Scared Haunting horrible trip

soyouhadabadday

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About two years ago, I had the LSD trip to end all LSD trips. My "friend" at the time gave me way too much for my first and only time ever doing it, and it was as reckless as anyone can imagine. 1,600 micrograms in only two tabs. I was screaming at the top of my lungs all night long in the worst fear I will ever possibly experience. Thank god my girlfriend was present to help me stay in bed through the trip so I wouldn't hurt myself, but I digress. I have a personality disorder, and the LSD made it hit me all at once in the worst possible way. I'm getting emotional, going back on it to type all this out. It was a very dark experience. I was totally not here, not thinking anything rational at all, just to say the least. It was so bad, that say if anyone in the future tries to roofie me with it as a prank, I'd have to immediately call an ambulance. I will never be as frightened by anything else for the rest of my life. It was like sitting in a cage with a hungry lion while wearing a raw steak necklace times a million. A purely unthinkable amount of fear. I can't emphasize enough how traumatizing it was.

Please tell me, how do I get past the existential crisis? How can I return my thoughts and perspective to a state of normalcy? How can I stop being worried about mortality and ensuring the significance of my life like a normal 23 year old? This third-eye crap is not fun like they said it'd be. 😭
 
I did this sort of shit to myself so many times when I was younger, like you said the fear is overwhelming and persistent. I eventually stopped almost all drug use (especially psychs) after a horrid trip that ended in the ER soaked head-to-toe in my own blood.

One thing that helped me was essentially apathy. What does it really matter if nothing is real, everything is a veil, you're alone in your own memories, or whatever thoughts/delusions are creeping in? That doesn't change your day-to-day, you still have this reality no matter what it actually is. And that reality just gets shittier if you ignore it or retreat into fantasy.

Also try keeping busy and using that nervous energy for positive things. Studying something difficult or exercising can really help if you can stay focused, which can definitely be tough.

I won't start preaching, but ultimately religion helped me get to a truly stable place, kick a lot of bad habits, and give a solid foundation to test delusions against.

Good luck on your journey, it will get better if you stay positive and avoid doing more psychs.
 
Your first ever trip is always the strongest but rest assured you did not take 1600 ug in two tabs you most likely had two tabs dosed at 100-200 ug which is still too much for a first timer. I know i did 3 tabs my first trip but i had a blissful rebirth but i have been in very dark trips over my life usually due to running away from my self. LSD needs complete acceptance it also helps to know what it actually does.

Everybody who takes LSD enters another reality for 12 hours you are given pretty much divine knowledge. Shown god etc. Its for real and once you accept that and love yourself and the world as this world was born out of love.

The thing about LSD if you ever leave it on a dark trip you will most likely be dealing with alot of strife for years to come as the unresolved issues in your psyche never got finished.

Meditate my friend 15 minutes a day eat clean and do no drugs your brain will eventually reset after a few years.
 
My 1st trip I really didn't feel.

Yeah, my last trip was horrid. Took 2 geltabs and a roll and was fucked. It lasted for over 2 days. And really wasn't normal for a few weeks. I was young.

Haven't taken acid (that probably wasn't even acid or was some super powerful stuff) since. Mushrooms on the other hand I like, feel super euphoric, and its short. Never had a bad trip. Still take them several times a year.

I don't think it will be years, but a bad trip does something to you inside.
 
That sounds exhilarating for someone like me, but easily overwhelming to 90% of people.

I tend to enjoy taking several strong tabs at once, but stick to one at a time so I can be more "functional" i.e. outgoing, physically active.

I'm very sorry you had an overwhelming experience with it. Try to see it as having broadened your emotional range so that you are not going to be as affected by "the small things" now since you have experienced a state of extreme fear. Many people find this experience humbling if overwhelming.

Has it made you at all thankful for your sober reality?
 
I did this sort of shit to myself so many times when I was younger, like you said the fear is overwhelming and persistent. I eventually stopped almost all drug use (especially psychs) after a horrid trip that ended in the ER soaked head-to-toe in my own blood.

One thing that helped me was essentially apathy. What does it really matter if nothing is real, everything is a veil, you're alone in your own memories, or whatever thoughts/delusions are creeping in? That doesn't change your day-to-day, you still have this reality no matter what it actually is. And that reality just gets shittier if you ignore it or retreat into fantasy.

Also try keeping busy and using that nervous energy for positive things. Studying something difficult or exercising can really help if you can stay focused, which can definitely be tough.

I won't start preaching, but ultimately religion helped me get to a truly stable place, kick a lot of bad habits, and give a solid foundation to test delusions against.

Good luck on your journey, it will get better if you stay positive and avoid doing more psychs.
Phew, that sounds like it was a tough trip, thank you for sharing! Yes, I'm definitely been trying to be less narcissistic about my experience. I try and think of how insignificant we are from a lens of thankfulness that it's something I have. I've been pursuing a career with computer programming in this time, and it has really kept me busy. My experiences from the trip have definitely made me more religious, I've been trying to explore spirituality to find some answers of what I've been going through. I figure that a lot of the answers to the questions I have can only be found internally.

Thank you, and good luck to you too on all of your endeavors! I definitely have no more interest in psychedelics, that's for sure.


Your first ever trip is always the strongest but rest assured you did not take 1600 ug in two tabs you most likely had two tabs dosed at 100-200 ug which is still too much for a first timer. I know i did 3 tabs my first trip but i had a blissful rebirth but i have been in very dark trips over my life usually due to running away from my self. LSD needs complete acceptance it also helps to know what it actually does.

Everybody who takes LSD enters another reality for 12 hours you are given pretty much divine knowledge. Shown god etc. Its for real and once you accept that and love yourself and the world as this world was born out of love.

The thing about LSD if you ever leave it on a dark trip you will most likely be dealing with alot of strife for years to come as the unresolved issues in your psyche never got finished.

Meditate my friend 15 minutes a day eat clean and do no drugs your brain will eventually reset after a few years.
They weren't average-sized tabs, I was told that the tab sizes didn't matter but was later told from the same person that the tab sizes definitely mattered... Self-acceptance, yes. That is something that I had absolutely none of at the time. The trip forced me to figure it out, though haha. I've been wanting to implement meditation in my schedule, I guess I've just needed someone to tell me to do it. Thanks!

My 1st trip I really didn't feel.

Yeah, my last trip was horrid. Took 2 geltabs and a roll and was fucked. It lasted for over 2 days. And really wasn't normal for a few weeks. I was young.

Haven't taken acid (that probably wasn't even acid or was some super powerful stuff) since. Mushrooms on the other hand I like, feel super euphoric, and its short. Never had a bad trip. Still take them several times a year.

I don't think it will be years, but a bad trip does something to you inside.
Sounds like you did a lot! Wow. I've done mushrooms too, and they weren't any fun for me either; however, was bad to a much lesser extent. Those fucking tracers, man... I have a newfound understanding of Salvador Dali's paintings lmao. Yes, I agree, it totally makes things different internally. Just as a small example, I don't think i'll ever perceive time the same way ever again.

That sounds exhilarating for someone like me, but easily overwhelming to 90% of people.

I tend to enjoy taking several strong tabs at once, but stick to one at a time so I can be more "functional" i.e. outgoing, physically active.

I'm very sorry you had an overwhelming experience with it. Try to see it as having broadened your emotional range so that you are not going to be as affected by "the small things" now since you have experienced a state of extreme fear. Many people find this experience humbling if overwhelming.

Has it made you at all thankful for your sober reality?
Absolutely lol. I was sure I was going to be stuck in an objective-less void of fragmented time for the rest of existence itself. I was convinced that was what death was. While I'm way more afraid of death now because I'm afraid that's what it will be, I am way more appreciative of being alive where I'm in this current reality we share, where I am blessed with perceptual control over my environment and emotions lmao.
 
About two years ago, I had the LSD trip to end all LSD trips. My "friend" at the time gave me way too much for my first and only time ever doing it, and it was as reckless as anyone can imagine. 1,600 micrograms in only two tabs. I was screaming at the top of my lungs all night long in the worst fear I will ever possibly experience. Thank god my girlfriend was present to help me stay in bed through the trip so I wouldn't hurt myself, but I digress. I have a personality disorder, and the LSD made it hit me all at once in the worst possible way. I'm getting emotional, going back on it to type all this out. It was a very dark experience. I was totally not here, not thinking anything rational at all, just to say the least. It was so bad, that say if anyone in the future tries to roofie me with it as a prank, I'd have to immediately call an ambulance. I will never be as frightened by anything else for the rest of my life. It was like sitting in a cage with a hungry lion while wearing a raw steak necklace times a million. A purely unthinkable amount of fear. I can't emphasize enough how traumatizing it was.

Please tell me, how do I get past the existential crisis? How can I return my thoughts and perspective to a state of normalcy? How can I stop being worried about mortality and ensuring the significance of my life like a normal 23 year old? This third-eye crap is not fun like they said it'd be. 😭
That is soo fucked up by the guy who gave em to ya, ESPECIALLY considering he knew it was your first trip, i dunno if i could stay peacefull had it been me. I am very sensitive to acid too and have my share of tales. I dont want to recommend a few days on benzos to mellow it out as that might backfire badly but maybe a few days/ nights on Phenibut to up your GABA and your brain some rest?? I always thought when young that you couldnt stay hooked on a acid trip, told by a older guy who dropped 8 at a time. " you always come down " he said. But i have read reports, theres even a Book out now in german by a guy who "missed the exit " to quote him, so get some rest, chill, phenibut and avoid psychedelics at least for a while. Dont let yourself be peer pressured into doing acid! I was so dumb when young and " who can take the most " is just plain stupid. Tryptophan to sleep and get serotonin up may help. Sorry for the rant, i wish you all the best!!!!!
Mo
 
Phew, that sounds like it was a tough trip, thank you for sharing! Yes, I'm definitely been trying to be less narcissistic about my experience. I try and think of how insignificant we are from a lens of thankfulness that it's something I have. I've been pursuing a career with computer programming in this time, and it has really kept me busy. My experiences from the trip have definitely made me more religious, I've been trying to explore spirituality to find some answers of what I've been going through. I figure that a lot of the answers to the questions I have can only be found internally.

Thank you, and good luck to you too on all of your endeavors! I definitely have no more interest in psychedelics, that's for sure.



They weren't average-sized tabs, I was told that the tab sizes didn't matter but was later told from the same person that the tab sizes definitely mattered... Self-acceptance, yes. That is something that I had absolutely none of at the time. The trip forced me to figure it out, though haha. I've been wanting to implement meditation in my schedule, I guess I've just needed someone to tell me to do it. Thanks!


Sounds like you did a lot! Wow. I've done mushrooms too, and they weren't any fun for me either; however, was bad to a much lesser extent. Those fucking tracers, man... I have a newfound understanding of Salvador Dali's paintings lmao. Yes, I agree, it totally makes things different internally. Just as a small example, I don't think i'll ever perceive time the same way ever again.


Absolutely lol. I was sure I was going to be stuck in an objective-less void of fragmented time for the rest of existence itself. I was convinced that was what death was. While I'm way more afraid of death now because I'm afraid that's what it will be, I am way more appreciative of being alive where I'm in this current reality we share, where I am blessed with perceptual control over my environment and emotions lmao.
NEWFOUND UNDERSTANDING OF SALVADOR DALIS PAINTING = BEST COMMENT/ SENTENCE IVE READ TODAY 👍 YEAH!!!
 
Absolutely lol. I was sure I was going to be stuck in an objective-less void of fragmented time for the rest of existence itself. I was convinced that was what death was. While I'm way more afraid of death now because I'm afraid that's what it will be, I am way more appreciative of being alive where I'm in this current reality we share, where I am blessed with perceptual control over my environment and emotions lmao.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.

Once on mushrooms I entered the timelessness state where I was completely non-verbal and it was unsettling, I was convinced I would be there forever. It was "terrifying".

There is a certain point in the experience where I had total derealization and I was struggling with the philosophical concept that nothing was real (almost an inverse of what Leibniz would have purported) and I had this massive realization that it purely did not matter, that "I am here" and that's all that mattered and even if life wasn't real that I should merely go along and enjoy it for what it is worth, even if I am stuck here forever.

A notion behind Buddhist philosophy is that we are here forever and will be reincarnated endlessly, hence their concept of nirvana is simply non-existence, etc.

This is specifically why I no longer do mushrooms, and if I do, I won't do more than 3.5 grams. When I was younger I would do 5, 7, 14 grams sometimes to intentionally get to states like that. I know that is not most people's cups of tea and I too even lost my taste for an experience that intense many years ago.

For some reason with LSD, it is never that intense for me; I don't become mute and I am able to remain emotionally positive and mentally connected to reality.
 
Oh, I know what you're talking about.

Once on mushrooms I entered the timelessness state where I was completely non-verbal and it was unsettling, I was convinced I would be there forever. It was "terrifying".

There is a certain point in the experience where I had total derealization and I was struggling with the philosophical concept that nothing was real (almost an inverse of what Leibniz would have purported) and I had this massive realization that it purely did not matter, that "I am here" and that's all that mattered and even if life wasn't real that I should merely go along and enjoy it for what it is worth, even if I am stuck here forever.

A notion behind Buddhist philosophy is that we are here forever and will be reincarnated endlessly, hence their concept of nirvana is simply non-existence, etc.

This is specifically why I no longer do mushrooms, and if I do, I won't do more than 3.5 grams. When I was younger I would do 5, 7, 14 grams sometimes to intentionally get to states like that. I know that is not most people's cups of tea and I too even lost my taste for an experience that intense many years ago.

For some reason with LSD, it is never that intense for me; I don't become mute and I am able to remain emotionally positive and mentally connected to reality.
You seem to be getting the correct dosed 100-150mcg trips, Captain!!
Not those hit n miss ones! I always felt acid coming on in waves and i remember one well. It was those grinning fly agaric, cardboard with green felt (sp.?), filz in german, i went with a friend to the botanic garden to relieve a huge San Pedro of a meter and somehow make it through the ticket guy on Way out. I dropped one before we went ( big mistake)!!!
First wave hit me between the lush green. Since i was out of it already, i was to stand guard against visitors while he cut off a meter or so. We were well prepared with bag and knife but didnt know the mean prickers they have! The sight of my friend fighting that huge cactus had me on the floor laughing (second or third wave) i was no help at all.
To cut it short ( great visuals between the canopy waving and like in a jungle) we made it out with the cactus part and a badly stung friend, well his hands at least. So it was time to relax and he told me that but the waves were coming in faster now and he could see i was loosing it. To cut it off, he shoved me into his room and hit his MUM ( embarrassing) up for a Valium.
 
Perhaps the experience has forced your head the need to do self-exploration and this is what you are struggling to accept. LSD-25 shatters relative truth and tells you the Truth. I refused to accept it at first and drank like a savage till I found myself back at the same spot where I had essentially left it. Treat the lessons of the substance as that from the platonic Guardian, travel through the Americas, be outside of yourself and the integration will be rapid. Anxiety is the body's natural self-defense mechanism. It gets all the more nerve wracking when you head outside a see yourself in the midst of a concrete jungle.
 
I cannot account to many of the bad trips I had, because I learned to usually sit them out
(I was a heavy mescaline user in my early twenties)

But one time on hawaiian mushrooms (both my ex and I took too many), I 'warped' into some sort of parallel world, that still feels real to the touch to me. Everything in said world was hauntingly real, and ridiculously beautiful.

For years after that, I had problems coping with reality. I didn't know which was which. Did I freak out and go into another made-up reality? Did I freak out and break OUT OF a made-up reality? It was killing me(I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, so it was really really hard for me to actually tell)
What did it for me in the end, was cutting out the psychedelics, and reminding myself of what was real, my mind really needed the help, even help offered by myself - and the same thing I advise you to do. Remind yourself of what's real, what makes you happy, your heart beat faster. This is the reality we live in, and there is nothing we can do to change that. We best make it a pleasant experience :)

edit: don't forget it's a long way to unscribble a mind, just walk it one step at a time and you will feel much better
 
About two years ago, I had the LSD trip to end all LSD trips. My "friend" at the time gave me way too much for my first and only time ever doing it, and it was as reckless as anyone can imagine. 1,600 micrograms in only two tabs. I was screaming at the top of my lungs all night long in the worst fear I will ever possibly experience. Thank god my girlfriend was present to help me stay in bed through the trip so I wouldn't hurt myself, but I digress. I have a personality disorder, and the LSD made it hit me all at once in the worst possible way. I'm getting emotional, going back on it to type all this out. It was a very dark experience. I was totally not here, not thinking anything rational at all, just to say the least. It was so bad, that say if anyone in the future tries to roofie me with it as a prank, I'd have to immediately call an ambulance. I will never be as frightened by anything else for the rest of my life. It was like sitting in a cage with a hungry lion while wearing a raw steak necklace times a million. A purely unthinkable amount of fear. I can't emphasize enough how traumatizing it was.

Please tell me, how do I get past the existential crisis? How can I return my thoughts and perspective to a state of normalcy? How can I stop being worried about mortality and ensuring the significance of my life like a normal 23 year old? This third-eye crap is not fun like they said it'd be. 😭

I've had one bad trip out of probably 200 in my life. It was totally my fault. I was getting tired of sharing my drugs with my boyfriend when I was the one paying for them. So out of frustration, I picked up his half sheet and just barely touched my flat tongue to it. I knew that the body absorbs LSD very quickly so I made sure to make it a very quick light touch, figuring I would get some but not the whole thing. Yeah, I ended up with a heavy, heavy overdose and I was screaming my head off. My BF was trying to help me but I didn't know how he could. I kept changing gears from telling him to keep talking to me, play music, stop talking, feed me, rub me, don't touch me, etc. all because I could feel myself falling into an abys and losing all contact with reality. And I did not want to take that trip! I knew that if it went bad, meaning if I started having PTSD flashbacks, I'd be a goner. They say fear is the worst emotion to feel while tripping, especially on acid.

When I look back on it now, I wonder if it would have been better to let the abys take me. Because I fought it the way I did, screaming and crying, terrified of letting myself go, I am really scared to take large amounts of acid like I used to. I once received 5 sheets of 340ug hits and it was all gone in well under a year. My boyfriend and I, because we used so much so often finished all 5 sheets ourselves. We would often take 10+ hits per night, two nights per week. We only used acid for sex. For me, it increases the intensity of my orgasms by a factor of ~1000. :) Anyway, maybe, if I had gone into that abyss, the worst would have happened and I would have ended up with worse PTSD. But had I been well-prepared for a major trip, and had my emotions been in the right place, maybe I would have found nirvana.

Now I work to find that perfect mindset, hoping to one day feel safe enough to take 3000+ugs. I picture myself falling into that abys while smiling, and feeling ready to accept whatever happens. I visualize the perfect trip and think about how I would feel and try to make myself feel that way now. It's really a form of hypnosis. I think that visualizing the trip I wanted, and imagining myself feeling the emotions I wanted to feel, might help me to forget the bad memory and might prepare me for that abyss, whether purposeful or accidental.

Until then, I do more shrooms and mescaline, topped off with occasional MDMA and/or GHB. And before you go thinking that I'm young and stupid, I am a 53 year old woman. That's the other bad thing about acid, the recovery is a bear, and gets worse the older you get. It takes me a solid 2 days to recover from an acid trip, while there's no recovery period with shrooms. As for mescaline, I read that the trip itself lasts around 24 hours. I don't remember what the recovery period for it is, but I will know soon because I took some tonight.

PS This is my very first post on Bluelight.
 
Are Acid and Lsd the same thing? I've always been too chicken to try it because I'm afraid I'll go off on a trip and never return. Can that even happen to someone?

I just had someone text me today offering me free Acid but I'm afraid of having a bad trip because my husband and I are having problems and I'm afraid he will push me into a bad trip.

I've ate mushrooms about ten times and I had two bad trips. They didnt scar me, but I remember the anxiety I felt to this day. I always assumed that mushrooms were more mild then Acid, but really have no clue.
 
Are Acid and Lsd the same thing? I've always been too chicken to try it because I'm afraid I'll go off on a trip and never return. Can that even happen to someone?

I just had someone text me today offering me free Acid but I'm afraid of having a bad trip because my husband and I are having problems and I'm afraid he will push me into a bad trip.

I've ate mushrooms about ten times and I had two bad trips. They didnt scar me, but I remember the anxiety I felt to this day. I always assumed that mushrooms were more mild then Acid, but really have no clue.
acid and lsd are the same thing but its always good to use a testing kit to ensure its LSD and not some RC. Mushrooms and acid can reach the same levels but very different effects but still that psychedelic mind bending type stuff.

For some people who are prone to schizophernia etc they can be triggered on a trip worsening their mental state though even they will return once the substance wears off. I don't think anybody has ever not returned.

Set and setting is crucial to having a good trip. Always wait til you have a good state of mind before taking LSD.

All trips are dose dependent, LSD is very a cosmic type universal experince of reality while mushrooms in their lower doses are still heavily body grounded and grounded in reality. The visuals on LSD are very different to mushrooms.
 
acid and lsd are the same thing but its always good to use a testing kit to ensure its LSD and not some RC. Mushrooms and acid can reach the same levels but very different effects but still that psychedelic mind bending type stuff.

For some people who are prone to schizophernia etc they can be triggered on a trip worsening their mental state though even they will return once the substance wears off. I don't think anybody has ever not returned.

Set and setting is crucial to having a good trip. Always wait til you have a good state of mind before taking LSD.

All trips are dose dependent, LSD is very a cosmic type universal experince of reality while mushrooms in their lower doses are still heavily body grounded and grounded in reality. The visuals on LSD are very different to mushrooms.
What's RC? Research chemical?
I think I understand your last paragraph. Care to elaborate on it a little more? I'm really interested.
 
What's RC? Research chemical?
I think I understand your last paragraph. Care to elaborate on it a little more? I'm really interested.
yeah research chemicals. Back in the days of like 2012-2015 was plauged with 25i nbome been sold as LSD which was some nasty stuff. But testing kits can tell what you have.

so LSD i would say is like sky high tripping you are discovering the far reaches of the multiverse while shrooms are grounded down to earth more tapped into the primal roots we came from. While LSD is like big bang universal truths about the wider reality. But its really hard to describe tbh but you will be sweet since you have done mushrooms before. I had taken alot of LSD before i did mushrooms and my mate always tried to describe it and it was not til i did shrooms did i realize the difference and was like o wow this is very very different.

LSD is also very stimulating compared to shrooms which are quite relaxed. LSD is easier to drive your trip with your own mind changing music changing scenery will very quickly change up whatever vibe you feel on the LSD. LSD is a beautiful drug and its first message is one of universal love the peak comes in around 3-4 hour mark but by 2 hours you will be pretty much full on tripping. So by the time LSD has fully kicked in a mushroom trip would nearly be over.
 
yeah research chemicals. Back in the days of like 2012-2015 was plauged with 25i nbome been sold as LSD which was some nasty stuff. But testing kits can tell what you have.

so LSD i would say is like sky high tripping you are discovering the far reaches of the multiverse while shrooms are grounded down to earth more tapped into the primal roots we came from. While LSD is like big bang universal truths about the wider reality. But its really hard to describe tbh but you will be sweet since you have done mushrooms before. I had taken alot of LSD before i did mushrooms and my mate always tried to describe it and it was not til i did shrooms did i realize the difference and was like o wow this is very very different.

LSD is also very stimulating compared to shrooms which are quite relaxed. LSD is easier to drive your trip with your own mind changing music changing scenery will very quickly change up whatever vibe you feel on the LSD. LSD is a beautiful drug and its first message is one of universal love the peak comes in around 3-4 hour mark but by 2 hours you will be pretty much full on tripping. So by the time LSD has fully kicked in a mushroom trip would nearly be over.
That's cool you can control your trip. Wow. So I'm assuming you like Lsd better than mushrooms?
What about bad trips? Are they similar to mushrooms bad trips? And do you feel rough the next couple days or so or do you bounce back after a trip? Also, would my antipsychotics block me from feeling either of them?
 
That's cool you can control your trip. Wow. So I'm assuming you like Lsd better than mushrooms?
What about bad trips? Are they similar to mushrooms bad trips? And do you feel rough the next couple days or so or do you bounce back after a trip? Also, would my antipsychotics block me from feeling either of them?
antipsychotics would block the effects. Yeah LSD is my favourite drug i like mushrooms but only really use them when i feel called to do while LSD i take alot.

I guess they would be similar to a mushroom bad trip though i never had a bad trip on mushrooms just heavy experinces but on LSD i have had my bad trips from doing it in a wrong state of mind and mixing weed on strong doses. Though i can see both of them just reaching the same dark place. I been to hell and back on my worst LSD trips but in hindsight they were teaching me a lesson that took a few years to soak in.

After LSD you feel pretty drained for a few days and takes about a week to feel rested up fully. The day after a LSD trip you will feel quite different.
 
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