think anyone is advocating that maintenance meds are superior to sobriety, but it sounds like you’re new to recovery. Maybe you need to lose a few friends before you reconsider the “I don’t need any outside help” approach. Your intentions seem good enough, like you want to help. Idk if anyone is saying “go back on done” but what *I* am suggesting is that this person consider professional assistance. Maybe you’re in NA and you like the chant at every meeting about how psychiatry didn’t help. Maybe it won’t for this person either, but they’re in the middle of a rather medical situation and I think it’s unwise to be having medical opinions on other people’s lives. IME the best source of info is to ask a bunch of people and read a bunch of opinions and then combine that with your own brain power and deduce what’s best for you.

I agree that sub doctors and clinics are, almost always, rackets designed to siphon money from suffering individuals. It’s a tricky situation.

I have been on and off methadone for over 2 decades. Have around 8 cold turkey clinic kicks (really depends what you consider a cold turkey kick). And 3 tapers where I always made it over a year off. Usually would start messing with opiates again around the 6-9th month mark. Was on it for the 1st time at 19. Also took it lots for self tapers. I never gave up fighting opiates as I will never submit to being a junkie. Against the way I was raised to start. And being on that shit an embarrassment. You can't even do anything on that stuff. Even going camping for the weekend may cause issues. Dude was on 300mg and failing his marriage. I wonder why lol. It breaks your dick too. How you gonna be happy without having normal sex? You won't.

Well...not 300mg lol. Kicking off 5mg or under the withdrawal is really non existent.

This was my exact quote. Do not kick off 300mg. Kicking sub 5mg and there is barely any withdrawal. But this guy ended up cold turkeying and already put the work in. If he were on day 2 I would tell him to get back to the clinic tomorrow and taper. Just like I told that dude on 120mg he may be making a mistake going to rehab. Have to check what happened with him. Everyone metabolizes it different anyway. 300mg for him could be 60mg for someone else. The actual dose number means very little.

Methadone didn't cause a seizure, drinking cessation did. However the poor nature of the clinic scripted me methadone when I was in such deep shit with alcohol and didn't even bat an eye. I didn't even see a doctor. And here is your dose of opiates. Wait...did you make your payment yet?

They also scripted it to me when I didn't even have an opiate problem and even dropped clean for them lol. In the USA its really bad.

There is no doctor with methadone treatment. Its a joke. Maybe if the system consisted with more than a months update that went like this -

1) Has anything changed?
2) Is your dose OK? Any cravings? You need an increase?
3) Looks like you are ready for the next take home schedule!
4) Good job! See you next month!

Then I would take it as a more serious treatment. As of right now its just a legal fix that you get forever. Easy to zombie you out and have your squirrel money to them vs give you any treatment.

I have much sobriety. Willing to bet money probably 2x more than you. Unless you started dope in high school and in your 40's now, clean... you are not even on my level when it comes to using let alone recovery dude. I grew up in the dope spot and saw people shooting up heroin and was kicking needles down the street by age 10. I avoided dope for a long time. People were sniffing dope in jr high. Friend advice LOL. Friends that get opiates right from the pharmacy and hook you up are much better than internet sourcing.

I still play with opiates though . And I enjoy them very much when I do. Well for the most part. As you get older they kinda lose their fun. No longer drink either and opiates don't feel like they used to. The street dope sucks. I feel like my life is leaps and bounds better when not on any opiates to be honest. Feel good. I just got back off. Was only on it for 1.5 months last time. Stopped from 10mg. Had a little fucked up headspace is all. Opiates very mental. Have you ever kicked benzos and seized to the hospital? Or had alcohol DT's and legit was in psychosis? That is a real withdrawal...

I will never believe anyone cannot stop taking opiates. Just giving someone an unlimited supply of opiates is crazy. This type of treatment should involve literally 4 hours a day of therapy. I cannot say anyone I know was helped by it long term. Turned them into hardcore addicts when they were just chippers to start. It may seem like it at 1st. And if you got off in time maybe it did. Sitting on it for years is not going to end well.

 

[Skippwiggins]

For reference i am off methadone have been for 6 months. Today is almost 30 days off kratom which I took on and off. Probably 3 mon off and 3 on.

Its been almost a week since this post and things are a bit better. Since having 2 more shots of T and taking ashwaghanda for anxiety I feel somewhat better. Anxiety isn't crippling just background, aches and pains mostly gone, can spend 1.5 hours in the gym instead of 40 mins. This time includes cardio and stretching. Night time still sucks so restless, pins and needles pain, insomnia. I still really don't feel right mentally or physically. I just feel so off.. laughing and kissing more but still have trouble connecting with wife.

Cravings aren't 24/7 subsided to maybe hour a day.

Still not sure what the plan is. Would love suboxone but 6 months of withdrawal down the toilet for nothing would suck. To be sick this long and not be sober man idk if what to do. Day at a time as they say.