ShroomySatori
Bluelighter
They only work for like a day for me. Then, I can't really feel anything any longer unless it is good H.
My back pain has been horrid and when I was not using I barely noticed it. I am starting to freak out. This feeling is awful and I am getting very depressed.
I used to seem happier; more cheerful, upbeat I think? I can't remember... I am overwhelmed by physical agony and particularly depression. The depression has been so bad I forgot about the burning alive feeling in my nerves. Pain permeating my being as a whole. This type of pain is related to how I fucked up in life. How never anything goes right. How the harder I try, the more I seem to get nowhere. How my life isn't worth living anymore. Im too stupid to getting a fucking date. I talk to everyone and people are friendly but I have no social life. I hate most people anyway, non-drug using nor suffering folks that is. I made sure this Christmas to be extra nice to my brother and sister. Those are the people I care about, my sister needed to know I love her. The rose oil inhaling with her was so nice she was so happy. I am freaking out to the extreme and I would not mind a shot of heroin. There is only so much I can take the first two days were great and I exploded today. I don't even remember who I am. I don't even think I ever knew. I think my life has been form after form of suffering, the harder I try, the more I suffer as people seem to reject me as a man. That is cool. I can fuck off from life whenever I want and it's getting to be around that time. I can't take anymore. I don't have another hardcore withdrawal like this in me I just don't. When the depression hits and I start thinking of poisoning myself or slitting my wrists then that is when shit hits the fan but what I really want is heroin and I'm too weak to get it and need to wait to get paid soon. I fucking hate life I wish it was more like a dream. I'm distracted by the plague of the body. Physical discomforts, a broken mind, a broken heart. To the point that I can't function anymore.
My back pain has been horrid and when I was not using I barely noticed it. I am starting to freak out. This feeling is awful and I am getting very depressed.
I used to seem happier; more cheerful, upbeat I think? I can't remember... I am overwhelmed by physical agony and particularly depression. The depression has been so bad I forgot about the burning alive feeling in my nerves. Pain permeating my being as a whole. This type of pain is related to how I fucked up in life. How never anything goes right. How the harder I try, the more I seem to get nowhere. How my life isn't worth living anymore. Im too stupid to getting a fucking date. I talk to everyone and people are friendly but I have no social life. I hate most people anyway, non-drug using nor suffering folks that is. I made sure this Christmas to be extra nice to my brother and sister. Those are the people I care about, my sister needed to know I love her. The rose oil inhaling with her was so nice she was so happy. I am freaking out to the extreme and I would not mind a shot of heroin. There is only so much I can take the first two days were great and I exploded today. I don't even remember who I am. I don't even think I ever knew. I think my life has been form after form of suffering, the harder I try, the more I suffer as people seem to reject me as a man. That is cool. I can fuck off from life whenever I want and it's getting to be around that time. I can't take anymore. I don't have another hardcore withdrawal like this in me I just don't. When the depression hits and I start thinking of poisoning myself or slitting my wrists then that is when shit hits the fan but what I really want is heroin and I'm too weak to get it and need to wait to get paid soon. I fucking hate life I wish it was more like a dream. I'm distracted by the plague of the body. Physical discomforts, a broken mind, a broken heart. To the point that I can't function anymore.
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