ShroomySatori
Bluelighter
This was my exact experience with them. I was a very high functioning opiate addict. I was railing china white, and managing teams of 30-some tradespeople and shit like that I mean just work but point is I could hold that type of job while being a secret junkie. Actually at first, it improved my work performance as you can be sitting in the most miserable traffic jam of your life where you really need to be somewhere fast and be perfectly content and mellowed out (but it doesn't make you stupid or numb in ways like a junkie knows when they need to be responsible... because they are responsible for maintaining their supply which is the #1 thing that comes before anything else and it can become VERY expensive over time). But eventually years and years later it started to ruin my life and I was left with essentially nothing but my family a roof under my head, my guitars my phone and my life.
And yeah man before you even know it! Like it's so subtle, all they did is make my back pain go away and function better and be happy. Like... that's normal shit right? Easy to forget about until 18 months later you wake up sick as fuck unable to get out of bed in the morning until your oxy's take 2 hours to kick in. So you better have some smack to rail at the point as it will get you flying right away like 10 cups of coffee mixed with the chillness of 10 joints of kali mist never would. They are mentally stimulating, but physically relaxing and make work easier, everything easier but in the end they take everything from you. The cost is extreme. Once tolerance rises, it becomes impossible to feel those same effects and you begin to use just to feel shittier than you felt before you started using. (well I should say "I"... this was my experience with them I suppose but it happens to a lot!)
i actually never experienced the classic heroin "nod" until I took 60mg oxycodone two days ago, having no idea what my tolerance was. It was fucking crazy... like it felt so damn good, but it was so totally dysfunctional, that I can see that being extremely dangerous for me as I was fiending for it after that until I flushed my pills two days later. And the thing is I just know, that high doesn't last. Eventually in the near future you are using to feel "normal" but your "new normal" is complete fucking shit because you are a fucking junkie who needs it like food and water and doesn't even want it anymore! It's the most miserable fucking thing I have ever known!
And yo dude I was in debilitating physical pain and there is ONE thing I have a different opinion on than you and I know you know what's up cause it was like reading something I could have written myself. You are just more down to earth about this shit rn because you have a few years and I have well now 2 days LOL but I don't count the days it's all about the experience and transformation. Actually it is one day, but my opinion on opiates completely changed once I experienced that classic nod. I see myself being unable to chase that nod as much as I can ever get close to feeling that way again, so if I were to use opiates again I essentially know that I would die and die fast and die hard before I even knew what was going on. Because when you are that high they are no longer mentally stimulating and non-impairing. I was a fucking tranwreck that day man I'd open my eyes thinking I was sitting on my chair and I'd be in a yoga pose on my yoga mat on the floor and the euphoric bliss... that fucking bliss man I can NEVER do that again. I never thought I would enjoy it and I wasn't looking for that out of opiates, so I am very lucky to have experienced it after the fact and knowing how much the ruin my life. If I had experienced that earlier on, I wouldn't be here typing this. I'd be dead, in jail, or in and out of rehab and other institutions. I am SO, SO lucky!!! I owe it to all who have died before me in the same situation to make the most of my life and for fucks sake get this second date with this fox! I didn't even have a fucking sex drive once the side effects started kicking in hard. My life is just more chaotic right now totally, and with this girl of my dreams and stuff and all the positive changes it is getting ridiculous and just out of control happy happy cheerful happy no waking up sick anymore!
Okay okay the one thing. I don't think they are for debilitating physical pain man because I have that. I have chronic thoracic pain in my spine. I can't swim, I can't bike anymore (used to go on 1000km adventures camping out and stuff), I can't hit the gym EVER again and I used to way like 220lbs at 6 ft was fucking ripped, I can only do yoga, and go hiking and I have to be extremely careful. Chronic pain sucks but I deal with it without opiates because they make it worse!
My pain has actually improved since getting clean. It's not because I was abusing them either. I swear man they always made my pain worse. The more you rely on something external for pain, the worse it becomes. Essentially I could go on and on because of my experience with pain just sucks and I know people have to live with pain much worse than mine but it is my opinion that opiates never, ever help. Not even those with pain, if anything they are more susceptible to addiction and that's who they are prescribed (targeted) to! It's because the stress of chronic pain is so extreme, and they help so much at first, that so many people end up addicted and it's so easy to be in denial because you are in pain right? Like sure they help some people, I'm sure there are some people out there who take them throughout their life or whatev but tbh what are the chances of that lol? This shit feels way too fucking good and it's overprescribed like crazy. I was nodding off 2.5mg oxy when I started and prescribed 15mg, then 40, then I was doing 400mg a few years later and I had always done heroin as like a pick me up in the morning before the pills kicked in but like, it became my one and only. By the end of it I could take any amount of oxy and be completely dissatisfied. I needed to rail heroin, it was fucked and I was still getting this shit prescribed it was causing me to relapse every fucking month, and just did actually. I mean I nearly died man it was a total ominous wakeup call like dude. I cannot use these anymore AT ALL. 60mg oral oxy finally gave me that elusive shooting up "heroin nod" I experienced it once in my whole life, I mean yes I have nodded before obviously but like, this was the REAL experience just a hardcore fucking nod man. And once was enough, because that is the type of high that will kill you before you even know it. I'm lucky to be alive as a 'functional' heroin and oxycodone use for 5 years, let alone fucking with fire with high doses like that. I used to source my smack as best I could and meticulously weigh out doses with my RC scale and even that is NOT SAFE to sniff.
So yeah my point lol (sorry I'm tripping). I don't think they should be used for chronic pain. I think they should be used to prevent chronic pain through helping treat acute pain and even that is extremely risky because you gave them to the wrong person which will totally happen and they get hooked on the high, pain or no pain. I think they should really be used for two things: extreme, relentless pain (like a surgery for a shattered elbow or broken collarbone, or like cancer or something so painful the person is suicidal over it and has made attempts and shit or whatev... if you catch my drift)... OR, they could sensibly be used to get high as FUCK from the nod because it feels SO damn good what I felt two days ago lol and tbh I needed the stress relief. It was dangerous as fuck though but what I'm saying is to me, it actually makes more sense to just nod the fuck out than try to make it a part of your daily life! Although in my opinion ANY use of the shit is bad unless it's like when you're getting surgery or something like that. Just my opinion from what I have experienced. I have had severe chronic pain for 7 years and it only made me stop trying to deal with it in healthy ways, because I didn't need to anymore I wasn't feeling shit, and now that I am clean my pain is still there, but the pain of being dependent on opiates was so much fucking worse and the pain of withdrawal that it's all subjective I don't even give a fuck about it anymore! It's hardly impacting my life at all and I am really happy about that because for a while there, before I started using opiates I couldn't deal with the pain to the point that I was curled up in a ball on my bed screaming and crying for it to go away while stressing my girlfriend out so hard she just didn't know what to do. There is no escaping it. I just have to accept it and yeah like it has been hard.
That is really what led me to opiates. I was always a druggie or whatev but I knew to stop with the coke and md like opiates I never ever ever even thought of using. If I heard the word oxy I'd be like wtf isn't that some pill for people in pain? Wtf... give me a line of coke on friday night so maybe I can actually talk to a girl LOL. But, it can happen to anyone. It's a huge problem and there are so many different aspects of the problem that it isn't just one thing. It is actually one of the craziest problems going on in the world today, and for once I agree with propaganda. This shit is actually a fucking world crisis and like I have NO idea how it could be stopped. It's just like a disease that needs to be controlled a little better, but while still giving people their freedom possibly even more freedom to use as prohibition only makes it worse.
Anyways there is a lot on my mind I mean I just had the best 'heroin nod' of my life 2 days ago I had over one month and this girl was driving me crazy but now we're just chill and I've been tripping for a long time on 2c-c and I am right now there is so much on my mind I need to write write write and vent so I hope you don't mind! I mean I almost fucking DIED the other day and I slept all day today... my buddy from here had called me like 10 times while I was asleep wondering whether to tell roommate that hey he might actually not be sleeping... he might have overdosed. But I told him I flushed the pills but I have told people that before and lied to their face. You can never trust a junkie and he knows that, so he was really worried and was like dude if this ever happens again you know I will be ratting you out like it was in the back of my mind... and that scared the FUCK out of me man I can't be dying on loved ones for a hit!
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I think I will take LSD early in the day then MDMA shortly before the concert, and ketamine during. It should be heavenly %)
