Chapter II: The Abyss is Eternal !

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jhjhsdi said:
I was laughing at the Pic btw bro not your sadness

Loooool went in.


I've had a fucking weird night. Got drunk had takeaway then got a 2.30am call from a mate who owes me 450 quid saying he's just managed to get his hands on 25g of k and will sort me out 'off the debt' so I get a taxi to his which was my last bit of money and it's in the middle of nowhere, we get there he pulls out the big bag of k, did a few lines and then, well, I think he must be gay and thought I was gay cuz shit got weird, I told him I'm not and I have no problem with it if he is and if he ever wants support coming out I'm here and if he wants no one to know I won't say a word.
So then all of a sudden he 'loses' the bag of drugs. Says 'it's gone' and 'there's no point trying to look cuz he knows its just GONE' gets angry and jumps in his bed growling. (enter @Captain.Heroin I wish to sort him out)
I honestly feel like punching him but I also feel kinda sorry for him. I just want a fucking line! The ones we did barely touched the fucking sides. I don't care if he's gay ill still be his friend I have plenty of gay friends. Two of which have come onto me before thinking I was too and we the whole awkward thing and now it's fine. Aparantly I confused them? I guess I'm just too committed to hetero bromance?
But now I'm lying on the sofa downstairs it's like 30 mile from where I'm staying and I'm strung out, there's no booze left, no fucking k in sight and I'm skint to the bone. It's light as fuck and the curtains are white and thin.
All I can hear is his brother fucking some girl. Dunno if it's his Mrs or a one night stand but I'm tempted to go ask if she fancys a spit roast 🤷‍♂️ sounds like a right goer.

FML. I wish I'd never heard his call
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oh yeah the brosexualketakulture is real and i wouldn't know how to begin to help you

they become party drugs i.e. poppers or meth and people become more into having sex with the focus being on the drug than you

trust me there is nothing more boner killer

no i don't want to fuck you while you do drugs

you can get high before or after, you're not into it, go away

but um there's nothing wrong with a little right before or after

it is likely he still thinks he is hetero and is just gonna keep the drugs for sex w/ another man (prolly the guy he got it from)

do not ask for your $ back unless you know he has it in $ don't go for the ket again

i know how much you love it

but he's dangling it for ... whatever sexdrugfuck he wants
 
iLoveYouWithaKnife said:
Maybe you should take this time to examine your own sexuality. I mean, If he’s the 3rd person to suspect you’re gay.... just saying.
Isn’t there some sort of gaydar for that kind of thing...
I mean.... funny how you instantly had to chime in that you wanted to see if the brother’s girl “fancied a spit roast”. I don’t know what that’s code for, but I’m assuming it’s some kind of analogy for proving your so-called hetero-ness after all that homo-ness talk.
Just saying.
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Yeah but I've never looked at other males that way.
And it's not really 'suspect I'm gay' cuz all 3 have known me for a long time and known me to have been with multiple long relationships with women and during my single periods be a right male slut shagging birds? And they all shag birds too and have or are in long relationships with women and 2 of them have kids. I think they're just all bi and trying their luck? I dunno

@Captain.Heroin can you use gaydar on me
 
jhjhsdi said:
@Captain.Heroin when I said 'sort him out' I did really mean bum him to death, lol

I would rob him for what he owes me but I'm 110% sure he would talk to police and I'm on unconditional bail FFS

AND I'M ON 10% BATTERY AND DIDN'T BRING MY CHARGER

FACK
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I tried sending you a short pm bu it wouldn't send

just my luck the k ferries are interfering

borkbork

and um

just got my dicc wet and he got off a lot like WILD. He likes to have a few drinks before. That's his thing and I liek it(because he's not drinking beers during and it makes him a bit more like.. seemingly like he likes it and not like it's dreadfully painful)

i can only imagine what getting impaled by my bbc is like
 
jhjhsdi said:
Yeah but I've never looked at other males that way.
And it's not really 'suspect I'm gay' cuz all 3 have known me for a long time and known me to have been with multiple long relationships with women and during my single periods be a right male slut shagging birds? And they all shag birds too and have or are in long relationships with women and 2 of them have kids. I think they're just all bi and trying their luck? I dunno

@Captain.Heroin can you use gaydar on me
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i have a few... good (and i use this term a lot "good" whatever that might mean to you) keta-sex stories i would share but um

it would be humiliating ... I don't kiss and tell (there's certain details i like to keep to myself and feel abashed to share)

i think ket is one of those drugs which can broaden your sexual horizons ... equally or more so than meth for some people? meth is like a disaster drug to some. I never liked it much

lsd and sex is my thing, because it keeps your body feeling amazing I don't know how to put it into words, it electrifies my dick some how
 
jhjhsdi said:
@Captain.Heroin can you use gaydar on me
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oh specific to this

i don't have gaydar

like if i hear a guy speak there is a certain enthusiasm with the voice and eyes

that heteros just don't have

but gaydar is not real imo, not to me anyways

there are some people who are ... what i would call "outstandingly heterosexual" acting but will get down with a bro like me

and um..... some that are straight and act like they won the title of queen bee @ pride parade

so um.... yeah no gaydar here? if someone is FLIRTING i can't even tell

people have to clue me in

but if i can tell it's flirting it's a definite YES

basically if I was a covid test I'd have very low %age accuracy
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I tried sending you a short pm bu it wouldn't send

just my luck the k ferries are interfering

borkbork

and um

just got my dicc wet and he got off a lot like WILD. He likes to have a few drinks before. That's his thing and I liek it(because he's not drinking beers during and it makes him a bit more like.. seemingly like he likes it and not like it's dreadfully painful)

i can only imagine what getting impaled by my bbc is like
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Actually it came through twice. Cheers pal

I'll ask him when he's sober if he wants to talk about what happened, if he's too ashamed, he can wire me what he owes when he has it lol

Guess I should go fuck some chicks and/or wank to straight/lesbian porn and then mid way look at or think about a dude and make sure my boner disappears 😂
Thanks alot, @iLoveYouWithaKnife
 
i, the shameful ho i am, actually did write out one exp where i was with the k fairies and it was all... sorts of ...

i can't

i'm not going back there

it was erotic on a different level
 
jhjhsdi said:
Actually it came through twice. Cheers pal

I'll ask him when he's sober if he wants to talk about what happened, if he's too ashamed, he can wire me what he owes when he has it lol

Guess I should go fuck some chicks and/or wank to straight/lesbian porn and then mid way look at or think about a dude and make sure my boner disappears 😂
Thanks alot, @iLoveYouWithaKnife
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is it better when lesbians are love-exploring their bodies casually or do you want to see a girl go to town on another with a strap on

the former (love-exploring) of hot girls is like......... ooooo i like

and it's like a mirror image of two guys casually exploring their bodies so it's intriguing to me?

i don't know

i think the deep state is back after me
 
iLoveYouWithaKnife said:
Maybe you just don’t think that you do.
I think you’re confused.
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giphy.gif


unstoppable!
 
Captain.Heroin said:
is it better when lesbians are love-exploring their bodies casually or do you want to see a girl go to town on another with a strap on

the former (love-exploring) of hot girls is like......... ooooo i like

and it's like a mirror image of two guys casually exploring their bodies so it's intriguing to me?

i don't know

i think the deep state is back after me
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I'd say the former. I've never watched a girl fuck another girl with a strap on. Dildo yes, strap on no. No idea why I haven't. Maybe I will now

Fucking 1% battery though

Gona be a long walk home
Google mapped my location and it's not 30 miles from home, it's 12, but that's still a 4 hour walk. And my phones defo gona die so ill probably get lost or go the ultra long way. Yay
 
there is a deep seated fire within my soul and it needs to burn. i think this is why i have committed my brain to memory so many useless things. so many facts i cannot take with me. the logic of a cold and indifferent world that wishes me as dead as i do myself. i construct creative and different ways to entertain this fire before it devours everything. only in an extreme temperature will the singularity of the abyss which holds me stationary, suspended in life like a fossil in amber, my heart in stone and my dick to dust. eventually the gasoline ignites and there is nothing but my charred remains, a wet dream of my sick demented life...

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I found what I love the most in life and it is killing me, so I don't have to do the job. One less thing to worry about as I scratch off the shopping list. COFFEE MAKER (1). WATER, 1L (4). ROPE (40 ft). I leave off the album, the music I will last hear. I can download a cheap audio copy directly from some other lonely weirdo on the internet who worships the void without ever knowing it (for nihilism and Christianity have more in common than I once realized). I had once great things and they became squandered by my ignorance. Now all I have is the dirt below and I stare at it knowing it is where I belong
 
I’m higher than giraffe tittys again... Who’s on any substance with me? Why else would I be up at 4 in the morning
 
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