I can only speak from my personal experience as to some things that I've learned about myself in my ongoing recovery so it may not apply to you, but for what it's worth...
1) A lot of my drug/alcohol abuse was really just an attempt to self-medicate a lifetime of issues that I didn't know how to deal with in a healthy manner. These ranged from my own brain chemistry (anxiety, depression, OCD, etc.) to things like family problems and being bullied.
2) I always thought that "the grass was always greener on the other side". From Edgar Allen Poe to Jim Morrison to Kurt Cobain, all of my heroes died young tragic deaths. That seemed romantic to me when I was younger, but now it just makes me sad.
3) Sometimes there are worse things than being sober. I have more stories than I care to remember about things like waking up with no memory of the night before, covered in cuts and bruises, holes in the wall, car parked sideways in my yard, friends & family not talking to me, etc.
There's nothing overtly special about my night right now; I'm sitting in bed sipping coconut water and browsing the internet. Maybe I'll microwave an instant pizza and find and old B&W movie to watch later. But I'm safe, and I'm happy, and that's more than I could ever ask for.
Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer