Adderall ruined my life and its not stopping

[ADHDMY4SS]

Well you're obviously not in the UK, and while whatever you've taken might give ADHD like symptoms, genuine ADHD is something you are born with, symptoms show really early. If symptoms only start later in life, it's not ADHD.

I still resent your screen name, as, despite being genuine, I had to struggle really hard, and that was after years of misdx, to get even mph. lol it pisses me off how easy you got it.

well FYI Wood I would ALWAYS get caught day dreaming in grades 1-7 like literally DREAMING into the window zoned out. never got anything done that involved reading or memorizing shit i didn't care for, couldn't go past the first chapter in a book, ever. Math was luckily and still is very easy for me so flew threw that in higher difficulty classes too. business calculus and all that boring shit. so i guess those are a few symptoms of ADHD hence my new location!!.....

oh and if I stopped or didnt take my dose I'd be bedridden and moody as F and just do nothing all day but oversleep and maybe overeat. zero motivation like a tank of gas in a car

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

Just realised, your situation perfectly illustrates something I suspected at the time. i.e. it would be easier for a non-ADHD person to get the DX than a genuine ADHDer. Lots of ADHDers have problems with forms and stupid questions, so it's really tough for them, but for a healthy person, it would be easy to fill in the forms with a bunch of lies.

lmfaooo a bunch of lies. no dude its not like that. I was just trying to show exactly how easy it is to get the damn things, not so much that I was bullshitting all along. But yeah here in the states its pretty much a referral from your regular doctor to a psych and he/she writes it after some tests on paper. the script isnt cheap at all though... check out my other thread lol plenty to read about that there

 

[Woodburner]

well FYI Wood I would ALWAYS get caught day dreaming in grades 1-7 like literally DREAMING into the window zoned out. never got anything done that involved reading or memorizing shit i didn't care for, couldn't go past the first chapter in a book, ever. Math was luckily and still is very easy for me so flew threw that in higher difficulty classes too. business calculus and all that boring shit. so i guess those are a few symptoms of ADHD hence my new location!!.....

oh and if I stopped or didnt take my dose I'd be bedridden and moody as F and just do nothing all day but oversleep and maybe overeat. zero motivation like a tank of gas in a car

So why do you say you faked it? Are you in denial or something?

 

[Woodburner]

I don't like the way drugs are the only 'help' available. Personally I have made far more improvement by changing my diet. How I am now, is night and day compared to 5 years ago before I stopped meds, and I have reason to believe that all ADHD types ASD etc. would benefit from the same changes.

 

[Isnortice91]

You need Adivan my friend. The speed pill adderral can make you very anxious.
You're doing Amphetamine so it has more short term side effects then crystal meth dude. What you need is Adivan. Adivan is also used by emergency rooms at hospitals to treat patients who have anxiety from doing meth.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Fuck Adderall. @ADHDMY4SS , did you quit or what? This is why I try to warn people about the consequences of taking it. Adderall does take over your life and identity. It makes you think you can't live without it. Usually people who stick up for it are in the honeymoon phase or in denial.

 

[Iceman1216]

Just a thank you to everybody here!! I have never tried Adderall, but had a Dr. want to put my 23 yr son on it? he is an adult and we are close, so we talked and figured out he was more Lazy than mentally ill .
Wow the stuff sounds Nasty? I have been hearing stories for decades of children being put on adderall and ritalin , and how Good Johnny and Suzy are doing and behaving on it ?!?!?!? WTF
so this is just Meth? Speed?
Ouch

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

Hello all I've been a reader here for years. I decided to make my own account today and post.

Ive been taking the devils pill, Adderall, for about 3 years now on and off. When I started at first a friend of mine really abused it and I couldn't even feel it. Looking back I seriously do NOT know why the eff I continued using it after that. I saw the mood swings he went through and I would even see how he was one person on it and another when he wasn't on it. Talk about hypocrisy, this shit took over my life. I began gliding through my 12h shifts and just overall barking back at life. Something my calm self never really had it in me to do. I also picked up xanax and abused the shit out of it for about the same amount of time. Luckily I kicked the xanax months ago, 4, or so. I'm never letting myself touch that shit again. I'd rather let my overwhelming anxiety and social anxiety take my life over, sit in a dark room for ever and play video games rather than swallow that garbage and let it knaw away at my memory and my life. Lastly I abused MDMA and went a little too far a couple nights, the last of which was around the first time I took ads. Just to give you a glimpse of where my mental state is at.

Today I'm left with serious social anxiety. I don't know where it stems from. I fucking hate it it controls my life start to finish. I'm in my prime and it's seriously depressing knowing I carry such a weight. The worst part is I know it's all in my head and that in it's entirety weighs on me even more because I see the cruel cycle I put myself through. I can briefly open up to my girlfriend, she's great and all but due to some unfortunate circumstances with my other good friends, well, they're pretty much gone. During social encounters I am QUICK to run out of breath, stutter, or screach with my hoarse Adderall voice. All these embarassing ass defects in my voice and presentation happen at once and it seems like my mood or anxiety triggers them. I never used to have speech problems. Definitely makes me feel hopeless :/

Anyways back to the Adderall. I went to a new dock and bullshitted my way into ADHD which was elementary at most. I get 30*20mg ir brand name per script and I have my own 30mg ir that I pulled outta my ass...... I stay up for two days at most taking about 300MG on a binge session. I've tried to kick it a few times, ate a lot got rest but I always feel so damn lazy and unmotivated I end up taking it again.

When I use it I feel anxious but with that happy coat of tweak over it, it's good and bad I guess. I believe to the death of me people laugh about me behind my back. Anytime I hear anyone laughing it crushes me inside. Working in a high traffic environment dealing with 100s of ppl a day, this weighs on me too. When someone is actually laughing at me, it's brutal. I've had panic attacks a handful of times when a fight or flight mode or whatever it's called comes on, I definitely do not fight.

Sleepless again I fell back on them. I don't know what to do. Feeling ways about life I never thought I would feel before. They scare me to even write them down.

Please help. Anyone with advice please anything at all. I feel so alone it really fucking sucks and I hate being around people, the one thing that would make me happy. I've seen counselors before and it never gets far I almost feel like I get further on here.

How do I get my self esteem back? How do I at least find it in my to throw a blow back at my anxiety? Lately I have the feeling where I just don't care. About anything. At all. How so you ask? Any question at all you have? My answer is I don't care. I don't care to care.

Thanks for reading sorry if this sounds fucking pathetic its the only place I can tell my story without a filter

I'm so sorry. I personally have issues with controlling my use so I do sympathize. For sure, I personally benefit when I space my uses out and absolutely avoid days in a row of doing it (even on lower doses/middle doses). If you struggle with stopping entirely, imo it's best for an addict who can't quit to try to minimize the damage. Find ways to lower your doses/tolerance or figure out how to space out your use more so you at least get used to adjusting to life without it for most of your days/minimize the side effects. Nowadays I try to take breaks after using it a day and recover for a week or so if I can. These breaks are vital to not letting it take control.

Stimulant crashes do make one anti-social. You feel horrible mentally and paranoid. Stimulants during the up can alleviate anxiety but the crashing and even days after using can possess increased anxiety. When it comes to social anxiety, socializing on the regular definitely alleviates it and helps you realize that there are good qualities about yourself that make people want to be around you. Anxiety is not in your head--it's a real thing that affects people in real ways. In some ways I think the internal environment matters more than someone's external one.. so the vicious thoughts in your mind are VERY REAL. Do not mistake the thoughts in your head as being nonsense. They are affecting you more than actual people in your life. You're internal environment is like an additional person. It requires nurturing and acceptance.

It's going to take time to accept yourself and realize that you do probably have characteristics that make you enjoyable to be around. If you continue abusing the adderall with high doses like these though, any progress you make on yourself will diminish from the up-and-down nature of stimulants. My best advice is to find a way to space out your use more or lower the dose. You can ask your doctor to lower your dose if you don't have the self control to do so and that will minimize the damage and anxiety. The crashes alone make one depressed and can be brutal to go through. I think the crashes are affecting you more than you realize long/short term. It's not good to repeatedly experience depressive episodes (which are guaranteed from stimulants every time). Also make it a point to never move onto meth lol. I can't offer helpful advice like I wish I could, but trust me you're not alone and you'll be okay. Is there something you're hiding from by covering up your mind with stimulants at the end of the day? Something traumatic in your past? There's definitely an internal work-in-progress for addiction and that's something only you can figure out and alleviate.

People assume adderall and ritalin are soft drugs but the effects are quite potent. Sometimes even stronger than harder things like cocaine and etc.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Just a thank you to everybody here!! I have never tried Adderall, but had a Dr. want to put my 23 yr son on it? he is an adult and we are close, so we talked and figured out he was more Lazy than mentally ill .
Wow the stuff sounds Nasty? I have been hearing stories for decades of children being put on adderall and ritalin , and how Good Johnny and Suzy are doing and behaving on it ?!?!?!? WTF
so this is just Meth? Speed?
Ouch

Yes, it's essentially meth and they give this crap to children like candy too. Your son is 23 so it's best for him to try to get by without it. When people take Adderall, it can seem like they're doing better in life because things get accomplished at first. You have more energy and motivation than you know what to do with only in the beginning though. People build their life around the drug and feel like they cannot accomplish anything at all without it. The drug breaks you down mentally and physically over time. When you don't take it, you don't want to get out of bed or do anything at all. It literally feels like someone sucked out your entire life force. If you end up becoming addicted (which usually happens) then you're caught up in a vicious cycle of binging your script within a week and counting down the days until your next refill because you feel dead without it.

It's awful. I can see why people become afraid to quit. You start to rely on that pill to do everything. It becomes who you are. Well, that's what happened to me anyway and many others echo that experience.

There are probably those who can take it responsibly, but I bet that's incredibly rare. No matter what, tolerance comes into play. You will always have to up your dose and eventually it stops working altogether. Every one has to quit at some point. It's not a drug that's sustainable for an entire lifetime. Amphetamines are still glorified in the media and drug companies/doctors aren't stressing the consequences because they want to make money. It's not worth it.

I switched to Concerta (24 hour Ritalin) because I was still suffering with PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) about a year after quitting. It helps with ADHD/motivation and even if I run out, I don't feel like I don't want to live anymore. Gabapentin works wonder in combination with Concerta to get rid of any anxiety/edginess. Every one has to find their own path though. I only know what works for me.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

Hello all I've been a reader here for years. I decided to make my own account today and post.

Ive been taking the devils pill, Adderall, for about 3 years now on and off. When I started at first a friend of mine really abused it and I couldn't even feel it. Looking back I seriously do NOT know why the eff I continued using it after that. I saw the mood swings he went through and I would even see how he was one person on it and another when he wasn't on it. Talk about hypocrisy, this shit took over my life. I began gliding through my 12h shifts and just overall barking back at life. Something my calm self never really had it in me to do. I also picked up xanax and abused the shit out of it for about the same amount of time. Luckily I kicked the xanax months ago, 4, or so. I'm never letting myself touch that shit again. I'd rather let my overwhelming anxiety and social anxiety take my life over, sit in a dark room for ever and play video games rather than swallow that garbage and let it knaw away at my memory and my life. Lastly I abused MDMA and went a little too far a couple nights, the last of which was around the first time I took ads. Just to give you a glimpse of where my mental state is at.

Today I'm left with serious social anxiety. I don't know where it stems from. I fucking hate it it controls my life start to finish. I'm in my prime and it's seriously depressing knowing I carry such a weight. The worst part is I know it's all in my head and that in it's entirety weighs on me even more because I see the cruel cycle I put myself through. I can briefly open up to my girlfriend, she's great and all but due to some unfortunate circumstances with my other good friends, well, they're pretty much gone. During social encounters I am QUICK to run out of breath, stutter, or screach with my hoarse Adderall voice. All these embarassing ass defects in my voice and presentation happen at once and it seems like my mood or anxiety triggers them. I never used to have speech problems. Definitely makes me feel hopeless :/

Anyways back to the Adderall. I went to a new dock and bullshitted my way into ADHD which was elementary at most. I get 30*20mg ir brand name per script and I have my own 30mg ir that I pulled outta my ass...... I stay up for two days at most taking about 300MG on a binge session. I've tried to kick it a few times, ate a lot got rest but I always feel so damn lazy and unmotivated I end up taking it again.

When I use it I feel anxious but with that happy coat of tweak over it, it's good and bad I guess. I believe to the death of me people laugh about me behind my back. Anytime I hear anyone laughing it crushes me inside. Working in a high traffic environment dealing with 100s of ppl a day, this weighs on me too. When someone is actually laughing at me, it's brutal. I've had panic attacks a handful of times when a fight or flight mode or whatever it's called comes on, I definitely do not fight.

Sleepless again I fell back on them. I don't know what to do. Feeling ways about life I never thought I would feel before. They scare me to even write them down.

Please help. Anyone with advice please anything at all. I feel so alone it really fucking sucks and I hate being around people, the one thing that would make me happy. I've seen counselors before and it never gets far I almost feel like I get further on here.

How do I get my self esteem back? How do I at least find it in my to throw a blow back at my anxiety? Lately I have the feeling where I just don't care. About anything. At all. How so you ask? Any question at all you have? My answer is I don't care. I don't care to care.

Thanks for reading sorry if this sounds fucking pathetic its the only place I can tell my story without a filter

This is so Sadderall
Sounds like your meds are Badderall
But don't blow your Wadderall!
Have you tried tapering your dose down slowly? Tapering stuff always works for me. Try and you'll be Gladderall
Keep slowly decreasing it until you can come off it when you're only on a Tadderall
You'll soon be feeling Radderall!
But remember your will-power needs to be iron-cladderall.
That stuff is ruining your life. Get rid of it by calling on it a Ji-Hadderall
Sorry about this. You must think I'm Madderall!

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

Yes, it's essentially meth and they give this crap to children like candy too. Your son is 23 so it's best for him to try to get by without it. When people take Adderall, it can seem like they're doing better in life because things get accomplished at first. You have more energy and motivation than you know what to do with only in the beginning though. People build their life around the drug and feel like they cannot accomplish anything at all without it. The drug breaks you down mentally and physically over time. When you don't take it, you don't want to get out of bed or do anything at all. It literally feels like someone sucked out your entire life force. If you end up becoming addicted (which usually happens) then you're caught up in a vicious cycle of binging your script within a week and counting down the days until your next refill because you feel dead without it.

It's awful. I can see why people become afraid to quit. You start to rely on that pill to do everything. It becomes who you are. Well, that's what happened to me anyway and many others echo that experience.

There are probably those who can take it responsibly, but I bet that's incredibly rare. No matter what, tolerance comes into play. You will always have to up your dose and eventually it stops working altogether. Every one has to quit at some point. It's not a drug that's sustainable for an entire lifetime. Amphetamines are still glorified in the media and drug companies/doctors aren't stressing the consequences because they want to make money. It's not worth it.

I switched to Concerta (24 hour Ritalin) because I was still suffering with PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) about a year after quitting. It helps with ADHD/motivation and even if I run out, I don't feel like I don't want to live anymore. Every one has to find their own path though. I only know what works for me.

Can I ask you how large your script was if I may? You can PM me if it's not something you wanna say in a thread. The thing that saved me a lot so far is that my script is not that large. Still, I agree it's not something you can sustain. I'm lucky so far my doses have been very limited because otherwise with a huge script I'd probably be losing my mind.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Can I ask you how large your script was if I may? You can PM me if it's not something you wanna say in a thread. The thing that saved me a lot so far is that my script is not that large. Still, I agree it's not something you can sustain. I'm lucky so far my doses have been very limited because otherwise with a huge script I'd probably be losing my mind.

I wasn't prescribed a big dose. It was only 12.5 mg instant release twice a day. 60 pills. I started out taking it as prescribed, but took way more over time. I was in love with it at first because I felt like I was finally the person I wanted to be. Plenty of motivation, absolutely no depression or anxiety. I could go anywhere and talk to anyone. Taking that pill is like making a deal with the devil. Everything it gives you in the beginning, it takes back at the end and worst.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I wasn't prescribed a big dose. It was only 12.5 mg instant release twice a day. 60 pills. I started out taking it as prescribed, but took way more over time. I was in love with it at first because I felt like I was finally the person I wanted to be. Plenty of motivation, absolutely no depression or anxiety. I could go anywhere and talk to anyone. Taking that pill is like making a deal with the devil. Everything it gives you in the beginning, it takes back at the end and worst.

Ah ok, that is enough to cause problems. Some people have way larger doses even Were you like me where there's always a week per month where you're absolutely tweaked?

OP I don't recommend selling them directly.. but find a way to get rid of a good amount of your stash for sure. I know how hard it is to make the final plunge and just totally go without it. Minimize amount somehow?

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

To avoid the perils of stimulant withdrawal, I highly avoid doing it for days in a row. This way I only deal with two days or so of feeling groggy and a little bit irritable. I know I should forego my use altogether, however I am a bit hedonistic and am not ready to give it up yet. Eventually... lol. I just need something to treat myself occasionally since I quit marijuana and I only have kratom anymore. Probably the addict within me talking I know. I just am not ready yet. However, I appreciate it not being a daily addiction that would really be hell on earth.

I've struggled with other addictions here and there, but adderall is the one that makes me feel the best. The crash and consequences are nasty, but for some reason nothing else is as euphoric. I'm never going to do meth lol. Fastest way to ruin mah life.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

OP has to be honest with himself/herself. There was no way I'd be able to taper or take a small amount. I was fed up and knew quitting cold turkey was the only way. I told the psychiatrist to cancel my scripts. That way I wouldn't be able to get it anymore. Never mention addiction if you cancel your script. Just say you don't like the way it makes you feel anymore.

If you ever go cold turkey, you need to make sure you have plenty of time off of work or whatever so you can recuperate. You won't feel like doing jackshit but lying around and watching the telly.

Some people have an easier time quitting than others. In my case, the PAWS lasted close to a year. I took kratom, Gabapentin and sometimes Adrafinil to hold me over, but it just wasn't enough. I still felt suicidal even 7 months in. That's when I switched clinics and got on Concerta + Gabapentin. I still take kratom just because it's a nice mood lift for depression/anxiety.
That works for me, you gotta find what works for you.

Bottomline is you have to be fed up enough to want to quit. I was sick of being a slave to Addy.

The Quitting Adderall forum helped me feel like I wasn't losing my mind. It was comforting to see others going through the same thing.

QuittingAdderall.com Forums

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

You need Adivan my friend. The speed pill adderral can make you very anxious.
You're doing Amphetamine so it has more short term side effects then crystal meth dude. What you need is Adivan. Adivan is also used by emergency rooms at hospitals to treat patients who have anxiety from doing meth.

Thanks for the advice bro. I am now prescribed Kpins. I believe you're referring to Ativan.

This is so Sadderall
Sounds like your meds are Badderall
But don't blow your Wadderall!
Have you tried tapering your dose down slowly? Tapering stuff always works for me. Try and you'll be Gladderall
Keep slowly decreasing it until you can come off it when you're only on a Tadderall
You'll soon be feeling Radderall!
But remember your will-power needs to be iron-cladderall.
That stuff is ruining your life. Get rid of it by calling on it a Ji-Hadderall
Sorry about this. You must think I'm Madderall!

LOL! thanks for the creative poem. That was clever. Did you write that? Dumb question since it's so specific to me but I have to ask. You could make some money off that

To avoid the perils of stimulant withdrawal, I highly avoid doing it for days in a row. This way I only deal with two days or so of feeling groggy and a little bit irritable. I know I should forego my use altogether, however I am a bit hedonistic and am not ready to give it up yet. Eventually... lol. I just need something to treat myself occasionally since I quit marijuana and I only have kratom anymore. Probably the addict within me talking I know. I just am not ready yet. However, I appreciate it not being a daily addiction that would really be hell on earth.

I've struggled with other addictions here and there, but adderall is the one that makes me feel the best. The crash and consequences are nasty, but for some reason nothing else is as euphoric. I'm never going to do meth lol. Fastest way to ruin mah life.

I really appreciate the sympathy more than I could put into words. Haven't really retained my circle of friends so it got smaller and the ones that were left unfortunately both do nothing but shit I don't want to be around. The other took a lotta money from me as a loan and took off to a different country. He was my single best friend since we were in fucking 2nd grade. Anyways lol this was a fairly old post (1.5 years ago). I am much better now. I have learned to cope with the demons in me and am on a medical taper from benzos. I am also on a strict diet and extensively exercise routinely, which is a life changer.

Again appreciate the advice bro. Happy Sunday!

OP has to be honest with himself/herself. There was no way I'd be able to taper or take a small amount. I was fed up and knew quitting cold turkey was the only way. I told the psychiatrist to cancel my scripts. That way I wouldn't be able to get it anymore. Never mention addiction if you cancel your script. Just say you don't like the way it makes you feel anymore.

If you ever go cold turkey, you need to make sure you have plenty of time off of work or whatever so you can recuperate. You won't feel like doing jackshit but lying around and watching the telly.

Some people have an easier time quitting than others. In my case, the PAWS lasted close to a year. I took kratom, Gabapentin and sometimes Adrafinil to hold me over, but it just wasn't enough. I still felt suicidal even 7 months in. That's when I switched clinics and got on Concerta + Gabapentin. I still take kratom just because it's a nice mood lift for depression/anxiety.
That works for me, you gotta find what works for you.

Bottomline is you have to be fed up enough to want to quit. I was sick of being a slave to Addy.

The Quitting Adderall forum helped me feel like I wasn't losing my mind. It was comforting to see others going through the same thing.

QuittingAdderall.com Forums

Hey CTC!

So just to put this out there I was completely honest with my new psych recently since my last one was a piece of dog shit and never even looked me in the eye when I was in his office. An hour drive for a written script on a piece of paper and bye. He judged the living fuck out of me after I told him about the oxies. I could see it in his eyes every time I went there. I couldn't take feeling so ashamed around someone who previously respected me because I quit cold turkey and that was NO JOKE it was THEE hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Oxies are FUCKING DEVIL PILLS they come from hell and will kill you before you know it. I'm lucky to be alive after 600mg a day for 10 months or so. Not long after this post actually is when that phase started. I quit all on my own no medical supervision which was dangerous; no detox except stopping the medication. I couldn't drink water, eat any food, or sleep at ALL for four days. Believe me or not I couldn't care less; not here to hollywood you.

Anyways, I told me new psych about my most recent abuse issue with xanax and was prescribed Kpins immediately. I didn't want to reup from my source and I wanted out of the zombie 8MG a day life. Showed her my last two and told her she can have them to express how serious I was as I was twitching and anxious AF speaking with her (early withdrawals, yes they kick in that fast, even faster actually) and she looked at them and told me these are 5MG each. Currently on Vyvanse, GABA when needed I take, and the Kpins. I work out a lot and I eat better than I ever have.

Much love for the attention and advice!☮

Same to everyone else as well.

Oh and to the guy from Long Island - (sorry cant remember name) that questioned his 23 yr old's medication recommendation. Sorry to be blunt but F U C K NO!!!!! If you want to good results for a year and a life of hell after that, to what extent I can't say I'm not psychic. It's like playing roulette as far as what drugs usually follow whether recreational use or prescribed. If I had a sun I would give him a loaded firearm when he turned 8 before I gave him adderall at 23.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

Thanks for the advice bro. I am now prescribed Kpins. I believe you're referring to Ativan.



LOL! thanks for the creative poem. That was clever. Did you write that? Dumb question since it's so specific to me but I have to ask. You could make some money off that



I really appreciate the sympathy more than I could put into words. Haven't really retained my circle of friends so it got smaller and the ones that were left unfortunately both do nothing but shit I don't want to be around. The other took a lotta money from me as a loan and took off to a different country. He was my single best friend since we were in fucking 2nd grade. Anyways lol this was a fairly old post (1.5 years ago). I am much better now. I have learned to cope with the demons in me and am on a medical taper from benzos. I am also on a strict diet and extensively exercise routinely, which is a life changer.

Again appreciate the advice bro. Happy Sunday!



Hey CTC!

So just to put this out there I was completely honest with my new psych recently since my last one was a piece of dog shit and never even looked me in the eye when I was in his office. An hour drive for a written script on a piece of paper and bye. He judged the living fuck out of me after I told him about the oxies. I could see it in his eyes every time I went there. I couldn't take feeling so ashamed around someone who previously respected me because I quit cold turkey and that was NO JOKE it was THEE hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Oxies are FUCKING DEVIL PILLS they come from hell and will kill you before you know it. I'm lucky to be alive after 600mg a day for 10 months or so. Not long after this post actually is when that phase started. I quit all on my own no medical supervision which was dangerous; no detox except stopping the medication. I couldn't drink water, eat any food, or sleep at ALL for four days. Believe me or not I couldn't care less; not here to hollywood you.

Anyways, I told me new psych about my most recent abuse issue with xanax and was prescribed Kpins immediately. I didn't want to reup from my source and I wanted out of the zombie 8MG a day life. Showed her my last two and told her she can have them to express how serious I was as I was twitching and anxious AF speaking with her (early withdrawals, yes they kick in that fast, even faster actually) and she looked at them and told me these are 5MG each. Currently on Vyvanse, GABA when needed I take, and the Kpins. I work out a lot and I eat better than I ever have.

Much love for the attention and advice!☮

Same to everyone else as well.

Oh and to the guy from Long Island - (sorry cant remember name) that questioned his 23 yr old's medication recommendation. Sorry to be blunt but F U C K NO!!!!! If you want to good results for a year and a life of hell after that, to what extent I can't say I'm not psychic. It's like playing roulette as far as what drugs usually follow whether recreational use or prescribed. If I had a sun I would give him a loaded firearm when he turned 8 before I gave him adderall at 23.

I did write that (in about a minute paha) just for you! xD
Hoped it might cheer you up a little .

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Thanks for the advice bro. I am now prescribed Kpins. I believe you're referring to Ativan.



LOL! thanks for the creative poem. That was clever. Did you write that? Dumb question since it's so specific to me but I have to ask. You could make some money off that



I really appreciate the sympathy more than I could put into words. Haven't really retained my circle of friends so it got smaller and the ones that were left unfortunately both do nothing but shit I don't want to be around. The other took a lotta money from me as a loan and took off to a different country. He was my single best friend since we were in fucking 2nd grade. Anyways lol this was a fairly old post (1.5 years ago). I am much better now. I have learned to cope with the demons in me and am on a medical taper from benzos. I am also on a strict diet and extensively exercise routinely, which is a life changer.

Again appreciate the advice bro. Happy Sunday!



Hey CTC!

So just to put this out there I was completely honest with my new psych recently since my last one was a piece of dog shit and never even looked me in the eye when I was in his office. An hour drive for a written script on a piece of paper and bye. He judged the living fuck out of me after I told him about the oxies. I could see it in his eyes every time I went there. I couldn't take feeling so ashamed around someone who previously respected me because I quit cold turkey and that was NO JOKE it was THEE hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Oxies are FUCKING DEVIL PILLS they come from hell and will kill you before you know it. I'm lucky to be alive after 600mg a day for 10 months or so. Not long after this post actually is when that phase started. I quit all on my own no medical supervision which was dangerous; no detox except stopping the medication. I couldn't drink water, eat any food, or sleep at ALL for four days. Believe me or not I couldn't care less; not here to hollywood you.

Anyways, I told me new psych about my most recent abuse issue with xanax and was prescribed Kpins immediately. I didn't want to reup from my source and I wanted out of the zombie 8MG a day life. Showed her my last two and told her she can have them to express how serious I was as I was twitching and anxious AF speaking with her (early withdrawals, yes they kick in that fast, even faster actually) and she looked at them and told me these are 5MG each. Currently on Vyvanse, GABA when needed I take, and the Kpins. I work out a lot and I eat better than I ever have.

Much love for the attention and advice!☮

Same to everyone else as well.

Oh and to the guy from Long Island - (sorry cant remember name) that questioned his 23 yr old's medication recommendation. Sorry to be blunt but F U C K NO!!!!! If you want to good results for a year and a life of hell after that, to what extent I can't say I'm not psychic. It's like playing roulette as far as what drugs usually follow whether recreational use or prescribed. If I had a sun I would give him a loaded firearm when he turned 8 before I gave him adderall at 23.

Whoa, which benzo was 5 mg each????!! These doctors overprescribe too much, they make me sick.

I don't tell my psychiatrists about any addiction issues ever because I figure they'd act like that asshole doc you describe. Unless it's absolutely necessary to tell them, it's best not to. I don't blame you for admitting it because you were scared of withdrawals. Benzo withdrawal can kill you. It's nothing to play around with.

I get prescribed Gabapentin and I usually keep phenibut in my stash so even if I run out of benzos, there's usually something in my arsenal to replace it with.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

OP has to be honest with himself/herself. There was no way I'd be able to taper or take a small amount. I was fed up and knew quitting cold turkey was the only way. I told the psychiatrist to cancel my scripts. That way I wouldn't be able to get it anymore. Never mention addiction if you cancel your script. Just say you don't like the way it makes you feel anymore.

If you ever go cold turkey, you need to make sure you have plenty of time off of work or whatever so you can recuperate. You won't feel like doing jackshit but lying around and watching the telly.

Some people have an easier time quitting than others. In my case, the PAWS lasted close to a year. I took kratom, Gabapentin and sometimes Adrafinil to hold me over, but it just wasn't enough. I still felt suicidal even 7 months in. That's when I switched clinics and got on Concerta + Gabapentin. I still take kratom just because it's a nice mood lift for depression/anxiety.
That works for me, you gotta find what works for you.

Bottomline is you have to be fed up enough to want to quit. I was sick of being a slave to Addy.

The Quitting Adderall forum helped me feel like I wasn't losing my mind. It was comforting to see others going through the same thing.

QuittingAdderall.com Forums

The strange thing about adderall/ritalin addiction is that most people do not have it actually. Even people who abuse methamphetamine seem to be able to take their adderall/whatever therapeutically and have no need to abuse it. This is a weird concept to me but whatever. With meth there is commonly a perpetual desire to redose and most people cannot control themselves in doing so. Adderall is similar to meth (just not as potent or euphoric), but I've never understood how so many people have no issues with redosing while with meth they absolutely take it to the farthest ends at times. How can one drug with similar effects be so differently treated by the general population?

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

The strange thing about adderall/ritalin addiction is that most people do not have it actually. Even people who abuse methamphetamine seem to be able to take their adderall/whatever therapeutically and have no need to abuse it. This is a weird concept to me but whatever. With meth there is commonly a perpetual desire to redose and most people cannot control themselves in doing so. Adderall is similar to meth (just not as potent or euphoric), but I've never understood how so many people have no issues with redosing while with meth they absolutely take it to the farthest ends at times. How can one drug with similar effects be so differently treated by the general population?

I think people abuse Adderall a lot. There are many you don't hear about in the mainstream because drug companies/doctors are just trying to rake in cash. I've never done meth, but Addy had a grip on me. I've seen plenty of people on the Quitting Adderall forum who were quite addicted as well.