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?? ? THE SOCIAL CLUB v. Come Say Hi! ? ??

They only work for like a day for me. Then, I can't really feel anything any longer unless it is good H.

My back pain has been horrid and when I was not using I barely noticed it. I am starting to freak out. This feeling is awful and I am getting very depressed.

I used to seem happier; more cheerful, upbeat I think? I can't remember... I am overwhelmed by physical agony and particularly depression. The depression has been so bad I forgot about the burning alive feeling in my nerves. Pain permeating my being as a whole. This type of pain is related to how I fucked up in life. How never anything goes right. How the harder I try, the more I seem to get nowhere. How my life isn't worth living anymore. Im too stupid to getting a fucking date. I talk to everyone and people are friendly but I have no social life. I hate most people anyway, non-drug using nor suffering folks that is. I made sure this Christmas to be extra nice to my brother and sister. Those are the people I care about, my sister needed to know I love her. The rose oil inhaling with her was so nice she was so happy. I am freaking out to the extreme and I would not mind a shot of heroin. There is only so much I can take the first two days were great and I exploded today. I don't even remember who I am. I don't even think I ever knew. I think my life has been form after form of suffering, the harder I try, the more I suffer as people seem to reject me as a man. That is cool. I can fuck off from life whenever I want and it's getting to be around that time. I can't take anymore. I don't have another hardcore withdrawal like this in me I just don't. When the depression hits and I start thinking of poisoning myself or slitting my wrists then that is when shit hits the fan but what I really want is heroin and I'm too weak to get it and need to wait to get paid soon. I fucking hate life I wish it was more like a dream. I'm distracted by the plague of the body. Physical discomforts, a broken mind, a broken heart. To the point that I can't function anymore.
 
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Ahhh, patience, very likely the one concept that I've been encouraged to learn more about, and attempt to practice. It remains a mystery to me, however, to the point that sometimes I find a plethora of patience in others maddening (though not as much these days). Maybe one day...

And good luck, Shroomy. All around.
 
^Thanks you two I could use some luck with women these days. I am shit out of luck in that regard and as my friend pointed out today I am always talking about some new friend I randomly made. I talk to people everywhere I don't really get it... guess I'm just a burnout. I ain't got no oxy habit I got a broken heart :_ (

This withdrawal is shit it's the 4th day and I still don't feel any better. For the amount that I used, it was so not worth it. I am a trainwreck and was flat out suicidal the entire day yesterday.

Triple conched my left ear today while tripping on 2c-d and stoned... now that was an experience. My buddy in town videotaped it and I just watched it and... holy fuck. Got stabbed for 2 and a half minutes. I did 2 in my other ear 3 weeks ago... those ones are more hidden in the flat part of my ear, these ones are like straight through to the back and form and arc so they will be great for a triplet of wrap around rings in about a year from now. So now I have made it on two instagrams for being creative messing with my head, other for my pink hair which I totally pulled off best thing I ever did to my head. Contrary to blowing all the heroin into it and other drugs of abuse. The cartilage piercings take at least 6 months to heal and really quite a bit longer... there is little blood flow there and the tissue is thick.

Not gonna lie, hurt like hell (it will for a while) but I didn't wince. I'm already in oxy's withdrawal so what is that to me.

Really like the ways I changed my appearance lately. Feel like I need drastic change and it has manifested externally. I have 7 ear piercings now getting up there. I want a tragus one at some point but I won't be wearing my new headphones for about a month that's for sure.
 
Shroomy I thought things were going really well with the foxy chick? But based on your last post, did something change there? My apologies if so :/

Yeah, I creep and lurk this thread, without being very active in it.

Anyone know what happened to Keeping?
 
Yeah things were going really well but she is complicated. I don't know how I feel about complicated women but there is a lot of good between us. She is on vacation now so I'm just not talking to her. I'll probably see her again when she's back in 3 weeks. I will leave her wondering if I found someone else in the meantime (of course, I won't have). She was driving me crazy so I need a break until she overthinks things for a month or two. I really like her though, more than any girl I ever met and she is lovely. It is almost a curse to like someone so much and have them be so subtle about their feelings towards you. It's really best to ignore her while she's on vacation, I know she thinks about me and then she will likely want to hang out when we're back. Knowing me though, I am shit out of luck with women. Like my buddy from Amsterdam pointed out today, I can talk to anyone at all comfortably. I am very social, and look ridiculous now and awesome but for some reason and I can't get anywhere ever it seems. Most depressing part of my life and the only thing that makes me discontent :_ ( but maybe things will work out with her.

I talked to keeping quite a bit he got me into Lil Peep. Part of the reason my hair is pink now although it is longer and styled differently. I think he is probably busy with finals or something, and getting high. Hope he's okay. I hope that I am okay too.

Just showed up at work and nobody is there I really hope they fucked up the conversation between time zones again so I can get paid to smoke weed.
 
Anyone have insight on that, or any, of Keeping's ideograms? Man with cape pisses lightning on man with cane?

A mustache with eyes, streaming tears?
 
Yeah make sure Keeping's okay!

I got a bong today. I haven't had anything but joints for many moons. I have been so stoned all day, and passed out. My withdrawal is pretty much over physically speaking. My night shift is cancelled tonight. I am tripping on 2c-d and as my friend puts it, am a tornado of self awareness - systematically reviewing and untying knots of attachment and aversion. Really therapeutic stuff I don't know what it is: I think a combination of matters, I normally don't get spiritual experiences and life changing experiences out of 2c-d. I have been off oxy for 4 days now though, and I am waking up. It is amplifying that, along with the weed.

Letting go is a nice feeling.This has been a life changing trip, if I choose to practice the knowledge that has been transmitted to me by mysterious forces.

Man 2c-d is an awesome drug. That experience was really analytical like a nootropic psychedelic so much clarity. Mane weed is a great drug. Switching from joints for many moons to bong has been amazing. I'm feeling it for once. Gotta eschew this outdoor for some kush and some essential cannabis oil. Loving the bong, I was freestyling early so it's a good sign I'm starting to feel like myself again. Got muscles aches this morning tho real nasty ones in my upper arms, they are burning. That is the shit I flip out about not the restless legs or depression or anything else. It's the feeling that I am being burnt alive from the inside out.
 
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Happy 2018 Other Drugs.

It's 11pm Pacific, and yr. mod Scrofula is in possession. He'll be ascending shortly through partially cloudy skies into starry nights. No turbulence ahead, windspeed high at his back, he'll expect to arrive at destination BL forum again in several hours. He'd like to remind everyone that during the flight his electronic devices should not be used for communication, and any messages during that time be regarded with deep skepticism.

Stay safe, and enjoy watching him fly away.
Good night.
 
I shall monitor Scof's progress, as I too, acquired some fuel today, Mr. Musk insisted, and I would hate to disappoint a filthy rich, bold and Jenga loving pioneer like Ol Muskie. If I weren't so damn intoxicated by the womenfolk, Lord knows this space cruiser may very well be having his cargo bay ELONgated. Unk
 
I've been to Houston one time, mostly just the airport, but I was there long enough to see all those ball caps with their little stars on them, the people probably thinking they know a thing or two about those twinkling, hot dots in the sky. But no, they don't know em like a young Ol Muskie, a true twink if I've ever saw one. Yep, Lil Elon grew up in a home where sparkle wasn't just a brand of paper towels... It was a goddamned lifestyle. Give him his space, Houston... All those posers at NASA. Musk is his own unmanned mission.
 
Elon Musk irritates me, although your posts did and do their intended number on me, though with a more sinister aspect as my time awake continues.

So everybody's had their share of meth-a vu's/deja meths. I always thought I figured out how to tell the difference between a real almost-repeat/repost and the meth brain fart version. But there are at least two threads out there that just can't be right.

Of course, one sign it's the drugs is when it goes from "kinda weird" to "just can't be right." That means a mystery, and need to investigate, and the only answer you'll find is that it must be them. Those people.

I'm going to go find them. Near my pillow.
 
It could, with loss of ethics for human test subjects, be titratable into the most wonderful cocktail that ever frosted humanity's upper lip. Five hundred deaths, maybe, thousands of strokes and uncountable status epilepticus. And a drunk dog. What cost for sensation?
 
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